FicWad

I was sat in my room playing guitar. I was living with my best friend Ray, He was a diamond. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for Ray Toro, He has been there through everything. He has never once walked away from me; he kept me together when I felt like falling apart. Sometimes I felt guilty for making things so hard for him, but he has never once got mad, or angry with me. I think Ray would be my perfect guy if he wasn’t straight and I didn’t think of him as a brother. I’m a Freak, An Alien you could say. I hate every part of my body. I can’t be around anyone other than my parents and Ray without feeling worthless, and it’s not that people make me feel that way, or make fun of me because what happened, people don’t know other then old friends and family.

But I don’t know what it is, since I got cancer I don’t feel like a person and I most defiantly feel like a man. Ray brought over his Friend tonight, there all in a band together, well there trying to start a band and make it work. I think he thought by bringing them over that I’d hang out with them all, but he was wrong, because the one person I can’t be around was there. Gerard Way. He was Beautiful, He had this manly era about him, even though he’s is gay, Gayer then I am. He’s voice is so smooth and sexy but had this childlike twang to it to. And he has the strongest Jersey accent that he has ever heard. He was to die for. Completely and utterly to die for. And I just can’t be around him, because it would just make me feel worse and it wouldn’t be his fault at all. It would be my own.
There was a soft knock on my door, I stopped playing and looked towards the door.

‘Come in’ I put down Pansy as the door slowly opened and Ray’s afro popped around the door followed by the rest of his body. He shut the door and walked over to the chair in front of me and sat down.

‘Why don’t you come out and get something to eat, we just ordered pizza, your favourite’ He had a hopeful grin on his face that broke my heart, because I was going to have to recline his offer.

‘I’m not hungry, sorry’ I went back to playing the peaceful tune I had been playing all night, Just playing it over and over again, it was slow and soft. It helped me relax.

‘Frankie it’s not healthy been locked up I your room all the time, you’re not eating or scoicaling at all. It really isn’t healthy and I’m starting to get worried. ‘I could tell by his face and eyes how concerned he really bad, it really did break my heart. I couldn’t tell him the real reason I couldn’t go down, he’d laugh.

‘I’m fine Ray, please don’t worry’ I smiled at him and took his hand and squeezed it. ‘Please, I’ll eat later, keep me a slice of pizza’ he sighed and nodded and hugged me.

‘I’ll hold you to that, Iero’ he joked and left. I went back to playing guitar. I must have been so caught up in because I never heard a knock on the door nor someone enter the room.




Okay so here is the second chapter. It's not all that good because i've been trying to fit writing into everything else i've been doing, College, Dance, Work, Boyfriend, Family blah blah blah.
Buuuuuuuut i have a few days off wrok so i'll be home early enough from college so i can fit some writing on too.
I've been thinking about what i want to do with my life. and although i love history and i'd give anything to do teach it. i think i'm just a little to younge to become a teacher right now. So after this year i'm gonna drop out and put it on hold. and plus when the baby comes (not mine my mum's) she's gonna need some help.
Anyways i thought i'd use this time and space to fill you in on my life. I have also got two names for the baby.
If it's a Girl: Emily?
If it's a boy: Kyle?

what do you guy's think. I haven't said anything to my mum yet, since there's time to change my mind hehe xD I'M ALSO GONNA BE THE GOD-MOTHER xD i'm super excited hehe

Anyways i'm off. Gonna watch a movie with Jake (My B.F) he doesn;t know about this so shhh :P

LOVE YOU ALL
-Cassie