Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Secrets of the heart
“Just as much as Frankie would love to see Gerard in his Peter Pan green tights.” Ray teased and Frankie blushed.
“Shut up! I was fourteen!” He yelled and Ray was snickering along with Gerard. Bob was sitting looking clueless.
“Fwankie used to have a crush on Gee Gee.” Ray cooed and Frankie blushed violently.
“Really? You had a crush on my brother?” I asked, kind of shocked.
“Yes…can we please change the subject?” Frankie begged and I giggled.
“He did look good in the green tights, just in case you were wondering.” I informed him.
“Dude, you’re not meant to check out your brother.” Ray said and I shrugged.
“In those tights, I couldn’t care less, I thought he was a chick till he turned around.” I said, remembering thinking ‘that’s hot’ and then Peter Pan turning around and me thinking ‘eww…that’s my brother’.
“Why wouldn’t you let us come to the show?” Bob asked and Gerard blushed.
“I didn’t want Frank to see me in tights.” He whispered and I howled with laughter.
“Oh, Frankie and Gee liked each other, who’d of thought!” I squealed and Frankie shot me a death glare while Gerard just sat there looking pathetic.
“Shut it, Way.” Frankie said, tickling my side, making me squirm. “I was over him in six months.” Frank said and Gerard looked like a beetroot.
“Okay, for Frankie, six months from when he was fourteen. Gerard?” Ray asked, cringing on the way he sounded like a fourteen year old girl.
“Uhm… Pass?” Gerard asked hopefully.
“Oh no, you are so not getting out of this one. I want to know.” Frank said, actually looking interested.
“Uhm, since I was twelve to about… a year ago?” He mumbled, looking down.
“Shit Gee.” Ray gasped and Frankie looked at me, shocked.
“Wow…umm, are you alright with it now though?” Bob asked, treading carefully on what we all knew was dangerous soil.
“Hmm, yeah, I’m cool with it… you’re not mad are you?” Gerard asked, looking up at us with terrified eyes.
“Gee, we’d never be mad at you. Who you dating at the moment?” Ray asked, lightning the mood some.
“…Bert McCracken.” He mumbled, not daring to meet my eyes.
“You what?!” Frankie hissed, his anger radiating off him, Gerard just whimpered as Frankie stood up and leant over the table, hovering in his face, growls ripping from his throat.
“I-I’m dating Bert.” He whimpered and Frankie grabbed his collar in his fists, lifting him up to his face.
“After what he did to you…what he did to us! Gee, what are you thinking?!” Frank growled, even Bob looked scared.
“He’s changed.” Gerard mumbled and Frankie dropped him down, snarling.
“People like him never change. Never.” Frankie growled and grabbed my arm, pulling me outside. I leant against the bus and he leant on me, wrapping his arms round my waist as mine wrapped round his back.
“I can’t believe it Mikey, what he did to you… I can’t believe this.” Me muttered and I held him close.
“He’s not going to hurt us. We have to let Gerard make his own mistakes, it’s the only way he’s going to grow. You know he won’t listen to us.” I told him, stroking his hair.
“I know…but last time, he hurt you so much. He nearly killed himself! And don’t think that I don’t know what that did to you. I know you Mikey, and I know it was killing you too.” Frankie muttered into my chest…it was true. I had bottled everything up and taken it out on myself, cutting my wrists so I have to wear long sleeves or wristbands. I’d starved myself, I was too worried about Gerard to even eat, and when I was helping him recover, I had to rebuild myself as well. I hid it as well as I could, but Frank had obviously noticed. He was my best friend since child hood, he was my other brother. Gerard was just too fucked up to notice anything other than the band and trying to get better, it wasn’t his fault though. He took anti-depressants and he was addicted, he was also addicted to alcohol, he needed it to feel numb, to forget. Then Bert came along and gave him cocaine, started fucking him up, literally. Who gives someone who’s an alcoholic and is addicted to anti-depressants cocaine? Bert. That’s who.
