Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Pretty Eyes
Chapter Five: Smile, Even If It Hurts.
Gerard found himself in a dark room. He was naked and cold. He didn't know where he was. He continued to walk, until a mirror came up to him. Finally, he was able to see himself. Something grotesque looking stared back at him. His eyeballs were missing from its sockets. He was covered in blood. It seeped down from between his legs. He heard a door open, and he was overcome with fear. His attacker had come for him.
Mikey lay awake next to Gerard. Gerard was asleep, but he was talking. It sounded as though he was asking for Lindsey. Gerard's moans and whimpers increased, and Mikey began to realize that whatever he was dreaming of wasn't pleasant. Mikey sighed and turned over. He grabbed Gerard by the arm and tried to shake him awake.
"No.. please stop..." Gerard muttered. Mikey shook him harder. Gerard only got louder.
"NO PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE JUST FUCKING STOP!" He screamed. Mikey started to panic. He tried slapping Gerard across the face a little.
"IT HURTS! IT HURTS!" Gerard continued to scream.
"GERARD! WAKE UP GERARD!" Mikey screamed at him while he shook him violently. Gerard started bawling hysterically.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why?" he cried.
It was then Mikey figured out that Gerard was awake, he just wasn't sure how long he had been. Mikey frowned and pulled Gerard to him.
"It's okay Gerard. No one's going to hurt you now." he told his brother.
"T-that's what she told me the night we got married." Gerard said very quietly.
Mikey didn't know how to respond to that. Instead he just held Gerard tighter, hoping that he could make Gerard see that HIS word was more than empty promises. But that was the problem wasn't it? Gerard couldn't see. He couldn't see anything at all.
~
Frank led Gerard by the hand into the basement. It really wasn't a ideal place to do this, but Frank had found no other place that the canvas would fit. So this would have to do for now.
"Where are we going, Frankie?" Gerard asked.
"You'll ---" Frank had to refrain himself from using the word 'see' and paused before he came up with "You'll know soon enough."
They reached it finally, and he took Gerard's hand and held it against the paper. Gerard smiled, and Frank knew he knew what it was.
"A paint canvas." Gerard acknowledged.
"I got it for you yesterday while I was out. And here..."
Frank went through his bag and pulled out an assortment of paints. He opened a red one and shoved it under Gerard's nose. Gerard flinched a little at the strong stench it emitted.
"Cherry?"
"Yep, scented paint. So you know which color your using!" Frank grinned. Frank put down the paints on a ledge that the canvas offered. He handed Gerard a paintbrush and said "Here, try it."
He positioned Gerard and helped Gerard dip the paintbrush into the paint. He let go and waited with baited breath, wondering if this was going to work. Gerard lifted his arm and poked at the paper with the paintbrush daintily, as if afraid he was going to hurt it.
"Did I do it right?" Gerard asked Frank.
"Yeah! Perfect! Now just keep doing that, I'll get you a chair."
Gerard heard Frank rummaging around the room. He couldn't help but smile at the effort Frank was putting forward. It was true that Gerard had been very afraid he could no longer be the artist that he loved being. That he had been robbed of not only his sight but his passion. Yet here Frank was, giving him hope that maybe things aren't so bad after all. He'd have to figure out a way to show his gratitude, Gerard thought as he painted more strokes on the paper.
~
Gerard, Mikey, and Frank were having lunch. Mikey had made them a lovely meal. They were talking of some of their friends in Jersey. They were careful not to talk about certain things like movies they were looking forward to. It was very difficult, considering the new Harry Potter film was coming up, and they were all excited about it. Frank had felt very upset when he realized Gerard wouldn't be able to see it, as it was the anticipated last film. But as far as avoiding the subject went, they had managed to get by so far.
Gerard decided he wanted more rice halfway through the meal. Frank and Mikey seemed like they were fully enjoying their conversation, and he didn't want to bother them. Making up his mind, he got up and went over to the stove. He grabbed around for the pan of rice. Finally, he found the handle. It scalded him. He yelped and fell back. And suddenly something thick and boiling hot splashed onto him. He screamed.
