Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Just Think Happy Thoughts
Enjoy this lovely installation X)
"Hey, Gee," Mikey said as he answered the door. Gerard noticed that he looked very worn out, but he didn't comment.
"Hey, Mikes. Is Ma home yet?" he asked, walking in the door to the small house he'd grown up in. Gerard adored the feeling he got every time he walked into his house: safe and constant.
"No, not yet. Dad's in the kitchen." When Gerard tried to walk towards the kitchen, Mikey threw out his arm and stopped him. "Gerard. What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?" Gerard asked worriedly. Am I more stoned than I thought?
"You haven't come out to see Ma and Dad in over a year. You barely call them, and the few times you do, Ma ends up in tears. So why did you suddenly decide to come out here and actually spend time with your family? How many fucking pills are you on, Gee?" Mikey asked angrily.
Gerard glared at his brother and pushed past him. "Fuck you, Mikey. I'm not on anything. Now can I please have a good time tonight?"
"Whatever," Mikey muttered, walking outside and slamming the door.
Fuming, Gerard walked past the kitchen towards the bathroom. "Dad, I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be out in a sec," he called towards his father. Closing the door behind him, Gerard sat on the toilet lid and pulled out the bottle of Xanax he had in his pocket. I shouldn't do this...Ma and Dad think I'm clean. But if Mikey's gonna be such a little fucking bitch all night I need something... Wanting to shoot himself, Gerard took out three pills and quickly swallowed them. Just enough to get through the night.
He quickly washed his hands and walked back into the kitchen where his dad was sitting at the table. "Hey, Dad."
"It's been a while," Don said gruffly. Don Way, an aging Italian man and the patriarch of the Way family, had never been able to forgive his eldest son for the pain Gerard had put Donna through since he was a teenager. If it hadn't been for Donna, they'd have become estranged years ago.
"Yeah, I know. Sorry, Dad." Gerard looked at his feet and awkwardly sat down.
"Sorry? That's all you have to say?" Don growled, standing up and slamming his fists down on the table. "You have no idea what you've put your mother through with your fucking pills and booze! Do you know how many times I've worried she'd have another anxiety attack and have to go to the hospital for a week? You haven't seen her after she calls you! She's in tears and blames herself for the shitty person you've turned out to be!" Don pounded his fist on the table once more.
"I'm fucking sorry, Dad! Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think I haven't tried to change? I've fucking tried! I went to the fucking meetings, I tried cold turkey, I talked to God, and nothing worked!" Gerard yelled at his father, regretting he'd ever come home.
"Try finding something that works then," Don hissed at his son before walking out of the room. Gerard stared at his hands in his lap, trying unsuccessfully to push the tears back. Eventually, he just let himself cry silently.
I'm such a fucking failure, he thought over and over.
"Gee?"
Wiping his eyes, Gerard looked up to see Mikey and their mother standing in the doorway. Mikey was trembling and Donna was crying. They were gripping each other's hands.
"Oh, God, Ma, I'm so sorry," Gerard said, his voice shaking, as he stood up and made his way over to his family. He tried to pull his mother into a hug, but she just pulled away.
"Gerard, you still aren't clean?" she asked, her voice choking on tears.
He let his eyes fall to the ground in shame. "Ma...I really tried. I did."
"Gee..." Donna started before beginning to cry again. Mikey pulled his mother into a hug and glared at his brother. It was only half-successful though, because he was crying as well.
"Gee, go home. I think you've done enough." Mikey gave his brother one last tear-filled look before leading their mother away from Gerard.
"I'm so sorry..." he whispered to their receding backs. Taking out his bottle of Xanax, he swallowed a few more and walked outside into the darkness. It was beginning to rain, and Gerard had no plans to go home tonight. He'd buy some six packs and just spend the night in the park before going home and spending the weekend full of pills.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gerard's plan was mostly successful; he'd bought the beer, walked to the park, and was curled up in one of the slides nursing his third beer when his plans were shattered. A pair of headlights came into view, slowed to a stop in front of the park entrance, and Gerard saw a figure get out. The massive hair identified the figure as his friend Ray.
