Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
The Life Of The Heartbroken Killjoy
1 reviewJust trying something new. Gerard loses the only thing he ever loved in the war of 2019 but is he about to get it back?
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(I've never done a killjoy story before but I wanted to give it a try. Let me know what you think please because I'm not sure whether to keep this as a one shot. Thank you for reading, sorry if it's rubbish.)
“Gerard I can’t run anymore!” she cried holding her ankle and gripping my arm for support. I hated seeing her hurt but they were gaining on us and quick. I pulled her onto my shoulder in a fireman’s lift and ran as though my life depended on it. Well actually it did. They were gaining on us.
“Just over this hill baby and we’ll be safe. I promise you” I tried reassuring her because she’d gone so quiet but it didn’t seem to work because she remained silent. I couldn’t run anymore; the sun had started to set and we needed to get back to base. I lay her on the ground slowly where she kissed me lightly before I pulled up. I smiled slowly, she always knew how to make things seem less scary for me. I looked around, I had no idea where we were but I didn’t want to admit that to her. I wanted to get her back, get her home and fix up her leg. I hated seeing her suffer. “I’m just going to go see which way back is quicker” she nodded stroking my hand softly.
“Don’t be long … I don’t like the dark” she smiled and I walked over the hill of red rock for a better view of our surroundings. It was very quiet, which was strange. We’d never left the base after dark because BL/ind did even more of their patrols then … but there was no sign of life anywhere. I searched the horizon for some sort of sign in which direction to head to be honest I had no clue, I’d have to make a very clever guess. I started to walk back slowly; something didn’t feel right. The hairs on my arms and on my neck had stood up. I ran back to where I’d left B to find she wasn’t there, there was no signs of a struggle but no signs of her either. “B?” I whispered slowly, scared to admit to myself she could have been taken. I stood very still listening for anything. Anything at all that could tell me where she was. Then I heard her struggling, kicking at the gravel, dragging her feet and trying to scream. I ran in the direction that the noises were coming from without thinking. There she was in the hands of the man himself.
“Lost something?” he smirked holding her head up by the back of her hair. Tears were running down her face and staining the red sands turning them a murky brown.
“Let her go. Just .. Please let her go” I had never once begged to him during this whole war, even when Mikey had been captured; I’d just blasted my way through. But this … this I couldn’t bare to watch.
“I don’t think I will” his free hand pulled out his gun and positioned it right beside her head “I think we’ll do it a little differently instead”. My breath caught in my throat and fear twinkled in her eyes.
“No” I started but it was too late. It all happened in slow motion: his finger squeezed tighter and tighter on the trigger. B’s eyes shone for the very last time. And her voice rang out screaming my name.
“Gerard!”
“No!”
I woke up in a puddle of sweat gripping the covers like usual. I turned my head slowly to the other half of the bed then cursed at myself for hoping she’d be lay there like she used to. I picked up the closest thing I could find and hurled it at the wall. She meant everything to me and I couldn’t save her.
“He’s up then” Mikey mumbled as I filled a mug of coffee for when he decided to show his face.
“Guessing so” his bedroom door slammed open. He’d had the dream again it was obvious. “I made you coffee” I said sliding it across the table to him. In the past he would have smiled and grabbed it then disappeared back into his room to go and wake B with it, drinking half then letting her have “the good part” as he called it. But now his eyes just lingered on the cup before he walked into the bathroom.
“Why isn’t he getting any better?” Mikey whispered watching his brother disappear.
“He lost the love of his life .. He’s grieving Mikey”
“It’s been a year” I looked at the calendar, September the 1st. Coffee had been a bad move. Today was B’s birthday … and death day. Me and Mikey sat in silence listening to the numerous smashing noises coming out of the bathroom. After what seemed a lifetime Gerard appeared looking more angry than usual.
“Were going to BL/ind” me and Mikey stared at each other then back at Gerard slowly.
“We are?” Ray murmured sleepily as he joined us “nice racket by the way Gerard” I kicked him under the table signalling to him that today wasn’t the day for it.
“Yes. Tonight”
“Gerard it isn’t going to solve anything”
“It’s going to stop the pain!” he shouted so loudly I’m surprised BL/ind didn’t come knocking on the door.
“Gerard .. It won’t”
“She died. Frank she died and we haven’t even thought back, just lived in this pit for a year” this was true but only because we couldn’t believe one of us was actually gone. There was silence for a good ten minutes before I mustered up the courage to mumble.
“Tonight?”