He heard footsteps running towards him, and hands pulling him away. Then suddenly the hands grabbed at his shirt and tried to lift it up. Gerard stumbled backwards, trying to get away from this thing that was trying to strip him of his clothing. He felt himself fall to the ground. The hands grabbed him again and Gerard felt his leg hurting for some reason.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Gerard spat at it.
"Gerard! It's me, Frank! You spilled soup all over yourself, I'm just trying to get it off you before it burns you!" Frank's voice sounded desperate.
Gerard suddenly felt immensely embarrassed at the way he had acted. He ceased movement and allowed Frank to remove his shirt and help him up. Frank said nothing more and led him to a chair. He could hear Frank go to get something, and then he felt something cold. A wet towel was being wiped against his skin. Gerard felt even more embarrassed at the idea of being cleaned, like some sort of toddler. He was a grown man, and someone's father. Wasn't he supposed to be doing this for someone else? Then again, if the last few minutes proved anything, it was that he just couldn't do anything right. Not anymore. He felt like an invalid.
More footsteps were heard, and Gerard could tell it was Mikey. Mikey shuffled his feet.
"Is he okay?" he heard Mikey ask.
"Yeah I think so." said Frank. "There's a bit of redness but I don't think its anything serious."
"I cleaned up the soup. I think he was trying to get some and he just knocked it over..."
"I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE!" Gerard screeched, immensely annoyed that they were talking about him as though he wasn't in the room. Mikey and Frank fell silent for a moment.
"We're sorry, Gee." said Frank. "We're just concerned, that's all."
"Well if you're concerned, you could just directly ask me how I am." Gerard grumbled. He pushed Frank's hand away jumped off the chair. He groped around for his cane, but when he couldn't find it he tried to storm off on his own. It wasn't long before he tripped over something and found himself hitting the ground once again. This time it was Mikey who picked him up.
"Fuck!" Gerard yelled "I can't fucking do anything anymore! Someone needs to just fucking kill me now! I can't live like this!"
Suddenly Gerard found himself being smacked on the head. Frank's voice yelled at him "Hey! Don't you ever fucking say that! Whatever happened to I am not afraid to keep on living, huh? We're willing to do anything for you, but you can't give up on us Gerard, you can't!"
Gerard was placed into a chair again where he buried his face in his hands. Mikey's voice came next, in a much more calming tone.
"It'll be alright Gerard, we just need to remodel the house a bit, I think. Make it more blind friendly, for lack of a better word. Reposition things so there's less room for accidents."
"Yeah," Frank chimed in "We can reorganize the cupboards so you know where everything is. And we can get new bars in different places so you have something to hold on to."
"We should probably do something about the stair case." said Mikey. The vibration of a cell phone went off and Mikey remarked that he should get that. As he heard footsteps walking away, he felt Frank sling an arm around his shoulders.
"You'll be okay, Gerard." Frank said softly.
"As long as you stick around Frank...." Gerard answered.
"I'd never leave you."
After a couple of minutes, Mikey's footsteps returned.
"Guys!" he said excitedly "I just got off the phone with Ray! He says he can't come for another week!"
"Why do you sound so happy about that?" Frank chuckled.
"He can't come because Christa's pregnant! They're going to have their first child!"
"Oh my god!" Frank and Gerard said simultaneously. Gerard felt himself grin, and Frank emitted a weird squeeing noise.
"We're going to have a new addition to the My Chemical Romance family! That's fucking awesome!" Frank said with glee. "This calls for a fucking epic celebration!"
Gerard suddenly felt a conflict of emotion. His heart had swelled with happiness for Ray, but at Frank's comment it broke when he remembered his own baby girl, Bandit. He missed her so much. Yet Gerard kept the massive grin on his face. He figured he'd just cry later.
~
Next chapter: "Are we even a band anymore?"
