FicWad

Frank's POV

The old abandoned park only two blocks from the apartment. The old park with the decaying, wooden fort and ancient rusted slide. The one with the squeaky swings and the paint-chipped merry-go-round. That is where I now found myself. This long forgotten part of town where I recalled so many childhood memories.

As I sank into the less hazardous-looking swing of the two my eyes scanned the now desolate area. Not a single child could be seen. No children crowded the sandbox or waited in line for the slide. No laughter could be heard, only the low whistling of the wind whipping tree limbs back and forth harshly. There was no sunshine to warm tiny faces and conjure bright smiles, only angry, grey rain clouds loomed above. There was not a mother in sight, watching proudly as their child embarked on an adventure of fairy tales and magic.

It depressed me that the only sign of human life in the entire vicinity was leftover debris littering the ground, blowing lazily in the wind. It saddened me to see such a place that was once so full of excitement and wonder had gone to pure waste.

I had had so many good memories of this very park. As a child my mother had brought me here daily. This is where I had first learned about girls and cooties. Of course, now I knew better than that. This is where I had first learned to ride a bike without training wheels. I had fallen and scrapped my knee and my mother had scooped me into her loving arms, cleaned me up, and planted a magic kiss to my 'boo-boo'. It was in this same park I had tasted my first bitter gulp of alcohol and inhaled my first lung full of nicotine. It was this park I had first smelt the sweet scent of marijuana. It was in this very park, on the top level of the wooden fort, I had lost my virginity.

Cindy Abbott. Cindy Abbott, she had been fourteen, one year younger than myself, and she had been beautiful. The image of long, wavy chocolate hair, flawless, pale flesh, and big, innocent, twinkling, emerald eyes flooded my mind. We had both been so young, so carefree, so in love. Or so we thought at the time. She had been so shy yet stubborn. So feisty and strong yet so loving and caring.

A small smile spread across my face as the memories flowed freely through my mind. We had been so awkward, all limbs, teeth, and tongues but in our minds it had been perfect, an act of love. Sadly, she had moved shortly after and I hadn't thought of her since. It's amazing what we interpret as love when we are young. In a way, I suppose, it was love just not the lasting kind.

I sighed heavily, young love was so easy, so carefree. Another distant memory flooded my brain. It was this same park where I had first met Mikey. I had been seventeen, still a senior in high school and Mikey had been eighteen, just one year older than myself. Both of us had been young, dumb, high, and drunk but that hadn't stopped us from forming an unbreakable friendship, a family. Mikey and I had been through nearly everything together. The sex, the drugs, the booze; we had done it all. Only, somewhere along the line, Mikey had changed . He had grown up while I had stayed behind, partying enough for the both of us.

In ways, I regretted all of the wild, crazy antics yet I couldn't bring myself to fully hate my old ways. Had I not been that young, stupid kid I was just months ago I wouldn't have met Melody. I wouldn't have changed and I wouldn't be about to become a father. No, I could never completely hate my old self, just my actions. More than anything, I regret ruining Melody's life but I will never, ever regret the result. I will never regret my daughter.

I closed my eyes, getting lost in the thoughts of what my daughter might look like. Would she have my swirl of green and brown eyes or Melody's icy blues? Would she have chocolate brown locks or dark raven locks? Would she have my slightly tanned skin or Melody's flawless pale skin? I could picture her with long, flowing raven hair and a pale complexion like her mother but with my own hazel orbs. I could picture her running happily from structure to structure as Melody and I watched from the side in content. I could almost hear the childish laughter ring through the air and smell fresh flowers blowing in the breeze.

I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with Melody and our daughter but now it all seemed hopeless. It seemed as if we would bring another lonely child into this world of divided families and split holidays.

An icy splash hit my cheek, pulling me from my thoughts. My eyes snapped open just in time to see the first few drops fall from the sky. I pulled my hood over my head and pushed away from the swing. Anger filled me once again, replacing the depression and self-loathing. I turned away from the park and stalked down the sidewalk. Cold, bitter wind lashed around me, biting at my cheeks and icy rain beat down, soaking me, chilling me to the bone.