“Yes” Ray and Mikey let out cries that we were crazy but I understood where Gerard was coming from.
“She was my wife guys. I can’t carry on knowing the guy who killed her is still walking about up there freely … I didn’t even get to say goodbye” with this he stared at the floor and walked into his room slowly. No one knows what happened after B got shot; Gerard hadn’t come back until the next evening and when he did he was a mess. Shaking, crying and very violent. When we finally calmed him down, earning ourselves a black eye each he told us what had happened. How they’d gone out for supplies and how they’d been caught and had to run. B busted her ankle running and then they thought they were safe. We all knew up to where B had been shot … but after nobody knew. Gerard couldn’t even remember. He just says it went black. He woke up alone in the middle of know where and they’d even took B’s body so we couldn’t give her a proper send off. This had devastated Gerard because he couldn’t even go visit her. We made a grave in the back for her, filled it with some of the things we cherished from her but Gerard had never visited it. He refused to go anywhere near it. He didn’t want to let go of her yet. At night I can hear him crying, confessing his love and loneliness to her. Cursing her for leaving him and then quickly apologising not wanting to upset her. I’ve walked in on him in the morning and he’s dressed his pillow in her t-shirt just to feel closer to her but none of these things worked; they just made him worse. He was right. We had to avenge her death, this had gone on long enough. We were going to BL/ind tonight and sorting this once and for all.
I couldn’t believe we’d got in so easily. We just slipped right through the back gate. No one had even noticed, if they had they would have raised the alarm by now. But no. Nothing. Not a sound. I walked down white hallway after white hallway, it was strange seeing our faces plastered on each and every wall with big red x’s over them but then again we did had a poster of him stuck to our dart board. Gerard had been so quiet driving here and had disappeared as soon as we’d pulled up not even bothering to tell us what he was planning. But I knew where he was heading. The only man he cared about seeing tonight. The top of this company. The boss. I heard footsteps coming, heels clicking on the cold hall floors; I hide around the corner holding my breath trying not to make a noise. She walked straight past without even glancing at me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I needed to find Gerard and fast.
Frank had prepared so hard for tonight and I’d just ignored every word he had said, I didn’t care about plots and tactics. I just wanted the man dead. I wanted my wife back. I’d ran up so many stairs I’d lost count of what level I was on, I slowly sneaked into one of the hallways clutching my gun so tightly my knuckles were turning white. There was nothing I wanted more in this life right now than to kill him.
“Gerard”
Until I heard my name.
I ran into Ray and Mikey. “Dude slow down, what if we were one of them?” I shook my head panting hard. They both stared at me looking puzzled.
“B”
“Yes, that’s why you’ve brought us here. To the hell hole we’ve been trying to hide from” Ray glared at me.
“She’s here”
“Her body?”
“Well yes…. And the rest of her” they both looked as puzzled as I had felt when I’d seen her. “She’s not dead fella’s. She’s working for BL/ind”
I stared at her. She looked so real. So pretty. She’d not changed; her long brown hair still waved perfectly. Her emerald green eyes still glistened. And her smiles still sent tingles through my body. “B not now I’m busy” I knew I was going crazy now, she never appeared in the real world, just in my dreams. But here I was talking to my dead wife in the middle of a war.
“You always used to make time for me” she smiled so cutely I felt tears sting my eyes. I wanted her back so badly. “Gerard” she moved so closed to me she was almost touching. I stared at her not wanting to blink in case she vanished. “I’m real” she said pushing her very real lips against mine holding my hands in her very real hands. She was back?
We were running through the hallways, no idea what was happening but we knew it couldn’t be good. B wasn’t dead. She was here; I’d seen her with my very own eyes. Gerard was missing. B wasn’t dead. B WASN’T DEAD! “Frank if she’s working for BL/ind Gerard’s in danger” Mikey said whilst skidding around the corner heading for the next set of stairs but I’d stopped. “Frank come on!” Ray and Mikey ran back and grabbed me but I shook my head and pointed to what I’d seen. There he was. Kissing his dead wife; as though it was the most normal thing in the world.
“She really isn’t dead then” Ray said staring at her
“And she really is working for BL/ind” said Mikey looking her uniform up and down before storming through the door way pulling his gun out on her. “Get away from my brother now!” this was a mistake. Gerard threw B behind him glaring at Mikey as though he was going to kill him. “Gerard move out of the way, she’s working for them”
“I don’t care get that gun away from my wife” B’s hand was resting on Gerard’s shoulder where her ring sat firmly shining in the light. Even if she worked for them she obviously still loved Gerard to risk wearing their ring in this place. Mikey lowered his gun and B slid her hand into Gerard’s.
