FicWad

"God I hate this end of town." Mikey muttered as he drove through downtown Newark.

"Could be worse." Gerard shrugged, sat with his feet on the seat, chewing gum and looking at the street outside.

"Yeah?"

Gerard glanced round at Mikey, smirked, then turned back to the window. "Could be Belleville."

Mikey laughed through his nose, cracking into a grin. "True."

They drove for a couple more minutes in a comfortable silence, Gerard staring out of the side window and Mikey out of the front, but with a closeness like they were looking at each other.

"Hey, Mikes, thanks for coming with me, y'know." Gerard said a moment later, turning to look at him.

Mikey glanced round at him. "Yeah well you do owe me a favour for it - and you know how I love having you in my back pocket."

Gerard grinned, chuckling. "That you do."

Mikey met his eyes for a second again then turned back to the road with a little smirk. His expression changed though into one raised eyebrow and two sceptical eyes, his lips parting as he looked at the building on their right.

"Christ this is a dump, couldn't Bert have picked somewhere nicer?" Mikey said in distaste, surveying the scuzzy pizza joint that matched the name he'd given them.

Gerard looked it over too, then sighed, shaking his head. "I d'know Mikes, he's a weird dude, don't expect too much." he smirked.

Mikey pulled up at the curb and his heart beat double-time as he turned off the engine, suddenly thinking that maybe Gerard wouldn't be interested in Bert's... inevitable invitations this time. Maybe Gerard saw what a loser Bert was. Maybe he didn't expect or want too much from him. They both slammed the doors and Mikey walked around to the sidewalk, to Gerard, and together they went over to the group of four guys stood on the corner of the street.

Bert was the first to notice them and turn around.

"Jared!" he beamed, stepping forward and engulfing Gerard in a hug.

Good start.

"Gerard." Mikey corrected through gritted teeth.

"Hm?" Bert said, pulling away, still smiling.

"His name's Gerard."

Gerard blushed, looking at the floor. He'd hoped no one would draw attention to it.

"That's what I said." Bert laughed, smiling condescendingly at Mikey as if he had hearing difficulties.

Mikey bit the corner of his mouth, jaw set angrily, saying nothing, but staring Bert down defiantly.

Not that Bert noticed, or gave a shit - either way. "How you been Mikes?" he asked him, grinning, and slapped him on the arm.

"Alright." Mikey said shortly. "You?"

"Not baaaaad, not fucking bad!"

Mikey wondered just what the fuck Bert had to be so damn happy about all the time. Though it wasn't even really happiness that he begrudged Bert, it was just that perpetual shit-eating grin that pissed him off so much.

"Hey Mikey, good to see you."

Mikey woke up and looked round at Jeph stood next to him smiling, Dan by his side.

"Hey guys, alright?" he said, putting on a smile, and doing a friendly hand-clasp-shoulder-bump with each of them.

"Yeah yeah, what about you? It's been a while." Jeph smiled.

"Yeah." Mikey laughed. "What, like two years?"

"Fuck!" Dan laughed.

As they all greeted each other and caught up, the six of them migrated into the restaurant and found their way to a table.

Throughout the meal, amid all the noise of the kitchen, the road outside and the other customers, Mikey could hear only one sound.

"It's so good to see you again, two years is a long fuckin' time."

Bert had this deep smile on his face as he sat opposite Gerard, staring intensely at him.

"Yeah I know, I don't know where it went to." Gerard smiled back.

"You look real good." Bert said, resting his foot on top of Gerard's under the table.

Gerard's cheeks flushed a little, his smile growing. He looked up at Bert through his eyelashes and stared at him. "So do you."

Mikey's teeth were grinding so hard he could hear it inside his skull. His eyes were fixed on Bert in a livid glare that went completely unnoticed.

"So, Mikey, what you been doing with yourself?"

He looked around at Dan trying to bring him into a conversation. "Oh, y'know; work, play, same shit different day. What about you guys? Gee said you've just made another album?"

"Yeah yeah, it'll be our..." he looked at Quinn.

"Third." Quinn said.

"Third."

"Wow, awesome." Mikey smiled faintly, nodding. "So have you completely wrapped it up or is it still in the editing stage?"