I hate her. I hate him. I hate both of them. How could they do this to me? How could the mother of my child and one of my best friends stab me in the back? No, fuck that, in the heart. It feels as if they have plunged daggers straight through my heart and ripped away every shred of trust I had in either of them.

Fifteen minutes later I found myself standing before a small, white house. It was almost as if I was outside of my body, watching from the sidelines. The world seemed to move in slow motion around me as I watched my own ice cold hand deliver two sharp blows to the wooden frame. Footsteps rang through my ears before the door swung open and he stood before me. He looked shocked to see me more than confused. Maybe he knew that I knew now. I'm sure my anger was clearly etched across my face.

"Fr-Frank! You are soaking wet! Get in here before you get sick again!"

I allowed him to pull me inside and shut the door behind us. He disappeared around the corner only to return seconds later holding two towels. I stood stiff, willing myself not to smash his face in as he began to towel me off.

"Frank, what were you thinking?! You are going to be so fucking sick and you're completely soaked." He rambled on and on as he began to shed me of my hoodie and icy cold tee.

"Gerard."

"Frankie, you know you can't do this kind of shit. Mikey is going...."

"Gerard."

"...to kill me if you get sick. What are you even doing here? And why in the hell are you walking around in the ra-"

"Gerard!" I yelled, finally bringing his rambling to an end.

"What?"

Before either of us could think, could even blink my hand circled his throat and his head collided with the wall. Our eyes locked in a fierce gaze. His eyes were wide, shining with fear and confusion while mine glared daggers through his skull. Our faces were mere centimeters apart, both of our breathing labored.

"Fr-Frankie, what are you doing?!"

"How could you do this to me?! I trusted you, Gerard! I trusted both of you!"

"Frankie, please! I'm sorry! It was....I couldn't.....I have no excuse, Frankie, but I am sorry. She's just.....she's different and I couldn't-"

"Shut up! Shut the fuck up!" My fingers gripped tighter around the pale flesh, restricting his oxygen and earning a choked gasp from him.

"Fr-Frank....I-I.....c-can't .....b-breathe!"

"Stay away from her, Gerard! I fucking mean it! Do you understand?"

He clawed hysterically at my hand. I knew I should let him go. Hell, the sane part of my brain was begging me to release him, to let him breath but the angry side, the hurt side growled for me to squeeze tighter. I couldn't seem to get my hand to obey the sane part of me.

"Do. You. Understand. Me?" I growled.

He nodded frantically as salty tears slipped from his eyes and coated my fingers. His face faded from blood red to dark purple and I finally released him. He fell to the ground, gasping for air. It was at that moment as I gazed down on his shaking, choking form that my sanity seemed to return and I realized what I had done.

"Fuck! Gee, are you okay?"

"F-Fine. Just g-go, Fr-Frankie."

"Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't....I was just so angry and I-"

"J-Just g-go!" He snarled.

I took a deep breath and nodded hesitantly. Stupidly, I didn't even bother to grab my hoodie or my shirt. I just left. How had I let things come to this? No matter what Gerard did, he didn't deserve that. I can't believe I let it get that far.

The icy wind wind and freezing rain beat down on my naked torso as I made the trek back to my apartment. As I walked I thought about what Melody had said, about what Gerard had said. It was then that I realized it wasn't either of them that I was truly angry with. It was my own fucking self. It was I that held the blame for this. It was myself I hated, not Melody or Gerard. Yes, I was angry with them but mostly, I was angry with myself. If only I had told Melody how I felt about her then none of this would have happened. If only I had given her the love she needed, the love she deserved this would never have happened. In the end, I know I only have myself to blame.


Okay, I feel like this one isn't that good but I really wanted to get this out to you guys because I am leaving for Orlando in just two hours and I will not be back until Friday. I just didn't want to leave you all hanging any longer. Anyways, I love you all and I will do my best to update as soon as I come back from seeing MCR. Oh, and I am really sorry for any mistakes but I am super pressed for time and I don't have time to proofread. :(

xo britt