Categories > Celebrities > Harry Potter > Heather Black
Reviews
Heather Black
(#) JesusKetchum31 2006-05-27
I'm sorry... I was just too distracted by the Mary-Sueness and spelling errors to keep reading. You seem to be portraying the Black family of your stories as being the same Black family from which Sirius Black and Narcissa Malfoy are descended (see: "godfather" Lupin), and then you mention a muggle uncle. I just find it all implausible. Also, you might want to watch your spelling and tone down the dialog, maybe insert some more description and action. There's a lot of potential here, but the other stuff is just too much for most Harry Potter fans. With such a popular fandom, everything is held to a much higher standard due to the sheer volume of fanfiction. Please keep that in mind.
On the upside, however, your main character's personality is impressive. You seem to be very good at characterization. Remember that in the future; one should try to play to one's strengths.
Sign up to review this story.