“Don’t worry about him too much Frankie, he’ll be fine. I’ll make him see sense.” I said, kissing him gently, giving him one last squeeze and walking inside the bus.
“Gerard?” I asked and his head snapped up at my voice. “Let’s chat.” I said, my tone low and dangerous as I held out a hand for him to take. He took it nervously and we stepped outside the bus.
“Why are you dating Bert, Gerard?” I asked him as we sat on the kerb.
“I don’t know.” He mumbled, looking away from me.
“There’s no reason? You don’t love him then?” I asked.
“No. I don’t love him.” He whispered.
“Why then? You know he’s bad news. Why Gerard? Why?” I questions, wanting to know his reasons for dating someone as evil as Bert. Scrub that, Bert is evil incarnate.
“I really don’t know Mikey!” He shouted, throwing his arms up in defensless defeat.
“Is it because of Frank?” I asked, placing a gentle arm on his shoulder.
“No, not at all. I just… I wanted to give Bert a second chance, the benefit of a doubt. You guys have given me a second chance, so I thought that maybe he could change too.” Gerard whimpered, leaning his head on my shoulder.
“Has he changed?”
“No.”
“Are you happy with him?”
“No.”
“Do you love him?”
“No.”
“Then don’t be with him.” I reasoned and Gerard looked up at me.
“Who else would want me though?” He whispered, a few tears escaping his eyes and decorating his beautiful face.
“Gerard, anyone who doesn’t want you is obviously stupid.” I told him, meaning it with all my heart.
“No. I’m just a mess up, I’m worthless.” He said bluntly, like it was a fact recited to him every day as he allowed no more tears to fall and separated our bodies.
“Gerard, you are not worthless. You’re my big brother and you’re an inspiration, a glimmer of hope, you’re looked up to and loved by so many people. Why can’t you see that?” I asked, dismayed of my brothers unhappiness and distrust and disbelief in himself he seems to have been hiding from us, obviously hoping it would all just disappear if he had someone to hang onto. A lifeline. He’d chosen Bert as a life line. This upsets me, makes me more angry than anything that he’d chose that piece of scum over any of us.
“You mean that Mikes?” He asked, a small flicker of hope leaping in his eyes.
“Of course I do Gerard.” I told him and he smiled at me.
“I’m going to call Bert and tell him it’s over.” He said.
“Good for you, bro.” I smiled at him as we walked back onto the bus, sitting down on the sofa and looking over at Ray and Bob.
“Frankie’s sick. It doesn’t look good.” Ray said, grimacing as I heard retching from the toilet.
“Oh God.” I said, getting up and rushing over to the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door.
“Frankie, it’s me, can I come in?” I asked and he groaned.
“No I don’t want you to see me like this Mikey.” He groaned and I scoffed.
“Nonsense.” I said and opened the door, seeing Frankie curled up in a ball and leaning on the wall next to the toilet. He looked green and was sweating but shaking like he was outside shirtless in a snow storm.
“I feel so ill, Mikey.” Frank said and I crossed the room to him, picking him up as best I could and holding him close against me.
“It’s okay Frank, you’ll be fine. You just need some sleep.” I said, carrying him to the common room where there is a big bed that Gerard normally uses when his insomnia gets bad. I lay him down gently on the bed and pulled the thick, soft covers over him.
“Stay with me, Mikey. Please.” He begged, his voice hoarse from throwing up so violently.
“Okay, I’ll be back in a second babe.” I kissed him on the forehead and walked out of the dark room and into the front of the bus.
“Frank’s really sick, this is the worst he’s been in a hell of a long time, I’m going to stay with him, okay?” I said and they nodded.
“Send him our good luck in getting well but we don’t want to be infected with whatever he’s got.” Ray said.
“Yeah, send him bear hugs from Bryar.” Bob said and I smiled, he hadn’t even looked up from playing Donkey Kong.
“Send him love and stuff from me.” Gerard mumbled, not paying attention to the situation as he was busy sketching something.
“Will do, guys.” I promised and walked back into the common room.
