Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > This darkness is everlasting
Right now, I truly feel infinite.
Have you ever seen that Deftones video, sextape? Right now that's how it feels to be me, everything's chromatic and intense and I feel like I'm in the ocean. You know when your in the sea and your not really swimming, your just kind of gliding because of the feeling of the water, so smooth against your skin. And you feel liberated and free, oh so free. My head felt light and I couldn't remember any of the thoughts that were clouding my mind earlier, they had just all melted away, thanks to Gerard and his bag of crystals.
At first I thought it was coke and freaked out and yelled and lectured Gerard on the dangers of drugs. I'm sure I had ranted for at least 15 minutes for him just to smirk at me and reply,
"It's actually crystal meth, babe."
He then went on to assure me it was pure as his dealer was a 'close friend', he then took out his wallet, opened it and made 4 straight, white lines on the leather. Before he went to snort he looked me in the eyes and he looking serious and said,
"Now don't feel pressured to do this or anything, I don't want to force you or shit, it's all your choice, I'll respect what you choose."
Now you would think that would put me off doing this even more so then I already was but no, I kind of took it as encouragement. I mean I'm sure Gerard had meant it to sound like a subtle warning but all I could hear was 'boring'. Over and over again in my head was Franks voice calling me boring and with that I told Gerard to show me how to to take crystal meth.
Back to that Deftones video, the colours, the water, the intensity. Right now Gerard and I were among a sea of people dancing, this feeling of euphoria had totally consumed me and I felt like I was dancing in the ocean, floating.
Floating under water, ever changing.
I couldn't really hear the music, not that I cared, all I could hear was ocean waves, I wondered if Gerard could hear them too. I wondered if he felt like he was dancing in the ocean and floating too.
The sound of the waves collide. The sound of the waves collide.
His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful, gliding among the other people. I couldn't really make anyone else out, all I could see were deep, dreamy rainbows all around me and people were shadows. The only people who weren't shadows were Gerard and I, it was just me and him in our own euphoric paradise.
Pictures hours out from that, into with all our dreams.
I grabbed Gerard's hand and lead him outside, we were both so light on our feet that we kept stumbling, we were giggling so hard and not paying any attention so we that we eventually tripped over each other and I had landed on him so I was kind of straddling his waist. The sound of the ocean waves were louder and there were all these rainbow lights around us and although we were still, we were floating.
"We're in the ocean Gerard, we're floating, I can hear the waves, Gerard can you hear them?,"
Gerard wrapped his arms around my waist rolled us over a couple times whilst replying,
"I hear them, so loud but yet so quiet, and the rainbows, there millions of them, so fucking beautiful. Like you."
As soon as finished his sentace I kissed him, full on and he kissed me back. I wasn't sure if it was hormones, or the drugs, or the alcohol but right now I wanted Gerard, I wanted him really bad. His lips were soft and smooth and his tongue twirled in my mouth so elegantly, he kissed me with such fiery passion. I knotted my hands in his hair and his gripped my waist with one arm and stroked my hair lightly with the other, he wasn't rough like I would have expected him to be. My mind was so clear and I just felt so alive kissing Gerard right now, our bodies were tangled together and it just felt so right, like we were one.
With me fusing all our powers.
Here we were together drifting through the sea of exhilaration, neither one of willing to stop, neither one of us willing to rise to the shore. Our hips were grinding together and were moaning out in pure lust.
The ocean takes me in to watch you shaking.
I wasn't tired and neither was Gerard, we continued making out till the deep coloured rainbows which contrasted beautifully with the raven, black night sky, changed to bright, warm coloured rainbows against the early morning skyline. Not once did we separate. Not once did we stop or let go.
I'm out of my head.
Slowly as the early morning burnt, red sky faded to orange then to blue, everything began to dull down. I gradually lost my energy, the rainbows disapeared and the water felt like it was being drained from all around me. Gerard and I pulled away from each other and he cupped my cheek with his hand and smiled.
"Is it over?" I asked him.
He didn't reply, he just kissed my lips gently and held me close, then my tiredness absorbed me and everything went black.
