Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha

Rash Decisions: Part One - A Loss Too Much To Bear

by InuKag 6 reviews

Loss can lead to stupid decisions... Love can haze it even more. Inu/Kag Trilogy.. part one of the installment loves..

Category: Inuyasha - Rating: G - Genres: Angst - Characters: Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2006-05-27 - Updated: 2006-05-28 - 1071 words - Complete

He acted as if he didn't care... that she was gone and that she was never coming back. He acted like it didn't bother him that he was unable to protect her when it came down to her final hours. Sango knew better. One day when her beloved Miroku had taken Shippo to learn how to fish, Sango chose to stay behind and console her hanyou friend.

"Inuyasha?" She called out to the trees, but he was no where to be found. Finally, it clicked in her head where he probably was. As she made her way towards the makeshift gravesite of Inuyasha's mother, she saw the red of the fire rat cloth gleaming...standing out like a warning. She walked over to him and noticed his stoic face was streaked in tears; his eyes puffy. Walking up beside him, he barely acknowledged her presence. As she sat beside him, she rested her hand on his strong shoulder. They were silent for quite a while until Inuyasha finally spoke, in a very broken tone.

"I... I didn't save her. I can't believe I couldn't... save her." Sango felt a lump form in her throat as his amber eyes looked at her through a blaze of unshed tears. She put her arms around him and let him cry. Inuyasha never cried... they had only seen him do it twice, once when he thought that Kagome was going to die from the fire, and the other time as he held her dying body in his arms.

"Shhh... its okay Inuyasha. She pulled back and looked into his swollen eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in months... possibly true. Putting a hand to his face she looked at her friends grave, remembering when they laid her soul to rest. Inuyasha had insisted that she be buried beside his mother, and when they did, he refused to even attend. Instead Inuyasha went through the well to console Kagome's mother, apologizing profusely to her for not protecting her daughter. Her sullen response was simply 'Inuyasha, please don't blame yourself. She chose to be there with you knowing the dangers. Please do not blame yourself.' But he did. Damnit if he didn't blame himself everyday... he blamed himself for not protecting her, for not being able to revive her... mostly though, he blamed himself for not telling her that he loved her with all his heart. As if reading his mind Sango looked back to her friend who now sat staring at his beloved's grave stone. "Inuyasha? There's something that I need to tell you." She looked down and noticed a small patch of Sakura tree flowers placed over the stone. Inuyasha never looked away from them, he simply let out a sigh and held himself with his crossed arms. She opted to continue. "Inuyasha she knew. I hope you know that... she knew that you loved her...and..." she stopped as his eyes shot back to hers. There was a hopeful gleam of passion showing through. Her voice became quiet and she continued... almost in a whisper. "She loved you more than you could ever know." He sighed and placed a hand on her tomb. Standing he responded to the ex-demon slayer that sat at his feet.

"I really don't think she could have known just how much I will always love her Sango. But thank you so much. Now please, I need to be alone with my mother and my Kagome." His voice became quiet at the mention of her name. Sango collected her bearings and stood. Wiping away some tears of her own, she walked over to Inuyasha and hugged him tightly. "Thank you Sango." He tearfully whispered.

She walked back to the village to find that Miroku had been left to cook the fish on his own. Sitting beside him and faking a smile, he put his arm around her shoulder.

"Oh Miroku, he's not getting any better... he never leaves the graves now... I am getting so worried, this is not what Kagome would have wanted." Miroku looked at her and wiped a tear from her cheek.

"I don't know what to do anymore my dearest, Lady Kagome is gone now and... there was nothing that we could have done to save..." He stopped as Shippo made his appearance at the fire.

"I'm hungry... are we gonna eat yet?" he cried. Shippo was unaware of the death of his adopted mother, they had lied to the young kitsune and told him that she had simply been in a rush to get home to her own time. He had been saddened that she wouldn't say goodbye, but other than that... they just didn't want him to have to face yet another death of someone that he loved so dearly. Because of this, He was unaware of the reason's for Inuyasha's sulking. Miroku handed Shippo a small twig with some fish sliced on it and headed off to find Inuyasha.

"Hey Inuyasha! I have some food for you." He said to him as he came up beside him at the side of the river.

"Not hungry Miroku... but thanks anyway." The monk looked concerned.

"Inuyasha, you know ... I know how much this hurts..." Inuyasha shot him a glare.

"You have no clue how I feel.. how much this is KILLING me... you told Sango how you felt, you still have her breathing beside you. I don't have Kagome, and its my fault that she isn't here... you couldn't possibly how it is that I feel." He looked away off to the horizon. Miroku hung his head.

"Okay, so I don't know how you feel, and I am sorry for assuming that I could... but Inuyasha, you know you need to eat. You need to sleep, you need to live your life. Don't you think she would have wanted you to?" After the deliberation, Miroku realized that it was a losing battle and placing the fish beside him, he walked back. Inuyasha simply threw the cooked food into the river whence it came. He didn't deserve to live.

That night, he sat in the hut that she had once occupied... rolling the now purified and completed jewel in his hands. Suddenly he realized... the wish! It was then that he knew what he had to do. He couldn't live without her... he tried... this was his decision, and nobody was going to stop him.
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