Categories > Original > Drama > Diary Of A Young Girl
6/2/11
I have to tell you about my friend Savannah. She has to be one of the sweetest people I know. And that's he real name. She doesn't have to be covered up.
Savannah is an amazing friend. She doesn't see the bad in anyone. I don't understand why people don't like her. Yes she has one of the most irritating habits known to man! But I don't hate her for that.
She just so amazing. And she gave me a compliment today. She said that I can sing... It ment so much to me, but, since I am so broke and it was beaten down into me that I can't sing worth a shit and that I'm tone def, I couldn't take the complement.
Come to think about it, I can't take any compliment. When ever some one does I get sad and say shit like "Ha, your funny." It hurts me so much. Everything does...
So, today me, my sister and Annie went out. But fist I had to come home from school. So I walked in, put my stuff down and the next thing I hear is screaming. I screamed my lungs out and was almost crying.
Annie saw how freaked I was and gave me a hug She was still laughing alittle, which I don't blame her...I would have laughed. BUt my sister was on the ground laughing and made fun of me when I told her a break in was one of my biggest fears...
Then we went to the pool. Annie and Her had a feld day. She told her things I didn't even know yet. And they were putting me down and It just made me feel even worse.
In the car, My sister was driving and Annie sat in the front. I sat in the back singing along to the music, looking out the window, and holding back tears. I can't hear them when I'm back there.
So when we were done, I asked if I cold go in the front. And the running joke is tha Annie's the favorite sister. So this is what she said ".....Well I am the favorite." Thanks...
And just over and over again! IT'S MAKING ME DECAY INSIDE! It nips and picks until I over flow with hurt and pain.
Remeber chapter two? Well that day this was my facebook status: "Wow my mask is so convicing I don't even know I'm hurt. Damn I'm good"
ONE PERSON cared enough to ask what was wrong. I want to know what people will think when I walk in with fake cuts on my wrists.
I'm so sick oh so sick of shit! (Hollywoodundead lyric) I swear! I'm going to scream the next time someone says somethng to me.
I try EVERYTHING and I can't get happy! I'm still hurting inside. I can't shake the feeling of disapointment. That everyone is looking down on me. It murders me how people think I don't have problems.
I think about my friend----Emma? Well, anyway, shes always so happy. All I think about is how much she must hurt inside.
Oh! Oh! Can I tell you about Annie's problems?! Oh, well, It suck for her because she has two guys who like her and one just wants to fuck her and the other wants to hold her hand a kiss her cheek. SHES CHASING AFTER THE ONE WHO WANTS TO FUCK HER!
Ugh! Oh and then she caplains about these guys who she DOESN'T know adding her on facebook and says she pretty and shit. And how an 18 year old likes her and BLAH FRICKEN BLAH!
She's had more boyfriends then I can remeber. But it seems like they're all she talks about.
But there's one thing that kills me most of all because well, it makes me feel like shit.
So my one boyfriend ONE boyfriend broke up with me and I still like him. He knew, annie knew, but then they started talking. He fell madly in love with her. And she knew I still liked him, and she went out with him.
They started dated secretly. When I found out, I wanted to break down crying but I said I didn't care.
It kills me she would do that to me. MY BEST FRIEND went out with the guy I liked. It just shows you guys prefer her over me.
I have another example. Dug. NOTE! I don't like him. At all. Just, listen.
Annie and I go hang out with him together. When he sees me he sees her. Vis versa. He texts her just as much as he texts me. But he's the one madly inlove with her.
It murders me! Because it's the perfect example!
Okay, enough pitty party today. I leave you with a poem. It haunted my mind until I typed it and let it free. I don't know where it came from, but here it is, tell me what you think.
My heart beat hurts.
It’s heavy and damp.
It is broken and beaten and just like me,
Damned.
Have you ever seen a heart so broken as mine?
Or is it just one of the many in the sea of blue and scarlet?
Can it ever be put back together?
Could the cure ever be found?
For my broken heart lying upon the ground.
Now locked up in chains
Hidden by walls
And by sound.
My heart is safe
Only in that one little place
It’s patched together with only a needle and string
Band aids don’t really help when you’re completely in two.