Take me one more time, take me one more wave, take me for one last ride.
Have you ever seen that Deftones video, sextape? Right now that's how it feels to be me, everything's chromatic and intense and I feel like I'm in the ocean. You know when your in the sea and your not really swimming, your just kind of gliding because of the feeling of the water, so smooth against your skin. And you feel liberated and free, oh so free. My head felt light and I couldn't remember any of the thoughts that were clouding my mind earlier, they had just all melted away, thanks to Gerard and his bag of crystals.
At first I thought it was coke and freaked out and yelled and lectured Gerard on the dangers of drugs. I'm sure I had ranted for at least 15 minutes for him just to smirk at me and reply,
"It's actually crystal meth, babe."
He then went on to assure me it was pure as his dealer was a 'close friend', he then took out his wallet, opened it and made 4 straight, white lines on the leather. Before he went to snort he looked me in the eyes and he looking serious and said,
"Now don't feel pressured to do this or anything, I don't want to force you or shit, it's all your choice, I'll respect what you choose."
Now you would think that would put me off doing this even more so then I already was but no, I kind of took it as encouragement. I mean I'm sure Gerard had meant it to sound like a subtle warning but all I could hear was 'boring'. Over and over again in my head was Franks voice calling me boring and with that I told Gerard to show me how to to take crystal meth.
Back to that Deftones video, the colours, the water, the intensity. Right now Gerard and I were among a sea of people dancing, this feeling of euphoria had totally consumed me and I felt like I was dancing in the ocean, floating.
Floating under water, ever changing.
I couldn't really hear the music, not that I cared, all I could hear was ocean waves, I wondered if Gerard could hear them too. I wondered if he felt like he was dancing in the ocean and floating too.
The sound of the waves collide. The sound of the waves collide.
His eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful, gliding among the other people. I couldn't really make anyone else out, all I could see were deep, dreamy rainbows all around me and people were shadows. The only people who weren't shadows were Gerard and I, it was just me and him in our own euphoric paradise.
Pictures hours out from that, into with all our dreams.
I grabbed Gerard's hand and lead him outside, we were both so light on our feet that we kept stumbling, we were giggling so hard and not paying any attention so we that we eventually tripped over each other and I had landed on him so I was kind of straddling his waist. The sound of the ocean waves were louder and there were all these rainbow lights around us and although we were still, we were floating.
"We're in the ocean Gerard, we're floating, I can hear the waves, Gerard can you hear them?,"
Gerard wrapped his arms around my waist rolled us over a couple times whilst replying,
"I hear them, so loud but yet so quiet, and the rainbows, there millions of them, so fucking beautiful. Like you."
As soon as finished his sentace I kissed him, full on and he kissed me back. I wasn't sure if it was hormones, or the drugs, or the alcohol but right now I wanted Gerard, I wanted him really bad. His lips were soft and smooth and his tongue twirled in my mouth so elegantly, he kissed me with such fiery passion. I knotted my hands in his hair and his gripped my waist with one arm and stroked my hair lightly with the other, he wasn't rough like I would have expected him to be. My mind was so clear and I just felt so alive kissing Gerard right now, our bodies were tangled together and it just felt so right, like we were one.
With me fusing all our powers.
Here we were together drifting through the sea of exhilaration, neither one of willing to stop, neither one of us willing to rise to the shore. Our hips were grinding together and were moaning out in pure lust.
The ocean takes me in to watch you shaking.
I wasn't tired and neither was Gerard, we continued making out till the deep coloured rainbows which contrasted beautifully with the raven, black night sky, changed to bright, warm coloured rainbows against the early morning skyline. Not once did we separate. Not once did we stop or let go.
I'm out of my head.
Slowly as the early morning burnt, red sky faded to orange then to blue, everything began to dull down. I gradually lost my energy, the rainbows disapeared and the water felt like it was being drained from all around me. Gerard and I pulled away from each other and he cupped my cheek with his hand and smiled.
"Is it over?" I asked him.
He didn't reply, he just kissed my lips gently and held me close, then my tiredness absorbed me and everything went black.
Take me one more time, take me one more wave, take me for one last ride.
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