Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Dear Agony

Give Me a Reason to Believe

by IsisBane 5 reviews

I'm so tired of writing summaries... I think I'm just going to let you read it and figure it all out for yourself xD

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Humor - Characters: Gerard Way - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2011-05-01 - Updated: 2011-05-02 - 2462 words - Complete

I'm ashamed of myself. I broke down and did what I kept telling myself I would never do. I officially have a Tumblr. I died on the inside when I did it, but I can't seem to leave it alone :P Anyway, the reason I'm writing so much is the fact my favorite story to write with my best friend is finished. The main character is dead, and I think I died with him. We'd been working on this for almost a year, and it's so fucking hard to let go of it. We actually finished the first part of it in September, but it's finally done. I hate how you feel like you connect with a character, and then it's just over. Well, before I annoy you all with my rambling any longer, here's the best thing I've ever written!! (Not really... just saying that so maybe you'll think so and stuff... I'm so very low... xD)

Monty texted me around 7:00 in the morning. Of course, I knew she probably would. I had my phone on vibrate just in case. But I'd set it on my nightstand, so it sounded like a loud grinding noise. Which was why I woke up. The worst part was, in wasn't what I consider a real text. It was just one of those chain things. I could have thrown my phone out the window, if I knew for sure Frank was out there and it would undoubtedly hit him on the head, which would hopefully knock him backwards onto his porch with enough force to cause more brain damage than he already has. But he wasn't out there, because he was peacefully sleeping. Which I wished I was still doing.

Try as I might, I couldn't go back to sleep. Due to the fact that it was daylight, it made it quite a challenge. I rolled over in my bed and came face to face with my clock. 12:42 You know those moments when you're tired and you think something is one way when it's the other? Well, I probably saw a seven on my phone and figured it was about five hours earlier than it really was. How? I'm not sure. That's something that will probably never be explained.

I turned onto my back and stared at my ceiling. Noon meant something. I begged my mind to start working properly so I wouldn't be completely fucked. Without a clue, I dragged myself out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom. I grabbed a towel in mid-yawn and quickly stripped down.

I turned on the water in my shower and stepped under it. A shock of cold ran through my body and I squealed, jumping away from it. I was awake, for sure. My heart was pounding as I gripped the wall, steadying myself.

Shit... I blinked a few times before I realized I was supposed to meet Gerard over half an hour before I even woke up. I quickly adjusted the knobs to a comfortable temperature and stepped back under the spray of water. I didn't have any room for being slow, so I showered in what felt like record time.

As soon as I had a towel wrapped around my dripping body, I opened the door to the bathroom. The cold air made me shudder, but I withstood it. I walked across the hall to my bedroom, and immediately closed my window. I didn't care if it was summer, I still felt like the North Pole had invaded my house.

I flung my closet door open and frantically searched for something halfway decent. I settled on a pair of ratty looking jeans and an old Dr. Pepper tee. Not my best, but I was it a hurry. I got dressed as quickly as possible, then remembered my hair.

I towel-dried it, brushed it, and pulled it back into a frenzied mess behind my head that was originally just meant to be a simple bun. I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and shoved it into my totebag, then slid on my Converse.

Horrified that I had to leave without makeup, and ran out of my house before I rethought my decision and went back inside. I started jogging down the street, praying that he was still there. It had taken twenty minutes just to get in my current condition, and it was already past 1:00.

With no time to take in the scenery, I tried to run through every shortcut possible. The railroad tracks were coming into view, though it would take a few minutes to get to where I was supposed to be.

My thoughts were swirling around in my head. How the hell could I forget to set an alarm or something? I never sleep that late, but that's not excuse. I could have put a reminder on my phone or something. At least to let me know when I had to leave in case I lost track of time. Or overslept.

Maybe it was my stress about my dad that made me sleep later. Not the best notion, but I always brood about things more than I should. I was awake for what seemed like an eternity just wondering how I would see him. I don't think I could explain it to anyone if they asked. My dad was always there when I was younger, and then he just seemed to almost disappear from my life. It was painful to deal with, especially being so young. He took a part of my with him when he left for the first time, and it's never been the same. I felt like I had to grow up. And I did. My childhood faded away swiftly, like a thief in the night. I'll always regret losing myself like that. He didn't come home to his little girl again. It hurt him too, watching me grow up so fast from so far away. And my mom just let it happen. That's another reason why I can't stand her. She'll never know what she did.

I could faintly hear the sounds of a guitar being strummed lightly. I smiled to myself and picked up my pace. He hadn't left. He was right where he said we'd meet.

Gerard came into view and I slowed, wanting to just watch him. He was so fascinating. Every move that he made was different from anything I'd ever seen. I didn't know why. And I probably wouldn't care anyway.

I put a smile on my face as I approached him. He didn't seem to notice me immediately, so I continued to walk. He was sitting it the grass, concentrating on the guitar. His dark hair fell around his face, framing those sparkling hazel eyes. He seemed so engrossed with those chords, that I was surprised when he looked up at me. Gerard grinned and motioned for me to sit next to him. My only thought was how lucky I was that I didn't have to speak just yet.

I silently went over to him, sitting at least two or three feet away. Gerard raised an eyebrow. “I don't bite, sugar.”

I felt my cheeks get hot and I quickly looked down at my hands, as I usually did. “I- I know... I just... I just like my personal space, that's all. I mean, what if I've got a cold or something and I just don't know it yet? I wouldn't wanna get you sick too.”

