(#) SpiderDuck2 2011-05-26This was fantastic! A little hard to follow at times, what with all the perspective changes. It seemed like you tried to keep Mikey and Pete as nameless as possible. I appreciate the overall effect it created, but it WAS a little confusing. Either way, once I got it figured out, it was phenomenal. It was emotional, and I could feel the angst, the heartbreak. Your metaphors were fantastic, if a little sweeping. Try pinning down what you want to say a little more cohesively, and you've got it exactly perfect! :D
Sign up to review this story.