"Gerard?" Ray called, clearly pissed. "Come on, Gerard, I know you're out here."
"Ray-Ray, come find me!" Gerard yelled back, not drunk yet but stoned from the pills.
"God-fucking-dammit, Gerard! Get your skinny white ass out here right now or I'll fucking kick your ass!" the tall man yelled, walking over to where he'd heard Gerard's voice come from. He stopped in front of the stoned man and put his hands on his hips. "Do you need me to fucking carry you or can you manage to crawl over to my car?"
"Help me up, Ray-Ray," Gerard said sadly.
Ray sighed, then picked his friend up and put Gerard's arm over his shoulders. "Why do I do this for you?" he muttered, helping his black-haired friend walk over to the waiting car.
"Cuz you're my bestie since kindergarten, Ray-Ray!" Gerard said in a singsong voice as Ray put him in the backseat.
"Okay, Gee. I'm gonna bring you back to your apartment and stay the night, okay? You go to sleep now." Ray got in the driver's seat and pulled away. He'd had to do this exact thing before: pick Gerard up from the park after a fight, drive back to his apartment in the city, and stay the night to make sure he did nothing drastic.
By the time they got to Gerard's apartment, the stoned man was completely passed out and Ray had to carry him in. Being the naturally kind person he was, Ray put Gerard in his bed and took Gerard's leather jacket and shoes off so that he'd sleep better.
"What's this?" he muttered as he noticed writing on his friend's arm. Looking closer, he noticed that it was a girl's phone number. Praying to whatever was out there that Gerard was finally getting over Lizzie and would hopefully be better soon, he covered Gerard with a blanket and laid down on the couch in the living room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Gerard woke up the next morning, he couldn't remember anything after he left his parents' house the night before. Blinking the sleep away, he sat up and held his head in his hands to try to make the headache go away.
"Hey, Gee," said a voice from the doorway.
Looking up, Gerard saw that it was Ray who'd gotten him home last night. "Hey, Toro. Thanks for getting me home, man. The shit that was going down at home-"
"I know," Ray interrupted. "Mikey called me. Your mom was still freaking out."
"It's all my fucking dad's fault. He started yelling at me as soon as I started talking to him. And Mikey was yelling at me, too. Then my mom started crying and everything was just so fucking bad," Gerard muttered. His voice started out full of rage, but it ended tearfully.
"Listen, Gee, I know you've had some problems with your dad for a long time. But you can't blame all your fucking problems on your family. As much as you'd like to, it doesn't work that way." Ray sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, man, but I gotta go. Frank and Mikey wanna hang today."
"And I wasn't invited?" Gerard asked sadly.
"Mikey's pissed. Don't even bother talking to him for a while. Bye, Gee." Ray gave his friend a small smile before turning around. "Oh, and Gee? Don't forget to call that girl."
As the front door closed, Gerard looked at his arm. Should I call her? he wondered. Deciding to just see where everything would lead him, he picked up his cell phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Celeste, it's Gerard. From the coffee shop yesterday?" He bit his lip, worried she wouldn't want to talk to him.
"Oh, yeah! What's up? I completely forgot you were gonna call me." She laughed on the other end of the line a little bit, a bright, tinkling sound.
"I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime soon? Maybe later today? I'm not doing anything, so if it's good for you..." Gerard let the sentence trail off. I'm so fucked, why did I do that?
"Well, I'm not off until noon but if you wanna come down to my work you can look around and we'll talk at lunch. Saturdays are usually slow, according to the other people, so we can probably talk before I'm off, too."
"Sounds good! I've got some stuff to take care of so I'll be over around, say, 11?" Gerard asked, fiddling with the pills in his pocket.
"Yeah! I've gotta go now, though, so bye!" Celeste said happily. She gave him her work's address and hung up her phone.
Truly smiling for the first time in months, perhaps even years, Gerard downed a few pills and thought about the day ahead.
Did anyone like it? Pleeease rate/review...I'm kinda losing inspiration for this since I don't know if anyone likes it, so if you do, don't let it die, man! X)
xo Allie
"Hey, Gee," Mikey said as he answered the door. Gerard noticed that he looked very worn out, but he didn't comment.
