FicWad

Waking up the next morning in his cold bed, feeling foggy, and like he dug through six feet of soil was, needless to say, a peculiar sensation. Gerard wiped the sleep from his eyes and suddenly felt a deep writhing in his stomach. He knew he had a bad night, but was the guilt really affecting him so quickly, he mused?

When he picked up his phone, he remembered the evenings date with Frank and disaster it became. He opened their on-going argument and his stomach again felt like prey for a boa constrictor. His last message shortly told Frank what happened between them was just the effect of drugs and curiosity. In fact, in an earlier message he blamed the entire relationship on him, and if it had not been for his persistence they would just be friends. Frank of course didn't take any of the accusations lightly. In the end, he assured Gerard that if he didn't want to know him he didn't have to. He said, "I release you from responsibility of ever loving me."

For Frank, he ended their fight civilly. He can be quite vicious when defending himself or in anger. Knowing this about him struck Gerard deeper because that meant that Frank cared, and in actuality would acquiesce rather than hurt Gerard. It was enough to make tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

Why do we always hurt the ones we love most? He thought angrily, biting his lip to keep from crying. Frank never deserved to be hurt over this; he fell in love and what, remained faithful? How was that fair?

Instead of your standard flowers for forgiveness, Gerard assembled an irresistible basket of Frank’s favorite candy and to top it off a stuffed puppy which he attached a note to its collar which read, "I'm a real boy!” He hoped by making him smile, Frank might at least let him apologize, but knowing his sassy temperament he might also chuck the whole thing at Gerard’s car.

Frank ignored the doorbell for a while but when the caller appeared persistent, he opened the door looking like he had not slept all night. He picked up the puppy, put it under his arm and nudged the basket as if it was a bomb. Gerard hid behind the hedge at the edge of the porch.

“Gee, just come here." His voice was raspy and disheartening far from angry but obviously full of hurt. Gerard wished he could teleport home and wallow in shame from the safety of his house, but he took a breath and came out. Standing in front of Frank, he hid his face with his bangs. Looking down he suddenly felt his present was a terrible idea.

-What the fuck was I thinking? He cursed.

Franks feet shuffled impatiently.

“What is this, Gerard?" He demanded. For always being the light hearted one, he was suddenly intimidating. Gerard made a peculiar sound in his throat and choked on his words. "You put it here. So what? You're sorry right?"

“Yeah, I'm really fucking sorry."

“Sorry for what Gerard?" Now it sounded like he was gaining momentum. "For what you said or what you did, turning your back on our entire relationship? You’re sorry for regretting me, right? And you're sorry for hurting my feelings?" He only nodded solemnly like a guilty child.

“Ah, right, you're just sorry and don't want to lose the friendship. Fuck that! Fuck what I feel, fuck you! I supported you leaving for school. I practically sent you for Christ’s sake! I didn't wait for you, but I sure as hell can't deny missing you. I miss you, and I bet you're sorry about that too. It's killing m-me." Franks eyes would have struck Gerard dead if they could when he finally looked up. They were red and brimming with tears and his heavy eyebrows pulled together angrily. He wanted to comfort him, but when he reached out Frank flinched away.

“I never-"

"Shut up!" He yelled. He threw the stuffed dog inside his house and turned again on him, stepping closer looking ready for a fight.

“Don’t just come back here after a year and say you're trying to find yourself and say you still want me. Don't come over here the next morning apologizing for your bullshit, just don't. Don't- don't-" Gerard fought him but held tight and pulled Frank to him, holding him until he settled. He pounded his tattooed fists on Gerard’s warm chest feebly, letting his tears seep his black shirt. "Please, don't tell me you don't love me. Don't fuck with my head like that. I know that you love me." Gerard’s heart tore at the seam.
What had he done? Franks fingers pulled at his face and moved his bangs, forcing him to look into his startlingly hazel eyes. Frank had the most perfect eyes Gerard ever saw. They were captivating and sublime; in them he found perfection and love.

