Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Full Of Holes.

"You Call THAT A Pole Dance?!" And Other News

by unitedsuck007 10 reviews

Today I learned what it's like to be a stripper.Or to work at Walmart.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Parody - Published: 2011-05-16 - Updated: 2011-05-16 - 546 words

2Moving
Hey guys.This is just some author's note I found in Lauren's MW today,and decided to post it.I'd like to thnak all you guys for your sympathy and stories,your reviews and tributes,they're so sweet,and it's obvious that Lauren was really loved on the site.I showed 'em to her dad,and he started crying.
So yeah.I haven't changed anything-apart from the note-this is just Lauren in her pure,unadulterated weirdness XD Her writing this made me remember the day we did this.
Katherine.


Hey lads,what's happenin?All's good here.This is just my little note thingy,as I'm pretty sure you're aware of.

1.Full of Holes will be updated pretty soon,as soon as RIPLEY STOPS FUCKING POKING ME IN THE BACK WITH HER FUCKING PINK FRILLY PEN.
Sorry about that.Ripley is a friend of mine-a very weird and irritating friend-who keeps fucking poking me in the back while I'm writing this,which is diminishing her chances of attending Oxygen(ultra cool festival held in County Kildare every summer,which this year inludes:
Foo Fighters
Coldplay
The Strokes
Primal Scream
MY CHEMICAL FUCKING ROMANCE DKJBRIGUBH

Funny,as soon as I wrote that she stopped poking me.
Lauren 1,Ripley nil.


2.The title-which I realize is weird,but probably is just a speck of slight abnormality compared to some of the shiz I write-is referring to this little shindig I did with my friends Jennifer and Pizza.Jennifer had gotten dumped the day before,and in a fit of break up-induced feminism,we danced to Pussycat Doll's "I Don't Need a Man" for,I would say,about four hours straight.
In those four hours,I learned:
-I am scarily good at backbends.If you don't know what I'm talking about,look up LynZ doing it.She's unreal at it.
-Pizza is shockingly shit at the backbends,and brings shame to LynZ in all her backbending glory.
-Jen should seriously enquire about the local strip club,home girl's got moves.
(Can't belive you just said that...)
Shut up,Jen,and accept the compliment.Well,that's not really a compliment,but hey,go fuck your self.
Now,where was I before I was [so rudely interrupted?/]
Ah yes.Jennifer and her ass-shaking skills.
God,I was actually pissing myself,dancing around,screaming "I DON'T NEED A RING AROUND MY FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGER" and seeing my friend jab my other friend with a twirling baton and say:
"It's not step,step,pivot,bend,it's step,pivot,bend,step godammit!Fucking Christ,you will never succeed at anything in life!"
If you think I'm weird,you should spend a day with my friends.


3.Okay,seriously with the poking thing?That's it,no Gerard Way touching himself on stage for you.


4.Okay,fine,you can come,but stop fucking poking me or I will be forced to kill you.


5.To Chloe and Eddi,aka chloeandeddi(nice creativity there guys XD) when are you guys updating The Black Parade?!Man,I've fucking molested the www.ficwad.com > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance link.So looking forward to that update guys,lovin that story!


6.That pen edges near my spine again and I snap your trachea.Capiche?


That means "do you understand" in French,Ripley.
Good.




much love,
xoxo Lauren.
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