He laughed. “I think that's a pretty bad excuse. You're a smart girl. Couldn't you come up with something more intelligent?”

I bit my lip and thought for a moment. “Well, I guess I don't like being in close proximity to other people. Of course, it might depend on the situation. But I'm slightly claustrophobic, so that doesn't help much.”

Gerard smiled, rolling his eyes. “The first one's okay, but claustrophobic? You're in a wide-open area. That just doesn't work.”

My head snapped up and I glared at him to the best of my ability. “Do you mind to stop critiquing my reasoning for not being close to you and just do whatever the hell you intended to do?”

He looked at me in mock surprise. “You make it sound like we're not out here just to make music”, he said, smirking.

My eyes widened as I realized just how bad what I had said sounded. I looked back down at my hands and shook my head. “You know that's not what I meant. I just think the quicker we get this over with the better off my mental health will be.”

Gerard nodded. “Yeah, I don't wanna keep you too long.” He flashed me the second genuine smile I'd seen from him in the past five minutes. “That is, unless you want me to keep you.”

My heart pounded rapidly. I began to twist the ring on my finger around. “Um... c-can we please just do this?”

“Alright”, he said, chuckling. “What's a song you're comfortable singing?”

I thought back a few years, trying to remember a song that my dad would sing with me. Every time he came home, he'd teach me a new song on the piano or the guitar, and have me practice so I could sing and play it for him when he saw me again. I'd been doing that for so long, and there were so many songs going through my head. Feeling a rush of confidence, I smiled and looked up at Gerard. “Let me see the guitar.”

I scooted closer to him and he handed it over to me. My fingers grasped the neck, and I felt more comfortable. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me, puzzled. “You can play? I didn't know that.”

I giggled. “You didn't ask.”

I played a few chords, my fingers quickly moving to the different frets. I warmed up a bit, since I hadn't played in a while. I started the intro to the song, playing just a simple F chord and then a B flat. I glanced up at Gerard. “If you know the words, just join in.”

He nodded, still a little shocked that I had taken control so quickly. "If all our life is but a dream, fantastic posing greed, then we should feed our jewelry to the sea. For diamonds do appear to be just like broken glass to me”, I sang quietly, but loud enough for him to hear me. I smiled only to myself, thinking of my dad.

Gerard hummed along but didn't sing. I glanced up at him again, asking my questions with my eyes. He just smiled and motioned for me to continue.

“And then she said she can't believe genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues. Tripping eyes and flooded lungs, northern downpour sends its love...”

I felt my smile fade, and I bit down hard on my lip between the second verse and the chorus. I didn't know why I had chosen this song. It hurt so much. I didn't slow down or anything. I kept going. Feigning a carefree expression, I went on.

“Hey moon, please forget to fall down... Hey moon, don't you go down...”

I just stopped. No warning, not even really in my head. I couldn't sing this for anyone. That's why it hurt me. And I wasn't about to provide an explanation. I carefully handed to guitar back to Gerard. He stared at it, then looked at me. “Cadence? What's wrong? Why did you stop?” he asked, sounding just like my mom had the night before.

I shook my head and stood. “Nothing is wrong. And I stopped because I wanted to.” I then proceeded to do what I do best: walk away and leave the other person confused and wondering. I didn't turn back to look at him again. I had no reason to, at least not at the moment.

But even as I walked, I wasn't expecting him to follow. No one ever did, for their own good. I don't handle myself well in situations of conflict, and this would be considered even worse.

“Cadence! Wait up!” he called. I could hear him coming up behind me and I closed my eyes, almost praying he would go away. I didn’t dare walk faster, though. The last thing I wanted to do was evade him any further.

I didn’t respond to him, and he began to sound more worried as he caught up to me. “Cadence, please tell me what’s going on”, Gerard said, his voice flooded with concern. I tried to ignore him, but it just made it worse. “Was it because I asked you to sing for me? You didn’t have to. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel forced into anything.”

I stopped and so did he. I turned to face him. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Gerard. I wanted to sing for you. But I can’t talk about why I stopped”, I said quietly.

He paused for a moment, thinking. “It’s one of those things you’d only tell someone you’re close to, huh?”

I nodded, feeling a little guilty that I couldn’t tell him. I just wasn’t comfortable sharing my memories with someone I didn’t know that well.

Gerard smiled. “Well, I’ll just have to fix that, won’t I?”

“What do you mean by that?”

He laughed, his eyes sparkling. “I promise you this: by the end of the summer, you and I will know each other better than anyone else knows us. You’ll have no reason to keep this from me.”

I raised an eyebrow. “All of that trouble, just to find out why I suddenly stopped singing and walked away? You’re not going to let this go, are you?” I asked, shaking my head. “Alright. You try to get to know me. We’ll see how long you’ll last.”

“I’ll last longer than you think…” he said, chuckling. He grinned and winked at me, then turned and walked back to where he was.

I wasn’t going back with him, and I knew that for sure. He’d pretty much challenged me. And I sure as hell wasn’t gonna give in without a fight.

This is my last update for at least a week, probably longer. I wanted to get in as many chapters as possible before my schedule becomes way more hectic than it already is. But in the future, I'm gunna try to give myself deadlines to have updates posted. I get extremely lazy sometimes when it comes to writing, and I really have to stop that shit xD
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