Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It Was Just One Night
Frank's POV
It felt great to finally be home. To finally be able to relax without the constant worry that something horrible would happen to either Melody or our daughter. After what happened with the other baby I could never fully relax when Melody wasn't in my line of sight. The only thing I could think was that something equally bad or possibly worse would happen if I couldn't see her. I failed her once and I vowed to myself that I would never fail her again.
Not only did I feel less stressed but to wake up warm and content with Melody wrapped securely in my arms as our baby nudges gently against my palm is the best feeling in the world. No amount of sex, booze, or drugs could ever replace the high I get every time I feel my baby move at the very sound of my voice. Nothing could ever come close to the joy I feel with every smile that graces Melody's beautiful face. Nothing could make my heart flutter the way her melodic laughter does or make my spine tingle like her sparkling icy blues. I can't think of anything I want more than to see Melody happy. To protect her and our child. To provide them with everything they could ever want or need.
I let a smile creep over my face as I tore myself from my thoughts to glance down on Melody's sleeping form. She looked so peaceful, so innocent with her face buried into my bare chest. They way her tiny body meshed with my own was perfect.
My heart ached painfully in my chest with desire, with need. Admittedly, this wasn't the first time I had thought about Melody in ways less than innocent. No, far from actually. It shamed me to admit, even to myself, I desired her in such a way. While it was completely true and obvious we had been intimate with one another in the past things had changed. Now I realize she's just a young, naïve girl who made a mistake and here I am thinking far from appropriate thoughts about her.
Yet, ashamedly, I want to touch her, to feel her. I want to be the one that pleasures her, the one she longs for. I want to know what makes her moan. i want to see her face as she tips over the edge of ecstasy. I want to hear the sounds she makes as that wonderful high descends over her. I want to feel her warmth around me. I want to show her I'm not the same asshole who, unknowingly, stole her last shred of innocence. I want to show her I'm not the same fuck up that caused her so much pain when she should have felt pure bliss.
I have yet to confess to Melody how well I remember that night. I remember just how awful I was to her, how selfish I was. I knew how drunk she was yet I still chose to take advantage of her. I didn't do anything to protect her. I didn't stop to ask questions or to take in consideration her wants or needs. No, I only saw a beautiful girl I wanted to fuck. I only cared about my selfish needs.
Looking back now I think I knew all along she wasn't the typical groupie I usually went for. I think that's what made me want her so fucking bad. Somewhere deep down I think I even knew she was young and naïve yet I just didn't fucking care. It pained me to know just how much hurt I had really caused her in the short amount of time I have known her. I have managed to permanently alter her life at such a young age. I have managed to alienate her from her entire family and take any and all chance at a normal life away from her. She'll never be the same young, carefree spirit she is now once this baby is born. She'll have to constantly care for another human being when she should be out with friends having fun and going to school to get a better education.
Melody shifted, mumbling sleepily against my chest, pulling me from my self-loathing thoughts. I gently brushed the hair from her face and smiled as she snuggled closer to my body.
"Mel?" I whispered softly.
She grumbled sleepily in response and I just didn't have the heart to wake her. I scooped her small frame into my arms, holding her close to my body. She tangled her arms around my neck and nuzzled her face into my neck. I carried her to our room where I lay her down and pulled the comforter around her before crawling in next to her and pulling her against me. She rolled over, facing me and buried her face into the warmth of my bare chest.
"Frankie?"
"Hmm?"
"I, um...." She yawned. "...talk now?" She mumbled tiredly. I shook my head and pulled her closer.
"In the morning, baby, just sleep now." I murmured, kissing her forehead softly and rubbing her tummy gently, receiving a few swift kicks in return which caused me to smile.
She nodded, relaxing, her body melting against mine. Just minutes later I heard her soft, even breaths indicating she had drifted into sleep. I followed soon after, drifting into a guilt-ridden slumber of unclean thoughts.
*
When I woke the next morning I felt as if I hadn't slept a wink. In fact, I felt like I hadn't slept properly in days but waking up with Melody in my arms was worth it. It was so fucking worth it. A smile stretched across my face as I watched her sleep peacefully in the circle of my arms. She looked so innocent, so beautiful. Her silky, black hair splayed messily over the smooth, pale flesh of her cheek. Her small, pink lips parted slightly, allowing shallow breaths to tickle my neck. Her bulging belly lay safely nestled between us.
I gently brushed the hair from her face, trailing my fingers lightly down her cheek and across her lips. She sighed, nuzzling her face against my fingertips.
"Mmm.....Frankie?"
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah. I'm glad you're back."
"Me too. It feels nice to be with my girls again. I think I am just gonna have to take you guys with me next time. I hate leaving you here."
