FicWad

So here it is, the 21st chapter! I hope you all enjoy, it took me a couple days to write this one. Once again thank you all who have been reading. Everytime I see your reviews it reminds me why I am still want to write this(:



Chapter 21: Realized

5 days later

Paige's POV:

Shower, write, work, coffee, home, lay in bed and stare at the ceiling and think about when I would talk to Gerard. That has been my routine for the past 5 days. But finally, I think I have made up my mind. I knew exactly what I would say to him, and this time I wouldn't stumble over my words. I will say each word smoothly and precisely because I am prepared, but no too prepared. I cracked my eyes open to greet the day that awaited me, knowing I would not be following my temporary daily routine today. Today I pulled my self away from my bed and texted Gerard. I told him to be ready at his house at 7, because I was ready. He didn't say anything back but he knew regardless I was sure, and tonight Gerard wasn't going to see the old me. I was going to be a new, more refreshed Paige. Over the past few days I had decided I needed change, which is why I bought the red hair dye that is living underneath my sink. I was feeling quite confident when I pulled the box out from underneath the counter and compared my dull brown hair to the dark lively red color with a little brown in it, so the old me wasn't completely gone. I know it sounds stupid to say I'm going to be different just from changing my hair, but in a way I kind of believed I would. I felt like making a statement, I wasn't going to put up with shit anymore, and I was going to live in the moment and not think for once. Eager to begin my "transformation" I rushed into my bathroom, swung the white cabinet doors open and revealed the dye's hiding place. I tore the box open and mixed the chemicals together, the smell was strong, and some might say it was rancid, but to me, today, it was the smell of change. I was beyond excited I combed the knots out of my naturally curly brown hair. I took one last look at it before I sectioned it off. As I gazed at my reflection in the mirror I wondered whether or not I would like the new person I wanted to be, or was going to become. I wondered if this is something I really wanted. Would I like the outcome? Would it be what I expected? I stopped my thoughts before I could go any further... I was thinking... I needed to stop thinking about everything. Where is the thrill in life if all I am ever doing is analyzing ever decision I make? I need to learn to jump without knowing if someone is there to catch me. I quickly sectioned off my hair and squeezed the first drop if blood red dye onto my hair. There was no turning back now; I had to go through with it. Just like tonight, as much as I wanted to call the whole thing off I was in too deep now. I finished spreading the blood red concoction through my hair. I paced around my bathroom for 25 minutes, anticipating what the result would be. I hopped in the shower and watched the blood stream out of my hair, with each drop of dye that hit the shower I felt a piece of the old me leaving, dying in a way. After my hair stream was clear water again I hopped out of the shower and blow dried and straightened my hair. I looked in the mirror and saw different girl. A girl who didn't take any shit. I also realized I couldn't turn back now; I had to go through with tonight. I had no where to run this time, but for the first time in a long time...I didn't want to run.

Lindsay's POV

Paige texted me saying that she had something to show me. As usual we planned to meet at our usual Starbucks table, however when I arrived I didn't see Paige anywhere. I did see some red haired girl sitting in our usually seat. Well her hair wasn't red red, in the shade it looked dark brown but when the light hit it, the color shifted into a shiny deep red. I was confused as to who this stranger was in Paige and mine's spot. We clearly claimed this table years ago. The workers even knew we sat there and sometimes brought our orders out to us.

"Hey!" The red head exclaimed, as she cheerfully waved to me.

Was she waving to me? Was this one of those situations where you think someone is waving to you but they're really not... I had no idea how to react. So I just stood there, glaring at her. Which probably made the situation awkward, but I didn't care. The closer I looked at the red head she looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Dude Linds" What the fuck how does she know my name? Is this girl one of those freaking stalker chicks? But why would anyone stalk me I'm not that inter--What am I saying I am one the interesting people ever. "It's me...Paige." the red head identified herself and needless to say I was shocked.

"No... you would never...did you?" I questioned her; I didn't need to say too much, because she already knew what the question at hand was.

