FicWad

Hey youuu guuuyyysss! (If you haven’t seen the Goonies... you suck! Go watch it xD)
So, just a quick little notelet to say thank you all so so much for your kind words, it all really helped the past couple weeks :] I’m really happy to let you all know that my friend is much better, it’s still a long hard road to recovery but he certainly is much happier so I feel like now is a good time to take this baby off hiatus and carry on :D I also just wanna say (and feel free to skip this part if I’m boring the crap outta ya) that I know counsellors and such get a pretty bad rep on these kinda sites, hell, even I’ve written about evil counsellors/psychiatrists before but my friend has really been helped by them so... just wanted to say that xD
And now I’m gonna shut up and let you read my shit, so thanks again and I love you all :3
xoxox

Frank’s heart was racing so fast he was sure any normal human would be able to hear it let alone Gerard. He couldn’t believe he had let something so stupid let slip. This was possibly one of the most damaging things he could have ever said. Only half an hour ago he had been utterly convinced Gerard had been using him all along, that he had been a naive, stupid kid to have fallen for him. He had called him a monster. He hated him. He needed to hate him... Yet he had been stupid enough to say that.

“G – Gerard... I... I, did I say that? Pfft, I never said that. I didn’t say anything.” He scoffed, laughing nervously as he tried to brush it off and Gerard quirked an eyebrow, shaking his head.

“I didn’t say you’d said anything.” He pointed out softly, Frank giving a tiny ‘oh’ before he bit his lip and sank down into the sheets.

“Well I... I... Gerard?” He squeaked, watching in horror as Gerard sighed and slid out of the bed. He padded quietly across the room and stood naked in front of the wardrobe, rooting through the clothes before pulling on some jeans so tight it was only thanks to his inhuman strength that he slid into them effortlessly. They also left very little to the imagination and made Frank curse his stupid human reactions as his stomach tingled. “Gee?”

Gerard ignored him, remaining silent as he pulled on a loose Iron Maiden tee and walked to the door. Frank could feel his heart cracking in his chest, as if it was made of glass and had been struck too hard to remain together. His lungs felt tight, he couldn’t breathe properly and he couldn’t control the tears that began to track down his cheeks. He had been right. Gerard didn’t love him, never even liked him. He had just been using him this entire time, and now Frank had shown how attached he was and Gerard wouldn’t even use him anymore. He would send him home and – hell, not even that. He’d probably just kill him.

“Gerard wait –” Frank croaked, sitting up and pulling the blankets around him, stumbling across the floor after the vampire but Gerard slammed the bedroom door shut and locked it before Frank was even halfway there. “GEE!” He screamed, breaking into a run and slamming full whack into the door. He pounded hard against it with his fists, crying loudly as he begged the vampire to come back. But Gerard was far gone by now and only time would tell when he would return.

Frank sobbed softly and slid down the wood of the door, pulling the silky duvet around his shoulders and burrowing deep down within it, hiding in the darkness it created and curling into a ball on the floor. It was over. It was all over. He had just destroyed the one thing that had made him happy. What did it matter if Gerard only wanted him for his blood? He wanted Gerard and he’d be with him by any means he could.

“Gee... Gee come back...” He whimpered into the carpet, gripping at the rough fibres as he cried softly. Had he made him mad? Or just amused him? Was he going to come back? Was he going to leave Frank locked in here forever? Didn’t he care about him at all?

>X<

Christine bit at her nails as she paced back and forth in the hospital waiting room. Her head was spinning so much she couldn’t think straight. The only thing she could think was “Bob... Bob...” over and over again. It felt like she had been waiting for days, desperate for some news but unable to get anyone to tell her anything. A nurse had come out maybe two hours previous to let her know he was still in the operating theatre but wouldn’t tell her anything about his progress or lack thereof. It was like no one cared that she was his mother, no one cared that she was worrying sick. She just wanted to know if she was going to lose him, she wanted know if she needed to call a priest.

“No...” She moaned, gripping her hair tightly and clenching her teeth as she tried not to cry. If she let one single tear slip then she would just break down completely and she couldn’t do that. Not now. Not here. Not whilst Bob needed her. She wouldn’t think about the priest, wouldn’t even consider the fact that her son could be dying. He couldn’t die. He wouldn’t. He was too strong for that, there was just no explanation for him to die.

