Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Forever and Ever

Until Now

by MCArmyWife 6 reviews

Jacob opens up to Gerard.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: R - Genres: Fantasy,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2011-03-27 - Updated: 2011-03-27 - 3653 words

Gerard flinched when Jacob pushed back from the table and stood.

“Walk with me.” He commanded.

As he stood to follow the Pure Gerard felt his legs slightly shaking. He realized he’d angered Jacob to an extent he was unsure what the Pure planned to do. They left the dining room and headed down a long hallway. Jacob pushed open a door and as Gerard followed him inside the room he saw floor to ceiling bookshelves and knew he was in Jacob’s private study.

“Sit.” Jacob barked as he rounded the desk and took a seat.

Gerard lowered himself into the chair before the desk while remaining silent.

“You have no idea how angry I am at this moment.” Jacob ground out.

“Uh, yeah I really do.” Gerard said softly. He saw the Jacob’s fangs were extended matching the almost wild look in his eyes. “And I’m sorry.”

“Never has anyone dared to speak to me like you have done.”

Gerard sat up taller in his chair and gathered his strength, “I’ve got great respect for you Jacob what I said wasn’t done to hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” Jacob spat. “Mortal you can not hurt me.”

“That’s not exactly true. If I hurt Anna it would hurt you.”

Once again Gerard flinched as Jacob’s eyes flashed. “If you were to hurt her I would simply kill you.”

“But that wouldn’t change anything.” Gerard said softly. “And I don’t think you could live with that.”

“You are so naive, mortal. I have lived so many lives you can not begin to comprehend what I can and can not do.”

Gerard’s anger flared, “This conversation is pointless, I can see that now. You’re arrogance makes it pointless.”

“Arrogance?” Jacob sputtered. “You think I am arrogant?”

“Yeah.” Gerard nodded. “I am a Pure. I have lived forever. I know everything.” He mocked.

Jacob slammed his fist on the deck. “Shut the hell up.”

Gerard blinked then suddenly a small smile tugged at his lips. “Wow, I’ve really struck a nerve.”

For a moment Jacob stared at him then slowly he reached down and pulled open the bottom desk drawer. Gerard watched as he lifted out a bottle and small glass. He noticed Jacob’s hands shook slightly as he poured the liquid into the glass then took a long deep sip. Gerard realized Jacob was using the drink to help control his anger just as he’d seen Anna do. Fear knotted his stomach as he realized Jacob was doing it to control his blood lust. After he finished the drink he sat back and pulled out another bottle and small glass. Gerard recognized the label of the high-end whiskey.

“Here.” Jacob said sliding the glass towards Gerard.

Slowly Gerard leaned forward and took the glass. “Thanks.” He did need a drink and was grateful he was no longer an alcoholic. The whiskey was smooth as it went down.

Jacob sat back in his chair feeling the synthetic blood slowly cooling his anger. He closed his eyes a moment then sighed, “So tell me how you came to this preposterous conclusion.”

Gerard took another sip of his drink giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts. “You admitted to her you love her more than the love of a Maker for his child.” He reminded him softly then paused. “Can I ask you a question?”

“I asked you a question.” Jacob retorted. “That is the only reason you believe I am wrong?”

“I know you asked a question but this involves my answer.”

Jacob sighed, “What is it you want to know now?”

“You told Anna it was possible for her to find her soul mate, didn’t you?”

“Sadly, yes.” Jacob nodded, “I should never have filled her head with such nonsense.”

“Why did you then?”

“She was so unhappy.” Jacob said softly letting his memories return to that place in time. “She missed her family, the love she felt for them still burned strong. I wanted to give her hope.”

“A reason to go on?” Gerard guessed.

“Yes.” Jacob whispered, “That is what I wanted.”

“But you didn’t lie to her. You believed it was possible, didn’t you?”

“Most Pures believe it is simply a myth.” Jacob answered skirting the question.

Gerard realized what he was doing, “I didn’t ask what most Pures believe I asked what you believe.”

“I believe it is possible. However, I never considered the possibility she would find a mortal she believed was her soul mate.”

“You thought she would find a Healer she could spend eternity with?”

Jacob nodded.

“Was your soul mate a Healer?” Gerard asked softly bracing himself once again for Jacob’s fury.