“Gerard, kiss me." He breathed, pulling himself up on his toes to reach his down turned face.

“Frankie-" he slid his lips over Frank’s hot and moist mouth without further protest. Kissing him mournfully, he wrapped his arms around his small waist and held him securely. Gerard stumbled backwards a step and tripped over the basket scattering the sweets but held fast to Frank and gathered him back up when they hit the doorway.

They broke away for a breath of air, "kiss me." Frank demanded again, fisting Gerard’s shirt desperately.

They clung together leaning into the door heavily, ignoring when it swung again and whacked the wall violently. Their kissing increased passionately while they clumsily grabbed at each other. Gerard bit Franks lip ring and sucked on it roughly earning a stifled groan. He loved the delicious way he could play with the fatty part of his bottom lip where the metal loop laced through and he never complained about pain. Franks breath was hot and humid against his face, but his mind was serene like when he sang on stage instead moving out of impulse. He only became aware when Franks hand slowly slid the length of his body and pressed against his inner thigh pressing in and up for friction.

“Ba-" he gasped. "by, hon." He took the chance to catch a few cool breaths.

“Come inside." Part statement, part question, Frank's doleful eyes looked up at him. Although lust ruled his body, the cogs of his mind began to link and work simultaneously each one connected to a string that pulled at his heart in contradicting directions. His hands moved from around Frank's waist, pulled his hands away and began to caress him slowly. He studied him intently, absorbing the sensory information.

The temperature of Frank's burning skin, the sweat forming on his temples. He pressed his hand to his chest and counted the number of times it rose and fell with each deep breath, and the number of times his heart beat rapidly beneath it. He ran his palms over the beautifully colored tattoos on his forearms, biceps and fingered the scorpion on his neck; Frank tilted his head and closed his eyes in pleasure. With his eyes open, Gerard slowly kissed his salty lips, nibbling gently and enjoying the way they plumped into position after stretching. Finally he held his perfectly shaped face in his hands, and gently ran his thumbs over the feathery softness of Frank's eyelids and again over his eyebrows following the perfectly articulated arches to their tips. He paused.

Frank's body tingled with anticipation, eyes still closed, enjoying the lovely examination. He sighed deeply to slow his erratic heart. He couldn't explain the immense sense of calm he felt cradled in Gerard's calloused hands, although his body and extremity seemed to understand enough.

"Frankie, Hon?" He opened his eyes. "I can't come inside with you." He expected him to erupt in anger, but Gerard pet him into submission. Frank merely sighed again with disappointment.

"Why not? Don't you want to? Don't you want me?" He felt as if he were pouting like a sullen child. Nevertheless, he was being tempted with something he desired to closely and continuing to be denied.

"Frank, I love you in a way I don't understand and more than I could explain, but my head's not in the right place. My heart is not in one piece for me to give, and you're right, I shouldn't fuck with your head." He touched their lips together in a lingering embrace.

"Is that our last kiss?" He smirked deviously and leaned forward again, but instead kissed the corner of Frank's pouting lips and then again the center of his cheek.

"I never hope a certain kiss is our last one." Frank nodded and turned his head, planting two more kisses on the hilt of Gerard's palms. He then pulled his face away from them and then pushed them together.

"Keep that. I'll keep the faith." He smirked back, and took a step away from him, giving way for Gerard to leave. Before moving on, he kindly gathered the scattered remnants of Frank's gift and placed it just inside the doorway. They parted with the gentle pulling of their hearts from one another, long fully looking back as Gerard turned to his car and Frank shut his door between them.

Inside, Frank found the stuffed dog and kissed its head, letting the fur dry his eyes. Giving it a playful pat on its inanimate head, he left it waiting by the door, looking towards the porch as if waiting for someone to come home. He scratched at the tattoo on his back and smirk deviously again muttering to himself, "Keep the faith."