FicWad

Growing up we collect baggage along the way comprised of bad memories, enemies and regrets, but also friends and relationships that are just complicated in definition. Especially in modern society, young people have the freedom to be whatever they want but no guidance in which to pick direction. In addition to that, we have the resources, the pressure and ambition to try just about anything. All that energy and very little direction can lead to some complicated and interesting relationships and situations. College, for the most part, is where this and experimentation begins.

Gerard Way identified himself as most awkwardly developing intellectuals do, as a misfit and outsider. Pouring his time and effort into his imagination and art didn't gift him with many friends, but it did leave him with a noticeable talent. So by the time he entered college, and finally began to fill a sense of himself as well as his looks, he had a powerful portfolio, several offers and scholarships, a handful of close friends but lots of unsatisfied desires.

One of his close friends, which also included his kid brother, Mikey, was Frank Iero. A boisterous spit-fire with an insatiable lust for music he had a gutter mouth, a guitar, and a live fast, die young attitude. He believed if he lived to see thirty, that he'd have a hell of a lot of stories to tell, but until then college was going to be his excuse for a good time. The benefit to being a virtuoso musically as well as academically was an overdeveloped confidence that allowed him to breeze through school and face every night unhindered.

It might not have been the best idea for Frank and Gerard to attend the same college, but Gerard felt assured knowing he had at least one good friend on campus with him and Frank would follow him anywhere, and had the scores to do it. Frank was aware of his attraction to Gerard over the years, but it was like most budding things in high school underdeveloped, awkward, and unacceptable. By college, however, not only had Frank grown into his looks and self-esteem, but he was also more confident, experienced and self-controlled. By sophomore year, his sights were set. Gerard followed suit developmentally, but if took some assurance, suggestions and a certain amount of alcohol from Frank before he realized as much.

First they refused to call it a relationship, they refused to call it anything but fun and the main rule was to just act on impulse. If they wanted to be affectionate with each other they wouldn't let pretense or hesitations stop them, but if they didn't they wouldn't. It was understood that as friends previously there was a degree of attachment and jealousy possible, so openness was encouraged, but no expectations of any sort because in the end they didn't know if they were gay, straight, or sane so the obvious was grades came first, love second.

And it worked well for them. They were even able to be open among their friends, who downplayed it, but they were comfortable with it and definitely with each other. The years at college went by as the best years of their lives so far, and at graduation they were sore to let it go, but they promised no expectations. What their relationship became, although in any context it was just friends, was a mutual love of the other person in a true and healthy sense. Gerard kept Frank on track, never let his proclivities get too out of hand, kept up with his classes, and beamed with pride when Frank graduated with honors, the only salutatorian to flash devil horns and sport a Mohawk. Frank on the other hand, posed for Gerard and brought him copious amounts of coffee while keeping company in the drafty art studio, and inflated his ego every time he didn't match his expectations.

It was actually Frank who insisted Gerard apply to the institute in Vancouver which boasted a direct vein into the chosen field of study. All Gerard wanted to do was illustrate comics, and the necessary boot out the door came with an offer to intern at Dark Horse. Frank gleamed when Gerard received the news, but inside he wasn't as positive about their separation.

But the day came, and Frank saw Gerard all the way to the security gate before saying goodbye. Both of them were heavy with things they promised they wouldn't say, but their eyes gave them away. The transparent expression in Frank's clear hazel eyes burned up at Gerard from beneath the curl of his flattened Mohawk. If it wasn't because with his head hung in defeat he looked right into them, Gerard wouldn't have been able to face it, but he too gazed longingly for his last time. He found Frank's set little mouth too much to resist and against his better judgment, in the middle of the bustling morning airport, he kissed his lips slowly, wondering in the back of his head if Frank would even accept him which he did.
His voice was hoarse when he whispered goodbye.

"It's not a fucking goodbye. You'll be home soon." He reached up and tried sliding Gerard's bangs behind both ears but they fell back in front of his eyes. Of course, he found this irresistible and kissed him back by leaning up on the balls of his feet. They heard the sounds of people hissing and commenting behind them but didn't listen to any of it.

"Frank, if I don't leave now I won"t be able to." It was true, his resolve was melting where they stood possibly molding Gerard's feet to the tile and he wouldn't be able to move them soon. His hands all ready weakened and dropped his luggage at his sides.

"Go. Make a life and career, go and live your dream." He made Gerard stoop to hug him by wrapping his arms around his neck so he could nestle next to his ear, his favorite spot being the square inch of skin right behind it. He felt Gerard do the same by snaking one hand beneath the hem of his shirt and finding the smooth skin of his lower back.

"Frankie, I lo-" He hushed him. Although they didn't have a rule against exchanging the vow, which was true before, after, and even if they weren't together anymore, he didn't have the strength to hear it now.

"I know, me too." For good measure, he sighed slowly deliberately aiming his breath to caress Gerard's ear. He felt him shiver and smile into his shoulder. That was always their signal to each other, but no use now.

"Tease." He accused, but that was that. The time had come. "Bye Kid, see you soon."

"Yeah, you fuckin' better." This time they didn't kiss, just shook hands and pulled one another into a firm one-armed hug. Gerard scooped up his duffel bag and swung his art portfolio over his shoulder. He looked hard at Frank one last time to imprint his perfectly symmetrical face in his memory, and turned towards the gate.

Although he desperately wanted him too, Frank was proud he didn't look back. He sighed deeply and pulled out a cigarette, needing something to occupy his lips now they were lonely. He strolled out of the sliding double doors before he could be scolded and turned his collar up against the Jersey cold. There was no guessing what would happen now, so why stress. He just puffed away at his cigarette and closed his eyes to remember the smell and warmth of the nape of Gerard's neck and wished to go back to their dorm room again for just one more night. He would make it count.

He couldn't help but sigh again. Next step would be a year and a half later when he would finally get to see Gerard again. He wouldn't even allow himself to ponder the fear of how things might be different because he knew that at least his feelings would be the same. So, here was to the next year.

So long Love, he thought.