FicWad

Pen in hand i look out of the window at the sunset.The sky is blood red ,streaked with golds,purples,oranges and pale pinks,it was a sight a very beautiful sight indeed.I tore my eyes away from the window and back to the paper to get on with the task at hand.I knew doing this was going to upset me greatly,but i had to it was kind of like closure for me,a chance to get on with my life.Sighing i stared at the blank peice of paper that would soon be filled with my thoughts and feelings,i knew i was going to give it to him tommorow.

Dear Frankie.

I was never honest with you about how I felt,so im going to tell you now,here it goes.

From the first day I met you,i've loved you more then life.
I remember the first time we met ,me ,ray,matt and mikey were playing our first gig,i was so nervous and there you were hanging out with your band,the minute I lay eyes on you,i knew i wanted to spend my life with you,as cheesy as it sounds.
Then you joined the band ,i was so happy i thought i was going to explode or something,you were so kind and sweet and i knew you were perfect for me.

There were many times when i could have told you but i chickened out ,to scared of rejection.As time moved on i convinced myself you would never love me ,with this revalation i got into drinking to block out the pain.I could see the worry in your eyes when you looked at me but i couldent stop ,i needed it.Finally i decided i needed to get better because it wasent blocking the pain out anymore it was making it worse.And while i was going through withdrawel you were there with me every step of the way,you never left mide side,you really cared for me and so i fell further in love with you then before.

As time went on we grew closer and i started to hope again that there was a chance for us ,but when the chance arrived,when you told me you loved me ,i got scared and i ran off ,i rejected you because i was scared and i now know that was the worse thing i ever did.
You dident hold it against me ,you seemed to not care that i rejected you,but now i understand it was because you thought i needed time to adjust ,but i dident need time i was just to scared to be with you.
Then i started dating Lynz and still you waited patiently ,waiting for me to return your love,but i dident.
And then came the night i ruined everything,me and Lynz decided to get married backstage,we dident tell you it was happening,you found us getting married just when we both said i do.I looked staright into your eyes and saw your heart break,and i knew i had done the stupidist thing in my life and i wish more then anyhing that i could take it back,but i cant.
After that ,you werent as close to me,you still acted hyper and like the usual frank we were used to but that was what it was just an act i could see the happiness dident reach your eyes and i knew it was my fault.

After a little while you brought home some girl called Jamia ,and i was so angry and jealous because i wanted you more then anything.I could tell you loved her but not as much as you loved me which brought me some comfort i suppose.I knew that if i left Lynz you would leave Jamia you told me,we decided to do that ,but then Lynz dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant and i knew i couldent leave her.
I told you and you told me you understood but i could tell you were upset and i felt bad for getting not only your hopes up but mine as well.

When bandit was born i was so happy and you were happy when i asked you to be godfather and we were close again and i knew that i still loved you more then Lynz .
Then you had the twins and i saw how happy you were ,which made me happy .

But frankie i want you to know that i always loved you more then anyone else in the world you are the most important thing to me ,and i just want you back and i know i cant have you i messed up and im sorry i shouldent have rejected you and i've regretted that moment ever since it happened.I love you frank and all i want is to hold you close and for you to be mine but you never can ,not anymore ,i lost my chance weeks ago of ever having a chance ,im sorry for not being honest.

But just so you know ,my heart will always belong to you and no one else not even Lynz

Love one and always Gee


next day

The rain fell heavily outside as everyone took their seats ,tears fell down my face silently.Alot of people were silent sitting in shock,some like me were crying.
Jamia sat with the Twins tears streaming down the face while Cherry and lilly clapped and laughed ,they dident understand that they were at their own fathers funeral and that they would never see him again.

"Gee,you can go up now"mikey sniffled ,he's eyes too were filled with tears at the loss of our friend,i nodded and stood up walking over to the coffin.your coffin.

There you are,as beautiful as usual,your skins paler though,you look peaceful and happy,im so sorry for never telling you how i felt to your face.One of my tears splash on your cheek as i place the letter in your pocket before turning away from you and taking my seat.

I had lost my chance with you to cancer ,and i miss you ,but i promise frankie that when i see you again i will tell you how i feel to your face ,i promise you that my demolition lover.