FicWad

Here I sat on the fresh grass of some guys back garden still feeling the vibrations from the inside stereo blasting out the hardcore music we liked to play at parties. Although there were people drunk, making out, being sick and fucking all around me, it still felt like a moment of tranquillity. Here I was alone, nursing a rather watery beer, looking up at the stars and I had to smile because in this moment I felt at peace. We had been at this party for only half an hour or so and already I had lost everyone I had turned up with and Ray whom we had met just going in.

I began to let my mind wander back to Frank's show which was undeniably amazing. I suppose in all honesty for me, all gigs were pretty good. The music could be awful but as long as I got to jump and dance and let loose, I would enjoy myself. But the Pencey Prep show had great music and Frank's vocals were on top form and Mikey and I didn't stop moving, I had never felt so free. Even Gerard, who unless intoxicated is fairy still at gigs and Cindy spent the majority of the time jumping and moving. The show being so fun had everyone pumped for this party which is why there all off enjoying it and I'm well back to my deep thoughts. My deep thoughts consumed my brain pretty much straight after the last chord was played and so I felt I needed to detach myself from the group for a while.

The garden I was sat in was filled with a fair few people, most of whom I decided to block out. To re-enter there house there were glass French doors which were situated next to a barbecue, concrete area which also possessed a table and chairs. I 'd chosen to sit by a fairly new tool shed which was painted dark green and blended in with the dark sky rather nicely. For a couple of brief seconds I wondered what everyone else would be doing it, Gerard would be banging Cindy, Mikey and Ray would probably be drinking and catching up and Frank.. Well I wasn't really sure what he'd be up to and before I had time to ponder he appeared behind me.

"Hey you," he said sitting beside me.
"Oh, hey Frank," I replied snapping out of my daze, I then scanned his appearance over, his shirt had the top couple of buttons undone and was now creased, his hair was messy and he was sweating but overall he still looked pretty good.
"What are you doing out here on your lonesome? Mikey's been looking for you," he asked.
"I just wanted.." I began, "I just needed some air" I lied, quite dreadfully.
Frank looked into my eyes and smiled,
"You know your mouth says one thing but your eyes say another."
He continued looking into my eyes for a couple of moments after that until I snapped and told him the truth.
"Okay, okay, so I came out here to get my thoughts organised, happy?" I exploded, slightly shocking myself. Frank didn't seem shocked though, he just smirked at me. He then moved over to me and put his arm around me, he was warm and it felt nice but as usual I felt awkward.
"You know" Frank started, "Whenever anyone but Mikey touches you, you tense up. You know that?" he looked at me like he expected an answer so I simply shook my head.
"I would never want to change you Anna, believe me I wouldn't, I think your perfect but I think you need to loosen up. Go with the flow, just let go," and with that sentace he leaned in to kiss me again, I really didn't want him too as I was confused enough but I didn't want to be offending. His lips moved against mine for a few seconds and mine reluctantly moved with his. Despite not wanting it, it was still a nice kiss, soft and warm just like before. He pulled away first, probably through sensing my discomfort. I closed my eyes tightly because I thought he'd be mad but when I opened them he was smiling, that warm smile.
"You didn't want me to do that did you?"
I shook my head.
"Why?"
"I just don't know how I feel, I haven't had the chance to think about, I don't know if this is what I want or need or if it will work. I just.. I need to think," I gushed out.
Frank took his arm away from my shoulders and then began to cradle my hand like earlier and began to speak,
"I'm not going to pressure you, or tell you your wrong to want to think things over and I won't keep kissing you if it's not what you want. I like you Anna and I don't think I'll stop any time soon but that doesn't mean I won't act on impulse, you know do something because it feel's good in that moment not thinking about the consequences. You need to try doing that, not giving a fuck what happens next and just doing something because it feels good in the moment. Cos' over thinking everything like you do, makes you a little boring," said Frank snickering a little at the last bit but I was really offended.
"Did you just call me boring?" I questioned with the hardest glare I could muster.
"Yep" replied Frank walking away, "didn't realise you'd be so offended," then he re-entered the house and I was left alone again.

I began to lay down and started to gaze at the stars above me. My face must have shown the anger I felt from Frank's boring comment because Gerard joined me moments later.
"What wrong with you?" he asked plainly sitting beside me.
"Frank just called me boring," I replied in an annoyed tone, I expected hear him laugh or make a snarky comment but instead he offered me swig of vodka, which I took after realising I had absent-mindedly finished my beer.
"Although I'm not you biggest fan, I don't think your boring."
At that moment I felt a surge of confidence I'm guessing it was probably from the alcohol so I thought I'd bite the bullet ask Gerard why he didn't like me.
"Gerard, why do you hate me?" I asked, wishing I hadn't as soon as the words left my mouth.
To my surprise he look kind of shocked, "I don't hate you, I'm just not fond of you," he replied.
I before I asked him why I took in his appearance, His hair was jet black and messy as always, he was wearing all black, from t-shirt to jeans and he also wore a heavy leather jacket which completed the 'bad boy' look nicely.
"and why's that?," I questioned, curious for an answer.
"because" Gerard sighed, "Your old best friend got everyone to call me 'Frankenstein' and it's hard to be invisible when cunt's are calling you that twenty-four seven."
I grimaced at the mention of her, "she's a bitch, I'm sorry," I apologised to him.
Gerard kind of half smiled at me, "I guess it's not your fault really and yes, yes she is," He replied.
It was quiet for a few moments after that, then Gerard finally broke the silence,
"So what are you doing out here?"
"Looking at the stars" I replied, "they clear my head and there pretty, although there deceiving."
He then layed down beside me, his arm and hand slightly resting against mine,
"Your such a cliché" Gerard started, "actually no, your far from it. Your actually overly-interesting, I don't know how Frank called you boring."
"What do you mean?" I asked as I was confused.
"your just such a poet" he replied "you went through a dark patch, your quiet, I see you writing a lot, your deep in thought most the time and you sometimes speak like your in a play written by Shakespeare."
I laughed a bit at the 'Shakespeare' part and so did Gerard.
"I really don't think I am some how."
"Okay then, why are stars deceiving?" questioned Gerard.
"Well.." I started, " from far away there so beautiful and you admire them for shining so brightly and we all dream of holding one. But in reality all a star is a ball of gas held together by gravity and if you held one you'd die from the heat, what we're admiring is a ball of a gas All stars are, are balls of gas and what's so beautiful about that? "
Gerard grinned at me, "See what I mean now?"
I laughed again and so did he, we laughed for a long time probably because of the alcohol but it was a nice moment.
"I guess so.. but I'm still apparently boring," I said, remembering what Frank had said to me.
At that moment Gerard brought out a small bag of white powder from his pocket and waved it in front of my face, whilst grinning at me.
"well then" he said, "lets show him how fun you can be."