There was no explanation for him to be here at all.

The doctor had said he was displaying all the symptoms of major blood loss. He had checked his entire body for wounds and found lengths of scars and cuts down his arms. Christine knew Bob used to cut his wrists, but some of them were clearly only a couple weeks old. She had had no idea he had been getting depressed again, he had seemed happy enough. But the doctor was confused, the cuts were too old and too shallow anyway to have caused his blood loss. There were no blood stains anywhere in the room, no lacerations on his body. It was almost as if the blood had just... disappeared.

Christine groaned and sank down onto one of the hard, plastic chairs in the waiting room. She kept thinking back to the strange line that went across Bob’s throat. It hadn’t been there the last time she had seen him, it had only been there once he got sick. It looked like an old cut, a really old cut. Months old in fact. But month old wounds didn’t just appear over night. Nothing was making sense and it was driving her crazy.

>X<

Gerard sighed as he sat outside the manor, enjoying the scent of the flowers in the garden, shielded from view from any of the windows of the manor by a large cherry blossom tree. He was feeling a little sluggish, warm and full from all the blood and the... extra activities. He could have quite happily fallen asleep outside in the warm garden, but he supposed he shouldn’t leave Frank alone too long. His sensitive hearing could still pick up the faint noise of the boy sobbing in the bedroom and it was getting a little irritated.

Gerard didn’t see why Frank had to make a big deal out of the love thing. Or get so distraught about the fact he had walked away. He had just... wanted to go out and get some fresh air for a while. It wasn’t the end of the world. But then he supposed he had put Frank on an emotional rollercoaster that day, so his hormones would be all over the place.

“Pfft, he’s worse than a woman.” Gerard scoffed to himself, picking at the grass with a sigh. He had thought Frank would be worrying about Bob straight away once he came back to his senses, but Bob seemed to be far from his mind. Not for long though, Gerard was going to make sure of that. He needed to distract Frank from these odd illusions. They had an agreement, a contract if you will. Frank got the sex and the boyfriend he had always wanted and Gerard got all the blood he could gorge himself on. It was a fair, fun deal and emotions didn’t come into it. Hell, Gerard hadn’t let emotions get in the way of anything for a very long time.

Gerard sighed and looked up at the canopy over his head, wondering back to when he had last been in love. He had liked plenty of humans over the time. Even been very fond of some. He had cared for some and had small relationships over the centuries, but you couldn’t get attached to a human. It was too much pain and trouble on both sides. He knew now that Darius had never intended to stay with him forever. Of course not, he had been suicidal and had picked Gerard up for a final bit of affection before the end.

Gerard supposed it hurt him to think of it in that way, but centuries had numbed the pain and he understood it so much better now. When he thought of his maker now he thought in fondness, still deeply in love with the man that had given him this dark gift. He had never loved since then.

>X<

Bob still couldn’t feel the shocks that were being pushed into his body, the doctors surrounding his form shouting commands to one another. Were they saving him? Was it working? He couldn’t tell. He didn’t really care. It had been frightening at first but now he just felt strangely calm, everything happening was like an out of focus movie playing behind a glass screen. He couldn’t really see it, couldn’t really hear it. He just knew it was happening and wanted it to stop.

He sighed and felt a little lonely when no oxygen filled his lungs. That reassuring gasp of breath not really existing and it made him feel even more dead. But at least he was feeling something. That was bound to mean he was alive right?

Wrong.

Bob knew he was dead. He could see his lifeless form on the gurney. He could hear the faint sting of the flat line. He supposed he should feel sad about it, remember all the people he would be leaving behind but when he tried to recall their names they slipped his mind. Ghosting out of his thoughts before he could seize them. Those people were nothing now, just like him.

Bob looked about and could see the scene changing, the colours fading away and the images along with it. Soon it would be all black... and yet it wasn’t black. It wasn’t really any colour. It was like the opaqueness of glass, only there was nothing behind it to see. It was see through... looking on on more see through. Everything was just... nothing.