"Hey, Mikes. Is Ma home yet?" he asked, walking in the door to the small house he'd grown up in. Gerard adored the feeling he got every time he walked into his house: safe and constant.
"No, not yet. Dad's in the kitchen." When Gerard tried to walk towards the kitchen, Mikey threw out his arm and stopped him. "Gerard. What's wrong?"
"What do you mean?" Gerard asked worriedly. Am I more stoned than I thought?
"You haven't come out to see Ma and Dad in over a year. You barely call them, and the few times you do, Ma ends up in tears. So why did you suddenly decide to come out here and actually spend time with your family? How many fucking pills are you on, Gee?" Mikey asked angrily.
Gerard glared at his brother and pushed past him. "Fuck you, Mikey. I'm not on anything. Now can I please have a good time tonight?"
"Whatever," Mikey muttered, walking outside and slamming the door.
Fuming, Gerard walked past the kitchen towards the bathroom. "Dad, I'm just going to the bathroom. I'll be out in a sec," he called towards his father. Closing the door behind him, Gerard sat on the toilet lid and pulled out the bottle of Xanax he had in his pocket. I shouldn't do this...Ma and Dad think I'm clean. But if Mikey's gonna be such a little fucking bitch all night I need something... Wanting to shoot himself, Gerard took out three pills and quickly swallowed them. Just enough to get through the night.
He quickly washed his hands and walked back into the kitchen where his dad was sitting at the table. "Hey, Dad."
"It's been a while," Don said gruffly. Don Way, an aging Italian man and the patriarch of the Way family, had never been able to forgive his eldest son for the pain Gerard had put Donna through since he was a teenager. If it hadn't been for Donna, they'd have become estranged years ago.
"Yeah, I know. Sorry, Dad." Gerard looked at his feet and awkwardly sat down.
"Sorry? That's all you have to say?" Don growled, standing up and slamming his fists down on the table. "You have no idea what you've put your mother through with your fucking pills and booze! Do you know how many times I've worried she'd have another anxiety attack and have to go to the hospital for a week? You haven't seen her after she calls you! She's in tears and blames herself for the shitty person you've turned out to be!" Don pounded his fist on the table once more.
"I'm fucking sorry, Dad! Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think I haven't tried to change? I've fucking tried! I went to the fucking meetings, I tried cold turkey, I talked to God, and nothing worked!" Gerard yelled at his father, regretting he'd ever come home.
"Try finding something that works then," Don hissed at his son before walking out of the room. Gerard stared at his hands in his lap, trying unsuccessfully to push the tears back. Eventually, he just let himself cry silently.
I'm such a fucking failure, he thought over and over.
"Gee?"
Wiping his eyes, Gerard looked up to see Mikey and their mother standing in the doorway. Mikey was trembling and Donna was crying. They were gripping each other's hands.
"Oh, God, Ma, I'm so sorry," Gerard said, his voice shaking, as he stood up and made his way over to his family. He tried to pull his mother into a hug, but she just pulled away.
"Gerard, you still aren't clean?" she asked, her voice choking on tears.
He let his eyes fall to the ground in shame. "Ma...I really tried. I did."
"Gee..." Donna started before beginning to cry again. Mikey pulled his mother into a hug and glared at his brother. It was only half-successful though, because he was crying as well.
"Gee, go home. I think you've done enough." Mikey gave his brother one last tear-filled look before leading their mother away from Gerard.
"I'm so sorry..." he whispered to their receding backs. Taking out his bottle of Xanax, he swallowed a few more and walked outside into the darkness. It was beginning to rain, and Gerard had no plans to go home tonight. He'd buy some six packs and just spend the night in the park before going home and spending the weekend full of pills.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gerard's plan was mostly successful; he'd bought the beer, walked to the park, and was curled up in one of the slides nursing his third beer when his plans were shattered. A pair of headlights came into view, slowed to a stop in front of the park entrance, and Gerard saw a figure get out. The massive hair identified the figure as his friend Ray.
