Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Thinking of you.

by TheGrinReeper 3 reviews

Alicia syaing her goodbyes to Mikey after the war song fic.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Angst - Characters: Mikey Way - Published: 2011-05-21 - Updated: 2011-05-21 - 2120 words - Complete

I own nothing but the idea.

It had been four months to the day from when I got the letter. I still remember it like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful summer’s day; I woke to the bright morning sunlight. Stretched in our bed, I love the way the bed covers still kept you’re sent. That was one of the reasons why going to bed was my favourite time of the day, the other was it made me one day closer to seeing you again. I yawned sleepily and dragged myself out of bed. I it was a Friday, and I love Fridays for one reason, it was the day I would get your letters. I would always receive your letters on a Friday. A smile emerged on my face as I saw the letter hanging from the mail box on the door, caught in the flap. I gingerly walked over to it and grabbed it in my hands, strolling towards the window where I read all your letters. I glanced out the window onto the path and the woods just beyond our house. I smiled thinking of the bike ride we had just before you left that was a fun day. The amount of times I thought I was going to fall off the handle bars that day!

I was then pulled back to the unopened letter in my hands. Suddenly I had great anticipation to open it, to hear your stories, to see how your brother was doing, how the guys were and if Ray had gotten over his sea sickness. Now that was a funny letter! I tore open the envelope to find a yellow piece of paper. For a second I thought that it was a letter saying you were being let home.
I was very wrong.
I unfolded it and began to read, it only took me seconds to find the sentence that would change my life forever “was killed in action” I screamed. I fell to the floor, I could not breathe. I did not move off the floor all day, I was found on the floor that night by my fiancés brother’s wife, Lindsey. She got a letter from Frank, Michael’s friend telling her of the news and that her husband was “very bad”. After that day my life changed forever, I would not eat, sleep. Everything reminded me of him. When I did sleep I slept in the guest’s room. I felt like I was the one dead not him, god I wished that was the way. I would just collapse and cry for hours and hours on end. I moved the pictures of us from the living room of us and put them into a closet. It was too hard. It felt like a dream, like I would wake up and see a letter on the mailbox from him saying they got it wrong, it was a mistake.

Weeks dragged by, his bode....he was going to be sailed home so we could have a funeral. Gerard, Frank, Ray and Bob were all sent home, Gerard because of trauma. I was told he was worse than me, I didn’t blame him. Lindsey encouraged me to “get back out there” but it was too hard. I felt like I was being unfaithful. But I was getting sick of being alone. Roaming the house all day, not talking to anyone, only the ghost of him, comforting me. It was driving me insane. Until I met him, he was an ex marine. He was lovely, sweet, romantic, but nothing like Michael. He filled up my day. Gave he me someone to talk to, to pass the brutal hours. He was not pushy he waited until one night he walked me home and on the porch he kissed me. Lovely sweet kiss, and memories came flooding back I was disgusted with myself, but for the first time since Michael left I felt loved, special.

From that day forward our relationship grew, he moved in and I felt alive. I didn’t feel as bad, but then he changed, he wanted more. I could not handle it. I would not give him what he wanted. Michael arrived home and he prepared for the funeral. We all agreed to have the casket closed, it was easier. I just had one request, that he had his glasses on. Gerard and the guys followed home a day later. It was the first time I had seen them since he left the dance the night before the left, to Germany. The only word that come to mind when I saw him was....dead... his hair was longer, not combed. His skin deathly pale ,his eyes they were the worst, dull, dark ,dead. All life drained out. He was so bad he didn’t even but his arms around his wife when she hugged him, nor could he even hold his own child in his arms without nearly dropping her. he didn’t even talk. Yes he was worse than I was.