For a moment Jacob stared but then suddenly looked away. “I was such a fool. I should have realized this could happen.”

Gerard was confused, “What should you have realized?”

“That she could find a mortal who was her soul mate.” He said looking down, “Just as I had.”

Digesting that bit of information a moment Gerard asked “Please tell me about her.” He hoped Jacob would open up.

“Why?” Jacob challenged, “What difference could it make?”

“Because I care.” Gerard answered honestly.

Jacob frowned, “Why”

Gerard smiled, ‘Because I’m human and I care about other’s feelings.”

It was on his lips to deny he felt the same but he stopped himself from speaking the lie. “Judith’s beauty was breathtaking.” Jacob said softly as the memories flood back to him. “Long blond hair and eyes the color of sapphires. I had walked this earth for centuries when I met her, never before feeling the deep emotions she evoked in me. I looked into her eyes and it was if I had found a part of myself that had been missing. She was the daughter of a shipping magnate from London whom I had business with at that time.”

Jacob had closed his eyes and fell silent. Gerard wanted him to continue.

“Did she realize you were different?”

“Not at first.” Jacob answered, “I saw her for months but as we grew closer I knew I had to reveal the truth.”

Judging by the look on despair on Jacob’s face Gerard guessed she had not taken the news well. “You didn’t blood bond her to you?”

“No, I would not have done that. I loved her and I wanted her to love me in the same fashion.”

“So you told her?”

Jacob began to answer but then hesitated, “Gerard there is something you must know. Just because you find the one you believe to be your soul mate does not mean that person is the kind of person you wish them to be.”

“I don’t get it.” Gerard frowned.

“She was beautiful to gaze upon and I believed she was the same in her heart. But her heart was not beautiful, it contained many evil traits. I did not realize until too late her true nature.”

“I’m sorry.”

Jacob smiled sadly, “Thank you for that.”

“So what happened?” Gerard asked.

It surprised Jacob to realize what he had kept locked in his soul for so long was being released and it felt right. “Sadly before I realized the truth about her I had revealed the truth about myself.”

“She thought you were evil?”

“On the contrary. She was drawn to me even more. My power over humans drew her in, she wanted that same power.”

“She wanted you to turn her?”

Taking the whiskey bottle that was still on the deck Jacob poured himself a drink then refilled Gerard’s glass. Once he had taken a long swallow he spoke again. “Yes, she wanted to be a Healer but I knew in my heart she only wanted the power it would give her over humans. She lusted for that power.”

“What did you do?”

“I told her I could bind her to me but that was not enough for her. She told me she did not want to be bound as a servant to me. She said if I truly loved her I would want her to be at my side for eternity.” Jacob shook his head, “We can rule together forever, she said.”

“Shit.” Gerard muttered.

“I knew then her lust for power was stronger than any love she felt for me. But that is not why I refused her. I knew in my heart that if she were to obtain the gifts of a Healer she would not use them for good. She simply wanted the power. She wanted the immortality.”

Gerard took a drink while considering Jacob’s words. “So you denied her, you wouldn’t turn her. She was angry?”

“Oh yes. Her hatred was strong and deep. She told me that if I would not turn her she would find another Healer who would do as she asked.”

“But you stopped her, right? I mean you couldn’t just let someone like that know about the Healer world. Did you erase her memories?”

Jacob’s voice shook, “It was of course my duty to purge any memories of Healers from her mind. She was not worthy to know of our existence.”

Looking over the rim of his glass Gerard watched the Pure closely. He took a drink then lowered his glass, “But you didn’t, did you?”

“I could not stop loving her.” Jacob whispered. He sat back and closed his eyes, “I failed my kind. When she stood before me crying, begging me not to erase her memories I paused. She knew what I was about to do so she begged claiming her love for me was strong. She promised to remain at my side, as a human. I allowed myself to believe her lies, I wanted to believe them.” He added brokenly, “I needed to believe them.”

“Jacob, I’m sorry.”

“Do not waste compassion on me, I am not worthy.” He took another swallow of the liquor. “I am a Pure, to me was given a great power and while some think it is a gift it has become a curse.”

Gerard sat lost in thought for several minutes considering what Jacob had revealed. “You believe as a Pure you failed to do what was expected of you, right?”

“I did fail.” Jacob said in a firm tone.

“Okay let me ask you something. I get that you’ve one of the oldest Pures, right?”

