FicWad

Chapter 2

3 hours ago, I left a message in the tour bus, telling the guys I was leaving My Chemical Romance. I lied of course, I love my kids, but Jamia had her parents and my parents to help her out. The real reason I left was because of Gerard. I love him too much and it was causing me pain. I had to get over him for our families’ sake.

An hour ago, I got a phone call from Gee.

“The fuck you leave for? I know kids are troublesome, but seriously you can’t lie to us about that Frank. I know you left because of me.” He was angry. Even though it was on the phone I was scared.

“I can’t be that little bit on the side.”

“That was 3 years ago Frank. You’re married now. You’ve got to get over me.”

“That’s what I’m doing.” I choked on my words.

“What?”

I swallowed, hard. “I’m leaving to get over you. There’s nothing for me in that band if I can’t have you.”

“What about the fans?”

The fans. I’d been so selfish. How could I have forgotten about them? A tear hit my hand. I realised the mistake I’d made, but I couldn’t go back now. It was too late. “Matt and Bob left. I’m sure one more leaving won’t make much of a difference.”

“But you’ve been in the band longer than them…” I could hear that he was crying. But I couldn’t go back, if I did then he would have won and I’d put both our marriages in danger, not that I'd mind that, but for the sake of our kids.

“I’m sorry Gee,” I went to put the phone down, but he said something that made me change my mind.

“I love you Frank. I still love you.” I shouldn’t have said what I did in reply.

“Should have told me that earlier. It’s too late. Get over me, so I can get over you.” I hung up.

I looked up at the sky, darkness. Perfect. I don’t think any fans would find me or see me crying if it was dark. I didn’t know if I should have regretted what I’d done. I should have. I did. Gerard was the only person for me. The only hope for me.

After realising there was no way I could go back and expect everything to be how it was before, I wondered how I was going to get home. I had no idea where I was.

I wandered aimlessly, searching for a sign post. None. None at all. Where had we had our last show? Manchester. Great. I chose the best place to leave the band. England. So far away from my home, from Jamia. I had to go back.

My only choice was to ring Mikey.

I dialled his number, just wishing he’d understand. No answer. I tried Ray.

“Frank. I’m not being funny, but we all know you lied. You have no money to get a plane ticket home; Jamia knows you’re in England so it would have cost her the earth to call you. And LeATHERMOUTH? They couldn’t call you either.”

“I know. It was a pathetic excuse, but you’ve gotta understand…” I didn’t know if I should tell him.

“Understand what? That you love Gee? We all know that’s the reason you left. You’ve been pretty much miserable since he got married.” My hand formed a fist and my teeth grinded.

“You’ve got to understand. I couldn’t do it anymore. The phone calls with the ‘I love you more’ fights at the end. It should be me he’s having them with. Not her.”

“Frank, you sound a mess.” He was telling the truth. “I’m coming to get you. I’m not too far from where you are.”

“What do you mean? Have you been stalking me?!” A smile actually appeared on my face. It wasn’t forced, I laughed.

“Not exactly. Someone has to keep an eye on you. And I’m the most responsible.”

“So you left Mikey on his own?”

“He’ll be… Wait, no he won’t.” He sighed. I chuckled at Ray’s mistake. “Start walking back the way you came. We have to hurry.” And with that, I started thinking of ways to apologise.

I wasn’t walking for very long when I’d bumped into our very own Slash. He gave me one of his awesome bear hugs and I automatically felt happier. He explained that Gee was having problems, he couldn’t stop crying when I’d left. I felt terrible.

“Just say you’re sorry,” he looked down at me, I felt small. I mean, I am, but next to Ray, I was a gnome. “He’ll understand.”

“Will he? Will he, really? Because I lied. It’s out that I hate Lyn-Z. It’s out that I fake my happiness all the time. I felt used when me and Gee use too…” I drifted off. Ray didn’t want to hear me ramble. I changed the subject. “Did you hide the forks?”

He smiled and laughed. “Yeah,” he shook his head.

We walked the 2 and a half hour journey back to the tour bus. I hadn’t realised I’d walked so far, and by time we’d returned, my legs ached. Ray knocked on the door; I was ready for the worst.

Thankfully, Mikey answered, hugging a toaster that was still plugged in.

“Ray, where did you put the forks? My toast got stuck…” Poor Mikey, he wasn’t blessed with the most logical of minds. Ray turned to me.

“Thank God I hid them, eh?” He giggled.

I stumbled to find the words to say and I stuttered a little when I did find them. “H-h-how’s G-Gee holding up?” I was scared I’d hurt him too much.

“He’s fine,” Mikey said, smiling. A grin appeared on my face, but his expression changed. And with that, so did mine. “If you call hiding under the counter, looking for anything he can hurt himself with ‘fine’.”

I took my gaze back to my feet. Ray patted me on the shoulder and shooed Mikey back in the bus. I stood in the cold for a moment, breathing deeply. This was my mess, I had to fix it. Finally, I decided to stay on tour, but as soon as it was over I was leaving.

Mikey came out to tell me he was sorry and that’d be okay.

“He’s my brother, y’know. So I’m going to be like this when he gets hurt. I’m sorry though Frank. I shouldn’t have been THAT mean,” He hugged me. “He’s okay now. Ray is looking after him. As long as there are no cupcakes, he’ll be fine.” Mikey grinned and me and I giggled. Using past things that happened to us was our way of cheering each other up.

“I’m so sorry, I just… I couldn’t-“ Before I could continue, Mikey put his finger on my lips.

“Shhhh” He said. I was confused. And out of that confusion and how depressed I was, I made another mistake.

“Mikey,” I called.

“Mhmm…” He said, watching the door, to see if Ray or Gee would come out. I put my hand on his face and turned him towards me.

I kissed him. I knew the fans wrote about Frikey, but never did I actually think I’d live to have a Frikey moment. This wasn’t like the fan-fiction though, this was reality, and obviously, Mikey didn’t think the way I did.

“What the…?!” I heard from the door. Mikey pulled away, he hadn’t actually kissed back, but he started yelling he was sorry.

“I’m sorry Gee, I just…” Was he apologising for me? I felt bad enough as it was, I didn’t need one of my best friends to take some weight of my shoulders for me.

“Mikey, can you go inside please. I need to talk to Frank.” Mikey stood up and ran inside, not looking back. “What were you thinking?” His eyes were red and his face was blotchy, there was no way he could hide that he’d been crying.

“No properly, I’ll tell you that. I’m… I’m sorry. I couldn’t carry on as just the past, I wanted to be the present and future too. Obviously, I can’t…”

“You…” He started, but he didn’t finish. I looked at him, for a while, hoping he would, but nothing. I told him my decision.

“I’m still leaving.” He gave me a look, the kinda look your friends give you when you tell them who you fancy. “After the tour. I’m going.”

“Frank… Please don’t. You’re needed” He said, shuffling closer to me.

“It’s not you, it’s me. I’ve loved you since the start. And I need to get over you, this is the only way,” He put his arm round me, and my head nestled perfectly on his shoulder, against his neck. I felt at home, this felt right. He felt it too, I knew it.

“Remember when we used to count the stars?” He asked, of course, we’d never counted the stars together, I looked at him confused. He put his head down and chuckled. “Sorry, that’s with…”

My hand tightened again.

“I’m sorry,” Before he could explain, I got up.

“I’m fed up of this. All this talk about Lyn-Z. It's me or her. Chose one. Forever.” I screamed as I walked into the tour bus.