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"You want me to do what?" Erin Everly screeched.

It had been nearly three hours since Axl and Laurie had decided to find a room with three beds. They had consulted Erin, who had agreed (reluctantly) to their plans, so they had gone down to the lobby to request a room change. Unfortunately, no such room as what they wanted existed. Axl had held back his anger and he and Laurie had gone back upstairs and--without asking Erin first--gone to Matt Sorum's room and managed to convince him to allow Erin to sleep in his room until they could figure out a way to get a room like what they wanted. It had taken a pretty high rise on Matt's overall salary, plus a few bribes that he get some extra groupies, but Laurie's cajoling and Axl's rather intimidating glare combined had worked, and the drummer had agreed. Now they had broken the news to Erin, and she was rather upset.

"Oh, for God's sake, Erin, it's just for a few months," snapped Axl. "Grow up."

"Make her go share a room with him!" Erin screamed, pointing with a shaking index finger at Laurie.

"She barely knows Matt! They just met--ah, earlier today, I believe. And you've known him almost since we first met back in '89, Erin. What is the big deal here? I'm not asking you to sleep with him, okay? I just--he was the first person that popped into my head."

"But I want to share a room with you!"

Axl's fist flew out and caught Erin on the temple. She stumbled backwards, hitting the wall of the hotel room, and let out a sharp cry of pain. Laurie, observing quietly, thought about saying something but decided against it. It wasn't her business.

"Look, you bitch, I don't really give a fuck about what you want, it's more of what I want, okay? And what I want is for you to pack your shit up and get the hell out of my hotel room. If you're really that uncomfortable about sharing with Sorum, then for Christ's sake sleep in his bathroom! But I better not wake up tomorrow and find you in here. Got it?"

Still whining softly in pain, Erin shoved what little she had unpacked into her bag and left the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Fuckin' drama queen," muttered Axl, running his fingers agitatedly through his hair. "Can't even get her out of the way without a whole crime scene getting played out."