Please R&R
I CAN STILL SURF!!!! YAY!!
XXX
“Shut up! I was fourteen!” He yelled and Ray was snickering along with Gerard. Bob was sitting looking clueless.
“Fwankie used to have a crush on Gee Gee.” Ray cooed and Frankie blushed violently.
“Really? You had a crush on my brother?” I asked, kind of shocked.
“Yes…can we please change the subject?” Frankie begged and I giggled.
“He did look good in the green tights, just in case you were wondering.” I informed him.
“Dude, you’re not meant to check out your brother.” Ray said and I shrugged.
“In those tights, I couldn’t care less, I thought he was a chick till he turned around.” I said, remembering thinking ‘that’s hot’ and then Peter Pan turning around and me thinking ‘eww…that’s my brother’.
“Why wouldn’t you let us come to the show?” Bob asked and Gerard blushed.
“I didn’t want Frank to see me in tights.” He whispered and I howled with laughter.
“Oh, Frankie and Gee liked each other, who’d of thought!” I squealed and Frankie shot me a death glare while Gerard just sat there looking pathetic.
“Shut it, Way.” Frankie said, tickling my side, making me squirm. “I was over him in six months.” Frank said and Gerard looked like a beetroot.
“Okay, for Frankie, six months from when he was fourteen. Gerard?” Ray asked, cringing on the way he sounded like a fourteen year old girl.
“Uhm… Pass?” Gerard asked hopefully.
“Oh no, you are so not getting out of this one. I want to know.” Frank said, actually looking interested.
“Uhm, since I was twelve to about… a year ago?” He mumbled, looking down.
“Shit Gee.” Ray gasped and Frankie looked at me, shocked.
“Wow…umm, are you alright with it now though?” Bob asked, treading carefully on what we all knew was dangerous soil.
“Hmm, yeah, I’m cool with it… you’re not mad are you?” Gerard asked, looking up at us with terrified eyes.
“Gee, we’d never be mad at you. Who you dating at the moment?” Ray asked, lightning the mood some.
“…Bert McCracken.” He mumbled, not daring to meet my eyes.
“You what?!” Frankie hissed, his anger radiating off him, Gerard just whimpered as Frankie stood up and leant over the table, hovering in his face, growls ripping from his throat.
“I-I’m dating Bert.” He whimpered and Frankie grabbed his collar in his fists, lifting him up to his face.
“After what he did to you…what he did to us! Gee, what are you thinking?!” Frank growled, even Bob looked scared.
“He’s changed.” Gerard mumbled and Frankie dropped him down, snarling.
“People like him never change. Never.” Frankie growled and grabbed my arm, pulling me outside. I leant against the bus and he leant on me, wrapping his arms round my waist as mine wrapped round his back.
“I can’t believe it Mikey, what he did to you… I can’t believe this.” Me muttered and I held him close.
“He’s not going to hurt us. We have to let Gerard make his own mistakes, it’s the only way he’s going to grow. You know he won’t listen to us.” I told him, stroking his hair.
“I know…but last time, he hurt you so much. He nearly killed himself! And don’t think that I don’t know what that did to you. I know you Mikey, and I know it was killing you too.” Frankie muttered into my chest…it was true. I had bottled everything up and taken it out on myself, cutting my wrists so I have to wear long sleeves or wristbands. I’d starved myself, I was too worried about Gerard to even eat, and when I was helping him recover, I had to rebuild myself as well. I hid it as well as I could, but Frank had obviously noticed. He was my best friend since child hood, he was my other brother. Gerard was just too fucked up to notice anything other than the band and trying to get better, it wasn’t his fault though. He took anti-depressants and he was addicted, he was also addicted to alcohol, he needed it to feel numb, to forget. Then Bert came along and gave him cocaine, started fucking him up, literally. Who gives someone who’s an alcoholic and is addicted to anti-depressants cocaine? Bert. That’s who.
“Don’t worry about him too much Frankie, he’ll be fine. I’ll make him see sense.” I said, kissing him gently, giving him one last squeeze and walking inside the bus.