So was this death? Nothingness. No heaven. No hell. No ethereal form with which he could glide through walls and will objects to move. Bob wondered if perhaps he should feel sad about that. He was sure that once he had believed there was something but he couldn’t remember what now. Perhaps a person... a place. Somewhere to go. Someone to see. Questions that would be answered. It was all so vague now. Everything was so vague. He couldn’t even remember who he was anymore... What he was.

What was he?

>X<

“G – Gerard... Ger – ard...” Frank was still sobbing into the carpet as if his world was ending, desperately praying that Gerard would return soon. He didn’t care what he said or what he did to him, just so long as he returned. Frank would give him anything he wanted. He would give him his life if that was all that was worthy. He only knew he couldn’t go on if Gerard left him. He wouldn’t survive without him.

“GERARD!” He screamed into the carpet, his lung burning from all the crying and his nails ached from all the scratching at the floor. He was beyond himself with sorrow, his stomach churning with rage at himself. How could he have been so stupid? “Gerard... Oh God... Gee... G – ”

“Are you just gonna cry there all day?” The smooth voice, though emotionless, was like God shining his heavenly light down onto a lost man. Frank gasped and shivered, slumping into the carpet as his energy deserted him. He felt breathless as his heart beat a frantic rhythm in his chest, his tears stilling slowly and he gave one final dry sob.

“G – Gerard?” He breathed, too tired to move and look from beneath the covers. He didn’t want to look anyway, just in case he was imagining it and Gerard wasn’t really here.

“Get up.” Gerard commanded softly, his angel’s voice shooting some life into the shorter man and Frank slowly moved, first his fingers, then his arms, until slowly... ever so slowly... he forced himself up onto his feet. The silk sheets slipped down his shoulders and followed the line of his arm, spilling like dark water down his tanned frame before bunching around his waist where one hand stayed clinging to it. Gerard sighed and smiled softly, finding his half naked, tear stained, slightly dishevelled boyfriend the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

“Come here.” He sighed, his voice softer now and Frank looked at him in confusion before he mewled and dashed to his arms, crashing into his cool chest and burying his face into his Maiden shirt. Gerard sighed and smiled gently, wrapping his arms tight around the human and laying a hand gently on the back of his head, letting him nuzzle his face against the fabric of his shirt.

“Gee... I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said, I didn’t mean it.” Frank whimpered, just desperate to take back his words so that Gerard stayed with him. They had such a good thing going on, Frank didn’t care if he didn’t love him. He didn’t care. He just wanted to be with him.

“Oh Frankie, I know you did mean it.” Gerard chuckled, smirking softly as he tipped Frank’s face up to look at him, his thumb brushing slowly across his cheek bone. “You shouldn’t love me though Frankie. It’s poisonous.” He whispered, his voice suddenly warm, his eyes full of concern and in Frank’s fragile, love starved state he took it for the affection he was after and flung his arms tighter around Gerard’s body, pressing tight to him and tiptoeing up to kiss him deeply.

“I don’t care. I don’t care if it’s poisonous. I love you anyway.” He breathed, pressing even tighter to him and pushing his tongue into his mouth. Gerard gasped a little and chuckled, shocked by Frank’s daring but he loved it. He sighed and pulled Frank’s hand away from the sheets so they dropped to the floor and he slid his hand round to squeeze his bare ass gently. Frank sighed and moaned into his mouth, breaking from his lips with a small smile.

“Gee... does this mean you love me too?” He asked softly and Gerard sighed, shaking his head. He quickly stopped when he saw Frank’s face fall and laid a finger over his lips, smiling gently.

“Frankie... I don’t think we should think about love just yet.” He said as kindly as he could. He had never had to let someone down easy before so he wasn’t sure how to do it. Frank didn’t look very happy about his attempt to steer the conversation away from their feelings.

“Why not?” He demanded softly, his eyes sparkling with fresh tears and Gerard groaned. He couldn’t handle another crying outburst.

“Well... Because... We should be thinking about Bob, shouldn’t we?” He asked, Frank gasping loudly as soon as the words slipped from his lips.