"Yeah! I did!" She said excitedly, and she was smiling. I hadn't seen genuinely smile in the last week or so.

"Well you look fucking hot girl! But why the sudden change?" I said, and she really did. The hair color made her skin look a bit tanner and made her brown eyes pop.

"I felt it was time for a new me. I'm trying this whole new thing where I don't think...I just do." she explained, she caught me before I make any kind of joke. "But that doesn't include things like cliff diving. Only simple things for now" she said.

"I think that's great! But does any of this "new" Paige intend on talking to Gerard?" I questioned nervously. I wanted to ease into the subject, because I didn't know if the Gerard thing was still really touchy.

"Why yes...Yes it does. In fact I am going to his house in an hour or so to talk to him." Paige said filled with pride.

"Good, very good." I replied.

I didn't say anything else, I waited for Paige to spill out everything she was going to say to Gerard later... but she didn't. We just sat in silence drinking coffee and smoking our cigarettes.

"Well..." I said finally breaking the short silence.

"Well what?" Paige said calmly, while she gently flipped a piece of red hair out of her face.

"I'm waiting..." I said in a sing song voice hoping she would catch on, even though I kind of thought she already had and was just toying with me.

"Waiting? For what?" She asked innocently, lightly squinting her eyes at me. I guess she genuinely didn't know what I was implying.

"I'm waiting for the part where you spew out what you are going to say to Gerard... you know... like you ALWAYS do." I explained to her.

"Ohhh." she said finally realizing and relaxing her eyes, but now I had mine squinted at her wondering what she was up to. "Well I can' tell you that." she said strangely cheerful.

"Why not!? I'm your best friend! We always tell each other stuff! And we have matching hair now! You can't betray the matching hair! Tell me!" I pleaded with her but all she did was shake her head no.

"If I tell you what I am going to say I will think about it and probably chicken out so I can't do that!" she said quickly to her, probably getting the thought of thinking about tonight out my head as fast as possible.

"Hmm... You're weird...but okay... Whatever." I replied accepting the fact I wasn't going to get anything out of her.

"Oh shut the fuck up you're just as weird as I am, maybe even a little more. May I remind you of the time you recited your monologue in about 12 different accents? None which where necessary." Paige cocked an eye brow up at me, while she chuckled at the memory.

"Hey, they added character!" I exclaimed. "What about the time you were behind that bush and---"

"Not important!" Paige quickly cut me off, her face was painted bright red so she knew what I was talking about and I didn't feel the need to go any further.

"See we are both equally weird, but it's almost 6:40, so I believe you have somewhere to be getting to... Am I correct?" I glanced at her sharply wondering if she would actually go through with this. Because Frank and I had to practically trick her into talking to Gerard last time, and I think it went...well...okay...all right it went all right.

"Ah, yes. I have a date with the devil." She chuckled as her shiny red hair blew in the soft breeze. "I'll call you tomorrow and tell you how it went kay?" she asked before she started walking towards her car.

"Yes m'am!" I said excitedly and she started walking away. "Oh one more thing!" I yelled to her from the table. She turned around and capped her hand over her eyes so she could see me through the bright sunlight.

"What's that!" she yelled back from the parking lot.

"I want to know EVERYTHING. Do you understand when I say EVERYTHING?" I raised my eyebrows at her in a seductive manner, she just laughed.

"Yes Lindsay I do. See ya!" and with that she waved. Hopped in her car and was off.

Gerard's POV

"What do you mean she didn't like the song?" Frank yelled in disbelief as busted through the front door of my house. "Every girl secretly wants a song written about them." He said confidently while ventured into my basement.

"Really Frankie? Every girl?" I questioned him as I moved to my soft bed that I had been missing all day.

"Well...yeah...That's why I have one stashed for Lindsay incase I ever fuck up." He said knowingly.