Jacob nodded tiredly.

“So how many Pures do you know that are your age?”

It has hard for Jacob not to smile slightly, “My age?”

‘You know what I mean. Hudson is old but is he as old as you?”

“No, I only know of a very few who have been in existence as long as I.”

Gerard nodded, “Okay, you know of them but do you actually know them?”

“I really can not see why this is of importance.” Jacob sighed.

“Just bear with me a minute.”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed, “I have been bearing with you since we sat down.”

“Yeah, I know.” Gerard smiled.

“I have only met two Pure that is older than myself.” Jacob revealed “One is a Pure named Elizabeth but she rarely is seen by the Healer world. The last I heard of her she was living somewhere in Asia. The other Pure, known to all the Healer world as His Excellence, is rarely seen but he is accepted as our supreme leader. His word is our law.”

“So are most of the Pures you know much younger than yourself?”

“Yes.” Jacob nodded. “While still considered old they are not nearly as old as I.”

Gerard took another sip of his drink than sat back. He thought a moment then asked, “How do Pures learn the rules of the Healer world?”

The question caused a look of surprise to cover Jacob’s face, “I am not sure what you mean.”

“I guess what I mean is how do you know Healers aren’t supposed to feel real emotions for mortals?”

“Healers are born not feeling those emotions.”

“Are you sure?” Gerard challenged. “I mean are you really sure that’s how it is or at some point in history when things between the mortals and immortals changed was that they way it was supposed to be.”

Jacob sighed, “You just do not understand. Healers truly do not feel most human emotions.”

“But Healers feel anger and jealousy. That I do know for a fact.” He paused then added softly, “And some of you feel love.”

“You are correct we do feel anger and jealousy. It would seem we have been given the ability to feel bad emotions. Perhaps from the beginning we were created to be evil, a blight on mankind.”

“Bullshit.” Gerard said hotly, “I don’t believe that shit for a minute. But I can understand feeling that way because mortals tried to make your kind into something evil. I can understand wanting to release the anger and hurt Healers feel. Healers are in many ways superior to us, I get that. But they were victimized through out history, made into something evil. Why then isn’t it possible that over time Healers chose to bury any good emotions they felt for us?”

Jacob considered Gerard’s words. “You are purposing that once upon a time Healers felt all the emotions held by mortals?”

Gerard nodded.

“I can not say if your theory is valid because the truth is I do not know. When I was born my kind was already considered evil by mortals. I was taught our ways by a Pure who himself had been almost destroyed by a mortal.” He saw the surprise on Gerard’s face and explained, “Over the centuries my kind has been hunted, you must have realized that.”

“Fuck, I never really thought about that.” Gerard admitted. “But now that I think about it, yeah I should have guessed that’s happened.”

Jacob shook his head sadly, “Gerard none of this really matters. Even if what you purpose was true it does not change anything. The world we live in today is all that matters and in this world Healers do not feel compassion or love for mortals unless they are blood bound to them.”

“And if they do then they are considered wrong.” Gerard said sadly.

“That is correct. To act or feel any other way is considered to be in direct violation of our code.”

Gerard stood slowly and began to pace while thinking. After a few minutes he turned back to face Jacob, “I have to ask, do you think you are wrong?”

“I am wrong.” Jacob answered in a flat tone of voice. “I have always known that fact to be true yet I have always hidden that fact. I must continue to hide that fact not for myself but for Annabelle.” He smiled sadly, “And for those who belong to her.”

“Because you fear they would try to destroy her?”

“Only once has a Pure been destroyed by our kind. He broke our code by allowing mortals to know of his true nature. Those he had turned were also destroyed. You see Gerard if it was learned I am wrong Annabelle would be destroyed and sadly I believe they would also seek to harm those bound to her.”

“Me and Claire.” Gerard said softly.

“There is another, is there not?” Jacob reminded him.

“Oh yeah, Christa.” He walked back over and fell into his seat.

Jacob needed him to understand the gravity of the situation, “Those who have Annabelle’s blood running through their veins would be considered a liability.” He added with a slight tremor in his voice, “That would include the child Claire now carries.”

“Fuck, they’d go after a baby?”

“Yes. The child would also be at risk.” Jacob answered, “You see Gerard it is I who have but so many in jeopardy. Had I simply admitted by fault instead of hiding it this would not be an issue.”

