Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco

I Won't Be Afraid As Long As I'm Never Alone

by Katrina_Adams 1 review

[One-shot] Ryden. A bit sad.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres:  - Published: 2011-04-26 - Updated: 2011-04-27 - 427 words - Complete


Ryan sat on the floor, not moving, with his fist clenched around the note. The note was really the last thing Ryan had, that made him feel like Brendon was still there. Even though he wasn't. Brendon left. And left none of his belongings there. Ryan didn't even know why. He woke up in bed, with an empty spot beside him. The note explained it all though. It's all her fault, Ryan said to himself quietly over and over again.

It wasn't fair for Ryan. He was so heartbroken right now. Brendon left to live a happy life with Sarah, while Ryan was sitting there on the floor, with his tear-stained cheeks. Brendon would be happy, while Ryan was miserable. It wasn't fair.

How could he go on? All his life, Brendon was always there. And now he wasn't. Ryan would go to sleep and wake up alone. He would eat his small-portioned food every day alone. Brendon wouldn't be there to give Ryan a good morning or good night kiss. He wouldn't be there to keep Ryan warm at night. He wouldn't be there.

The thought of Brendon not being there anymore made a tear slowly slip down Ryan's cheek and onto his lap. He brought his knees up to his chest, hugging onto them tightly. Ryan couldn't live without Brendon. Brendon always took care of him, no matter what.

Now, it only made Ryan think. Did Brendon fool Ryan all this time? When Brendon said "I love you" to Ryan, did he mean it? Brendon said he would never leave Ryan, he even promised him that. Brendon didn't love Ryan; he loved her. Ryan felt like such an idiot. He wanted to believe that Brendon was probably just not the one. Ryan knew he was though, he loved Brendon so damn much. The thought of Brendon not loving Ryan, hurt Ryan so much. Ryan could actually feel it. The way his heart throbbed with pain whenever he thought of Brendon now. More tears fell down his cheeks, as he was laying on the floor now, staring up at the blank ceiling above him.

Ryan didn't want to get up. He wanted to lay here and be wasted away. Just like Brendon did to him. He used Ryan. Ryan wasted the past year of his life, thinking that he would stay with Brendon forever, just like those happy couples in the movies. But this wasn't a movie. It was real. And the pain was real too. It was all real. Brendon wasn't coming back.

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