“I know it looks bad” she whispered Gerard just stared at her, he still wasn’t over her being real. “I … I couldn’t get out, it was easier giving in. At least this way I had a chance to survive. I just wanted to come back … I wanted to be back home with you’s but it was impossible”. There was a clapping sound coming from behind us making us all turn to see him.
“How moving, you’ve all been reunited again” Gerard pulled B behind him, obviously not prepared to lose her again. “You think that will stop me? I’m just going to kill you all”
“Sir” B started but he just glared at her
“I always knew your heart wasn’t in this company .. I saw you giving the prisoners food but I let you get away with it because you was…” he broke off not wanting to admit he had actually enjoyed B being here. Gerard looked round slowly as weighing up the options on how to escape but failing to come up with any options. B slowly reached into his holster and pulled out his gun making sure only we saw; looking round she blasted each of the lights going down the hallway and then shot the gun out of his hand pulling Gerard out of door behind us and running down the stairs for our lives. The dracs were everywhere but we just kept running dodging blast after blast and diving in the car. Gerard was pulling B by her hand who had it a lot harder than us because she was wearing heels and a pencil skirt but she still managed it. When both of them were in the car Gerard quickly sped away; the sounds of the motor and our panting were the only sounds we could here.
“Do you think were safe?” Mikey murmured slowly
“I don’t think they’re following us” I said looking out of the back window. We slowly pulled up back near the base leaving Gerard and B to put the car away.
I stared at him in silence waiting for him to speak but he wasn’t even looking at me. “G” I whispered slowly but he didn’t look up. I walked over and sat on the work bench in front of him “Gerard”. He looked down at me slowly his eyes so full of loss and sorrow.
“You made me think you were dead. You made me think you were shot”
“I was shot … they just … saved me” he didn’t answer just fixed his gaze to the floor. “I wanted to come back, I have scars from where I tried .. You have to believe me” instead of answering he forced his lips onto mine, it felt as though he was still scared I wasn’t real and he was going to lose me any minute now. We both smiled slowly.
“Your really back then?” I nodded and he kissed my forehead “lets get you home .. I want to go to bed with my wife and not a wife pillow” I looked confused but didn’t press the matter, I’m sure I’d find out soon enough.
“Gerard I can’t run anymore!” she cried holding her ankle and gripping my arm for support. I hated seeing her hurt but they were gaining on us and quick. I pulled her onto my shoulder in a fireman’s lift and ran as though my life depended on it. Well actually it did. They were gaining on us.
“Just over this hill baby and we’ll be safe. I promise you” I tried reassuring her because she’d gone so quiet but it didn’t seem to work because she remained silent. I couldn’t run anymore; the sun had started to set and we needed to get back to base. I lay her on the ground slowly where she kissed me lightly before I pulled up. I smiled slowly, she always knew how to make things seem less scary for me. I looked around, I had no idea where we were but I didn’t want to admit that to her. I wanted to get her back, get her home and fix up her leg. I hated seeing her suffer. “I’m just going to go see which way back is quicker” she nodded stroking my hand softly.
“Don’t be long … I don’t like the dark” she smiled and I walked over the hill of red rock for a better view of our surroundings. It was very quiet, which was strange. We’d never left the base after dark because BL/ind did even more of their patrols then … but there was no sign of life anywhere. I searched the horizon for some sort of sign in which direction to head to be honest I had no clue, I’d have to make a very clever guess. I started to walk back slowly; something didn’t feel right. The hairs on my arms and on my neck had stood up. I ran back to where I’d left B to find she wasn’t there, there was no signs of a struggle but no signs of her either. “B?” I whispered slowly, scared to admit to myself she could have been taken. I stood very still listening for anything. Anything at all that could tell me where she was. Then I heard her struggling, kicking at the gravel, dragging her feet and trying to scream. I ran in the direction that the noises were coming from without thinking. There she was in the hands of the man himself.
“Lost something?” he smirked holding her head up by the back of her hair. Tears were running down her face and staining the red sands turning them a murky brown.
“Let her go. Just .. Please let her go” I had never once begged to him during this whole war, even when Mikey had been captured; I’d just blasted my way through. But this … this I couldn’t bare to watch.
“I don’t think I will” his free hand pulled out his gun and positioned it right beside her head “I think we’ll do it a little differently instead”. My breath caught in my throat and fear twinkled in her eyes.