"What! You wrote an emergency song for Lindsay!" I laughed hysterically. Sometimes Frank did things that I found hilarious that he thought were very serious.

"Yeah! Wanna hear it, I can sing it accapella." He smiled like a 3 year old who had just learned to color inside the lines.

"Go for it..." I sighed.

"Okay here it goes." he took a deep breath in and started to sing. "Oh Lindsay, my sweet Lindsay. I love the way smile endlessly. Oh Lindsay, you like spaghetti and cupcakes with funfetti..."

"Frank" I interjected trying to get him to shut up, but that clearly did not work.

"Your favorite color is purple." he sang over my interjection.

"FRANK SHUT UP!" I finally roared.

"Ah fuck, what's the matter? Is it bad?" He questioned me anxiously.

"Frank, if you ever sang that to her I am pretty sure she would dump your ass." I said to him chuckling. Then mocked him by reciting some his song. "Oh Lindsay, you like spaghetti and cupcakes with funfetti".

"Dude fuck off!" he yelled as he punched me in the shoulder. I rubbed my hand where he had hit because it hurt just a little. "Sorry... but have you heard from Paige, it's been 5 days since any of us had." Frank questioned me, as he joined me on my bed.

"Actually I have, she is coming over in about ten minutes. ..." I looked at my watch realizing the time. "Which means...fuck"

"What does it mean Gee?" Frank asked concerned.

"It means you need to get the fuck out of here now!" I said quickly.

I dragged Frank up the stairs and pretty much through him out of the door. I started cleaning my house again; it's kind of become a thing now whenever Paige comes over. Only because I get so nervous. This girl is constantly changing her mind on whether she wants to for give me or not. I went downstairs and yanked a comb through knotty raven hair and put a new clean t-shirt, I went with the Iron Maiden shirt today. I ran back upstairs and cleaned up even more. I checked to see if Mikey was home, he wasn't. I don't know where he has been the past few day's, and my mom was back at Elena's this weekend. It was 7:00 and all I could do was pace around my house and wait anxiously for Paige to get her. I think I had paced around my house about 30 times before I finally heard the chime of the doorbell. I rushed to the window and made sure it was Paige, because God knows we didn't need a repeat of last time. I peaked out the curtain, I could barely see the girl at my door but she had red hair that sparkled in the sun, it didn't look like Paige but her car was in front of my house. I went over to the door unlocked it; I grasped the brass handle that was cold to the touch and yanked it open.

"Oh my god..." was all I could managed to say I was astonished. The woman at the door was Paige, and she looked different, it wasn't just that she had dyed her hair. Which I have to say made her look even more beautiful than she already was. But she looked confident, ready, and had this mysterious glow to her. I wasn't prepared for this and I had no idea what was about to happen tonight.

Paige's POV

"Well I hope that's a good 'oh my god'" I said looking at Gerard's baffled face. He looked genuinely surprised to see me with my deep red hair.

The whole ride up here felt like it took years. I kept wondering what Gerard was going to say, and if he would even like what I have done with myself. But my thoughts were eased when I saw his expression as he opened the door, I could see that I had caught him off guard, and that made me feel more confident about what I was going to say to him.

"You look beautiful." he said absent mindedly and his hazel eyes were fixed on my new hair.

"Thanks Gee." I smiled sweetly; I could feel my face painting itself a tomato red. I walked past him and started to head for his basement. When I had reached the entrance of the stairs I noticed Gerard wasn't behind me.

"Well...are you coming are not? " I turned around to see him frozen by the door, his hands were shaking. I had no clue why he was so nervous, but I knew it would ease off later. "Because we have some stuff we need to talk about." I nudged my head towards the basement, signaling him to follow me.

"Oh...uh yeah...I'm coming." he quickly jumped out of his trance and walked towards me. I could see his face turn pinkish and his eyes had a look of "god I am so stupid" for just standing there for the past few minutes.