“Oh shit – Bob! I... I completely forgot I... You made me forget about him! You distracted me!” Frank shouted, smacking Gerard’s chest weakly before he hugged him tight again, burying his face into his neck. He didn’t know what to feel right now, what to think. He was suddenly panicky again but he didn’t have the energy to act on it. He just wanted Gerard to hold him and tell him he loved him... he just wanted to hear those three little words. Even if they were a lie.

“Frankie, I think we should go to the hospital.” Gerard sighed softly, gently stroking Frank’s hair. He was surprised Frank hadn’t got really angry at him yet and he was going to do his best to make sure he didn’t get mad. As much as he enjoyed watching Frank get irritated he knew when not to take it too far.

“What?” Frank whimpered, looking up at him in shock. “Why?” He squeaked, Gerard hushing him gently and picking up the duvet, sliding it round his shoulders to cover him up again before he gently guided him to where his clothes lay.
“Well, honey... if you wanna see Bob, that’s where you’ll find him.” He explained tenderly, picking up his clothes and dressing Frank as if he were a child, Frank’s eyes wide with horror.

“The... The hospital? How do you know that?” He croaked, his sanity clinging on by a thread. Too much had happened in the last day, he had swung through too many emotions to carry on taking shocks. He knew Bob could be dying but to be in hospital just confirmed it and he couldn’t take it. “Gerard how do you know!?”

“Because that’s the only place they’d be able to save him! Just calm down okay, I’m gonna take you to see him.” Gerard snapped firmly, Frank clamping his lips shut obediently though he trembled from the effort. Gerard sighed and cupped his face, kissing him gently before he continued dressing him, Frank bowing his head and whimpering softly. He didn’t know what to think anymore, he just wanted to go and see Bob... he just wanted to see his best friend...

And he wanted his boyfriend to love him.

>X<

Bob had laid down at some point though he couldn’t remember ever doing it. In fact he hadn’t even been aware of himself at all until just a moment ago. But now, though he couldn’t see anything, he was aware that he was here. That he was a being of some sort, and that he was on his back.

Bob sighed and jumped in shock when he felt his lungs expand within him. The feeling was strange but incredibly welcome and it woke him from whatever stupor he had been in. He gasped and choked on the oxygen, coughing loudly and his lungs rattled with saliva. It hurt but it was so good to feel anything that the pain was like sweet bliss.

“Unnn... mmph...” Bob groaned and turned his head from side to side, trying to see something. Anything that broke up the darkness but there was nothing. Was he blind? Was he just not alive yet?

“Bob?... Bob... Can you hear me Bob? Can you open your eyes for me?”

Bob groaned again and tried to process the words in his head. The first thing he realised was that he didn’t recognise the voice. It was male from what he could tell, but it didn’t sound familiar. He couldn’t tell what it was coming from either, it seemed to just resonate over him like the voice of God. Maybe it was God, Bob didn’t think anything could shock him anymore. Bob sighed and swallowed thickly, his throat burning and raw. He realised that next before he finally clicked on what the voice had said.

His eyes were closed.

Bob’s heart missed a beat when he realised this and he quickly worked to open them. For a long moment it felt like he couldn’t remember how, but then they twitched, they fluttered.. he located them in his mind and managed to click his mental processes to the muscle that pulled them up and with a soft sigh of relief he managed to open them.

“There you are. Welcome back Bob, someone up there must really love you.” The voice said and Bob blinked slowly, the face of the speaker slowly coming into view with a golden halo around their head. He stared with intrigue at the person, the halo bright and bold but seeming to flash every few seconds. It took a long time for him to realise it wasn’t a halo but in fact just the glow from lights on the ceiling.

“W – W –” Bob tried to ask where he was, registering that he was being pushed down a corridor of some sorts on a bed or something, but in his hazy mind it didn’t make sense. The man leaning over him smiled and hushed him gently, telling him to relax and Bob happily agreed, his aching body sinking back into unconsciousness as the surgeon pushed him to a ward and adjusted the oxygen mask over his face. The kid was one lucky son of a bitch, he had flat lined for a full three minutes and they thought they wouldn’t get him back, but he had pulled through. They didn’t know how... but he had.