"That would be nice, Frankie, but um.....I-"
"Did you give any thought to what we talked about last night?" I questioned as I slipped my fingertips beneath the hem of her shirt and traced soothing circles over the smooth, stretched skin. She hummed happily, arching into my touch, causing a smile to spread across my lips.
"It would be so great, Mel. Just you, me, and our daughter. We could even get a puppy or maybe even two. We could find a nice, quiet area with a house and a big backyard. Maybe even a swimming pool. Whatever you want."
I felt her stiffen under my touch and her lips tugged down into a frown. She slowly opened her eyes, revealing to me a gaze of pure sadness laced with what appeared to be regret.
"Fr-Frankie, um....we need to talk." I sighed, nodding for her to continue. She rolled away from me, out of my arms, and sat up on the edge of the bed before turning to face me.
"Frankie, I...I did something stupid while you were away. I made a truly idiotic mistake and I regret it more than anything I have ever done but as the father of my child you deserve to know." She paused, placing a protective hand over her stomach. I covered her hand with my own.
"It's okay, Mel. You can tell me anything and I mean anything, okay?" She nodded shakily and I took her hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"I just need you to promise me one thing, Frankie."
"Anything."
"No matter what happens between us and no matter what the future throws at us..." She paused, turning my hand over and pressing it firmly against her lower abdomen. "...you will never abandon her, Frankie. She is going to need you. She's going to need her father there to love her and protect her and give her guidance. I know you can do that for her. Even if you never speak to me again just promise me that you will never leave her."
I felt my heart sink like lead into the pit of my stomach as a single tear slipped from her left eye and trickled slowly down her cheek. The overwhelming sadness radiating from her eyes alone was enough to make my heart ache painfully in my chest. My grip on her abdomen where our beautiful baby lay tightened and a fierce feeling of protectiveness swelled within me.
"I swear to you that no matter what happens I will never, ever abandon our child. This baby means the world to me and I could never do that to her."
"G-Good." She sniffled. "Fr-Frankie, I....I-I.....I-I....slept with G-Gerard."
My hand recoiled so fast from her stomach it was if it had burned me. I felt my heart stop beating in my chest before thudding painfully against my ribcage. I could feel my mouth hanging open in shock and my eyes nearly bulging from my skull. The hurt coursing through me was like ice encasing my heart, leaving me painfully numb.
"I-I....Mel, w-why?"
"Fr-Frankie, I'm s-sorry. I don't have any excuse. I just wanted to feel l-loved and I know it was wrong and I....I did it anyway. I'm so fucking s-sorry."
The anger that boiled through my veins was like fire thawing out the chunk of ice my heart had momentarily become. Just knowing Gerard had felt her, touched her, been inside of her the way I so often longed for made me fucking sick. The desire to smash Gerard's face in was overwhelming. Not only had he been inside her, touched her, felt her but he had fucked her with my fucking child inside of her.
I stood from the bed, pacing frantically as the thoughts consumed my mind. Pain radiated through my skull before I realized my hands were buried within my hair, tugging fiercely. Melody's sobs pierced through my thoughts and I turned to face her once again.
"Am I not good enough for you?! Do I not show you enough love?! Do I not make you feel wanted and loved?! Why, Melody, why?! Why the fuck did it have to be Gerard?! I thought you were fucking happy!"
"I'm s-sorry, Frankie! I wish I could take it back but I can't! You are too fucking good to me, Frankie. I don't deserve you. It's just.....the love you show me isn't as a lover, Frank and that's what I needed or....what I thought I needed. Please don't hate me! P-Please?"
"I can't fucking believe you let him fuck you with my child in your stomach!"
"It was a mistake! I'm s-sorry!"
"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it, Melody! Why him?! Why not me?!"
She took me by surprise as she jumped up and stood nose to nose with me.
"Because you didn't want me! He did! You never fucking wanted me, Frank! You would still be out partying and fucking anything in sight if this baby wasn't growing inside me!"
"But I'm not! I fucking changed! I changed for you, Melody! For you!"
A look of shock shadowed her face as she backed away from me. I continued to glare angrily at her.
"Fr-Frankie, I.....I-I.....I didn't k-know."
"Well now you do! Now you fucking know!" I growled. "You know what? I can't deal with this right now. I just can't fucking do this!"
