Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It Was Just One Night
Frank's POV
I won't lie, waking up with Melody in my arms, my hand splayed across her stomach where our daughter slept, made me smile. I can't help myself. After everything I still want her. I want to hold her, kiss her, keep her and my daughter safe. Even after the situation with Gerard I want to know her, feel her, show her I can give her the love and affection she wants and deserves. If anything my urges are stronger, more prominent than before. Yet, just as badly as I want those things there is another part of me that fears just that.
I can't help but picture Gerard and Melody together every time I look at her. Every time I see her beautiful, sparkling blue eyes or feel her feathery soft skin beneath my fingertips I wonder if Gerard saw the same, felt the same. Did he stop to even pay attention to what she wanted? Did he consider what she needed? Or was it all about him? Was it all just a good fuck to him? Did it even bother him that my child is growing inside of her? Did she stop to consider our daughter as he fucked her?
I sighed, nestling my nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent as I pulled her body closer to mine. She hummed happily in her sleep but did not wake when I placed a light kiss to the side of her neck. I want more than anything for her to be mine. I want the two of us to raise our daughter together, to get our own home somewhere calm and pleasant. More than anything I want to see Melody and our daughter happy. I would do anything to bring them joy.
As strange as it may seem to some people, I can picture myself marrying this girl. The image of us buying our first home together, of raising our daughter together, of growing old together, of one day having more children and grandchildren is so vivid in my mind as if it has already happened. I want all of those things but I don't know if I can have them. I want to look past what Melody and Gerard have done because I know I am partially responsible but I can't shake the image of them together from my mind.
"Frankie?" Melody murmured, successfully tearing me from my thoughts.
"Hmm?" She rolled over, facing me.
"I'm sorry." I looked down on her frowning face, my brow furrowed in confusion.
"For what?"
"Everything."
"Mel, don't-"
"No, Frankie, let me finish." I frowned but nodded. "Frank, did you really mean what you said?"
"What?"
"When you said you changed for me, did you mean it?" I sighed.
"Yeah, I did."
"Then I think there is something you should know. Frank, I love you, not just as the father of my child or as a friend, I honestly love you. I don't expect you to reciprocate these feelings but I think you deserve to know. I don't know when or how it happened, honestly, but I can feel it every time we touch, every time I hear your voice. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you take care of and protect me and our baby and I want you to know how much I truly appreciate everything you do for us. Honestly, Frankie, I think it was always you. Looking back now, it should have always been you. I know you think I am young and you probably think I don't even know what love is but I can assure you that I do and it is. I know I have hurt you, Frankie, and for that I am sorry. I will always regret the mistakes I have made but I will never regret meeting you. I know you worry constantly about the fact once this baby is born there is no chance of me being a kid again but that's not what I want. I don't want to be a kid anymore. I want to be the best mother I can be to our daughter. I want to protect her from this ugly world, from making the same mistakes we have. I want you to stop worrying about me so much. I know you think I am fragile but I'm stronger than you give me credit for. Stop worrying about my innocence. You may have taken my virginity but I was far from innocent, Frankie." She paused, inhaling a deep but shaky breath. I squeezed her tighter, pressing our bodies closer. I could feel the thump thump thump of her heartbeat, closely resembling my own at this point. "Frankie, don't give up on me. I know I have made some horrible mistakes but if you care, even just a tiny bit, you will be able to one day forgive me. I am not asking for your forgiveness now because I know it is going to take time but please, Frankie, please never leave or give up on me."
My heart ached painfully in my chest and I squeezed my eyes closed to stop the few stray tears that threatened to fall as I held her tighter, pressing a kiss to her forehead. I wanted so badly to tell her I loved her, to kiss her and hold her, to make love to her but I couldn't bring myself to utter those words.
"I will never leave you or give up on you, Melody. Never."