As they talked, he started to relax, mentally thanking Dan for distracting him from his brother and Bert. He couldn't deal with that right now, not this time. Some things never change. Some people never change.

"Well we've finished recording all our parts, and the mixing's almost done, it's just all the production bullshit and all that left. We're pretty happy with how it's turned out, I mean, it's different to our last two, but the sound's pretty awesome, we're really into it. Hopefully it'll be received well, I don't know what the fans will..."

*

"Awesome to see you guys again." Quinn said, bidding goodbye to Gerard and Mikey outside again on the corner.

"Yeah, great to catch up." Gerard smiled, hands in his pockets.

"So you're gonna draw up some sketches before we see you next?" Jeph asked.

"Yeah yeah, definitely. I love the ideas you guys have, so I'll just work with it and see what I come up with." Gerard nodded.

"Great, can't wait to see them."

"Alright, s'later Mikes." Quinn said, turning and giving Mikey a friendly slap on the shoulder.

"Yeah yeah, see you soon." he replied, giving a similar goodbye to Jeph and Dan.

His attention was diverted though over Jeph's shoulder by Bert and Gerard hugging tightly, and Mikey distinctly saw Bert's hand trail down to Gerard's ass as he held him. Gerard simply laughed and leaned his hips into Bert's body.

"I'll call you then?" Bert asked as he pulled away.

"Yeah." Gerard smiled softly, pushing a hand through his hair self-consciously.

Mikey was yet again distracted by the grinding of his teeth, and he realised his mouth was pursed and his hands were clenching at his sides. He growled low in his throat and turned away, walking back to his car.

Somewhere behind him he heard Gerard say his quick goodbyes and join him. As soon as Gerard shut the door, Mikey pulled out and put his foot down.

They drove in silence. To say the air was uncomfortable would be an understatement - tension was rife and eyes were out of the window for entirely different reasons than earlier.

Gerard was the first to speak. "Why do you have to be so hostile to Bert?"

Mikey's hands gripped the wheel, knuckles flexing white. "He's a smackhead and a layabout and a disgusting, slimy, good-for-nothing jerk." he hissed.

"He's my friend - you could at least try and be pleasant."

Mikey laughed sarcastically. "Friend? You think he wants to be your friend?"

Gerard threw him an angry look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Please Gerard, he could only have been less subtle if he'd whapped his cock out over the table." Mikey scoffed, his disgust evident on his face.

Gerard's eyes darkened as he stared at Mikey. "And what of it?" he said tightly.

"He's scum, Gee!" Mikey snapped. "He's a fucking dirty crackhead and you deserve better."

It was quite clear that they were no longer talking about pleasantries and friendships.

Gerard ground his teeth. "So, what. It's my decision and I like him."

"He's no good for you." Mikey pushed, looking over at Gerard and immediately turning away again when he saw the look he was greeted with from his brother.

"I'll be the judge of that." Gerard spat. "It's got fuck all to do with you."

Mikey's heart punched his sternum, everything in his being crying out that it did. "It will have when he lets you down and I pick up the pieces!" he shouted, looking at Gerard again, stubbornly, as they pulled up at a stop light.

Gerard went quiet and held Mikey's gaze, seemingly from miles away. Mikey's protective, imploring eyes were met with Gerard's cold and closed off ones. It sent a sickening chill down Mikey's spine.

Gerard broke eye contact and looked Mikey up and down hostilely. "Don't worry, you won't have to." he said flatly, and got out of the car, walking off down the street.

Mikey stared after him in disbelief, everything falling into pause as he didn't know what to say or think or do.

He was jerked back to life a moment later when the man in the car behind sounded their horn at him. Mikey looked at him, then at the light which had gone green. He blinked a few times and pulled the car into drive, carrying on down the road, biting his lip. "Fuck!" he cursed, smacking the steering wheel. He sighed deeply, breath shaky, and pushed his hair back.

It took a few minutes for Mikey to take in where he was, having just been following the road, and think about where he was going. He didn't want to go home, not yet. Not if Gerard would be there. He flicked his right indicator on and changed course, heading into town instead.