Gerard found himself in a dark room. He was naked and cold. He didn't know where he was. He continued to walk, until a mirror came up to him. Finally, he was able to see himself. Something grotesque looking stared back at him. His eyeballs were missing from its sockets. He was covered in blood. It seeped down from between his legs. He heard a door open, and he was overcome with fear. His attacker had come for him.
Mikey lay awake next to Gerard. Gerard was asleep, but he was talking. It sounded as though he was asking for Lindsey. Gerard's moans and whimpers increased, and Mikey began to realize that whatever he was dreaming of wasn't pleasant. Mikey sighed and turned over. He grabbed Gerard by the arm and tried to shake him awake.
"No.. please stop..." Gerard muttered. Mikey shook him harder. Gerard only got louder.
"NO PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! PLEASE JUST FUCKING STOP!" He screamed. Mikey started to panic. He tried slapping Gerard across the face a little.
"IT HURTS! IT HURTS!" Gerard continued to scream.
"GERARD! WAKE UP GERARD!" Mikey screamed at him while he shook him violently. Gerard started bawling hysterically.
"Why are you doing this to me? Why?" he cried.
It was then Mikey figured out that Gerard was awake, he just wasn't sure how long he had been. Mikey frowned and pulled Gerard to him.
"It's okay Gerard. No one's going to hurt you now." he told his brother.
"T-that's what she told me the night we got married." Gerard said very quietly.
Mikey didn't know how to respond to that. Instead he just held Gerard tighter, hoping that he could make Gerard see that HIS word was more than empty promises. But that was the problem wasn't it? Gerard couldn't see. He couldn't see anything at all.
~
Frank led Gerard by the hand into the basement. It really wasn't a ideal place to do this, but Frank had found no other place that the canvas would fit. So this would have to do for now.
"Where are we going, Frankie?" Gerard asked.
"You'll ---" Frank had to refrain himself from using the word 'see' and paused before he came up with "You'll know soon enough."
They reached it finally, and he took Gerard's hand and held it against the paper. Gerard smiled, and Frank knew he knew what it was.
"A paint canvas." Gerard acknowledged.
"I got it for you yesterday while I was out. And here..."
Frank went through his bag and pulled out an assortment of paints. He opened a red one and shoved it under Gerard's nose. Gerard flinched a little at the strong stench it emitted.
"Cherry?"
"Yep, scented paint. So you know which color your using!" Frank grinned. Frank put down the paints on a ledge that the canvas offered. He handed Gerard a paintbrush and said "Here, try it."
He positioned Gerard and helped Gerard dip the paintbrush into the paint. He let go and waited with baited breath, wondering if this was going to work. Gerard lifted his arm and poked at the paper with the paintbrush daintily, as if afraid he was going to hurt it.
"Did I do it right?" Gerard asked Frank.
"Yeah! Perfect! Now just keep doing that, I'll get you a chair."
Gerard heard Frank rummaging around the room. He couldn't help but smile at the effort Frank was putting forward. It was true that Gerard had been very afraid he could no longer be the artist that he loved being. That he had been robbed of not only his sight but his passion. Yet here Frank was, giving him hope that maybe things aren't so bad after all. He'd have to figure out a way to show his gratitude, Gerard thought as he painted more strokes on the paper.
~
Gerard, Mikey, and Frank were having lunch. Mikey had made them a lovely meal. They were talking of some of their friends in Jersey. They were careful not to talk about certain things like movies they were looking forward to. It was very difficult, considering the new Harry Potter film was coming up, and they were all excited about it. Frank had felt very upset when he realized Gerard wouldn't be able to see it, as it was the anticipated last film. But as far as avoiding the subject went, they had managed to get by so far.
Gerard decided he wanted more rice halfway through the meal. Frank and Mikey seemed like they were fully enjoying their conversation, and he didn't want to bother them. Making up his mind, he got up and went over to the stove. He grabbed around for the pan of rice. Finally, he found the handle. It scalded him. He yelped and fell back. And suddenly something thick and boiling hot splashed onto him. He screamed.