I turned on my heel, slid on a pair of jeans, a shirt and my shoes then grabbed my keys and stormed out of the apartment. I just left, left her standing there sobbing for me not to go, not to hate her. I couldn't even stand to look at her at this point. I needed time to think, time to cool down. Time to decided what I should do now.
xo britt
It felt great to finally be home. To finally be able to relax without the constant worry that something horrible would happen to either Melody or our daughter. After what happened with the other baby I could never fully relax when Melody wasn't in my line of sight. The only thing I could think was that something equally bad or possibly worse would happen if I couldn't see her. I failed her once and I vowed to myself that I would never fail her again.
Not only did I feel less stressed but to wake up warm and content with Melody wrapped securely in my arms as our baby nudges gently against my palm is the best feeling in the world. No amount of sex, booze, or drugs could ever replace the high I get every time I feel my baby move at the very sound of my voice. Nothing could ever come close to the joy I feel with every smile that graces Melody's beautiful face. Nothing could make my heart flutter the way her melodic laughter does or make my spine tingle like her sparkling icy blues. I can't think of anything I want more than to see Melody happy. To protect her and our child. To provide them with everything they could ever want or need.
I let a smile creep over my face as I tore myself from my thoughts to glance down on Melody's sleeping form. She looked so peaceful, so innocent with her face buried into my bare chest. They way her tiny body meshed with my own was perfect.
My heart ached painfully in my chest with desire, with need. Admittedly, this wasn't the first time I had thought about Melody in ways less than innocent. No, far from actually. It shamed me to admit, even to myself, I desired her in such a way. While it was completely true and obvious we had been intimate with one another in the past things had changed. Now I realize she's just a young, naïve girl who made a mistake and here I am thinking far from appropriate thoughts about her.
Yet, ashamedly, I want to touch her, to feel her. I want to be the one that pleasures her, the one she longs for. I want to know what makes her moan. i want to see her face as she tips over the edge of ecstasy. I want to hear the sounds she makes as that wonderful high descends over her. I want to feel her warmth around me. I want to show her I'm not the same asshole who, unknowingly, stole her last shred of innocence. I want to show her I'm not the same fuck up that caused her so much pain when she should have felt pure bliss.
I have yet to confess to Melody how well I remember that night. I remember just how awful I was to her, how selfish I was. I knew how drunk she was yet I still chose to take advantage of her. I didn't do anything to protect her. I didn't stop to ask questions or to take in consideration her wants or needs. No, I only saw a beautiful girl I wanted to fuck. I only cared about my selfish needs.
Looking back now I think I knew all along she wasn't the typical groupie I usually went for. I think that's what made me want her so fucking bad. Somewhere deep down I think I even knew she was young and naïve yet I just didn't fucking care. It pained me to know just how much hurt I had really caused her in the short amount of time I have known her. I have managed to permanently alter her life at such a young age. I have managed to alienate her from her entire family and take any and all chance at a normal life away from her. She'll never be the same young, carefree spirit she is now once this baby is born. She'll have to constantly care for another human being when she should be out with friends having fun and going to school to get a better education.
Melody shifted, mumbling sleepily against my chest, pulling me from my self-loathing thoughts. I gently brushed the hair from her face and smiled as she snuggled closer to my body.
"Mel?" I whispered softly.
She grumbled sleepily in response and I just didn't have the heart to wake her. I scooped her small frame into my arms, holding her close to my body. She tangled her arms around my neck and nuzzled her face into my neck. I carried her to our room where I lay her down and pulled the comforter around her before crawling in next to her and pulling her against me. She rolled over, facing me and buried her face into the warmth of my bare chest.
"Frankie?"
"Hmm?"
"I, um...." She yawned. "...talk now?" She mumbled tiredly. I shook my head and pulled her closer.
"In the morning, baby, just sleep now." I murmured, kissing her forehead softly and rubbing her tummy gently, receiving a few swift kicks in return which caused me to smile.
She nodded, relaxing, her body melting against mine. Just minutes later I heard her soft, even breaths indicating she had drifted into sleep. I followed soon after, drifting into a guilt-ridden slumber of unclean thoughts.
*
When I woke the next morning I felt as if I hadn't slept a wink. In fact, I felt like I hadn't slept properly in days but waking up with Melody in my arms was worth it. It was so fucking worth it. A smile stretched across my face as I watched her sleep peacefully in the circle of my arms. She looked so innocent, so beautiful. Her silky, black hair splayed messily over the smooth, pale flesh of her cheek. Her small, pink lips parted slightly, allowing shallow breaths to tickle my neck. Her bulging belly lay safely nestled between us.
I gently brushed the hair from her face, trailing my fingers lightly down her cheek and across her lips. She sighed, nuzzling her face against my fingertips.
"Mmm.....Frankie?"
"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah. I'm glad you're back."
"Me too. It feels nice to be with my girls again. I think I am just gonna have to take you guys with me next time. I hate leaving you here."
