Categories > Books > Harry Potter

Ōjo o sukue! Kyōki no susamajii o!

by Flash-Flood13 2 reviews

A beautiful fairy tale.

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Fantasy,Parody,Romance - Characters: Dumbledore,Harry,Neville,Pansy,Voldemort - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2011-05-24 - Updated: 2011-05-24 - 693 words - Complete

Once a pon a time,in a land far,far away,just around the local McDonald's,there lived the mighty king Dumbledore.He was well respected by the peasants of the village he ruled,his servants and the people who work under him admire him,and sometimes,when nobody's looking,he eats mayonnaise right out of the jar.He had a beatiful daughter,the lovely and gorgeous princess Voldemort.Sure she was a little pale and had a very flat nose,but everybody in the kingdom loved her,because she was really nice;she had all the good grades with her tutor,she helped the poor,she gives her old clothes to an orphanage,and on Sundays she hosts Bingo game night at the old folks' home.Her clothing of choice were beatiful pink dresses with giant poofy sleeves(59 inches/150 cm in diameter).Her best friend was her maid Wormtail,a short and fat girl,and they always had a lot fun,especially once a month when they compete in rock-paper-scissors with prince Cedric Diggory from the neighbour village.

But,on a dark and stormy night,while princess Voldemort and king Dumbledore(and the rest of the kingdom,including the servants) were watching Grey's anatomy,the evil witch Neville Hugebottom crashed into their castle.She wore the same thing she always wears;a long black dress that hid her fat ass,a big black pointy hat with How's my flying? written on the back and black knee-high Converse All Star boots.She cackled menacingly:

-Mwahahahaha!I am the great witch Neville Hugebottom!I am here to bring menace to your kingDUMB,king Dumbledore,and to kidnap your daughter!Mwahahahahahahahah!

-Gasp!Mon dieu! exclaimed princess Voldemort.
Father,don't let her take me away!

But before anyone could do anything,the great witch Neville Hugebottom pointed her wand in the sky,shouted "Gluteus maximus!",and a cloud of smoke surrounded the room.Everybody was panicking(except Wormtail,she was still watching Grey's anatomy),and the great witch Neville Hugebottom grabbed princess Voldemort,and took her on her broom,and they flew away!

-Help me!Somebody help me! screamed princess Voldemort as she and the great witch blah blah blah flew into the sky.

King Dumbledore panicked.His only daughter was kidnapped by an evil witch,and there was nothing he could do about it.As he felt his adult diapers getting wet,he grabbed his Sony Ericsson W580i and called the one man who could help him...Chuck Norris.However,he was busy,so Dumbledore called the second man who could help his daughter...Steven Seagal.He was busy too,so Dumbledore called upon the brave knight Harry Potter.

-Harry Potter,my only daugter princess Voldemort was kidnapped by the evil witch Neville Hugebottom.It is your doody to rescue her and bring her safe to me!The princess,not the witch,I mean. said king Dumbledore.

Harry replied.
-My king,I shall do as you ask.This doody that you gave me is a great and honorable doody,and I shall do my best to fulfill it.Your beatiful princess shall be here ASAP!

Then,he called upon his maid Pansy Parkinson and told her to prepare for him his armor,sword,horse and portable CD-player.

-Yes,my mastet. Pansy replied and left off,while revealing a bit of her panties beneath her French maid's outfit.

Finally,Harry set of.He came to the evil witch's lair.Blah blah blah,big fight,blah blah blah,I will kill you the witch said,blah blah blah,yadda yadda yadda.
Harry killed the witch,took princess Voldemort under his arms,and they rode off on Harry's horse back to the kingdom.

-Oh my lord you saved me! said princess Voldemort excitedly.
I am forever in your gratitude,sir.How may I ever repay you?

-Well,... said Harry.
I would like to ask your hand in marriage.

-Yes!Oh,yes!A thousand times yes,my brave saviour!

And so,the brave knight Harry Potter and the pretty princess Voldemort got married,had lots of children and grandchildren,and they live happily ever after.

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