FicWad

June 1991

Axl looked at Laurie out of the corner of his eye as she pulled first her bag and then Izzy's off the conveyor belt in the Tulsa, Oklahoma, airport. He'd just gotten his cast off the week before, but already he was walking normally again; running around the stage at a fast pace like he'd never stopped. And, without a cast to inhibit him, he'd started to sleep with Erin again, nearly every night. Looking at Laurie, he felt mildly guilty about this; after all, she wasn't having sex with anyone...or was she? Axl watched her hand Izzy's bag to him, watched as the rhythm guitarist's hand gently grazed the small of her back as he took it, and suddenly he wasn't so sure anymore.

Then again, Axl hadn't been sure of anything in Laurie's life ever since their huge fight in April.

"What's wrong, baby?" asked Erin, coming up out of nowhere and kissing his cheek. "You look distracted as all get-out."

Axl shook his head. "Nothing's the matter, honey. I'm fine." He reached down and scratched his left leg; ever since he'd gotten the cast off, it had been itching him periodically.

Just then, Laurie walked over to him. "Axl," she said, looking at the ground instead of into his eyes, "Izzy wants to know if we're staying at the Ritz Carlton or the Hilton."

"Why does he need to know?"

"'Cause he wants to call a cab and he doesn't know where to tell the driver to take us."

"He can ride in the limo with everyone else, Lauren." Axl folded his arms across his chest, inexplicably annoyed. Why wouldn't Izzy want to ride in the limo?

Laurie walked over to him and said something. Then Izzy walked up to Axl.

"Dude," he said, "is it such a problem for me and Laurie to--"

"Whoa," said Axl. "Hang on. Since when are you and Laurie riding in a taxicab alone?"

"Since when do you care?" Izzy shot back. "She doesn't feel well; she doesn't want to ride in the limo."

Axl rolled his eyes. "She hasn't been 'feeling well' since May when she threw up the first time. God, Izzy, you're my best friend, but when the hell are you gonna wake up and realize she's faking?"

"Look, Axl, she doesn't want to ride in the limo, okay?"

"I get that. But why do you have to ride in the taxi cab with her?"

"Because I know perfectly well that you wouldn't. It's not like you're her boyfriend anymore."

"It's not like you are either."

Before Izzy could think of an appropriate lie to this statement, however, Erin said, "Can we go already? I think everyone's got their bags."

Axl nodded sharply and turned away from Izzy, an unspoken statement that their conversation was officially over. "Let's go, people!" he yelled to his band mates. "The limo's waiting outside!"

Izzy reached over and enveloped Laurie's fingers between his.

"Sorry," he said softly. "I tried."

She shook her head and passed her free hand over her stomach. "I'll be okay."

Slash walked over to them as they walked out and slid his arm around Laurie's shoulders.

"Can I borrow your girlfriend for a second, man?"

Izzy nodded, and Slash took Laurie aside.

"Is it the baby?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. My stomach still isn't used to this...whatever this is. I'll be all right, though. I didn't think Axl would be cool with it anyway."

Slash and Laurie looked over at the red-haired lead singer, who was shoving his bag and Erin's bag into the back of the limo and looking about as enthused to be there as the average teenager looks on his or her math exam day.

"He's so moody," said Laurie. "God, I'm glad that we're not together anymore." But Slash, who was an expert at reading emotions, did not fail to notice the subtle darkening of her irises, the way her posture slouched slightly; all indicators that she did not mean a word she said.

~~~

Later that evening, backstage, before the concert, when everyone was waiting for Axl to show up, Izzy and Laurie were snuggling in Izzy's dressing room. Laurie was seriously considering telling Izzy that she was pregnant; after all, it had been two months and she knew that she'd start showing pretty soon. Better to get it over with in a conversation than through a visual: a bulge spotted under a too tight T-shirt, or the gained fat in her thighs and breasts as the pregnancy progressed, or--

"Laur?"

She came out of her thoughts. "Yeah, Izzy?"

"If I wanted to leave Guns and go solo--would you come with me, or stay with Axl?"

Laurie hesitated a second too long. Izzy nodded, like he'd known all along.

"Yeah, I didn't think you'd go with me. It's okay, though; we're not really in love, are we?" He passed his fingers absentmindedly through her hair, down her neck, along the curves of her breasts and arms, then along her still-flat stomach, leaving a white mark on her already pale skin. Laurie thought, as Izzy's fingers traveled on her stomach, that she could feel a faint movement, like the baby was already aware of who its father was.

There was a knock on the door.

"Stradlin and Stevens," called Duff. "You two come on out. The man of the hour has finally arrived with that little slut of his and we're ready to roll."

Laurie hopped off Izzy's lap and gave him a long kiss, tracing the smoke-infused pathways in his mouth with her tongue. "I do love you, Izzy," she said when she pulled away. "I just--"

"I know." He smiled at her, a little sadly. "He's always held predominance over everyone that he's known. Our friends always wanted to be with him way more than with me; he's magnetic. I don't blame you for wanting to be with him even though he's treated you like shit these past few months." He hooked his fingers through hers and they walked out together, ready for another performance, another night on the stage.

~~~

After the concert, backstage in the main room, Laurie was fingering a cigarette, wondering how far along in the pregnancy you had to be before it was really dangerous to smoke nicotine, when Slash came into the room, followed by Axl and Erin.

"Hey, Laurie," said Slash. He walked over and took the cigarette out of her hands, along with the lighter. "You shouldn't be smoking in your condition."

"What condition is Laurie in that she can't smoke?" asked Axl, and he didn't sound mean for once, merely curious.

Laurie's cheeks flushed. "Y'know...I've been so sick lately, I think that's what Slash means." She elbowed the guitarist in the side, like, shut the hell up!

Axl nodded. "It might set off your stomach again, Laurie. You seemed all right tonight during the show."

That was because Slash kept coming over to me every five seconds and asking me if I was doing okay, Laurie thought, but of course she didn't say anything out loud. Her stomach felt okay in the evenings actually; it was the mornings that were torturous. Must mean Izzy and I are having a girl, she added, and almost laughed out loud.

Axl walked over to Laurie, tilted her face up to his, completely ignoring the fact that Erin was still in the room. "You do look paler than usual, Laur," he said, and her heart jerked; he hadn't called her that in a long, long time.

"I'm fine, Axl," she whispered, meeting his eyes. For some reason, she saw tears glittering there, brightening his dark turquoise irises.

"Laurie..." he started hoarsely.

"Yeah?"

"I'm--" He stopped mid-sentence, turning away from her, dropping her chin. She bit down on her lower lip and looked at Slash, but he didn't seem to know what was going on either.

"You what, Axl?" asked Laurie softly.

He shook his head. "Nothing, baby, never mind." He took Erin's hand in his. "Let's go."

Once they were out of the main room backstage, Erin grabbed Axl by the arm and pulled him aside.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she hissed angrily. "You called Laurie 'baby'!"

"Yeah. So?"

"She's not your girlfriend!"

"I know that, you fucked-up excuse for a woman!" yelled Axl, suddenly pissed off for no reason. He shook her off, so hard that she crashed into the wall. "Fuckin' bitch," he muttered, and stormed off towards his dressing room.

It wasn't until he had reached the room and slammed the door behind him that he realized that he'd had no idea what he'd been thinking.