I walked down the stairs with Gerard behind me. His room was pitch black, except for that one beam of sunlight that always shined through it. I fumbled looking for a light switch but I eventually found it. I flicked it on and the room illuminated itself with light. I looked around the room for Gerard who was leaning against the wall in his room, smirking at me. He was just trying to mask his anxiety now, by looking relaxed. But I could see he wasn't sure what was about to happen, and neither was I.

"Okay so, I think you should sit down because there is a lot of shit I have to say and you probably aren't going to want to stand that long. I know I am not." I said to him calmly and without saying a word we both mad our way to his bed and sat on the edge.

"I don't want you to say anything until I am finished okay, I am just going to talk and all I want you to do is simply listen." I said slowly as I moved a piece of red hair away from my face. "Got it?"

"Yeah." he said softly as his hazel eyes connecting with my brown ones.

"All right, well first off I wanted to say that I loved that song. That has to be the most thoughtful think anyone was ever done for me. I was shocked, and if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have realized what I did in the past five days." I said to him firmly, when I looked up I could see him relax a little more, even softly smile because I had loved his song.

"With that being said I have had a lot of time to think over the last five days. I kept analyzing you, and why you did what you did. I could really come up with a clear answer, except for what Lindsay had been saying to me all this time. It was closure, you needed to realize that you didn't want her anymore, that you had moved and you were a different person. So I kind of should be thanking Rebecca because if it weren't for her you probably wouldn't have wrote me a song, or realized how much I really meant to you so soon. The same goes for me. Over the past few days, I have realized how much you care about me Gerard; you have tried so hard to get me to forgive you. Fuck you even wrote me a beautiful song, and all I have done is throw it back in your face, because I couldn't see past one mistake you made. I guess I had forgotten that everyone makes mistakes and it's if they learn from that really counts and I feel like you have. Which is why, I want to forgive you, I want to pick things up from where they were, and I want our relationship to grow from this. Because I do truly care for you Gerard and I want you all of you." I had spewed out everything I had been feeling and I could only hope that he felt the same as I did.

I looked at Gerard, he was silent. His eyes were fixated on his black comforter and wouldn't move. It was silent for a couple minutes, which made nervous.

"You know..." he finally spoke. "I thought about just moving on after all that has happened. But you're right I do care about you, and I do want to be with you. I love everything about you, and I don't think I need to say anything else because you just said it all" he said moving his eyes to connect with mine; we were both smiling as big as we could. Gerard moved the hair away from my face and brushed his hand against my cheek. I had missed this; I had missed him so much. I couldn't be happier than I was right now.

"Oh Ge---" he kissed me, he kissed me deeply.

Out of all the times we kissed in the weeks before not one of them was as powerful as this. I could feel myself loosing control. I don't know if it was just because I missed his touch or if this was really just the most passionate kiss ever. I finally started kiss him back. I grasped his ebony hair and grazed his bottom lip with my tongue wanting entrance. Our tongues collided; massaging one another's gently as they grazed passed each other. I could feel him starting to pull away for air, so we broke away from the kiss.

"Whoa" we both said simultaneously.

Gerard was about to speak, but I didn't want him to I just wanted kiss him. I just wanted him in general. I grabbed him into me and started kissing him again. This time I just pushed my tongue into his mouth, and pushed him down onto the bed. I could hear him moan into the kiss, I took his hands and pressed them against my breasts, as I continued to kiss him. It felt amazing; I let out a gentle moan and bit his lip before pulling away. He turned us over so I was on my back and he was on top of me. He started kissing my neck rapidly. Each time I felt his hot lips make contact with my skin I let a moan escape. He started to suck and bite my neck a little which drove me crazy.

"Oh Gerard' I moaned.

He moved his hands moved up my shirt and removed my bra, and then he threw off his black Iron Maiden shirt. I looked upon his perfect ivory skin and perfectly toned abs wanting him more and more each second. His mouth was moving down as he quickly tore my shirt of off my body. He gently sucked on my nipple. "Oh fuck" I moaned again, that feeling of euphoria was back and I was loving every second of it. Then I pushed him off me and pulled him up so our eyes meant. He didn't look confused this time, his face was just accepting of the fact that he thought I was going to tell him to stop.