“You can’t think like that.” Gerard said passionately, “If you had then you wouldn’t have been these for Anna.”

“But it is because I am wrong, that she too carries that curse.”

“It’s not a curse.” Gerard answered shaking his head, “I don’t give a shit about what the fuckin’ Healers think. The way I look at you and Anna are superior to those Healers who can’t or won’t feel human emotions.”

Jacob smiled sadly, “I am pleased you feel that way but it changes nothing. As I said to the Healer world we are wrong. To survive Annabelle and I must continue to hide our true selves. There is no other way. We must appear at all times to be strong and in control and never let our weaknesses be seen. We must abide by the code of the Healers at all times.”

Once more silence feel on the room as both men became lost in thought. Finally Gerard spoke.

“Jacob why did you turn Anna? I mean I know you feel compassion for humans but all that time you’d never turned anyone else. You’d seen countless humans die and yet you saved her.”

“Even battered and bruised she was so beautiful.” Jacob whispered remembering that night so long ago. “My first thought was simply to punish the man I saw abusing her but when I looked upon her frail body my heart broke. When, near death, she cried out to her mother I simply could not bear it. I wanted to give her life.”

“That’s what you did.” Gerard said softly.

“But until you came into her life it was not one she wanted.”

“I promise to always try my fuckin’ hardest to make her happy.” Gerard said with deep emotion lacing his words. “But I need your help to do that.”

Jacob nodded slightly, “I will go before the council and speak on your behalf. I know Hudson will do the same. It is my hope they will allow her to marry you. But you do realize that if she is granted permission that when it is time she will be forced to appear to leave your side.”

“She’s told me how deaths are faked.” Gerard nodded.

“Yes and if you are still in the public eye at that time I am sure that is how the council will want it to appear. That will of course make it more difficult for you to still be with her.”

Gerard had other thoughts in his mind but now was not the time to give them voice. “At this moment in time I just want us to be together.”

“And still there is another worry.” Jacob reminded him, “There is someone who seeks to ruin your happiness.”

“But are they doing that to hurt you or Anna?”

“I fear it is I they seek to hurt.” Jacob admitted. “Annabelle is simply a pawn. My love for her as her Maker is what they seek to use against me but as to why I truly have no idea.” He shook his head sadly, “But I will admit to you Gerard I fear for the safety of you and Annabelle.” He stood, “Now let us go. I am sure Annabelle has returned and is by now fretting your absence.”

Gerard laughed, “She’d really be fretting if she knew how much I’d pissed you off earlier.”

“Yes.” Jacob said dryly, “That you most certainly did. Just remember that what we have spoken of must remain between us.”

“She doesn’t know about you.” Gerard said more to himself than Jacob.

“No she does not and I wish for it to remain so.”

Gerard thought to argue the point but judging by the look on Jacob’s face he chose to let that matter drop for now. He knew Jacob had opened up to him and out of respect he did not want to push him any further right now. As both men started for the door Gerard suddenly stopped.

“What happened to her?”

Jacob looked puzzled a moment then understood. “She promised to stay at my side but it was a lie. We we’re to be married but told her father she had changed her mind. By the time I leaned of her decision she had left England.”

Gerard gave him a shocked look, “She just took off and you didn’t try to find her?”

“She did not love me.” Jacob responded in a flat, lifeless tone.

“Yeah but she knew the truth about Healers.” Gerard said hoping his words wouldn’t anger Jacob.

“I told you I failed my duty.” Jacob reminded him shortly as he reached for the door knob.

“Wait.” Gerard moved to stop him, “You said yourself she was angry you wouldn’t turn her and she had said she’d find someone else who would. Shit, Jacob maybe she did.”

Jacob’s face showed shock, “No, it is not possible. Several years later I was told of her death by a mutual acquaintance.”

“But you don’t really know if it was true?”

Jacob’s arm fell to his side as the meaning of Gerard’s words came into focus. “You are saying you believe she may have made good on her threat? That she did not die but was turned?”

The pain on Jacob’s face made Gerard try to soften his words, “I’m just saying that it’s possible and if she did her anger towards you…”

Jacob cut him off, “That was so long ago why would she not have made her presence known to me before?”

“Anna.” Gerard said softly, “You did for Anna what you would not do for her.”
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