FicWad

Gerard had met an actual vampire.

He was walking home from Ray's house- they had an epic Batman movie marathon- at like midnight and he got lost and ended up on ome backstreet. And there was this guy, all short and tattooed, totally drinking this chick's blood.

Gerard had just stared and then told the vampire, very stupidly, that, "Whoa, you're a vampire."

The vampire just dropped the chick and stared back.

"That's hot," Gerard said, finally.

"What the fuck, Paris Hilton?" the vampire said. "And what the fuck emo kid?"

"I'm not emo," Gerard said, kind of annoyed.

"You're wearing make up, and I think you're a dude," the vampire said.

"Yeah I'm a dude!" Gerard said angrily.

The vampire just laughed. "O-kay."

"So...how did you become a vampire?" Gerard asked.

And just like that, the vampire lost his happy attitude. "Doesn't matter," he said.

"But I want to know!" Gerard said.

"Being a vampire is really not as cool as you think," the vampire said. "Please don't make this into Twilight."

"Can vampires have sex?" Gerard asked.

"Oh my god," the vampire said. "Seriously? Are you retarded? Don't you get that I'm some kind of monster?"

"You're hot," Gerard said.

The vampire shook his head and started to walk away. Gerard followed him.

"Dude, I am going to bite you if you keep following me," the vampire said.

"Okay," Gerard said, smiling.

The vampire looked exasperated. "TV has ruined you." Gerard didn't argue it.

"What's your name?" Gerard asked.

"What?" the vampire seemed shocked. "Uh. Frankie. I'm Frankie." He grinned after he said it.

"I'm Gerard," he told him. "Will you have sex with me?"

Frankie glared at him. "Oh my fucking god. Go away!"

But then Gerard ended up following him the rest of the night and even found out where he lived.





The thing is, though, that Mikey doesn't believe him.

"Gee, vampires don't exist," he said, rubbing his eyes. "They. Are. Not. Real."

"Yeah they are! I met him and his name is Frankie and he's really hot and he's a vampire!" Gerard said excitedly.

"Ugh, Gerard. Go to sleep. Vampires don't exist. Go get me some coffee," Mikey said.

Gerard went and got him some coffee.

"So I can show you the vampire. If you don't believe me. I followed him home," Gerard said.

"You followed him home? Way to be a stalker," Mikey said, taking a sip of his coffee. "But okay. I'll meet him."





Mikey is used to Gerard being a little special, but that doesn't mean he still doesn't find some of it funny. Pete, who is Mikey's boyfriend, is also used to Gerard being special, and he really finds the stories funny.

"Oh my god, you'll never believe what Gerard told me today!" Mikey said into his cell phone.

"What?" Pete asked.

"Apparently, he thinks he met a vampire. And he stalked the poor guy all night and found out where he lives!" Mikey said.

"For real?" Pete asked, laughing. "What the hell?"

"I know! So I'm going with him to meet this guy tonight, mostly to apologize and somehow convince Gee that he's not a vampire," Mikey
said.

"I am sorry you have such a strange brother," Pete said. "So I guess this means you can't come over tonight?"

"Nope, sorry. I have to go meet a vampire!" Mikey said in a psuedo-excited voice.

"Your brother is ruining your sex life. You should kick him out," Pete said.

"Right. Because I want him to be sent away to some creepy ass mental hospital? No thanks," Mikey said.

"He'd probably like it. He could pretend he was in a comic book," Pete said.

Mikey just rolled his eyes, even though Pete couldn't see it.






Gerard had decided that Mikey, despite previous actions, was not a good brother. He was a treacherous unicorn killer.

"I am so sorry my brother is stalking you and thinks you're a vampire! I think mom dropped him on his head or something as a baby. I am so sorry!" Mikey said to Frankie as soon as Frankie stumbled out of his house after sundown.

"Yeah, he seems a little...different," Frankie said. "I'm sorry you're related to him."