“Gerard?” I asked and his head snapped up at my voice. “Let’s chat.” I said, my tone low and dangerous as I held out a hand for him to take. He took it nervously and we stepped outside the bus.
“Why are you dating Bert, Gerard?” I asked him as we sat on the kerb.
“I don’t know.” He mumbled, looking away from me.
“There’s no reason? You don’t love him then?” I asked.
“No. I don’t love him.” He whispered.
“Why then? You know he’s bad news. Why Gerard? Why?” I questions, wanting to know his reasons for dating someone as evil as Bert. Scrub that, Bert is evil incarnate.
“I really don’t know Mikey!” He shouted, throwing his arms up in defensless defeat.
“Is it because of Frank?” I asked, placing a gentle arm on his shoulder.
“No, not at all. I just… I wanted to give Bert a second chance, the benefit of a doubt. You guys have given me a second chance, so I thought that maybe he could change too.” Gerard whimpered, leaning his head on my shoulder.
“Has he changed?”
“No.”
“Are you happy with him?”
“No.”
“Do you love him?”
“No.”
“Then don’t be with him.” I reasoned and Gerard looked up at me.
“Who else would want me though?” He whispered, a few tears escaping his eyes and decorating his beautiful face.
“Gerard, anyone who doesn’t want you is obviously stupid.” I told him, meaning it with all my heart.
“No. I’m just a mess up, I’m worthless.” He said bluntly, like it was a fact recited to him every day as he allowed no more tears to fall and separated our bodies.
“Gerard, you are not worthless. You’re my big brother and you’re an inspiration, a glimmer of hope, you’re looked up to and loved by so many people. Why can’t you see that?” I asked, dismayed of my brothers unhappiness and distrust and disbelief in himself he seems to have been hiding from us, obviously hoping it would all just disappear if he had someone to hang onto. A lifeline. He’d chosen Bert as a life line. This upsets me, makes me more angry than anything that he’d chose that piece of scum over any of us.
“You mean that Mikes?” He asked, a small flicker of hope leaping in his eyes.
“Of course I do Gerard.” I told him and he smiled at me.
“I’m going to call Bert and tell him it’s over.” He said.
“Good for you, bro.” I smiled at him as we walked back onto the bus, sitting down on the sofa and looking over at Ray and Bob.
“Frankie’s sick. It doesn’t look good.” Ray said, grimacing as I heard retching from the toilet.
“Oh God.” I said, getting up and rushing over to the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door.
“Frankie, it’s me, can I come in?” I asked and he groaned.
“No I don’t want you to see me like this Mikey.” He groaned and I scoffed.
“Nonsense.” I said and opened the door, seeing Frankie curled up in a ball and leaning on the wall next to the toilet. He looked green and was sweating but shaking like he was outside shirtless in a snow storm.
“I feel so ill, Mikey.” Frank said and I crossed the room to him, picking him up as best I could and holding him close against me.
“It’s okay Frank, you’ll be fine. You just need some sleep.” I said, carrying him to the common room where there is a big bed that Gerard normally uses when his insomnia gets bad. I lay him down gently on the bed and pulled the thick, soft covers over him.
“Stay with me, Mikey. Please.” He begged, his voice hoarse from throwing up so violently.
“Okay, I’ll be back in a second babe.” I kissed him on the forehead and walked out of the dark room and into the front of the bus.
“Frank’s really sick, this is the worst he’s been in a hell of a long time, I’m going to stay with him, okay?” I said and they nodded.
“Send him our good luck in getting well but we don’t want to be infected with whatever he’s got.” Ray said.
“Yeah, send him bear hugs from Bryar.” Bob said and I smiled, he hadn’t even looked up from playing Donkey Kong.
“Send him love and stuff from me.” Gerard mumbled, not paying attention to the situation as he was busy sketching something.
“Will do, guys.” I promised and walked back into the common room.
Please R&R
I CAN STILL SURF!!!! YAY!!
XXX
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