"Thank you, Frankie, that means a lot to me. Just one more thing, okay? Don't alienate Gerard. He is one of your best friends. He is like a brother to you, Frank. I know he messed up, too but he loves you and you love him. I am not asking you to forgive him right now either but please think about it. I know you and I know the last thing you ever want is to be mad at him or hurt him in anyway. And, Frankie, you love your music. You love getting up on that stage and playing your heart out. You love the screaming fans and signing autographs. Do not give that up over this. Do not let yourself drift away from Gerard. He has been there for you when you made mistakes in the past. He has picked you up and helped you put the pieces back together again just as you have for him. Please do not let this ruin that, Frankie. I couldn't live with myself if you guys let this tear you apart."
I bit my lip, contemplating her words. She's right, I do love my music and the fans. I could never picture myself doing anything other than playing music with my best friends, my brothers. Even after what Melody and Gerard did I know, deep down in my heart, I still love them both. I could never picture my life without either of them in it.
"I won't, Mel. Regardless of what mistakes Gerard has made I still love him. I always have and I always will. That is never going to change. I promise." She nodded.
"Good."
"Mel, I want you to know that I do love you. I love you as a friend and as the mother of my child but also as a lover. My feelings for you run so much deeper than you will ever know and I wish, more than anything, I could show you that but I need time. Please try to understand." She sniffled, her sad eyes piercing mine as she nodded.
"I understand, Frankie." She murmured sadly, her voice shaking. I sighed.
"I'm sorry."
We lay there a while longer, her in my arms as she gripped me tightly, silent tears staining her cheeks. I traced familiar patterns across her abdomen, enjoying the feeling of my daughter's movements. It wasn't until I heard her soft snores did I realize she had fallen back into sleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her, instead I slipped from her grasp and slid from the bed quietly, making my way out of the room and into the kitchen where I found Mikey sipping on his usual morning coffee. I prepared myself a mug of the hot liquid before taking a seat across from Mikey.
"Morning, Mikes."
"You're an idiot."
"I...what?" I asked, confusion clouding my face.
"You heard me. You are an idiot, Frankie." I chuckled.
"And why is that?"
"That girl fucking loves you. She just poured her fucking heart out to you and all you can say is 'I'm sorry'? Frank, I know she fucked up but give her a break. You act like you haven't made mistakes. You and I both know that you have made more mistakes than she will ever make in her entire life. I know I can't say much in that department because I have made more than my fair share of mistakes but Frank, if you don't man up and claim her then someone else will. She will not wait forever, Frankie. She needs, no she deserves love and attention. She is so special, Frankie, and she deserves the best of everything. I know you can give her that if you will just open up to her, let her in. Don't be an idiot, Frank."
"I....I know, Mikey. I'm just scared. I don't want to get hurt and if I let her in, give her my heart I am opening up a door I cannot close. I know she deserves the best and I want to give her that but what if she hurts me, Mikey? What if I open my heart to her and she shatters it? I don't think I can handle that." He sighed, allowing his face to soften.
"Frankie, that is a risk you have to be willing to take. Don't you think she has the same fears? Don't you think she worries about what will happen when we go on tour again? Whether or not you will return to the old Frank? There is always the chance you will get hurt when dealing with love but you have to ask yourself one thing. Is it worth it? Is she worth the risk?" I gnawed at the inside of my cheek, chewing Mikey's questions over in my mind. Finally, I sighed, nodding weakly.
"Yeah, Mikey, she is. She's worth everything but I will never be the old Frank again. I will never be that stupid, irresponsible kid again. I can't be, Mikey, I have a family to care for now, a family that is going to rely on me to love and protect them."
"Then push your fears aside and go for it, Frankie. Do not let your fear control you because if you do you will lose her." I nodded.
"Thanks, Mikey. I think I needed to hear that." He smirked.
"I know. That's why I told you." I chuckled.
"Smartass." I muttered.
"Yeah, well, someone had to set you straight." He smiled, winking at me. "Oh, by the way, Pete called."
"Yeah? What did he want?"
"He just wanted to make sure you and Melody will be there tomorrow night and he said he changed your hotel room."
"He did what? Why?"
"He said Melody deserved a suite and he can't believe you didn't reserve one in the first place."
"Of course he did." I chuckled. "Well, we both know there is no sense in arguing with that stubborn fucker." Mikey laughed.
"Arguing with Pete Wentz is like arguing with a fucking brick wall."
"No, fuck that. I would rather argue with the brick wall."