Gerard's face fell. "You are a liar! You're a vampire! Tell him, please!"

Frankie just smiled and shook his head.

"Mikey! You have to believe me!" Gerard said.

"I'm sorry, Gee, but he's not a vampire. They don't exist," Mikey said, sounding genuinely apologetic.

Gerard turned to Frankie with his cutest and saddest pout and begged, "Frankie! Please tell my brother I'm not crazy! Please."

"I don't think you're crazy, Gerard," Mikey said. "Come on, let's go. Leave this guy alone."

"Please," Gerard pleaded as Mikey tried to drag him away. "Please."

"Wait," Frankie said, hesitantly. "I, uh. Well. I actually am a vampire."

"Seriously?" Mikey demanded, letting go of Gerard's arm.

Frankie showed them his fangs.

"Oh," Mikey said, awe in his voice. "Sweet."








There is only one person in the world that Pete is better friends with than Mikey. That person is Patrick. Patrick is Pete's very best friend.

They even share an apartment.

So when Pete has a good Gerard story, he always tells Patrick.

"So, Patrick, Mikey told me a new Gerard story today," Pete said, sitting at the table next to Patrick, who was trying to edit a song on his Macbook.

"I'm busy," Patrick said, but he knew that Pete didn't care.

"Apparently Gerard thinks he met a vampire and is like stalking him," Pete said.

Patrick looked up, suddenly interested, and Pete was really surprised. And worried because Patrick looked worried.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Pete asked.

"Pete. Uh. Vampires are actually real," Patrick said quietly.

"Seriously?" Pete demanded. "Well...it's Gerard, it could still be a fake."

"Still," Patrick said. "Tell Mikey to keep an eye on Gerard. Make sure he wasn't turned."

"Oh," Pete said. "Um. Shit. Mikey said he was going with Gerard tonight to meet the vampire. Is this a bad thing?"

"Duh?" Patrick said. "Pete. Seriously."

"What do I do? Patrick! What if he's a real vampire? If he had bitten Gerard, wouldn't he know?" Pete asked.

"He probably is just waiting. I don't know. Still. If Gerard and Mikey end up alright tonight, Gerard will still probably follow the vampire. If Gerard is killed, Mikey will be upset. If Gerard is turned, Mikey could end up dead," Patrick said.

"Vampires would kill their own brother?" Pete demanded.

"It could happen," Patrick said, nodding.

Suddenly Pete's cell phone started ringing. The caller ID showed Mikey. "He's still alive!" Pete said, relieved, before accepting the call.

"Mikey!" Pete said.

"Hey," Mikey said. "Uh. Please don't think I'm crazy. But you know that vampire Gerard met? He's seriously a vampire."

"Oh," Pete said. "Um."

"But it's cool. He's nice. Even though he doesn't really like Gerard stalking him and trying to have sex with him all the time. My brother's so weird, you know? And I guess he has a vampire kink? Something I could have gone without knowing. But it's no big deal. This is actually just kind of awesome," Mikey said.

"Uh. Maybe. I mean. How do you know that he won't like kill you?" Pete asked. Patrick's eyes widened.

"I figure if he was going to, he'd do it already, right? I mean, he seems nice. I don't think he'd kill us. Even if Gerard is annoying. Besides, he's kind of adorable. Really short. Like. Shorter than you, I think," Mikey said cheerfully. "It's pretty cool. Anyway. I'm totally exhausted, I'm going to sleep. Talk to you later."

"Bye," Pete said.

"Bye. Love you," Mikey said, and then hung up.

"Shit," Pete said, putting his phone down.

"Oh no," Patrick said.

"So he's definitely a real vampire. I guess he hasn't like done anything to either of them yet, but it's very likely Gerard is still going to be all stalking him. What do I do, 'Trick?" Pete asked worriedly. "I don't want anything to happen to Mikey!"

"Don't worry. Just find out where the vampire lives. We can kill him," Patrick said.