“No” I started but it was too late. It all happened in slow motion: his finger squeezed tighter and tighter on the trigger. B’s eyes shone for the very last time. And her voice rang out screaming my name.
“Gerard!”
“No!”
I woke up in a puddle of sweat gripping the covers like usual. I turned my head slowly to the other half of the bed then cursed at myself for hoping she’d be lay there like she used to. I picked up the closest thing I could find and hurled it at the wall. She meant everything to me and I couldn’t save her.
“He’s up then” Mikey mumbled as I filled a mug of coffee for when he decided to show his face.
“Guessing so” his bedroom door slammed open. He’d had the dream again it was obvious. “I made you coffee” I said sliding it across the table to him. In the past he would have smiled and grabbed it then disappeared back into his room to go and wake B with it, drinking half then letting her have “the good part” as he called it. But now his eyes just lingered on the cup before he walked into the bathroom.
“Why isn’t he getting any better?” Mikey whispered watching his brother disappear.
“He lost the love of his life .. He’s grieving Mikey”
“It’s been a year” I looked at the calendar, September the 1st. Coffee had been a bad move. Today was B’s birthday … and death day. Me and Mikey sat in silence listening to the numerous smashing noises coming out of the bathroom. After what seemed a lifetime Gerard appeared looking more angry than usual.
“Were going to BL/ind” me and Mikey stared at each other then back at Gerard slowly.
“We are?” Ray murmured sleepily as he joined us “nice racket by the way Gerard” I kicked him under the table signalling to him that today wasn’t the day for it.
“Yes. Tonight”
“Gerard it isn’t going to solve anything”
“It’s going to stop the pain!” he shouted so loudly I’m surprised BL/ind didn’t come knocking on the door.
“Gerard .. It won’t”
“She died. Frank she died and we haven’t even thought back, just lived in this pit for a year” this was true but only because we couldn’t believe one of us was actually gone. There was silence for a good ten minutes before I mustered up the courage to mumble.
“Tonight?”
“Yes” Ray and Mikey let out cries that we were crazy but I understood where Gerard was coming from.
“She was my wife guys. I can’t carry on knowing the guy who killed her is still walking about up there freely … I didn’t even get to say goodbye” with this he stared at the floor and walked into his room slowly. No one knows what happened after B got shot; Gerard hadn’t come back until the next evening and when he did he was a mess. Shaking, crying and very violent. When we finally calmed him down, earning ourselves a black eye each he told us what had happened. How they’d gone out for supplies and how they’d been caught and had to run. B busted her ankle running and then they thought they were safe. We all knew up to where B had been shot … but after nobody knew. Gerard couldn’t even remember. He just says it went black. He woke up alone in the middle of know where and they’d even took B’s body so we couldn’t give her a proper send off. This had devastated Gerard because he couldn’t even go visit her. We made a grave in the back for her, filled it with some of the things we cherished from her but Gerard had never visited it. He refused to go anywhere near it. He didn’t want to let go of her yet. At night I can hear him crying, confessing his love and loneliness to her. Cursing her for leaving him and then quickly apologising not wanting to upset her. I’ve walked in on him in the morning and he’s dressed his pillow in her t-shirt just to feel closer to her but none of these things worked; they just made him worse. He was right. We had to avenge her death, this had gone on long enough. We were going to BL/ind tonight and sorting this once and for all.
I couldn’t believe we’d got in so easily. We just slipped right through the back gate. No one had even noticed, if they had they would have raised the alarm by now. But no. Nothing. Not a sound. I walked down white hallway after white hallway, it was strange seeing our faces plastered on each and every wall with big red x’s over them but then again we did had a poster of him stuck to our dart board. Gerard had been so quiet driving here and had disappeared as soon as we’d pulled up not even bothering to tell us what he was planning. But I knew where he was heading. The only man he cared about seeing tonight. The top of this company. The boss. I heard footsteps coming, heels clicking on the cold hall floors; I hide around the corner holding my breath trying not to make a noise. She walked straight past without even glancing at me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I needed to find Gerard and fast.
Frank had prepared so hard for tonight and I’d just ignored every word he had said, I didn’t care about plots and tactics. I just wanted the man dead. I wanted my wife back. I’d ran up so many stairs I’d lost count of what level I was on, I slowly sneaked into one of the hallways clutching my gun so tightly my knuckles were turning white. There was nothing I wanted more in this life right now than to kill him.
