Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance
The Dark Side of eHarmony
3 reviewsAfter searching online dating sites, Gerard meets a strange Jamaican girl from New Orleans.
1Funny
Relief washed over me when my date finally showed up. I thought she’d decided not to come, maybe thought I was too short or chubby for her. Even when Isis smiled down at me, I still felt dorky and inadequate. For one, I was just a mere 5’8 next to her impressive height of 6’. I only wore a simple black 3-piece suit with a tie, while Isis was dressed in short tight, black dress with a gold corset belt and several rips and tears. Her Egyptian ankh earrings dangled elegantly from her ears, gold and baroque gems adorned her hands and neck and her black lipstick and gold eyeshadow made her look like even more exotic.
“Hi, you’re Isis right?”, I said standing up to meet her a little too eagerly. I could hear my voice crack with excitement. I was already making a fool of myself.
“Hello, and you must Gerard?”, Isis said shaking my hand. I was surprised to hear a Jamaican accent escape her lips. “I’m sorry I’m late!”, she apologized.
“Oh no, it’s okay.”, I said gesturing for her to sit down in the booth.
“No, it was so rude of me to worry you when you came all the way here just to see me.”, Isis insisted. She continued to talk as I stared at her like a puppy. Her skin was just smooth and coffee colored. Her eyes were a pretty light brown eyes and her lips were full and pouty and went well with her cat-like nose.
“So, where are you from?”, I asked trying to not seem like a total vegetable.
“Well I lived in Jamaica until I was eighteen then I moved here to go to college in New Orleans.”, Isis replied. “Where’s your accent from? The New England states?”
“Yeah, I’m from Jersey.”, I said nodding.
“I see, you don’t look like the Staten Island type though.”, she said sizing me up. That made me blush.
“Yeah, I try not to tan too much, it’s bad for the skin, really.”
“Ah, so what do you for a living back at home?”, Isis asked. I was worried about how she would take the answer. Comic book author didn’t exactly scream sexy to most women these days. But Isis was ecstatic to hear my answer.
“That’s so cool, what kind of comics do you write? Have you been published yet?”, Isis pried.
“Well, it wasn’t really big, I just write your standard super hero comics. I didn’t actually draw the art, just designed the rough sketches and plotted the storyline.”, I said modestly.
“That’s still really amazing of you to do that and actually publish.”, my date praised.
“Thank you, oh by the way did you want to order some drinks?”, I said, I was nervous that I would run out of things to say.
“Of course, you need to loosen up a bit!”, Isis said beckoning over a waiter. She ordered us two Pinia Colodas and some sirloin steaks.
While we talked I could feel Isis rubbing her foots against my leg underneath the table. I tried not to let her see me tense up at that. I must have failed at that, she only let out a loud laugh and told me I was adorable.
“So, what do you like to do for work?”, I asked trying to stay cool.
“I work for the stage crew at the local theater, you know, I help create the scenery and props for plays and musicals.”, Isis explained.
“That sounds like fun.”, I replied. Oh God, I must have sounded so boring to her.
“Do you like plays?”, Isis asked after she finish her second drink. I however was on my third, desperately trying to shake my nervousness.
“I’m more into, uh rock operas I guess you could say. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”
“I love that one! It will never grow old to me.”, Isis exclaimed.
Now we went on for an hour about musicals, then somehow we got on the subject of porn. I think Isis had to go and bring it up.
“What do you think about the affect of porn on today’s relationship. Do you think it gives couples and young people a false image of sex?”, she asked. I was a bit shaken by her question.
“Well yeah, most of the women aren’t even natural. I mean, I’d much rather see someone like you in a porno.”, I said, but I didn’t mean for that last part to slip out.
“Are you saying you want to see me in porn?”, Isis asked smiling.
“Uh, well-.”
“What kind? Would you be in it too?”
“Sort of, I mean, you look like the type of girl you’d see in one of those bondage videos.”, I was letting the alcohol take over my brain now, I really should have shut up.