Soon enough Mikey found his way to the nearest bar, pulling up outside a weathered brick frontage with 'Terra Incognita' painted in red on a plaque hanging above the door. He spared it a glance as he locked the car over his shoulder and walked through the single-width door.

Mikey walked straight up to the bar and sat down on a stool, barely even looking around him, and ordered a whiskey, eyes on the counter. He glanced up and muttered his thanks when the barman put it in front of him, then took a big swig and leaned on his elbow, glass in hand, and sank into his thoughts.

How dare Bert fucking McCracken, how fucking dare he, throw himself at Gerard like that. How dare he think he had that power, how dare he think it was his place, how dare he think that Gerard was his to take.

How dare Gerard let him. How could Gerard let him. How could he.

Mikey's throat squeezed itself shut and he had to swallow down a sob, pushing back the tears that wanted to run free and stroke his cheeks. He threw back another gulp of whiskey and signalled for a refill. Fucking Bert. He had to come and stick his cock where it wasn't wanted. Just when things were going good for Mikey, just when he was starting to think that Gerard's alcohol-affections came from somewhere true, from somewhere sober; just when he was starting to believe that Gerard was hiding something that wanted to jump out and make itself known, hiding something just like Mikey.

But no. Little Mikey's nothing more than a convenient fuck after all. A body at the right place at the right time, a sure-fire fuck at the end of the night, a back-up should all else fail. The prostitute his brother wouldn't pay for. Or have to.

His fucking brother.

How pathetic can you get? Pinning all your hopes and dreams on someone who only looks at you like that when they're so drunk and horny that they'd fuck a dog. Someone who only touches you because you're there and you're willing. Spreading your legs for your own flesh and blood. Falling in love with an orgasm that's forgotten the next day. How pathetic can you get.

Mikey ordered up another.

Mikey Way: a twenty four year old heterosexual walking talking disposable blow-up doll to his one and only brother who he's hopelessly and foolishly in love with. Nope, it doesn't get more pathetic than Mikey Way.

He swigged back half of the glass, actually tasting his contempt of himself.

"They say three's for a good time and four's to forget."

Mikey's eyes flicked up to the voice in front of him. The barmaid that had brought his drink stood against the counter, looking perceptively at him through black-smudged bright green eyes, toying with the ring in her red lip, one eyebrow raised. "You okay?

It seemed like a pretty dumb question, considering.

"Do I look like I want to fuckin' talk?" Mikey snapped at her, gesturing at himself - drinking silently, alone and bleary-eyed - with his hand.

She put her hands up apologetically and shrugged her eyebrows as she backed off and went to clean some glasses.

Firmly back in the real world, Mikey looked back down at his hands, sighing. He downed the rest of his drink, not even wincing, slapped a note on the counter, then got up and left.

He paused in front of his car, then gathered enough sense to realise that that would be a bad idea, and put his hands in his jacket pockets, walking home instead.

Mikey didn't even realise he was home until he walked into his front door. He stumbled back in shock and looked at what had hit him. He realised where he was and grunted, pulling his keys out of his pocket and filtered through them, holding them in front of his face. There were only two keys on the ring, both entirely different in shape, colour, size and function, and yet Mikey stared at them both for a very long time, frowning in confusion. He picked one and slid it in the lock on the second attempt, twisted it, and the door lurched open successfully, taking him with it. Mikey regained his balance, cleared his throat, and shut the door. He put his keys back in his pocket and walked down the hall.

There was a noise from the side and Mikey paused, looking through the doorway to the living room, seeing Gerard curled up on the couch watching TV. Gerard looked up at the noise of Mikey's footfalls.

They made eye contact. Mikey stared at Gerard blankly, then walked straight off and up the stairs.

He slammed his bedroom door behind him.

Mikey stumbled around his bed and banged into his bedside table. He looked down at it, frowning as if it'd come out of nowhere. Then he froze, his blood-shot eyes fixed on City of Spades on the tabletop. Mikey picked it up, turned the book over in his hand, then threw it against the wall with a growl.

What a difference a day makes.


(FYI, 'terra incognita' is Latin for 'the land of unknown'.)