"Why would you want to argue with a brick wall, Frankie?" Melody questioned sleepily as she wandered into the kitchen. I laughed as did Mikey.
"We were just talking about Pete. If you didn't already know he is a stubborn little fucker and I would rather argue with a brick wall than with him."
"Oh. Yeah, he does seem like the stubborn type." She muttered, yawning. I pat the seat next to me and she sat.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah. You know I am always hungry." She shot me a lopsided grin. I chuckled.
"Yeah, I know. Eating for two and all, right?"
"Yep. I think she eats more than I do, though. She's gonna weigh like a gazillion pounds by the time she's born." I snorted.
"Hardly. I bet she will weigh no more than six or seven pounds." Melody smirked.
"Care to make a wager on that?"
"Oh, so now we are betting on how much she weighs? Well, we all know who was right about the gender." I smirked back.
"Yeah, yeah." She waved me off. "I bet you fifty bucks she weighs eight pounds and let's see....seven ounces."
"Uh-huh. Well, I wager she weighs six pounds and um....nine ounces."
"You are on, Mr. Iero." She grinned, extending her hand for me to shake. I smiled, taking her hand in mine, shaking it. "You want in on this, Mikey?"
"Oh no, not this time. I already lost fifty bucks."
"Wimp." Melody smirked. Mikey narrowed his eyes at her.
"Fine. How much does she weigh now?"
"Dr. Carter says she weighs about two and a half pounds now but she'll start to gain weight rapidly in the last couple of months." Mikey looked lost in thought for a moment before nodding.
"Hmm. I'm going to say she will weigh seven pounds and eight ounces."
"You're on." I grinned.
"Frankie, did you ever get that baby name book you promised to get?" I frowned.
"No. We can pick one up on the way to New York tomorrow, if you want to." She nodded.
"What time are we leaving?"
"It only takes about thirty or so minutes to get there but Pete wants us to meet him for lunch so around eleven in the morning, I guess. He also invited us to sit in on sound check and he wants to introduce you to the rest of the band."
"Wow. Really?"
"Yeah. Pete's a good guy. He can be a little hyper and crazy sometimes but he's great."
"You mean like you?" Mikey smirked. I rolled my eyes.
"I am not that bad." Melody giggled.
"I don't know. I think you might be crazier." She grinned.
"Oh, you have no idea how crazy Pete is."
"Well, I guess I will find out tomorrow, won't I?"
"Oh yeah, you will." I smirked. "So, what did you want to eat?" She shrugged.
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you want to make is fine with me."
"Mikey, you heard her." He snorted, quirking an eyebrow at me.
"Why can't you cook?"
"Cause you are better at it."
"This is true. Fine. What do you guys want?"
"Pancakes!" Melody exclaimed. Mikey and I shared a laugh.
"It's one in the afternoon, Mel."
"Yeah, but I love your pancakes." She pouted, batting her eyelashes at him.
"Awe. Come on, don't make that face at me. Fine, fine, I'll make you pancakes." She grinned.
"Thanks, Mikey."
"Come on, Mel. Let's leave Chef Mikey to his kitchen. We'll find something for us all to watch once the food is ready."
Melody nodded, following me into the living room. As I searched through our DVD collection she plopped down on the couch, making herself comfortable.
"Do you feel like a comedy or a good horror movie, Mel?"
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you want to watch is fine with me."
I gave the DVD shelf another glance before plucking one from the shelf and popping it into the player. The menu for The Exorcist appeared and Melody let out a whine.
"Frankie, this movie scares the shit out of me."
"Don't worry, I'll protect you." I winked as I sat beside her and slid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.
"You suck."
"You still love me, though." I grinned cheekily. She sighed.
"Yeah." I frowned.
"Mel, don't. Let's just enjoy the rest of this day. We can talk about it more later, okay?" She nodded.
Before I could say anything else Mikey strolled into the room with a tray full of food and set it down in front us.
"Thank you, Mikey. It looks delicious."
"Yeah, thanks, Mikey." Melody murmured, quietly.
"It's no problem. Eat up." He grinned as he took his own plate and made his way to the other couch. "The Exorcist? Hell yeah, I love this movie." Melody groaned.
