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A/N: I don't own Gravitation

#20, the road home

The Road Home


They had not parted on good terms, and that had been six months ago. Sure they had some strained phone calls, cordial e-mails - but nothing with any real meaning. Shuichi's heart ached in his chest every single day of those six months, but he couldn't go home until the tour was done. Bad Luck had toured most of Europe, with a few stops in Asia on the way back. It had been a whirlwind of chaos - living out of a converted bus, playing every night and trying futilely to sleep during the day while they traveled to their next location. Maybe twice a month, if they were lucky, they would have two shows in a row at the same venue and would actually get to sleep at a hotel; that was heaven. The tour had been taxing for everyone; they all wanted to go home.

Shuichi had called Yuki the night before, to tell him they had two more dates and then should be getting back to the city. Where should he go when he got there? Hiro assured him that no matter what Shuichi could always stay at his place, but Shuichi had spent the last six months dreaming of home and wanted to be nowhere else. The call was awkward, Shuichi wanting nothing more than to be able to see Yuki's face - reading into his monotone exchange was virtually impossible.

"I don't care where you go. Come home, go somewhere else. It makes no difference to me."

Yuki's words broke Shuichi's heart.

The last appearance came and went, Bad Luck's tour finally behind them. Shuichi stared out the window, watching the lines pass by on the road, unable to sleep. He was blind to the beautiful countryside, lost in the memory of his last night with Yuki before he left.

"Will you be okay while I'm gone?" Shuichi watched his face carefully for any sign of emotion. He was having extreme difficulty figuring how Yuki felt about the tour.

Yuki looked at him for a moment before leaning back against the couch, taking a lazy drag off his cigarette and tilting his head back, blowing the smoke towards the ceiling. "Why should it make a difference?"

"Will you miss me?" Shuichi tried the blunt approach, hoping to get an answer.

Yuki just looked at him, his expression almost bored. "I'll find something to keep me occupied."

"Something, or someone?" Shuichi couldn't keep the anger from his voice, not wanting to get upset, but unable to stop it. "God Yuki, will you even wait until I've left the city before you take someone else to our bed?"

"My bed." Yuki narrowed his eyes, challenging. "It's always been my bed."

"Why do you always have to be such a bastard?"

Shuichi stormed out of the room, deeply wounded by his lover's cruel words, but trying to conceal it with his anger. He's learned that much from Yuki at least; Yuki was more willing to respond to anger than to tears. He grabbed another suitcase to finish packing, throwing things into it violently, not really paying attention to what went in. He picked up a framed photograph off the bureau and held it in his hands, fixated by the image - he and Yuki under a tree, Yuki actually smiling. What had happened after that to change things so dramatically? Life moved so fast in both their professions, it tended to chew people up and leave behind something almost unrecognizable.

"You taking that?"

Shuichi looked up to find Yuki leaning against the door-jam - arms crossed over his chest, studying him. "Do you mind if I do?"

Yuki shook his head, watching Shuichi place the picture lovingly in his suitcase. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want to take it?"

"Don't you know?" Shuichi looked at him disbelieving. "Because it'll remind me of you, of us, when we were happy. We used to be happy, right?"

Yuki shrugged slightly, then conceded. "We were."

"What happened?" Shuichi's voice was a whisper, betraying the anguish he felt inside, eyes glossy with unshed tears.

"Life." Yuki walked into the room, standing before Shuichi, expression carefully guarded. "Life has a way of tearing things apart."

"But not us, Yuki. No matter what I love you, remember that."

"You think that's really enough?" Yuki stepped closer, almost touching the man before him. "We'll just have to wait and see what life has dealt us six months from now, won't we?"

Shuichi couldn't respond. He closed the gap between them, wrapping his arms around Yuki's neck and kissing him. The kiss quickly became openly carnal - Yuki propelling them both towards the bed, roughly removing Shuichi's shirt, fingers digging into tender flesh. They made love with a passion bordering on violence, etching their skin with bites and bruises, talking out their differences in a language they could agree on. Yuki had never taken Shuichi so roughly and Shuichi had never responded so willingly - neither able to get close enough. After they were spent, they clung to each other in silence, tears shed in the dark completely unacknowledged.

By morning Yuki was gone. He had never said good-bye, not bothering to see him off. They had said all there was to say the night before, Yuki saying it in his own way.

And now Shuichi watched the landscape become more familiar, landmarks reaching out to him. The closer he got to home, the larger the knot in his stomach became and the drier his mouth. He took a cab the final leg of his journey, needing to transport his gear. Stopping in front of his house brought a wave of dizziness. This was all too surreal. He needed to see Yuki.

The house was silent when he opened the door, dragging his stuff into the foyer and leaving it. His heart thudded in his chest as he headed towards the living room where Shuichi found Yuki on the couch, legs stretched out before him with his arms crossed over his chest. The two men just stared at each other - Shuichi suddenly afraid.

After an eternity Yuki stood, stepping lightly in bare feet across the honey colored hardwoods. He stood once again before Shuichi, their eyes drawn together like magnets, unable to look away. Yuki could see Shuichi trembling under his gaze and acted on impulse, slipping his arms around Shuichi's shoulders and drawing him close. Shuichi inhaled deeply, becoming instantly intoxicated by Yuki's scent. Yuki's embrace tightened, nose buried in Shuichi's hair doing the same.

Neither knew how long they stood there, feeling the damage caused by time and distance slowly healing. This was right. They were right. Yuki's voice was barely audible, rough with emotion.

"I missed you."

"Me too."

Nothing else needed to be said. The long road home had finally come to an end.