“Bondage? Are you into bondage?”
“Not a whole lot, but you’d be a great dominatrix!”, Oh God shut up Gerard!, I told myself.
“And would you be my submissive?”, Isis asked excitedly, I think she enjoyed watching me
squirm.
“I wish I could be.”, I admitted. Isis smiled bigger
And the next thing I know we’re in her car, riding to her apartment.
“Hi, you’re Isis right?”, I said standing up to meet her a little too eagerly. I could hear my voice crack with excitement. I was already making a fool of myself.
“Hello, and you must Gerard?”, Isis said shaking my hand. I was surprised to hear a Jamaican accent escape her lips. “I’m sorry I’m late!”, she apologized.
“Oh no, it’s okay.”, I said gesturing for her to sit down in the booth.
“No, it was so rude of me to worry you when you came all the way here just to see me.”, Isis insisted. She continued to talk as I stared at her like a puppy. Her skin was just smooth and coffee colored. Her eyes were a pretty light brown eyes and her lips were full and pouty and went well with her cat-like nose.
“So, where are you from?”, I asked trying to not seem like a total vegetable.
“Well I lived in Jamaica until I was eighteen then I moved here to go to college in New Orleans.”, Isis replied. “Where’s your accent from? The New England states?”
“Yeah, I’m from Jersey.”, I said nodding.
“I see, you don’t look like the Staten Island type though.”, she said sizing me up. That made me blush.
“Yeah, I try not to tan too much, it’s bad for the skin, really.”
“Ah, so what do you for a living back at home?”, Isis asked. I was worried about how she would take the answer. Comic book author didn’t exactly scream sexy to most women these days. But Isis was ecstatic to hear my answer.
“That’s so cool, what kind of comics do you write? Have you been published yet?”, Isis pried.
“Well, it wasn’t really big, I just write your standard super hero comics. I didn’t actually draw the art, just designed the rough sketches and plotted the storyline.”, I said modestly.
“That’s still really amazing of you to do that and actually publish.”, my date praised.
“Thank you, oh by the way did you want to order some drinks?”, I said, I was nervous that I would run out of things to say.
“Of course, you need to loosen up a bit!”, Isis said beckoning over a waiter. She ordered us two Pinia Colodas and some sirloin steaks.
While we talked I could feel Isis rubbing her foots against my leg underneath the table. I tried not to let her see me tense up at that. I must have failed at that, she only let out a loud laugh and told me I was adorable.
“So, what do you like to do for work?”, I asked trying to stay cool.
“I work for the stage crew at the local theater, you know, I help create the scenery and props for plays and musicals.”, Isis explained.
“That sounds like fun.”, I replied. Oh God, I must have sounded so boring to her.
“Do you like plays?”, Isis asked after she finish her second drink. I however was on my third, desperately trying to shake my nervousness.
“I’m more into, uh rock operas I guess you could say. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”
“I love that one! It will never grow old to me.”, Isis exclaimed.
Now we went on for an hour about musicals, then somehow we got on the subject of porn. I think Isis had to go and bring it up.
“What do you think about the affect of porn on today’s relationship. Do you think it gives couples and young people a false image of sex?”, she asked. I was a bit shaken by her question.
“Well yeah, most of the women aren’t even natural. I mean, I’d much rather see someone like you in a porno.”, I said, but I didn’t mean for that last part to slip out.
“Are you saying you want to see me in porn?”, Isis asked smiling.
“Uh, well-.”
“What kind? Would you be in it too?”
“Sort of, I mean, you look like the type of girl you’d see in one of those bondage videos.”, I was letting the alcohol take over my brain now, I really should have shut up.
“Bondage? Are you into bondage?”
“Not a whole lot, but you’d be a great dominatrix!”, Oh God shut up Gerard!, I told myself.
“And would you be my submissive?”, Isis asked excitedly, I think she enjoyed watching me
squirm.
“I wish I could be.”, I admitted. Isis smiled bigger
And the next thing I know we’re in her car, riding to her apartment.
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