He heard footsteps running towards him, and hands pulling him away. Then suddenly the hands grabbed at his shirt and tried to lift it up. Gerard stumbled backwards, trying to get away from this thing that was trying to strip him of his clothing. He felt himself fall to the ground. The hands grabbed him again and Gerard felt his leg hurting for some reason.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Gerard spat at it.
"Gerard! It's me, Frank! You spilled soup all over yourself, I'm just trying to get it off you before it burns you!" Frank's voice sounded desperate.
Gerard suddenly felt immensely embarrassed at the way he had acted. He ceased movement and allowed Frank to remove his shirt and help him up. Frank said nothing more and led him to a chair. He could hear Frank go to get something, and then he felt something cold. A wet towel was being wiped against his skin. Gerard felt even more embarrassed at the idea of being cleaned, like some sort of toddler. He was a grown man, and someone's father. Wasn't he supposed to be doing this for someone else? Then again, if the last few minutes proved anything, it was that he just couldn't do anything right. Not anymore. He felt like an invalid.
More footsteps were heard, and Gerard could tell it was Mikey. Mikey shuffled his feet.
"Is he okay?" he heard Mikey ask.
"Yeah I think so." said Frank. "There's a bit of redness but I don't think its anything serious."
"I cleaned up the soup. I think he was trying to get some and he just knocked it over..."
"I'M RIGHT FUCKING HERE!" Gerard screeched, immensely annoyed that they were talking about him as though he wasn't in the room. Mikey and Frank fell silent for a moment.
"We're sorry, Gee." said Frank. "We're just concerned, that's all."
"Well if you're concerned, you could just directly ask me how I am." Gerard grumbled. He pushed Frank's hand away jumped off the chair. He groped around for his cane, but when he couldn't find it he tried to storm off on his own. It wasn't long before he tripped over something and found himself hitting the ground once again. This time it was Mikey who picked him up.
"Fuck!" Gerard yelled "I can't fucking do anything anymore! Someone needs to just fucking kill me now! I can't live like this!"
Suddenly Gerard found himself being smacked on the head. Frank's voice yelled at him "Hey! Don't you ever fucking say that! Whatever happened to I am not afraid to keep on living, huh? We're willing to do anything for you, but you can't give up on us Gerard, you can't!"
Gerard was placed into a chair again where he buried his face in his hands. Mikey's voice came next, in a much more calming tone.
"It'll be alright Gerard, we just need to remodel the house a bit, I think. Make it more blind friendly, for lack of a better word. Reposition things so there's less room for accidents."
"Yeah," Frank chimed in "We can reorganize the cupboards so you know where everything is. And we can get new bars in different places so you have something to hold on to."
"We should probably do something about the stair case." said Mikey. The vibration of a cell phone went off and Mikey remarked that he should get that. As he heard footsteps walking away, he felt Frank sling an arm around his shoulders.
"You'll be okay, Gerard." Frank said softly.
"As long as you stick around Frank...." Gerard answered.
"I'd never leave you."
After a couple of minutes, Mikey's footsteps returned.
"Guys!" he said excitedly "I just got off the phone with Ray! He says he can't come for another week!"
"Why do you sound so happy about that?" Frank chuckled.
"He can't come because Christa's pregnant! They're going to have their first child!"
"Oh my god!" Frank and Gerard said simultaneously. Gerard felt himself grin, and Frank emitted a weird squeeing noise.
"We're going to have a new addition to the My Chemical Romance family! That's fucking awesome!" Frank said with glee. "This calls for a fucking epic celebration!"
Gerard suddenly felt a conflict of emotion. His heart had swelled with happiness for Ray, but at Frank's comment it broke when he remembered his own baby girl, Bandit. He missed her so much. Yet Gerard kept the massive grin on his face. He figured he'd just cry later.
~
Next chapter: "Are we even a band anymore?"
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