"Whoa," Pete said, sounding a little hesitant. After a minute he said, quietly, "Okay."






Gerard continued to hang out with Frankie every night. (Mikey said it was stalking, but it wasn't! Frankie didn't mind that much!) Mostly Gerard just tried to get him to have sex with him, bite him, or turn him, but occasionally they talked about things, like Frankie's tattoos and Gerard's vampire obsession.

This night, however, Frankie was wearing a Batman shirt. Which made Frankie cool not even just because he was a vampire, but because he liked Batman

"Hey, you like Batman?" Gerard asked as soon as he saw Frankie.

Frankie grinned. "Yes! I love comic books."

Gerard was going to marry him. There was no doubt about it.

And now they started talking about comic books and eventually they were talking about music and Gerard was actually pretty sure he would like him even if he wasn't a vampire.






Pete thought it would be a lot easier to follow Gerard then it was. Gerard just seemed to disappear into the shadows, or wander into some weird backstreets, and Pete would lose him. And he could only follow him some nights because even if he was concerned about Mikey's life, he was not going to give up having sex with him.

Eventually, he decided just to tell Mikey and have him help. It would be better if Mikey knew the danger, anyway.

"Mikey," Pete said one night when they were just watching TV. "So, like, Patrick says vampires are really dangerous."

"Oh," Mikey said, sounding confused. "But Frankie- he's the vampire- he's really sweet and funny and Gerard just loves him."

"But Patrick said vampires are cruel enough that they could kill their own brother! So if Gerard was turned, he might...you know," Pete said and added in almost a whisper, "Kill you."

"Oh," Mikey said again. "But I can't tell Gee that. It would break his heart..."

Pete thought about it. "Patrick says we should go kill the vampire. You could just tell Gerard something about reading somewhere that vampires have to leave constantly like without warning to avoid getting caught. That way he would never have to know."

"Okay," Mikey said quietly.

"I need to know where the vampire lives," Pete said.

Mikey sighed. "Alright, come with me."






"You know, Mikey, Frankie likes comic books. He likes Batman! He likes good music. He's really cute," Gerard told Mikey happily the next afternoon.

"Uh huh," Mikey said, feeling sick to his stomach.

"I...I really think I love him. Like, him. Not just cause he's a vampire, either," Gerard said, smiling blissfully.

And Mikey couldn't take it. The guilt was killing him. "Gee, um. I have something to tell you."

Gerard's face fell. "What?"

"Okay. Well. Pete told me that Patrick says vampires are incredibly dangerous. So I kind of told him where Frankie lives. They're going to kill him," Mikey said, knowing he was the worst brother in the entire world. "Maybe they already have. I'm so sorry, Gee."

"Oh no," Gerard said. "No. No no no no no. Mikey. Come on. We have to go protect him, if we can."

"What?" Mikey said.

"We have to protect him," Gerard said. "He doesn't even ever kill, Mikey. Ever. He's a good vampire."

And Mikey couldn't say no.






Mikey and Gerard ended up sitting on Frankie's porch for about an hour before Pete and Patrick showed up.

Patrick glared at them. "What the fuck, Mikey? You told Gerard?"

"I had to," Mikey said. "And Patrick. You're wrong. Frankie's not evil. I trust him. We trust him."

"No, don't you get it? All vampires are monsters! They are ruthless killers!" Patrick argued.

"Frankie's not," Gerard said fiercely. "I love him!"

Patrick glared at them. "Gerard, he will probably end up killing both of you."

"No, he won't!" Gerard yelled.

Patrick just glared and then walked up the porch stairs and tried to walk past Gerard into the house. Gerard didn't even hesitate and punched Patrick right in the cheek, surprising them all.

"You're not going in there," Gerard said, quietly but intensely serious.

Patrick at first just held his cheek where it had been hit, but then he looked up at Gerard with a furious glint in his eyes. He suddenly ran forward and lunged at Gerard. Gerard started hitting him to get him off. Finally, Patrick started kicking him and Gerard pushed him away.