“Gerard”
Until I heard my name.
I ran into Ray and Mikey. “Dude slow down, what if we were one of them?” I shook my head panting hard. They both stared at me looking puzzled.
“B”
“Yes, that’s why you’ve brought us here. To the hell hole we’ve been trying to hide from” Ray glared at me.
“She’s here”
“Her body?”
“Well yes…. And the rest of her” they both looked as puzzled as I had felt when I’d seen her. “She’s not dead fella’s. She’s working for BL/ind”
I stared at her. She looked so real. So pretty. She’d not changed; her long brown hair still waved perfectly. Her emerald green eyes still glistened. And her smiles still sent tingles through my body. “B not now I’m busy” I knew I was going crazy now, she never appeared in the real world, just in my dreams. But here I was talking to my dead wife in the middle of a war.
“You always used to make time for me” she smiled so cutely I felt tears sting my eyes. I wanted her back so badly. “Gerard” she moved so closed to me she was almost touching. I stared at her not wanting to blink in case she vanished. “I’m real” she said pushing her very real lips against mine holding my hands in her very real hands. She was back?
We were running through the hallways, no idea what was happening but we knew it couldn’t be good. B wasn’t dead. She was here; I’d seen her with my very own eyes. Gerard was missing. B wasn’t dead. B WASN’T DEAD! “Frank if she’s working for BL/ind Gerard’s in danger” Mikey said whilst skidding around the corner heading for the next set of stairs but I’d stopped. “Frank come on!” Ray and Mikey ran back and grabbed me but I shook my head and pointed to what I’d seen. There he was. Kissing his dead wife; as though it was the most normal thing in the world.
“She really isn’t dead then” Ray said staring at her
“And she really is working for BL/ind” said Mikey looking her uniform up and down before storming through the door way pulling his gun out on her. “Get away from my brother now!” this was a mistake. Gerard threw B behind him glaring at Mikey as though he was going to kill him. “Gerard move out of the way, she’s working for them”
“I don’t care get that gun away from my wife” B’s hand was resting on Gerard’s shoulder where her ring sat firmly shining in the light. Even if she worked for them she obviously still loved Gerard to risk wearing their ring in this place. Mikey lowered his gun and B slid her hand into Gerard’s.
“I know it looks bad” she whispered Gerard just stared at her, he still wasn’t over her being real. “I … I couldn’t get out, it was easier giving in. At least this way I had a chance to survive. I just wanted to come back … I wanted to be back home with you’s but it was impossible”. There was a clapping sound coming from behind us making us all turn to see him.
“How moving, you’ve all been reunited again” Gerard pulled B behind him, obviously not prepared to lose her again. “You think that will stop me? I’m just going to kill you all”
“Sir” B started but he just glared at her
“I always knew your heart wasn’t in this company .. I saw you giving the prisoners food but I let you get away with it because you was…” he broke off not wanting to admit he had actually enjoyed B being here. Gerard looked round slowly as weighing up the options on how to escape but failing to come up with any options. B slowly reached into his holster and pulled out his gun making sure only we saw; looking round she blasted each of the lights going down the hallway and then shot the gun out of his hand pulling Gerard out of door behind us and running down the stairs for our lives. The dracs were everywhere but we just kept running dodging blast after blast and diving in the car. Gerard was pulling B by her hand who had it a lot harder than us because she was wearing heels and a pencil skirt but she still managed it. When both of them were in the car Gerard quickly sped away; the sounds of the motor and our panting were the only sounds we could here.
“Do you think were safe?” Mikey murmured slowly
“I don’t think they’re following us” I said looking out of the back window. We slowly pulled up back near the base leaving Gerard and B to put the car away.
I stared at him in silence waiting for him to speak but he wasn’t even looking at me. “G” I whispered slowly but he didn’t look up. I walked over and sat on the work bench in front of him “Gerard”. He looked down at me slowly his eyes so full of loss and sorrow.
“You made me think you were dead. You made me think you were shot”
“I was shot … they just … saved me” he didn’t answer just fixed his gaze to the floor. “I wanted to come back, I have scars from where I tried .. You have to believe me” instead of answering he forced his lips onto mine, it felt as though he was still scared I wasn’t real and he was going to lose me any minute now. We both smiled slowly.
“Your really back then?” I nodded and he kissed my forehead “lets get you home .. I want to go to bed with my wife and not a wife pillow” I looked confused but didn’t press the matter, I’m sure I’d find out soon enough.
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