FicWad

Backstage was tense, due to Laurie and Axl's earlier argument. They circled around in the main room, avoiding each other, sending cold glances at each other out of the corner's of their eyes. Slash, Duff, and Izzy were avoiding the room at all costs, until it was absolutely necessary to be in there; they knew that an explosion was imminent, and they didn't want to stick around and have to clean up the mess afterwards.

"I'm surprised you're here on time, Axl," said Laurie finally, tired of the silence.

"Shut up, Stevens," he snapped back. He wasn't about to tell her the truth: that what she had said to him earlier had actually made him get up at three o'clock instead of five-thirty, and therefore he'd gotten everything done faster and more efficiently than usual.

Not like he was going to make a habit of that.

"So have you decided that we're going onstage on time tonight?" Laurie asked.

He glared at her. "Don't think I'm making a habit of this, Lauren."

She rolled her eyes and did not respond.

After a while, Erin came into the main room, carrying a bottle of Jack in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. Like Laurie, she wore the background singer outfit: a black dress with spaghetti straps and a low-cut front. She walked up to Axl and offered him the bottle of JD's, which he took and drank a little of.

"Almost ready to go onstage?" she asked, lighting a cigarette and offering the pack to Laurie, who took it, looking mildly confused at this sudden generosity.

Laurie and Axl nodded, not looking at each other.

"Cool; me too," she said before flouncing back out of the room.

Axl looked down at the bottle of Jack in his hand like he'd forgotten he was holding it. He took a longer swig of the drink and felt its fiery liquid burning through his body. Next to him Laurie took a cigarette out of the pack and lit it with a stray lighter she found on the table. She blew out a puff of smoke and looked at Axl, holding out the pack.

"Want?"

He shook his head. "Not right before I sing, no." He drank some more and felt his head slowly starting to clear.

The door to the main room opened and Slash, Duff, Izzy, Matt, and Dizzy entered.

"Hey," said Izzy, walking up to his best friend and taking the bottle of Jack from him. "You an' Laurie don't need this shit right before you go onstage."

Axl's eyes flashed, but, perhaps remembering that it had been Duff who had criticized him to Laurie the previous day, he said nothing.

Laurie dropped her cigarette and ground it out with her foot, looking mildly guilty.

Erin re-entered the room, and they went out onstage. Laurie looked out over the crowd and a surge of excitement welled up inside her. Was it her imagination, or was the crowd tonight even larger than the previous day?

Thank you, Axl, thank you so much for making it on time, she thought, as Axl began the first song on the set list, "It's So Easy". So you do still respect me a little.

~~~

After the show, Axl dashed backstage, hoping to evade the crowds before they got too insane. He and the others were planning on going to an after party. As he passed Izzy in the hallway, the rhythm guitarist handed him a fresh bottle of Jack which he'd obviously stolen from the front.

"To make it up to you, man," he said. "Don't get too drunk though; Laurie wouldn't appreciate it."

"Like I give a fuck what Laurie wants," muttered Axl, more to himself than to anyone else. He took a swig from the bottle and tried not to think about the look in Laurie's eyes as he'd passed her up onstage while running to and from his clothes change during the solo of "Estranged". She'd been staring at him, and it had been all too obvious what she'd been thinking: since when have you found it necessary to change your entire wardrobe every five minutes? To avoid the unpleasant memory, he took another drink and continued walking down the hall until he reached the shut door of Laurie's dressing room. He hesitated, decided he didn't care whether or not she wanted to see him, and knocked.

"Come in," she called.

Axl stuck his head inside and saw Laurie sitting at the table, removing her makeup meticulously with cold cream. She glanced briefly at him before returning to what she was doing.

"Hey," he said. "You coming to the after party?"

"No, I'm tired. I'm just going back to the hotel."

"All right." He paused, and she looked at him again, her head cocked to one side.

"Yes? You wanted something?"

A strange feeling washed over Axl at that moment; a feeling he hadn't had since 1987. He had never been able to put a finger on what it was, but back then he'd always called it the "Lauriemotion": a feeling one got when one was around Laurie Stevens for a long time. He swallowed hard, noticing for the first time in a long time exactly how beautiful Laurie was.

"No," he said after a moment, "nothing. See you later, I guess."

And he walked out before she could make sense of this strange interaction between them.

~~~

Laurie woke up at around four in the morning to the hotel door unlocking. She yawned and rolled over, away from the sudden flood of light invading the warm darkness, and thought, wonder if he had a good time.

A moment later, Laurie was startled out of sleep once again as the mattress sank below her. Axl's arms encircled her waist and she felt his lips, hot, slightly wet, smelling of whiskey and beer, on the side of her neck.

"Um..." she mumbled. "What do you want?"

"You," whispered Axl huskily, his fingers moving against her skin.

She rolled over, pushed him away. "You're drunk," she said, disgusted. "Go take a shower and go to sleep, Axl."

He pressed his mouth against hers and ran his tongue along her lips. "Hey, Laurie, I'm not gonna hurt you...just wanna...just want you." His speech was slurred, his words running together at top speed. Laurie sat up and got off the bed. She wondered exactly how much Axl had had to drink and concluded he'd had way more than he could handle.

He'll get what he deserves in the morning, she thought, before lying down on the other bed.

"Go to sleep, Axl," she repeated, snuggling under the sheets and shutting her eyes.

He pulled the covers off her and covered her body with his.

"We missed you at the casino," he said. "You oughta make it up to me." He slid his hands down her sides, kissed her, his breathing hot and heavy in her ears. For a moment, in the darkness, Laurie was lost to the passion and she and Axl sat up together, their tongues running together, their legs locking beneath the sheets. He slid his hand up her shirt and fondled her breast; she quickly pulled away and stood up.

"Dammit, Axl," she said. "I know you're drunk as hell. You're gonna regret this in the morning, you know. You don't really love me."

His eyes were lucid, almost eerily bright. He licked his lips, got off the bed, and pressed her up against the wall so that she could not escape his touch.

"Who says," he whispered, "that I don't love you?" He kissed her again, and she shoved him away with more force than she'd known she had.

"You're just caught up in the lust and passion of the moment. Believe me, Axl, I know you don't love me. Because I sure as hell don't love you."

The words seemed to catch him off balance, throw him off course. For a few seconds he was silent, then he said:

"Of course not. I seem to be forgetting more and more often lately that it's not 1987 anymore." He backed away from her, and she did not fail to notice the way his fists were clenched tightly at his sides, the way his jaw worked. "I just thought that...you know...I thought maybe love doesn't go away as easily as that."

"You think it was easy for me?" Laurie whispered without thinking. "You think it was easy for me to leave you?"

"Then why did you do it?" Axl snarled, turning away. "Did you think I could live without you, Laurie? Did you think it wouldn't hurt me? Do you think I have no heart; that I have no human feelings? Just because I'm better at hiding them than most doesn't mean they don't exist."

Laurie swallowed. Her eyes filled with tears. Duff's words still rang in her ears, loud and clear: I hope to God someone leaves you someday so that you can know the knife-like pain you put him through. Had she ever really thought of it, of what he'd have to go through?

How could she have ever thought that he wouldn't hurt just as much--probably more--than she had?

After a moment, Axl said, "Well, I'm going to take a shower. See you later, Laurie. I'm glad you can bury your old feelings for me so deeply you can no longer sense them. It's a hell of a lot better than what I've been able to accomplish since this damn tour's started." And he went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Laurie sank down onto her bed, a few tears escaping and running down her cheeks. It was the first time that it had ever occured to her that Axl might still be just the tiniest bit in love with her.

It was the first time that she had ever considered that maybe she still felt the same way about him.