Patrick didn't stop for even a beat, he started hitting Gerard again right away. Gerard tried to hit back, but missed, and Patrick hit him hard. He fell and landed on the ground hard. There was no doubt it hurt, but he got right back up and started right on Patrick again.

Finally, he grabbed a hold of Patrick's hair and smashed his face into the wall of the house.

Patrick fought his way lose, but then just fell to the ground clutching his face. There was blood pouring out of his nose and he was breathing heavily.

Gerard just moved back in front of the door and stood there glaring at Patrick. Patrick just continued to sit there, obviously still trying to recover.

They lost track of time, still all kind of in shock over what had happened, and one of them even realized that it had started to get dark. All of a sudden, the door of the house opened and out walked Frankie. At first, he just stared at them, obviously really confused.

"Okay, what the fuck just happened?" Frankie demanded.

"He came here to kill you in your sleep. I had to stop him," Gerard explained, pointing to Patrick.

"O-kay. That's completely bizarre. Did not know that anybody hated me that much," Frankie said. He turned to Patrick. "So, what's your story? Family got killed by vamps? Your girlfriend broke up with because you didn't look like Edward Cullen? Or you want Gerard to yourself? Cause you totally, totally can have him."

"Shut the fuck up," Patrick said. "I don't want Mikey...or Gerard...to be murdered by you! I came here to protect them!"

Frankie burst into laughter. "That's...fucking...hilarious," he managed to say through it.

Patrick's ears started turning red and he stormed over to Frankie. He went to punch him but even through his laughter Frankie easily blocked it. Then Frankie smirked suddenly and said, "Oh. Are you still seriously caring a grudge? That was the fucking 60s, dude."

"Um...what?" Pete asked.

"This dude here is a werewolf. Apparently in like the 60s werewolves decided they had something against vampires because we have to feed on humans, but it's not like most of us even kill. I don't know. I think they all just did too much acid or something," Frankie said.

"Whoa, so you're really a werewolf?" Mikey asked.

"Yes," Patrick admitted. "And I have lived through generations witnessing vampire cruelty towards humans."

"Like I said, too much acid," Frankie said. "So can we please stop this now? This is way too much drama for this early in the night."

Patrick glared. "What, you want me to just leave and let you kill them all?"

"Uh. 'Trick, I hate to say, it but I think you just need to let this go. He's obviously harmless," Pete said. "Also, you were a hippie once?"

"No!" Patrick said. "Just because I was alive in the 60s does not mean I did drugs or had long hair or protested the war! But that's not the point, Pete! We have a dangerous vampire here!"

"Patrick. Come on," Mikey said. "Let's just all go home. I'm tired."

"Me too," Pete said.

Patrick looked hesitant.

"Trust us?" Pete said.

"Fine," Patrick said. But then he turned to Frankie, "But if you do anything to them, I will come back and kill you in the most horrible way I can come up with." Then he stormed away. Pete followed him and Mikey shrugged at Gerard and then followed too.

"I'm really sorry about that," Gerard said quietly.

"It's okay. It's just how werewolves are. They have some like serious anger management issues," Frankie said. "Thanks for stopping him from killing me, by the way. I appreciate it."

"Yeah," Gerard said. "Well, I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"Why, cause I'm your token vampire?" Frankie asked, smiling.

"No!" Gerard said. Then, softly, "No. I really like you Frankie. I'd want to be with you even if you were just a human."

"Oh," Frankie said, grinning. He walked over to Gerard and pulled him into a kiss.

"Wait, what?" Gerard demanded after he pulled away.

"You're like so hot and awesome but I didn't want you to like me just because you had a vampire kink," Frankie explained. "This is much better."

"Oh," Gerard said, smiling. "But you'll still bite me, right?"

Frankie laughed. "Okay, sure!"

Gerard squealed and hugged Frankie while Frankie rolled his eyes and smiled.