Laurie sensed he wasn't expecting an answer, so she gave none, just stared steadily down at her bag, unpacking with deliberation. It wasn't until Axl had gone into the bathroom and shut the door behind him that she allowed the smile--and the soft laughter--that she had been holding in almost from the beginning of Erin and Axl's interactions to come out.

~~~

Backstage was hectic as everyone ran around, making last minute preparations and final tunings on their instruments. Laurie was about to go into her dressing room to do some final touch-ups on her makeup when she became aware that everyone seemed to be looking for something.

After a moment, she realized they were looking for Axl.

"Late again, is he?" she heard a techie comment sardonically to a roadie.

"Yeah," the roadie replied. "Like always."

They both laughed, then walked on.

Laurie hesitated, then ran off to find one of the Guns N' Roses members. She soon came across Duff, who was leaned against a wall, head back, cigarette in his mouth, muttering, "Where the fuck is that asshole?" to himself in a very angry voice. Laurie tapped him on the shoulder and said softly:

"Hey, Duff."

The bassist opened his eyes and smiled down at Laurie.

"Hey," he said. "You wouldn't happen to know where Axl is, would you?"

She shook her head. "The last place I saw him was in our room; he was doing some exercises when I was leaving for sound check and he said he'd come along later in a different limo."

"Dammit," said Duff angrily, dropping the cigarette and grinding it out with his foot. "He never showed up to sound check."

"Maybe those exercises took longer than he'd anticipated..."

"Look, Laurie. No offense, but you haven't been with us these past few years. You have no idea what kind of shit we've been forced to put up with around him. Lemme tell you, Axl Rose is a 'high-maintenance woman' and a drama queen. He needs his exercises to keep himself fit and to keep his vocal chords in shape, but they don't have to take as long as they do. Then he gets his ankles professionally taped--"

"He's always had weak ankles," Laurie defended Axl. "You know that."

"But it takes one frikkin' hour, Laurie! And of course--well, I suppose you don't know about his psychologist, do you?"

"No. I thought he fired Ian after that whole incident back in '86 or '87."

"This is a female psychologist. After you left, he didn't have anyone to talk to, so he started having worse nightmares than ever. He refused to talk to any of us about it until one night when he woke some groupie he was sleeping with up with his screams. She freaked out and came running to Slash's room, begging him to help Axl. We woke him up and managed to calm him down and convinced him to get some professional help, so he hired this woman to talk him through it all. I don't know if you heard, but he's getting into Freud and regression therapy and stuff. It's intense, Laurie. And I'm glad he's figuring shit out, but it takes up so much time. Whereas with you--"

"Okay, look, I don't need the guilt trip. I get it. He's found someone else to bitch to about his problems, so he's all monomaniacal about that and forgets his fans and his band. I'm sorry, Duff, but that's just not my problem."

"I wish you had taken him with you when you left for sound check. We can't call him, he blocks all calls. He won't talk to anyone one-on-one anymore except Izzy and Slash, and even them he speaks to very little."

"I'm not responsible for Axl's actions. I can go to the hotel and see what's holding him up if you want..."

"No, that's fine, he'll probably be here in a few minutes with some lame excuse about why he's late again."

"Two hours, Duff?"

"You'd be surprised how much crap Axl's been telling us since you left."

"It wasn't my fault. He pushed me over the edge. You have no idea how many nights I was up debating whether or not to leave him. The decision was just as hard on me as it has been on him, I'm sure."

"But you didn't consider the rest of us, Laurie. Not even for one second did you consider the fact that maybe--just maybe--your leaving would completely ruin the rest of the band. You held him together at the seams. You kept him going every day, every night. He could rant to you, he could tell you about his dreams; you were able to relate to him so well, Laur, like the rest of us couldn't. We tried to understand him but you were the only one who was ever able to get through to him. Then you left...and everything fell apart. He fell apart. And it hasn't been the same since."

Laurie lowered her gaze, torn between shame and anger. "He drove me to leaving, Duff," she whispered. "I loved him and I'm sure he loved me, but I couldn't handle it anymore. I just couldn't."

"You could have, Laurie. I know you and how strong you are. You were just too scared to try. Leaving Axl was probably the most selfish decision you could've ever made. I hope to God someone leaves you someday so that you can know the knife-like pain you put him through. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go see if he's here yet." And Duff stormed off, leaving Laurie with a feeling quite like someone had stabbed her in the chest. She and Duff had never argued before; in fact, none of the Gn'R members besides Axl had ever found any problems with her.

Laurie went to her dressing room feeling sick. She shut the door and sat down at the table, wiping away the tears that had begun falling so that she could apply her makeup without it running.

~~~

"Well, Axl, what's your grand excuse this time?"

It was an hour after Laurie and Duff had had their argument. Axl had finally shown up in his stretch limo, wearing his high top white sneakers, skin-tight leather pants underneath ripped blue jeans, a leather jacket, and a white T-shirt. As protection from the cold of Seattle in March, he was wearing a large faux-fur coat with leopard spots dotting it. Due to this amazingly sexy get-up, Laurie had a very hard time staying angry at her ex. Nevertheless, she was sitting in the main room backstage, glaring at Axl with the others as Slash questioned him.

"Dude, you know I have to get my ankles taped. And my throat was hurting, so I had to wait before I could do my vocal exercises. So that's why I was late."

"You do realize that the last band stopped playing over two hours ago, right?" Laurie could not resist asking. Axl glared at her.

"Yeah, Lauren, I get that. I don't need your input. I was late. I regret it. Now let's go on before any more time gets wasted." He stood up from his chair and walked towards the entrance to the stage.

After a moment, Slash, looking slightly less pissed off than before, followed. Duff, Izzy, Matt, and Dizzy followed him, and Erin and Laurie went after them. The screams coming from the crowd at the announcer's roar of "Welcome, Guns N' Roses, straight from L.A.!" was intoxicating. Laurie could not resist grinning as she and Erin mounted the platform made for the background singers.

Maybe this won't be as bad as Duff said, she thought.

Then she watched as Axl, without even starting his first song, criticized the P.A. system for being so shitty and messing up the sound in the arena.

Then again, maybe it'll be worse.