"I want you inside of me Gerard" I whispered in his ear. He looked like he didn't believe me and just hung over me for a second.

"Are you sure" he finally said calmly. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do this."

"No, I am ready." I said to him smiling reassuringly and before I knew what was going on our lips were colliding again.

We were both on our knees facing each other on Gerard's bed our tongues still attached to each other and our hands exploring each others bodies. My hands made my way to his belt and I yanked it off as fast as I could, then I quickly unbuttoned his pants revealing his hard on that was hiding in his boxers. Gerard threw me down and yanked my skirt off. We were grinding against each other. I couldn't stay silent any longer I buried my face in his neck and started to moan.

"Oh fuck Gerard, just do it already." I couldn't wait anymore I wanted him inside of me.

"If you want me baby, you are going to have to a lot better than that." he said seductively. I had forgotten that Gerard in bed was way different than normal Gerard. "Beg" is what he managed to spit out as he grinded hard against me.

"Please Gerard; I want you inside of me so badly. I can't wait anymore." I mewled out.

"Mmm fuck I want you too." he moaned in ecstasy. He was still grinding against me as we started to kiss me again. Our wet tongues were slivering past each other quickly, and he reached over in his drawer and pulled out a condom.

"Hold on" he said panting as he slipped the condom on. It felt like it took forever before his was back on top me. I grabbed him and kissed him for a second and bit his lip hard when I pulled away.

"Mmm Paige" he moaned out, I moved my lips down his neck sucking tenderly at each spot I came into contact with. I suddenly I could feel Gerard's dick rubbing up against my entrance.

"Oh please Gerard, don't tease me. I want you so fucking bad." I moaned out in pleasure.

"You think this feels good, you have no idea what's coming next baby" he said slyly, then I felt him thrust into me, since I had only had sex once it still hurt a little but the pleasure out shined it.

"Oh yeah" I moaned out softly as I made contact with Gerard's lips again. I could feel him thrusting inside of me gently. But I wanted more than this; I knew it could feel even better.

"Harder Gerard" I mewled out. I could feel his thrust becoming more violent than before.

"Oh fuck Paige." Gerard moaned out cocking his head upwards. His raven hair covered his face.

"God you're so fucking hot Gerard" I moaned out.

He grasped my hair and kept thrusting into me faster and faster and the feeling was fucking amazing. I could feel him inside of me and I knew this time that it wasn't a mistake.

"Say my name" Gerard whispered as he leaned into my ear.

"Ah fuck GER-ARD" I moaned out in ecstasy I could feel my body trembling, I was so close to my orgasm and I could feel Gerard's soft ivory hands grasp my breasts, as he pumped himself into me.

I could feel his body begin to sweat, as he rubbed up against me as he thrusted. After a good ten minutes of us mewling and moaning eachother's names, I knew this sensational pleasure was almost over.

"Oh fuck Paige, I'm so close." he pumped himself inside of me faster and harder and that did it for me.

"OH FUCK!" I screamed out my orgasm, I had never felt so good before, and Gerard wasn't far behind. He pumped into me one last time before screaming out and falling down onto me.

"Oh shit" he panted as he pulled himself out of me. "That was fucking amazing." he sighed as he rolled his glisening body over next to me.

"Mhmm" I moaned I agreeance. I felt amazing and I could feel the smile plastered on my face.

Gerard wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer, he kissed me on the cheek and whispered into my ear softly.

"I love you Paige." he whispered softly and then closed his eyes and drifted off into sleep.

Before I relaxed I just smiled, because I knew he meant it, I snuggled up against him, held his hand and shut my eyes.

"I love you too Gerard."

Well that was it. That was the first real sex scene I have ever wrote, so I hope it wasn't to terrible. I hope you all enjoyed!