"You guys seriously suck." Mikey and I only laughed as I started the movie.
Melody inched as close to my side as she could, hiding her face in my shoulder at any and all scary scene. Once we had finished our meal I set our plates aside and lay across the couch, opening my legs so Melody could lay down comfortably in between them. She snuggled against my chest and I draped a blanket over us which she used to hide her face. It was quite amusing how scared she got over a movie that really wasn't all that scary. Creepy, yes but not scary.
The rest of the evening was spent watching movies and relaxing. I didn't have the heart to make her finish her Calculus study guide even though I know I should. She already had enough stress weighing her down and the last thing I wanted was for her to possibly lose our child, or well, another child.
A pang of guilt stabbed my stomach and a wave of sadness washed over me as my thoughts drifted to the baby we had lost. I still feel horrible for hiding that fact from Melody but I can't bring myself to tell her. Not now. Maybe one day, but not yet.
As the afternoon gave way to evening and then eventually night I noticed how easily tired Melody seemed to be getting. Normally, she would stay up fairly late but here it is only nine at night and she's passed out against my chest. I couldn't bring myself to wake her, instead I scooped her into my arms and carried her into our room. Even being nearly seven months pregnant she was light. I pulled the comforter back and lay her down then stripped my shirt off, leaving me in only my boxers before laying down beside her. I pulled her against my chest, wrapping my arms around her middle and traced soothing circles over the stretched skin. She hummed happily as I buried my face in her neck and planted a kiss to the sensitive flesh.
"Goodnight, Melody."
"Night, Frankie."
I smiled as I felt her breathing begin to even until she had drifted into a peaceful slumber. Perhaps Mikey was right. Maybe Melody is worth the risk. Maybe I should let her in. She deserves to be loved and I know I can give her that. I know I can love her and our daughter unconditionally. We can still be happy. We can move on, forgive and forget.
"I love you, Melody." I smiled, whispering to her sleeping form.
Though she didn't hear me I knew it was a step in the right direction. It was me opening up, letting her in.
xo britt
I won't lie, waking up with Melody in my arms, my hand splayed across her stomach where our daughter slept, made me smile. I can't help myself. After everything I still want her. I want to hold her, kiss her, keep her and my daughter safe. Even after the situation with Gerard I want to know her, feel her, show her I can give her the love and affection she wants and deserves. If anything my urges are stronger, more prominent than before. Yet, just as badly as I want those things there is another part of me that fears just that.
I can't help but picture Gerard and Melody together every time I look at her. Every time I see her beautiful, sparkling blue eyes or feel her feathery soft skin beneath my fingertips I wonder if Gerard saw the same, felt the same. Did he stop to even pay attention to what she wanted? Did he consider what she needed? Or was it all about him? Was it all just a good fuck to him? Did it even bother him that my child is growing inside of her? Did she stop to consider our daughter as he fucked her?
I sighed, nestling my nose in the crook of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent as I pulled her body closer to mine. She hummed happily in her sleep but did not wake when I placed a light kiss to the side of her neck. I want more than anything for her to be mine. I want the two of us to raise our daughter together, to get our own home somewhere calm and pleasant. More than anything I want to see Melody and our daughter happy. I would do anything to bring them joy.
As strange as it may seem to some people, I can picture myself marrying this girl. The image of us buying our first home together, of raising our daughter together, of growing old together, of one day having more children and grandchildren is so vivid in my mind as if it has already happened. I want all of those things but I don't know if I can have them. I want to look past what Melody and Gerard have done because I know I am partially responsible but I can't shake the image of them together from my mind.
"Frankie?" Melody murmured, successfully tearing me from my thoughts.
"Hmm?" She rolled over, facing me.
"I'm sorry." I looked down on her frowning face, my brow furrowed in confusion.
"For what?"
"Everything."
"Mel, don't-"
"No, Frankie, let me finish." I frowned but nodded. "Frank, did you really mean what you said?"
"What?"
"When you said you changed for me, did you mean it?" I sighed.
"Yeah, I did."