It was the morning of the funeral. I dressed myself, in black a silent tear streamed down my cheek. I fixed my vale and wiped away the tear. My “partner” would be attending the funeral later, in the church. The church loomed over us cold, dark just like how we were all feeling. I entered my eyes soon fell to the casket covered in flowers. Reality hit home. I was so scared it felt like the walls of the church were closing in on me. I walked to the top were the relatives sit. Gerard was slouched there. Lindsey was sitting next to him, the child on her lap. His hair covered his face, his head craned towards the floor. I heard the child cooing, I smiled at her, taking her little pudgy hand in mine, more tears came. The ceremony started and the church was full to the brim. I was so happy seeing all the hearts Michael touched while here. Coming towards the end the priest asked the family to say a few words. He looked towards Gerard, but Lindsey shuck her head, he was in no fit state. Shakily I stood up I made my way up the steps to the alter stand. When I stood at the microphone I saw my partner walk in.
“ This is for you Michael, my love...” I started glancing at the ring on my finger.

“Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed,”

I began to sing, I was so nervous, I knew that this song would end up leaving me alone again, but I didn’t care, I knew now that I would not love another man, like I loved Michael, like Mikey.

“You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know,”

I remembered when we talked the night before he left, about if something happened, I never thought...he wanted me to move on. “hey there is plenty of fish in the water! Just promise you would be happy?” he smiled, “I don’t want any other fish, but you,” I laughed kissing him. I saw that my partner was not impressed at all, but this was not about him, it was about the man I love.

“Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes....”

I remembered the first time I saw Mikey with out his glasses. We were out side having a picnic we had just started dating and it started raining. We ran for cover under a huge tree. We laughed and there was rain drops on his glasses. Gently I took off his glasses and wiped them in my dress, I looked back at him and saw the most stunning pare of brown eyes looking at me. He was nervous “sorry I look better with my glasses on..” he shrugged sheepishly. “god no you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen!” I exclaimed. “nah! No I don’t...” he started but I interrupted him “no I could look into your eyes forever.” I said brushing his wet hair away from his eyes to get a better look. He smiled and kissed me on the forehead “thank you Alicia.” Tears started again at that memory.

“You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test”

I looked down at the people in the church, Mikey’s mother was crying but she smiled at me. I was grabbing the hem of my dress. I thought of all the little things he did, he tried to have a hard front but it melted away when I was with him, so I was told by friends and family. I smiled remembering the way he used to play with my hair and the way he would whisper “I love you...” in my ear randomly in my ear through out the day.

“He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself”

I thought of the first time another man kissed me, the hate and anger that I could do that to Mikey. All I could do was imagine it was Mikey until I opened my eyes and realised it was not him. It would never be him.

“Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...”

I saw Gerard looking up at me, I also saw my partner leave the church, but I didn’t care, i would never love him, I knew that now, but I was not content if I could not live with Mikey then I would not live with anyone.

“You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know”

God I regretted it, how could I just let you walk out that door?, you stopped and looked back at me. I should have known. Why didn’t I run into your arms and never let you go? Now I would have to live with the constant pain. I sang directly to the coffin, to Mikey, hoping he could somehow hear me.

“Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes”

I sang my heart out, to Mikey. I walked down the steps to the coffin. I placed my hand on it.
“Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

I placed a kiss on the coffin, our last kiss.

Gerard stood up and walked up to me. He pulled me into a hug. I cried, my knees went weak, he caught me. “thank you, from him and me...” he whispered. He two of them are so like its scary. “Gerard....i’m pregnant...” I cried into his shoulder, I felt him tense for a second. “is it Mikey’s?” I nodded. i was pregnant that was why i could not givemt partner what he wanted.I could feel his fresh tears on my shoulder. “four months....” I continued. “he would have been a great dad.” Gerard cried. “yeah he would have.” I smiled through the tears.

Baby Michael Gerard Way was born on 10th September, on his fathers birthday. Three years have passed and Mikey had a full head of long white blonde hair, he has his fathers beautiful hazel eyes, the image of his father. Alicia never had any other man in her life other than her son. Gerard, Frank, Ray and Bob never went back to the army. Michael was never forgotten.
“cause in your eyes I’d like to stay....”

Thank you! Please read and review, based on “The Ghost of You” My Chemical Romance and “Thinking of You” Katy Perry. TheGrinReeper!
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