Categories > Anime/Manga > Gravitation > All the Kisses
If Only I Could Make You Mine
A collection of 30 shorts featuring Yuki and Shuichi for a challenge community. Each 'chapter' will have its own theme. Rating varies throughout. (manga-centric)
?Blocked
A/N: I don't own Gravitation
#26 if only I could make you mine
If Only I Could Make You Mine
"Why should I bother when you don't trust me?" Yuki slammed his coffee cup on the table, the tepid contents spilling over the side. "How long does this have to go on? I told you, I apologized ... if you can't get over this then I don't know what you want me to do?"
"It's not as easy as that!" Shuichi took a deep breath, trying to lower his voice before continuing. "You have no idea what all this has done to me."
"Then tell me, brat. Tell me and maybe then I'll understand."
Shuichi looked at his hands, feeling like he was on the edge of a cliff and being forced to jump off. If he told Yuki how he was feeling it could ruin everything, but he knew he couldn't go on like this. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Would you stop being such a fucking martyr?!" Yuki reached across the table and lifted Shuichi's chin so he could look him in the eye. "Stop being so selfless and talk to me."
"I just want you to understand." Shuichi took a deep breath and started. "When we were first together you slept with other people. You didn't advertise it, but I knew. I could smell them on your skin and taste them on your tongue. At some point I complained enough and it stopped. It stopped and you seemed happy with that." Shuichi took Yuki's hand and traced a finger along his knuckles. "It took me a long time to feel secure after that. It wasn't so much that I didn't trust you, but I always wondered if I was enough. After a while I stopped feeling like that - I wasn't competing any longer - I knew I was enough"
"You still are enough." Yuki pulled his hand away and went to the fridge. He grabbed two beers and opened them, placing one in front of Shuichi and taking a long swallow out of the other.
"But that's not true, is it?" Shuichi asked mildly before taking a sip from the can.
"Listen, I don't know what you want from me. I made a mistake, I told you about it, and now we're either going to move on or..."
"Yeah, 'or'." Shuichi added bitterly.
"Is there more, or are we just going to rehash the same shit all over again?" Yuki growled before draining the rest of the can. "I don't think I want to spend the rest of the afternoon listening to what an asshole I am."
"I just want you to be mine again."
"I never stopped being yours. I never even fucked the guy..." Yuki was trying to keep his annoyance out of his voice, but was teetering on the edge of either losing it and punching something or walking out.
"I know, I know!" Shuichi was losing his composure, feeling the tears choking him up. "I just wish it would all go away. I'm tired of feeling like this - insecure and worthless." The tears broke lose and he rested his head in his hands.
"Come on, freak, you know you're not worthless." Yuki stood and moved around the table, pulling Shuichi towards him. Shuichi rested his forehead against Yuki's stomach as Yuki ran his fingers through his hair. "If you want this to go away, you have to let it go... you have to trust me."
Shuichi nodded and looked up at Yuki. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. Come on, let's go for a walk or something."
"Sure." Shuichi stood and allowed himself to be pulled into Yuki's arms, accepting the chaste kiss on his lips. "Tell me we'll get through this."
"We'll get through this." Yuki released his hold and headed towards the door. "Move it brat, I need to get home in time to watch my show."
"And you say I'm the freak?"
#26 if only I could make you mine
If Only I Could Make You Mine
"Why should I bother when you don't trust me?" Yuki slammed his coffee cup on the table, the tepid contents spilling over the side. "How long does this have to go on? I told you, I apologized ... if you can't get over this then I don't know what you want me to do?"
"It's not as easy as that!" Shuichi took a deep breath, trying to lower his voice before continuing. "You have no idea what all this has done to me."
"Then tell me, brat. Tell me and maybe then I'll understand."
Shuichi looked at his hands, feeling like he was on the edge of a cliff and being forced to jump off. If he told Yuki how he was feeling it could ruin everything, but he knew he couldn't go on like this. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Would you stop being such a fucking martyr?!" Yuki reached across the table and lifted Shuichi's chin so he could look him in the eye. "Stop being so selfless and talk to me."
"I just want you to understand." Shuichi took a deep breath and started. "When we were first together you slept with other people. You didn't advertise it, but I knew. I could smell them on your skin and taste them on your tongue. At some point I complained enough and it stopped. It stopped and you seemed happy with that." Shuichi took Yuki's hand and traced a finger along his knuckles. "It took me a long time to feel secure after that. It wasn't so much that I didn't trust you, but I always wondered if I was enough. After a while I stopped feeling like that - I wasn't competing any longer - I knew I was enough"
"You still are enough." Yuki pulled his hand away and went to the fridge. He grabbed two beers and opened them, placing one in front of Shuichi and taking a long swallow out of the other.
"But that's not true, is it?" Shuichi asked mildly before taking a sip from the can.
"Listen, I don't know what you want from me. I made a mistake, I told you about it, and now we're either going to move on or..."
"Yeah, 'or'." Shuichi added bitterly.
"Is there more, or are we just going to rehash the same shit all over again?" Yuki growled before draining the rest of the can. "I don't think I want to spend the rest of the afternoon listening to what an asshole I am."
"I just want you to be mine again."
"I never stopped being yours. I never even fucked the guy..." Yuki was trying to keep his annoyance out of his voice, but was teetering on the edge of either losing it and punching something or walking out.
"I know, I know!" Shuichi was losing his composure, feeling the tears choking him up. "I just wish it would all go away. I'm tired of feeling like this - insecure and worthless." The tears broke lose and he rested his head in his hands.
"Come on, freak, you know you're not worthless." Yuki stood and moved around the table, pulling Shuichi towards him. Shuichi rested his forehead against Yuki's stomach as Yuki ran his fingers through his hair. "If you want this to go away, you have to let it go... you have to trust me."
Shuichi nodded and looked up at Yuki. "I'm sorry."
"There's nothing to be sorry for. Come on, let's go for a walk or something."
"Sure." Shuichi stood and allowed himself to be pulled into Yuki's arms, accepting the chaste kiss on his lips. "Tell me we'll get through this."
"We'll get through this." Yuki released his hold and headed towards the door. "Move it brat, I need to get home in time to watch my show."
"And you say I'm the freak?"
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