"Gerard?" Ray called, clearly pissed. "Come on, Gerard, I know you're out here."
"Ray-Ray, come find me!" Gerard yelled back, not drunk yet but stoned from the pills.
"God-fucking-dammit, Gerard! Get your skinny white ass out here right now or I'll fucking kick your ass!" the tall man yelled, walking over to where he'd heard Gerard's voice come from. He stopped in front of the stoned man and put his hands on his hips. "Do you need me to fucking carry you or can you manage to crawl over to my car?"
"Help me up, Ray-Ray," Gerard said sadly.
Ray sighed, then picked his friend up and put Gerard's arm over his shoulders. "Why do I do this for you?" he muttered, helping his black-haired friend walk over to the waiting car.
"Cuz you're my bestie since kindergarten, Ray-Ray!" Gerard said in a singsong voice as Ray put him in the backseat.
"Okay, Gee. I'm gonna bring you back to your apartment and stay the night, okay? You go to sleep now." Ray got in the driver's seat and pulled away. He'd had to do this exact thing before: pick Gerard up from the park after a fight, drive back to his apartment in the city, and stay the night to make sure he did nothing drastic.
By the time they got to Gerard's apartment, the stoned man was completely passed out and Ray had to carry him in. Being the naturally kind person he was, Ray put Gerard in his bed and took Gerard's leather jacket and shoes off so that he'd sleep better.
"What's this?" he muttered as he noticed writing on his friend's arm. Looking closer, he noticed that it was a girl's phone number. Praying to whatever was out there that Gerard was finally getting over Lizzie and would hopefully be better soon, he covered Gerard with a blanket and laid down on the couch in the living room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Gerard woke up the next morning, he couldn't remember anything after he left his parents' house the night before. Blinking the sleep away, he sat up and held his head in his hands to try to make the headache go away.
"Hey, Gee," said a voice from the doorway.
Looking up, Gerard saw that it was Ray who'd gotten him home last night. "Hey, Toro. Thanks for getting me home, man. The shit that was going down at home-"
"I know," Ray interrupted. "Mikey called me. Your mom was still freaking out."
"It's all my fucking dad's fault. He started yelling at me as soon as I started talking to him. And Mikey was yelling at me, too. Then my mom started crying and everything was just so fucking bad," Gerard muttered. His voice started out full of rage, but it ended tearfully.
"Listen, Gee, I know you've had some problems with your dad for a long time. But you can't blame all your fucking problems on your family. As much as you'd like to, it doesn't work that way." Ray sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, man, but I gotta go. Frank and Mikey wanna hang today."
"And I wasn't invited?" Gerard asked sadly.
"Mikey's pissed. Don't even bother talking to him for a while. Bye, Gee." Ray gave his friend a small smile before turning around. "Oh, and Gee? Don't forget to call that girl."
As the front door closed, Gerard looked at his arm. Should I call her? he wondered. Deciding to just see where everything would lead him, he picked up his cell phone and dialed the number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Celeste, it's Gerard. From the coffee shop yesterday?" He bit his lip, worried she wouldn't want to talk to him.
"Oh, yeah! What's up? I completely forgot you were gonna call me." She laughed on the other end of the line a little bit, a bright, tinkling sound.
"I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime soon? Maybe later today? I'm not doing anything, so if it's good for you..." Gerard let the sentence trail off. I'm so fucked, why did I do that?
"Well, I'm not off until noon but if you wanna come down to my work you can look around and we'll talk at lunch. Saturdays are usually slow, according to the other people, so we can probably talk before I'm off, too."
"Sounds good! I've got some stuff to take care of so I'll be over around, say, 11?" Gerard asked, fiddling with the pills in his pocket.
"Yeah! I've gotta go now, though, so bye!" Celeste said happily. She gave him her work's address and hung up her phone.
Truly smiling for the first time in months, perhaps even years, Gerard downed a few pills and thought about the day ahead.
Did anyone like it? Pleeease rate/review...I'm kinda losing inspiration for this since I don't know if anyone likes it, so if you do, don't let it die, man! X)
xo Allie
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