"Then I think there is something you should know. Frank, I love you, not just as the father of my child or as a friend, I honestly love you. I don't expect you to reciprocate these feelings but I think you deserve to know. I don't know when or how it happened, honestly, but I can feel it every time we touch, every time I hear your voice. You make me smile, you make me laugh, you take care of and protect me and our baby and I want you to know how much I truly appreciate everything you do for us. Honestly, Frankie, I think it was always you. Looking back now, it should have always been you. I know you think I am young and you probably think I don't even know what love is but I can assure you that I do and it is. I know I have hurt you, Frankie, and for that I am sorry. I will always regret the mistakes I have made but I will never regret meeting you. I know you worry constantly about the fact once this baby is born there is no chance of me being a kid again but that's not what I want. I don't want to be a kid anymore. I want to be the best mother I can be to our daughter. I want to protect her from this ugly world, from making the same mistakes we have. I want you to stop worrying about me so much. I know you think I am fragile but I'm stronger than you give me credit for. Stop worrying about my innocence. You may have taken my virginity but I was far from innocent, Frankie." She paused, inhaling a deep but shaky breath. I squeezed her tighter, pressing our bodies closer. I could feel the thump thump thump of her heartbeat, closely resembling my own at this point. "Frankie, don't give up on me. I know I have made some horrible mistakes but if you care, even just a tiny bit, you will be able to one day forgive me. I am not asking for your forgiveness now because I know it is going to take time but please, Frankie, please never leave or give up on me."
My heart ached painfully in my chest and I squeezed my eyes closed to stop the few stray tears that threatened to fall as I held her tighter, pressing a kiss to her forehead. I wanted so badly to tell her I loved her, to kiss her and hold her, to make love to her but I couldn't bring myself to utter those words.
"I will never leave you or give up on you, Melody. Never."
"Thank you, Frankie, that means a lot to me. Just one more thing, okay? Don't alienate Gerard. He is one of your best friends. He is like a brother to you, Frank. I know he messed up, too but he loves you and you love him. I am not asking you to forgive him right now either but please think about it. I know you and I know the last thing you ever want is to be mad at him or hurt him in anyway. And, Frankie, you love your music. You love getting up on that stage and playing your heart out. You love the screaming fans and signing autographs. Do not give that up over this. Do not let yourself drift away from Gerard. He has been there for you when you made mistakes in the past. He has picked you up and helped you put the pieces back together again just as you have for him. Please do not let this ruin that, Frankie. I couldn't live with myself if you guys let this tear you apart."
I bit my lip, contemplating her words. She's right, I do love my music and the fans. I could never picture myself doing anything other than playing music with my best friends, my brothers. Even after what Melody and Gerard did I know, deep down in my heart, I still love them both. I could never picture my life without either of them in it.
"I won't, Mel. Regardless of what mistakes Gerard has made I still love him. I always have and I always will. That is never going to change. I promise." She nodded.
"Good."
"Mel, I want you to know that I do love you. I love you as a friend and as the mother of my child but also as a lover. My feelings for you run so much deeper than you will ever know and I wish, more than anything, I could show you that but I need time. Please try to understand." She sniffled, her sad eyes piercing mine as she nodded.
"I understand, Frankie." She murmured sadly, her voice shaking. I sighed.
"I'm sorry."
We lay there a while longer, her in my arms as she gripped me tightly, silent tears staining her cheeks. I traced familiar patterns across her abdomen, enjoying the feeling of my daughter's movements. It wasn't until I heard her soft snores did I realize she had fallen back into sleep. I didn't have the heart to wake her, instead I slipped from her grasp and slid from the bed quietly, making my way out of the room and into the kitchen where I found Mikey sipping on his usual morning coffee. I prepared myself a mug of the hot liquid before taking a seat across from Mikey.
"Morning, Mikes."
"You're an idiot."
"I...what?" I asked, confusion clouding my face.
"You heard me. You are an idiot, Frankie." I chuckled.
"And why is that?"
"That girl fucking loves you. She just poured her fucking heart out to you and all you can say is 'I'm sorry'? Frank, I know she fucked up but give her a break. You act like you haven't made mistakes. You and I both know that you have made more mistakes than she will ever make in her entire life. I know I can't say much in that department because I have made more than my fair share of mistakes but Frank, if you don't man up and claim her then someone else will. She will not wait forever, Frankie. She needs, no she deserves love and attention. She is so special, Frankie, and she deserves the best of everything. I know you can give her that if you will just open up to her, let her in. Don't be an idiot, Frank."
