Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > Blue Hair And Paper Flowers
Six: Gunshots
0 reviewsWhile Jared nurses Rebecca back to health, Emma starts fearing she'll lose the one thing she loves the most.
0Unrated
Blam!
Blam!
Blam!
Breathing was painful, screamed across her brain. Like unheard gunshots in the night.
She felt worn. Beaten. Defeated. She had let her passion, her animal needs get the best of her. She had let it all go.
The bandages stung against her thighs, tight, stitches well secured below. She wanted to close her eyes again, the smell of hospital filled her and made her want to gag so bad, all she wanted to do was fall asleep, but an IV and oxygen fed down her throat by tubes were preventing that, somebody had decided for her, chosen life over death, chaos over peace. She moaned, decided to open her eyes. Light bit down on her retina. It hurt. It burned.
“Hey.”
A voice, a whisper. She turned her head. For now, whoever had spoken was nothing but a shadow.
She blinked.
Jared.
“How are ya?”
He smiled. She didn’t smile back. Didn’t have the force, didn’t have the energy, didn’t have the will.
He handed her a glass of water. She shook her head. Her stomach was shut. Sealed off. There was no way she could imagine food or liquids ever entering.
“He’s gone, don’t worry.”
And then his voice had cracked. Guilt seeped deep inside her bones.
“I’m sorry.”
The first word in days. She had been slipping in and out of consciousness, never saying a word. They had had to feed her intravenously. For weeks she hadn’t moved. The doctors called it choc. She called it the last stop before letting go completely. But what did letting go exactly mean?
Death, or madness?
Jared smiled, and it was a tired smile, and it was a weak one.
“It’s not your fault.”
“He would’ve never acted that way if he hadn’t met me.”
“You were just part of the equation. He would’ve gone out and looked for somebody if you hadn’t arrived. It was just a matter of time.”
He shifted in his seat, sat on the edge, perched, nervous.
She didn’t want to know where Shannon was. Most importantly, didn’t care about his wherabouts.
She didn’t care about a thing. There was nothing inside of her.
Blank.
It scared her.
It shook her.
Somehow, it comforted her.
Because feeling nothing meant never getting hurt. Ever. Again.
Jared held her as she shook, convulsed. The doctors came, gave her a shot. It calmed her down, calmed her breathing.
It was Jared who wiped every tear. It was Jared who, that night, held her so very tight.
Emma just looked from the doorway, didn’t dare enter the other girl’s room.
But every time she saw Jared’s hand linger a bit too long on Rebecca’s, her mind would scream.
And those unheard screams were like gunshots, silent gunshots in her brain.
Silent descent into deep, raging jealousy.
Because although nobody knew what she felt towards Jared, her feelings were the only things that kept her there. She would’ve left long ago.
Her hand ran under the sleeves of her shirt.
Scars.
Rebecca wasn’t the first one who had fallen into Shannon’s dark grasp. No, not at all.
Emma knew that well.
She knew it so fucking well.
Blam!
Blam!
Breathing was painful, screamed across her brain. Like unheard gunshots in the night.
She felt worn. Beaten. Defeated. She had let her passion, her animal needs get the best of her. She had let it all go.
The bandages stung against her thighs, tight, stitches well secured below. She wanted to close her eyes again, the smell of hospital filled her and made her want to gag so bad, all she wanted to do was fall asleep, but an IV and oxygen fed down her throat by tubes were preventing that, somebody had decided for her, chosen life over death, chaos over peace. She moaned, decided to open her eyes. Light bit down on her retina. It hurt. It burned.
“Hey.”
A voice, a whisper. She turned her head. For now, whoever had spoken was nothing but a shadow.
She blinked.
Jared.
“How are ya?”
He smiled. She didn’t smile back. Didn’t have the force, didn’t have the energy, didn’t have the will.
He handed her a glass of water. She shook her head. Her stomach was shut. Sealed off. There was no way she could imagine food or liquids ever entering.
“He’s gone, don’t worry.”
And then his voice had cracked. Guilt seeped deep inside her bones.
“I’m sorry.”
The first word in days. She had been slipping in and out of consciousness, never saying a word. They had had to feed her intravenously. For weeks she hadn’t moved. The doctors called it choc. She called it the last stop before letting go completely. But what did letting go exactly mean?
Death, or madness?
Jared smiled, and it was a tired smile, and it was a weak one.
“It’s not your fault.”
“He would’ve never acted that way if he hadn’t met me.”
“You were just part of the equation. He would’ve gone out and looked for somebody if you hadn’t arrived. It was just a matter of time.”
He shifted in his seat, sat on the edge, perched, nervous.
She didn’t want to know where Shannon was. Most importantly, didn’t care about his wherabouts.
She didn’t care about a thing. There was nothing inside of her.
Blank.
It scared her.
It shook her.
Somehow, it comforted her.
Because feeling nothing meant never getting hurt. Ever. Again.
Jared held her as she shook, convulsed. The doctors came, gave her a shot. It calmed her down, calmed her breathing.
It was Jared who wiped every tear. It was Jared who, that night, held her so very tight.
Emma just looked from the doorway, didn’t dare enter the other girl’s room.
But every time she saw Jared’s hand linger a bit too long on Rebecca’s, her mind would scream.
And those unheard screams were like gunshots, silent gunshots in her brain.
Silent descent into deep, raging jealousy.
Because although nobody knew what she felt towards Jared, her feelings were the only things that kept her there. She would’ve left long ago.
Her hand ran under the sleeves of her shirt.
Scars.
Rebecca wasn’t the first one who had fallen into Shannon’s dark grasp. No, not at all.
Emma knew that well.
She knew it so fucking well.
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