Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Mean.... Boys? A MCR Parody of Mean Girls

Is Your Muffin Buttered?

by sparkle_monster 2 reviews

Crashes and Burns. Buttered Muffins. Social Suicide saving. I should really use a different style for my summaries.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Parody - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2011-04-03 - Updated: 2011-04-03 - 937 words

1Original
Sitting with the Metals is like entering another universe. Eyeliner once a week, pink jeans on Wesnesdays, no sweatpants. Like jeez! They're clothes!

 I walked into school sporting Jarred's pink skinny jeans and a Misfits tee. I felt so empty without my eyeliner, pathetic right?
"Frank!" my maths teacher (who was also my homeroom teacher) called to me. 
"Yeah?" I asked curiously. 
"Your fantastic at math. Better than I've seen in a while. We have a little after school group call the Math Stars. We compete and all the stuff. We would love to have you on the team. This here is Mikey, he's the captain" she pointed to a rather cute boy. He was awkwardly tall and wore his glasses at the end of his nose. 
"Really, you would be the perfect addition" Mikey said. 
"I'll think about" I said and walked away. 
"Nice pants!" I turned around to see Jarred leaning against the wall. I smiled and walked over to him. 
"Jarred, what are your opinions on the Math Stars?" 
I really didn't know if I should join or not. 
"Social suicide."Lindsey popped around the corner. 
"That Mikey kid? Yeah girls used to drool over him, he's Gerard's brother" my face lit up as Jarred said Gerard's name "but once he joined that stupid math geek group, he's been a loser who no one talks too anymore" he finished. 
Now I'm not so sure. The lunch bell rang, "Remember the plan!" Lindsey called out. I nodded and headed towards the lunchroom. 
"Hey guys" I greater them, and their pink skinny jeans. 
"Heyyyyy" Bert said. "I'll be right back, I'm getting cheese fries" with that he walked away. 
"So" Ray started "guys or girls"
Oh god. 
"Uhmm... Guys" I hesitated to tell them, but their my friends right? They won't judge me. 
"Great, same for all of us. See any guys that catch your eyes?" Bob asked. 
"Yeah, this one guy in my math class, Gerard Way" the all gasped at his name. 
"Oh no no no no! That's Bert's property! It's a good thing you told us before you asked him out or anything!" Ray rambled. 
"Bert and Gerard went out over the summer, they were so cute! But they broke up." Bob said. 
"So keep your little paws off Gerard! Bert will be very pissed. I won't tell him though, it's our little secret" he winked at me then the bell rang. I then remembered Lindsey's words: That's why his hair is so big, it's full if secrets.
**

I was walking home by the soccer field when I saw Gerard kicking the ball around. He saw me and waved and I waved back. All of a sudden I heard a loud beep then: "Get in hoe we're going to the mall" it was Bert, Ray and Bob. I obeyed his orders and hopped in the back. 
We just sat in silent the whole way there. I hope this was the right thing to do, like pretending to be their friends for Lindsey. What did they even do to her? 
"Get out bitches we're here." Bert said as he got out of his black hummer. 
We all followed into the mall. 
"Oh my god is that Jason Briggs? Making out with Sarah?!? EW! Ray do you see that?" Bert cried. 
"What the flying hell, Frank, me and Jason dated. You know Jason right?" Ray asked me. As a matter of fact, I did. 
*Flash Back, Math class*
"You're the kid from Italy right?"
I peered up from my notebook. 
"Yeah" I said. 
"Is your muffin buttered?"
"Uhmmm..."
"Would you like me to butter your muffin for you?" where the hell is this kid going?
"Dude, fuck off" GERRRRAARRRRRRDDDDD!! Oh that man! 
*Back To Reality**
"Yeah!" I said. 
"Ray, give me your phone" Bert demanded. 
"Are you gonna call Sarah?" Ray asked handing over his phone. 
"No you dumb ass" Bert dialed in a number "I'm calling her mom, you'll see"

 "Hi! This is Chris, from the medical walk in center. I have your daughters test results! Please, have her call us immediately. Bye!" the all snickered. 
 That was horrible, but I played along. 

 After the mall we went to Bert's house and man was it HUGE!
 We followed Bert upstairs. 
The three boys stood in front of a mirror, the talked back and forth about their insecurities. 
"My eyebrows are freaking bushy as hell"
"I'm starting to get love handles"
"I have black heads all over my nose"
"At least you guys can wear tank tops, I have chick shoulders"
Who knew guys could be this way?
"OH MY GOD! DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER THIS?" Ray screeched as he pulled at a book titled "Crashes and Burns"
"I haven't looked at this in forever!" Bert exclaimed. 
"Frank this is a book where we write shit about everyone in the school" Bob said. 
"Shay Patterson, made out with a taco" Bert said. 
"Still true" Ray added. 
"Lisa Jones, fat virgin." Ray read. 
"Still half true" Bert laughed. 
"Lindsey Smith, dyke." 
"Who's that in the back of her picture?" Bob asked. 
"That Jarred kid" Ray said. 
"He's almost to gay to function" uh oh. I didn't mean to say it! It was inky funny when Lindsey said it!
The all laughed. 
"You said it honey, put it in."
Bert handed me the book. I sighed and slowly wrote the insult down. 

______

Chapter three! Yay! First of all I think all the men in this story are truly beautiful. Second, oh, I forgot. Well thanks for everything! R&R please!
Oh and sorry for the short chapters!
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