"I....I know, Mikey. I'm just scared. I don't want to get hurt and if I let her in, give her my heart I am opening up a door I cannot close. I know she deserves the best and I want to give her that but what if she hurts me, Mikey? What if I open my heart to her and she shatters it? I don't think I can handle that." He sighed, allowing his face to soften.
"Frankie, that is a risk you have to be willing to take. Don't you think she has the same fears? Don't you think she worries about what will happen when we go on tour again? Whether or not you will return to the old Frank? There is always the chance you will get hurt when dealing with love but you have to ask yourself one thing. Is it worth it? Is she worth the risk?" I gnawed at the inside of my cheek, chewing Mikey's questions over in my mind. Finally, I sighed, nodding weakly.
"Yeah, Mikey, she is. She's worth everything but I will never be the old Frank again. I will never be that stupid, irresponsible kid again. I can't be, Mikey, I have a family to care for now, a family that is going to rely on me to love and protect them."
"Then push your fears aside and go for it, Frankie. Do not let your fear control you because if you do you will lose her." I nodded.
"Thanks, Mikey. I think I needed to hear that." He smirked.
"I know. That's why I told you." I chuckled.
"Smartass." I muttered.
"Yeah, well, someone had to set you straight." He smiled, winking at me. "Oh, by the way, Pete called."
"Yeah? What did he want?"
"He just wanted to make sure you and Melody will be there tomorrow night and he said he changed your hotel room."
"He did what? Why?"
"He said Melody deserved a suite and he can't believe you didn't reserve one in the first place."
"Of course he did." I chuckled. "Well, we both know there is no sense in arguing with that stubborn fucker." Mikey laughed.
"Arguing with Pete Wentz is like arguing with a fucking brick wall."
"No, fuck that. I would rather argue with the brick wall."
"Why would you want to argue with a brick wall, Frankie?" Melody questioned sleepily as she wandered into the kitchen. I laughed as did Mikey.
"We were just talking about Pete. If you didn't already know he is a stubborn little fucker and I would rather argue with a brick wall than with him."
"Oh. Yeah, he does seem like the stubborn type." She muttered, yawning. I pat the seat next to me and she sat.
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah. You know I am always hungry." She shot me a lopsided grin. I chuckled.
"Yeah, I know. Eating for two and all, right?"
"Yep. I think she eats more than I do, though. She's gonna weigh like a gazillion pounds by the time she's born." I snorted.
"Hardly. I bet she will weigh no more than six or seven pounds." Melody smirked.
"Care to make a wager on that?"
"Oh, so now we are betting on how much she weighs? Well, we all know who was right about the gender." I smirked back.
"Yeah, yeah." She waved me off. "I bet you fifty bucks she weighs eight pounds and let's see....seven ounces."
"Uh-huh. Well, I wager she weighs six pounds and um....nine ounces."
"You are on, Mr. Iero." She grinned, extending her hand for me to shake. I smiled, taking her hand in mine, shaking it. "You want in on this, Mikey?"
"Oh no, not this time. I already lost fifty bucks."
"Wimp." Melody smirked. Mikey narrowed his eyes at her.
"Fine. How much does she weigh now?"
"Dr. Carter says she weighs about two and a half pounds now but she'll start to gain weight rapidly in the last couple of months." Mikey looked lost in thought for a moment before nodding.
"Hmm. I'm going to say she will weigh seven pounds and eight ounces."
"You're on." I grinned.
"Frankie, did you ever get that baby name book you promised to get?" I frowned.
"No. We can pick one up on the way to New York tomorrow, if you want to." She nodded.
"What time are we leaving?"
"It only takes about thirty or so minutes to get there but Pete wants us to meet him for lunch so around eleven in the morning, I guess. He also invited us to sit in on sound check and he wants to introduce you to the rest of the band."
"Wow. Really?"