"That would be nice, Frankie, but um.....I-"
"Did you give any thought to what we talked about last night?" I questioned as I slipped my fingertips beneath the hem of her shirt and traced soothing circles over the smooth, stretched skin. She hummed happily, arching into my touch, causing a smile to spread across my lips.
"It would be so great, Mel. Just you, me, and our daughter. We could even get a puppy or maybe even two. We could find a nice, quiet area with a house and a big backyard. Maybe even a swimming pool. Whatever you want."
I felt her stiffen under my touch and her lips tugged down into a frown. She slowly opened her eyes, revealing to me a gaze of pure sadness laced with what appeared to be regret.
"Fr-Frankie, um....we need to talk." I sighed, nodding for her to continue. She rolled away from me, out of my arms, and sat up on the edge of the bed before turning to face me.
"Frankie, I...I did something stupid while you were away. I made a truly idiotic mistake and I regret it more than anything I have ever done but as the father of my child you deserve to know." She paused, placing a protective hand over her stomach. I covered her hand with my own.
"It's okay, Mel. You can tell me anything and I mean anything, okay?" She nodded shakily and I took her hand in mine, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"I just need you to promise me one thing, Frankie."
"Anything."
"No matter what happens between us and no matter what the future throws at us..." She paused, turning my hand over and pressing it firmly against her lower abdomen. "...you will never abandon her, Frankie. She is going to need you. She's going to need her father there to love her and protect her and give her guidance. I know you can do that for her. Even if you never speak to me again just promise me that you will never leave her."
I felt my heart sink like lead into the pit of my stomach as a single tear slipped from her left eye and trickled slowly down her cheek. The overwhelming sadness radiating from her eyes alone was enough to make my heart ache painfully in my chest. My grip on her abdomen where our beautiful baby lay tightened and a fierce feeling of protectiveness swelled within me.
"I swear to you that no matter what happens I will never, ever abandon our child. This baby means the world to me and I could never do that to her."
"G-Good." She sniffled. "Fr-Frankie, I....I-I.....I-I....slept with G-Gerard."
My hand recoiled so fast from her stomach it was if it had burned me. I felt my heart stop beating in my chest before thudding painfully against my ribcage. I could feel my mouth hanging open in shock and my eyes nearly bulging from my skull. The hurt coursing through me was like ice encasing my heart, leaving me painfully numb.
"I-I....Mel, w-why?"
"Fr-Frankie, I'm s-sorry. I don't have any excuse. I just wanted to feel l-loved and I know it was wrong and I....I did it anyway. I'm so fucking s-sorry."
The anger that boiled through my veins was like fire thawing out the chunk of ice my heart had momentarily become. Just knowing Gerard had felt her, touched her, been inside of her the way I so often longed for made me fucking sick. The desire to smash Gerard's face in was overwhelming. Not only had he been inside her, touched her, felt her but he had fucked her with my fucking child inside of her.
I stood from the bed, pacing frantically as the thoughts consumed my mind. Pain radiated through my skull before I realized my hands were buried within my hair, tugging fiercely. Melody's sobs pierced through my thoughts and I turned to face her once again.
"Am I not good enough for you?! Do I not show you enough love?! Do I not make you feel wanted and loved?! Why, Melody, why?! Why the fuck did it have to be Gerard?! I thought you were fucking happy!"
"I'm s-sorry, Frankie! I wish I could take it back but I can't! You are too fucking good to me, Frankie. I don't deserve you. It's just.....the love you show me isn't as a lover, Frank and that's what I needed or....what I thought I needed. Please don't hate me! P-Please?"
"I can't fucking believe you let him fuck you with my child in your stomach!"
"It was a mistake! I'm s-sorry!"
"Sorry doesn't fucking cut it, Melody! Why him?! Why not me?!"
She took me by surprise as she jumped up and stood nose to nose with me.
"Because you didn't want me! He did! You never fucking wanted me, Frank! You would still be out partying and fucking anything in sight if this baby wasn't growing inside me!"
"But I'm not! I fucking changed! I changed for you, Melody! For you!"
A look of shock shadowed her face as she backed away from me. I continued to glare angrily at her.
"Fr-Frankie, I.....I-I.....I didn't k-know."
"Well now you do! Now you fucking know!" I growled. "You know what? I can't deal with this right now. I just can't fucking do this!"
I turned on my heel, slid on a pair of jeans, a shirt and my shoes then grabbed my keys and stormed out of the apartment. I just left, left her standing there sobbing for me not to go, not to hate her. I couldn't even stand to look at her at this point. I needed time to think, time to cool down. Time to decided what I should do now.
xo britt
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