Your faithful servent, ~JS~
I have to tell you about my friend Savannah. She has to be one of the sweetest people I know. And that's he real name. She doesn't have to be covered up.
Savannah is an amazing friend. She doesn't see the bad in anyone. I don't understand why people don't like her. Yes she has one of the most irritating habits known to man! But I don't hate her for that.
She just so amazing. And she gave me a compliment today. She said that I can sing... It ment so much to me, but, since I am so broke and it was beaten down into me that I can't sing worth a shit and that I'm tone def, I couldn't take the complement.
Come to think about it, I can't take any compliment. When ever some one does I get sad and say shit like "Ha, your funny." It hurts me so much. Everything does...
So, today me, my sister and Annie went out. But fist I had to come home from school. So I walked in, put my stuff down and the next thing I hear is screaming. I screamed my lungs out and was almost crying.
Annie saw how freaked I was and gave me a hug She was still laughing alittle, which I don't blame her...I would have laughed. BUt my sister was on the ground laughing and made fun of me when I told her a break in was one of my biggest fears...
Then we went to the pool. Annie and Her had a feld day. She told her things I didn't even know yet. And they were putting me down and It just made me feel even worse.
In the car, My sister was driving and Annie sat in the front. I sat in the back singing along to the music, looking out the window, and holding back tears. I can't hear them when I'm back there.
So when we were done, I asked if I cold go in the front. And the running joke is tha Annie's the favorite sister. So this is what she said ".....Well I am the favorite." Thanks...
And just over and over again! IT'S MAKING ME DECAY INSIDE! It nips and picks until I over flow with hurt and pain.
Remeber chapter two? Well that day this was my facebook status: "Wow my mask is so convicing I don't even know I'm hurt. Damn I'm good"
ONE PERSON cared enough to ask what was wrong. I want to know what people will think when I walk in with fake cuts on my wrists.
I'm so sick oh so sick of shit! (Hollywoodundead lyric) I swear! I'm going to scream the next time someone says somethng to me.
I try EVERYTHING and I can't get happy! I'm still hurting inside. I can't shake the feeling of disapointment. That everyone is looking down on me. It murders me how people think I don't have problems.
I think about my friend----Emma? Well, anyway, shes always so happy. All I think about is how much she must hurt inside.
Oh! Oh! Can I tell you about Annie's problems?! Oh, well, It suck for her because she has two guys who like her and one just wants to fuck her and the other wants to hold her hand a kiss her cheek. SHES CHASING AFTER THE ONE WHO WANTS TO FUCK HER!
Ugh! Oh and then she caplains about these guys who she DOESN'T know adding her on facebook and says she pretty and shit. And how an 18 year old likes her and BLAH FRICKEN BLAH!
She's had more boyfriends then I can remeber. But it seems like they're all she talks about.
But there's one thing that kills me most of all because well, it makes me feel like shit.
So my one boyfriend ONE boyfriend broke up with me and I still like him. He knew, annie knew, but then they started talking. He fell madly in love with her. And she knew I still liked him, and she went out with him.
They started dated secretly. When I found out, I wanted to break down crying but I said I didn't care.
It kills me she would do that to me. MY BEST FRIEND went out with the guy I liked. It just shows you guys prefer her over me.
I have another example. Dug. NOTE! I don't like him. At all. Just, listen.
Annie and I go hang out with him together. When he sees me he sees her. Vis versa. He texts her just as much as he texts me. But he's the one madly inlove with her.
It murders me! Because it's the perfect example!
Okay, enough pitty party today. I leave you with a poem. It haunted my mind until I typed it and let it free. I don't know where it came from, but here it is, tell me what you think.
My heart beat hurts.
It’s heavy and damp.
It is broken and beaten and just like me,
Damned.
Have you ever seen a heart so broken as mine?
Or is it just one of the many in the sea of blue and scarlet?
Can it ever be put back together?
Could the cure ever be found?
For my broken heart lying upon the ground.
Now locked up in chains
Hidden by walls
And by sound.
My heart is safe
Only in that one little place
It’s patched together with only a needle and string
Band aids don’t really help when you’re completely in two.
Your faithful servent, ~JS~
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