Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses
Long legs extending down from amazing hips. A nice, lean stomach. Hair bleached so blonde it's nearly white. I'm lying in his arms, head pillowed on his chest. He's sleeping, the gentle rise and fall of his chest providing further comfort. I've often caught myself wondering if he's an angel in disguise.
I know that he's saved me…
There are so many nights that, if it weren't for him, I would've died. I'll admit to not remembering some of them. Being strung out on heroin tends to leave one with blank spots in the memory. But he stuck by my side through the worst of it. He's spent so many nights soothing me, talking to me, holding me…pushing me through the hell that is withdrawal. Simply knowing that he cares makes me want to stay clean.
But addiction is a monster bigger than the both of us…
I promised him I'd limit myself to pot and booze, but I need that fix! As gently as I can, I slip out of his arms and crawl off the bed. I look around the dark room, trying to locate my pants. I hear him stir and I freeze.
"Izz..?"
His voice is gruff with sleep.
"I'm right here. Just, uh…gotta piss. Go back to sleep, Duff," I answer. I stumble to the door and slip out to the bathroom, hoping he'll believe me. My reflection stares back at me from the mirror. Dark-rimmed eyes mock me.
Just one more time…
I creep back into the room and find my pants. As I'm pulling them on, I scan the floor for my shirt. Before I can sit down to pull on my socks and shoes, he stops me.
"You lied…"
His voice is quiet, broken. I look up to find him sitting up in the bed, watching me. The guilt rises up like bile and I have to close my eyes to keep myself from becoming physically sick. I sit down on the edge of the bed, supporting my head in my hands. He turns the bedside lamp on before speaking again.
"You swore to me…Do I matter that little to you? Am I so insignificant to you that you can go back on your word on a whim? Am I just another distraction?"
His words cut worse than any knife. I remain silent. I know the answer. He's worth more to me than anything in this world. But I keep silent.
Words mean little at this point…
"If you wanna go, I won't stop you…But don't expect me to let you back in…If you go, it's over…We're over…"
I stay where I am, letting his words sink in. I'm so numb that my own tears don't register until his arms are around me.
"I'm s-sorry," I choke out.
"Come back to bed," he whispers, and I obey, quickly stripping back down. I take my place in his arms once again, the sobs wracking my shoulders. He whispers sweet promises to me, telling me everything will be okay, swearing he loves me. And I believe him.
I know that he's saved me…
I know that he's saved me…
There are so many nights that, if it weren't for him, I would've died. I'll admit to not remembering some of them. Being strung out on heroin tends to leave one with blank spots in the memory. But he stuck by my side through the worst of it. He's spent so many nights soothing me, talking to me, holding me…pushing me through the hell that is withdrawal. Simply knowing that he cares makes me want to stay clean.
But addiction is a monster bigger than the both of us…
I promised him I'd limit myself to pot and booze, but I need that fix! As gently as I can, I slip out of his arms and crawl off the bed. I look around the dark room, trying to locate my pants. I hear him stir and I freeze.
"Izz..?"
His voice is gruff with sleep.
"I'm right here. Just, uh…gotta piss. Go back to sleep, Duff," I answer. I stumble to the door and slip out to the bathroom, hoping he'll believe me. My reflection stares back at me from the mirror. Dark-rimmed eyes mock me.
Just one more time…
I creep back into the room and find my pants. As I'm pulling them on, I scan the floor for my shirt. Before I can sit down to pull on my socks and shoes, he stops me.
"You lied…"
His voice is quiet, broken. I look up to find him sitting up in the bed, watching me. The guilt rises up like bile and I have to close my eyes to keep myself from becoming physically sick. I sit down on the edge of the bed, supporting my head in my hands. He turns the bedside lamp on before speaking again.
"You swore to me…Do I matter that little to you? Am I so insignificant to you that you can go back on your word on a whim? Am I just another distraction?"
His words cut worse than any knife. I remain silent. I know the answer. He's worth more to me than anything in this world. But I keep silent.
Words mean little at this point…
"If you wanna go, I won't stop you…But don't expect me to let you back in…If you go, it's over…We're over…"
I stay where I am, letting his words sink in. I'm so numb that my own tears don't register until his arms are around me.
"I'm s-sorry," I choke out.
"Come back to bed," he whispers, and I obey, quickly stripping back down. I take my place in his arms once again, the sobs wracking my shoulders. He whispers sweet promises to me, telling me everything will be okay, swearing he loves me. And I believe him.
I know that he's saved me…
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