FicWad

It had been do quiet and painless, so different to what I’d become expect. I expect people to be screaming. I expected to hear a screech. But nothing, just silence as I stared in to the fast approaching lights. I had wanted to move. Of course I had, but I seemed to freeze. It was like my limbs had frozen as I watched the lights get brighter…

Its was so strange, I became conscious, I assume a few hours later, but I did not open my eyes. There was again no sound around me. No crying, no screaming, no shouting, no nothing. I tried to think back, but all a could remember was wriggling.

When I finally did open my eyes, my breaths came in quick and fast. I was sat in the field from my childhood, grass stretching as far as the eye could see. I looked down at my self and as if a light switch had flicked on in my head or someone had whispered in my ear, I realized what had happened.

My eyes watered and my palms began to sweat as it all came back to me. My breath quickened even more so and my heart began to pound.

When it had happened, I felt like I gave some sort of wriggling, the sensation of stepping out of my skin. Not my clothes, like my actual skin. I imagined that was how it felt to be a snake when it sheds it skin.

I’ve now found out my skin is more sensitive, more aware to the breeze and the heat. My sense of smell was heightened too. I could smell the grass which was wafting around me, and I could smell the flowers and the trees. Hell, even my sense of hearing had improved greatly. I could hear the flap of a flies wings and the footstep of a spider.

There was no sense of time here. No sense of minutes or hours, sometimes hours would pass and it would feel like minutes and sometimes minutes would pass and it would feel like hours. But, there was a sense of days. I knew how many days had past, because every time a day passed on the world in used to live on, I shed a singular tear. I liked to think it was just because my eyes were watering, but I knew deep down, it was every tear my family would shed for me.

My name is Frank Iero, and four days ago I died at the age of 16.

Theres people who say “Time is too long for those who mourn, too quick for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” But is it a good eternity, or a bad one, what if everyone you ever love died? What if everyday, you gut turns because you look at the door waiting for a husband or a son or a daughter or a brother or a sister or a mum or a dad to walk in, only to remember they’re never coming home?

It’s a strange thing, you know? Dying. It was so unexpected. Then coming to this… this purgatory, just waiting in a large, empty field. Most of the time, it was just me and my thoughts, but sometimes, I’d get snippets of people, my family, my friends talking about me on earth. “Such a good boy…” “Greatly missed.” “Why him?” “I could of saved him” “Theres nothing you could of done.” “Frank Iero, took too soon” “I’m sorry for your loss Linda.” and so on.

It was on the fifth day of being here, after a fifth tear was shed, I heard a voice call out to me “Frank! Finally! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” I turned to the source of the voice, to see a man, maybe about 18 or 19. I raised my eyebrow suspiciously as he stopped in front of me. Who was this guy? This was my place, I just wanted to wallow in my self pity alone.

“Um, who are you?” I said sceptically. The man just laughed at my suspicious reaction to him.

“I’m Gerard Way, your guide.” I snorted at him, still sceptical. My hair fell into my eyes as I put my head down.

“My guide?” I questioned.
“Yep. Your guide. You know, the big guy says a guide and his or her guidee have a special relationship.” I snorted loudly.

“The big guy?” He pointedly ignored me.

“Have you got any questions Frank?” I froze then. I was dead, what was going to happen to me? Who was the big guy? In a instant my sceptic attitude was clearing and a question came to my mind.

“Are you an angel?” Gerard laughed loudly.

“An angel? No, I’m just a another dead guy.” He chuckled at his own dark humour.

“If you’re just another dead guy, what makes you special enough to be a guide?” I said, my sceptiveness returning.

“I had a noble death, where as you had an too-soon-death. Well, so did I, but it was also a noble death, and noble deaths always beat too-soon-deaths. Always.” I tried to work out what he said, but it just turned to mush in my mind.

“Noble death? Too-soon-death? Care to explain?” I asked, again, Gerard laughed.

“There are three different types of deaths, A noble death, when you sacrafice your life to save someone elses, when you get here, you‘re taken to the big guy and he makes you a guide. Then, there’s a too-soon-death, when your life is taken from you by murder, an illness, an accident, you get here, and the big guy assigns you a guide, and when your guide thinks your ready, you are assigned a new life. Then, there is a natural death, when you slip away naturally, because of old age.”

“Assigned a new life? Is that with all of them?”

“No, natural deaths stay here in there own version of paradise. Noble deaths may choose if and when they are assigned a new life. Too-soon-deaths are supervised until there guide believes they a stable for a new life, as if they get put in too soon, like too many do, it ends up affecting them badly and suicides take place.” I nodded as another question came in to my head.

“And what made your death so noble?” I said, watching Gerard stifle a sad sigh.

“I was 18, my brother, Mikey, was 16, a mugger jumped on him, I pulled him off, he went to shoot at Mikey, I took the bullet. That was six years ago.” I saw a flicker of longing and sadness go through his eyes.

“Do you want to know about my death?” I asked. Gerards sadness disappeared instantly.

“I know everything about you Frank. I know you died because you went to cross the road and a car came zooming round the corner. I know you died instantly. I know your last name’s Iero. I know everything?” he smiled.

“How?”

“The big guy told me.” I frowned deeply. He’s metioned “The big guy” several times.

“Who’s the big guy? God?” Gerards laugh boomed loudly.

“Hell no!” he laughed. “There is no God.” He calmed down. “The big guy is the first man to ever die.” I nodded slowly. Okay, I was feeling better then I had in days. Things were making more sense to me. “Any more questions Frankie?”

“Just one…” I hesitated.

“Shoot.”

“Whats it like here?” Gerard seem to freeze and for a few minutes, he looked in the ever on going distance, as if a deep in thought and finally said:

“Its… Unusual. Its got its good part and its got its bad parts.”

“And the good and bad parts are?” Gerard raised an eyebrow, but ignored the fact it was another question.

“The good stuff, when you get to the big guy, you meet amazing people, you have so much fun and you can watch over your family. Bad stuff, you can watch over your family. Do you know how hard it is, watching your little brother weep over your grave, and not being able to comfort him? Do you know what its like to watch your family fall apart at the seams? Do you know how much it hurts watching your family slowly forget you and stop mourning you? Do you know what it feels like to watch your little brother grow up and know you can’t join him on the journey? It sucks Frank. It destroys you. And it gets to the point where you can’t watch anymore.” Gerard finished of by disguising a small sob a cough.

“I’m sorry…” The realization hit me that my family were properly in so much pain right now.


“Its fine, it hard though. I miss my brother so much, sometimes I feel like getting a new life, but I don’t want to forget him. I want to wait here for him, I plan to wait here for him, so we can then live in our version of paradise and then we won’t be separated again.” Gerard wiped a tear roughly from his eye. “I’m sorry Frank. The questions have to stop there for now. Come with me, and I’ll teach you all about this place.” It was at that moment Gerard looking into my eyes for the first time, and my heart exploded. Everything changed and my breath was knocked from me. His eyes glistened brightly and I gasped, he was beautiful and now, I was very much attracted to him.