"Yeah. Pete's a good guy. He can be a little hyper and crazy sometimes but he's great."
"You mean like you?" Mikey smirked. I rolled my eyes.
"I am not that bad." Melody giggled.
"I don't know. I think you might be crazier." She grinned.
"Oh, you have no idea how crazy Pete is."
"Well, I guess I will find out tomorrow, won't I?"
"Oh yeah, you will." I smirked. "So, what did you want to eat?" She shrugged.
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you want to make is fine with me."
"Mikey, you heard her." He snorted, quirking an eyebrow at me.
"Why can't you cook?"
"Cause you are better at it."
"This is true. Fine. What do you guys want?"
"Pancakes!" Melody exclaimed. Mikey and I shared a laugh.
"It's one in the afternoon, Mel."
"Yeah, but I love your pancakes." She pouted, batting her eyelashes at him.
"Awe. Come on, don't make that face at me. Fine, fine, I'll make you pancakes." She grinned.
"Thanks, Mikey."
"Come on, Mel. Let's leave Chef Mikey to his kitchen. We'll find something for us all to watch once the food is ready."
Melody nodded, following me into the living room. As I searched through our DVD collection she plopped down on the couch, making herself comfortable.
"Do you feel like a comedy or a good horror movie, Mel?"
"It doesn't matter. Whatever you want to watch is fine with me."
I gave the DVD shelf another glance before plucking one from the shelf and popping it into the player. The menu for The Exorcist appeared and Melody let out a whine.
"Frankie, this movie scares the shit out of me."
"Don't worry, I'll protect you." I winked as I sat beside her and slid an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.
"You suck."
"You still love me, though." I grinned cheekily. She sighed.
"Yeah." I frowned.
"Mel, don't. Let's just enjoy the rest of this day. We can talk about it more later, okay?" She nodded.
Before I could say anything else Mikey strolled into the room with a tray full of food and set it down in front us.
"Thank you, Mikey. It looks delicious."
"Yeah, thanks, Mikey." Melody murmured, quietly.
"It's no problem. Eat up." He grinned as he took his own plate and made his way to the other couch. "The Exorcist? Hell yeah, I love this movie." Melody groaned.
"You guys seriously suck." Mikey and I only laughed as I started the movie.
Melody inched as close to my side as she could, hiding her face in my shoulder at any and all scary scene. Once we had finished our meal I set our plates aside and lay across the couch, opening my legs so Melody could lay down comfortably in between them. She snuggled against my chest and I draped a blanket over us which she used to hide her face. It was quite amusing how scared she got over a movie that really wasn't all that scary. Creepy, yes but not scary.
The rest of the evening was spent watching movies and relaxing. I didn't have the heart to make her finish her Calculus study guide even though I know I should. She already had enough stress weighing her down and the last thing I wanted was for her to possibly lose our child, or well, another child.
A pang of guilt stabbed my stomach and a wave of sadness washed over me as my thoughts drifted to the baby we had lost. I still feel horrible for hiding that fact from Melody but I can't bring myself to tell her. Not now. Maybe one day, but not yet.
As the afternoon gave way to evening and then eventually night I noticed how easily tired Melody seemed to be getting. Normally, she would stay up fairly late but here it is only nine at night and she's passed out against my chest. I couldn't bring myself to wake her, instead I scooped her into my arms and carried her into our room. Even being nearly seven months pregnant she was light. I pulled the comforter back and lay her down then stripped my shirt off, leaving me in only my boxers before laying down beside her. I pulled her against my chest, wrapping my arms around her middle and traced soothing circles over the stretched skin. She hummed happily as I buried my face in her neck and planted a kiss to the sensitive flesh.
"Goodnight, Melody."
"Night, Frankie."
I smiled as I felt her breathing begin to even until she had drifted into a peaceful slumber. Perhaps Mikey was right. Maybe Melody is worth the risk. Maybe I should let her in. She deserves to be loved and I know I can give her that. I know I can love her and our daughter unconditionally. We can still be happy. We can move on, forgive and forget.
"I love you, Melody." I smiled, whispering to her sleeping form.
Though she didn't hear me I knew it was a step in the right direction. It was me opening up, letting her in.
xo britt
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