FicWad

Gerard sat resting his chin on his knee's, feeling the cold breath of the wind on his bare arms he had wrapped around himself in a futile attempt to protect himself . But even that brought little comfort. It had hit him like a ton of bricks, not that anyone cared anyway, none of the screaming masses of fans not even his own brother. He couldn't produce any more tears, it seemed impossible at this point despite the overwhelming emotional turmoil he felt.

All it took was a simple phone call. The one that tore his life apart.


Flashback

''Hey baby, you coming to see the show?'' Gerard piped excitedly into the phone. He had missed his wife these past few month's while on tour. Missed her voice, her laugh, her smile, everything about her. But lately she seemed so distant with him. Gerard put it down to stress with her artwork, looking after Bandit, and having to hold up the house all on her own. Sometimes he wished it was different, that he could spend more time with his family, yet he wouldn't trade this band for the world. My Chemical Romance was there to save lives and nothing would ever change that.

''Gerard I have something to tell you ...'' Lynz's voice sounded uncertain and to Gerard like she had been crying.

''Baby whats wrong?''

''Don't called me that!'' She half sobbed down the phone.

''Lyn?'' He tried, now worried.

''Gerard...I'm so so sorry'' She spoke as if trying to hold back more tears. '' Gee, I've been cheating on you and... i love him.''

The line was silent for a painfully long time before Lynz could continue.

''I love you too Gerard, so much...but its been going on for far too long. I j-just can't stop y'know And it's unfair if i keep lying to you like this. Bandit belongs to him, please i didn't mean to hurt you but it's best if i-i''

Her voice broke into pitiful cries. She couldn't do it, he was such a kind, loving husband who took such good care of her and she betrayed him.

Gerard remained in a shocked silence. His brain couldn't process what was happening. It just wasn't true!

''Gee..I love you...Goodbye.''

The phone disconnected with a click.

She was gone, taking a piece of him with her.
He sat on the nearest bunk, in a daze. He was numb. A million question whirring through his head. He must have sat there for at least a few hours just staring at the blank wall in front of him, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. The guys would be out getting ready for the show, they were playing at a festival somewhere in Europe. Not that any of that mattered at the moment to broken shell of a man once known as Gerard Way. But somewhere at the back his scrambled mind be was vaguely aware that the time for soundcheck was pretty close and he still had yet to get ready.

He didn't hear the tour bus door open, nor his brother walk into the 'living area' of the vehicle. Mikey must of seen Gerard out of the corner of his eye, not dressed in stage clothes, just blankly staring into space.

''GERARD WHAT THE FUCK, I THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH PEDICONE, SOUNDCHECK IS IN 5 MINUTES'' The younger Way shouted exasperated. Even after almost a decade of countless show's the bassist still got stressed before showtime and the fact Ray had accidentally trashed his bass earlier didn't help, he didn't even seem to notice the state his brother was in.

''M-Mikes i just..'' Gerard tried to explain what had just occurred and how he himself was in no condition to play, but Mikey cut him off.

''Fuck Gee i don't wanna hear it. I don't know why your purposely trying to sabotage our show or whatever but do it on your own time!'' With that he stormed out the bus. Leaving Gerard standing in the door way to the bunk room, as tears silently cascaded down his cheeks and his features contorted into a expression of pure emotional agony. No way he way able to sing now, or even finish the tour. It was just too hard. So he wept. Wept for all he had just lost in the space of less than 24 hours. His wife, his daughter and now his brother, and no doubt his friends if he didn't turn up to soundcheck. So he did what every coward does. Gerard ran.

Flashback end


So here he sat,among the rushes and long grass probably miles away from where he was supposed to be at this moment. He was where he considered he belonged; as low as dirt. He slowly rocked back and forth trying to find some sense of reality from the continuous motion. He was broken. His jean had huge tear's in them from running into the scarcely wooded area, his pale arms getting cut on tree and brambles as he went. Not that he cared...he was numb. The ground was ice cold and he was unknowingly shivering. Gerard looked up to realize it was getting dark. The looming black cloud's cast eerie shadow's along the beaten path. Gerard chuckled lightly. Had they even noticed his absence? Checking his phone he realized he had been gone almost 5 hours assuming the phone call had indeed been at 4-ish. It also came to his attention that he had 56 missed calls and 114 new messages. But he didn't dare look.

He was once again left in silence, his once shuddering breath's had turned to hushed cries barley making a sound.

CRACK!

The sound of a branch breaking echoed through the wilderness, the harsh winter air making it twice as loud. Gerard's head snapped upward, startled by the sudden noise. But before he could take in the sight he was met with the singer was pulled into a fierce hug by warm familiar arms. He curled up into the hug and clung to the shorter man's shirt with all his might. He was unaware of who it was at this moment but he didn't care, he just needed someone right now.

''Oh my god Gee we were so worried'' Frank's voice was thick with tears as his arms held tighter around his shaking friend. ''Never do that to us again promise me please Gerard, Mikey had a fucking panic attack when we couldn't find you and you weren't picking up the phone'' He babbled helplessly Stopping mid-sentence upon taking in Gerard's appearance. Frank had been so ecstatic to find his best friend he had overlooked some obvious details . Gerard's eyes were puffy and bloodshot, and his clothes torn exposing his pure white skin. In short, he was a mess. His tear stained cheeks and glistening eyes gave away that he was as bad on the inside as he was on the outside.

''Please don't be mad'' Gerard whispered finally after a long period of silence. How could Frank be mad? he wondered. Gerard sounded like a frightened child, so vulnerable and scared. Frank shook off his jacket and draped it around Gerard, with the realization he was shivering and it was really getting quite cold now.

''No one's mad, i promise Gee, just worried about you.'' His voice was filled with concern and a hint of anxiety, he was scared to ask Gee what had happen... in fear it may break him.

''W-Wh I-I'' Gerard couldn't fight back tears any more as he erupted into heavy sob's. Frank settled on rocking him to his chest for a minute or two but as the wind continued to howl around them he reckoned he should get Gerard into a safer environment.

''Gee, i'm gonna carry you back, that okay?'' Frank asked tentatively. From the looks of the gashes on Gerard's legs and his overall instability, walking present as a challenge for the quivering vocalist.

Gerard nodded wearily, as his tears began to cease and his death grip on Frank weaken, allowing the young guitarist pick him up bridal style, letting his head loll back in his comforting arms. On the long trek back to the bus, Frank noted Gerard had gone almost limp in his clutches. He could only imagine what could have happened for Gerard to break down like this, heck they had had to cancel a gig it just had to be awful, Gerard never liked to let down the kids.

The tour bus stood alone on the grassy parking lot. It had been the last day of this particular festival and they were the only band left, everyone else was packing up and disassembling the stages, too faraway to acknowledge or help the pair.

Frank banged in the bus door with his fist. Frank was short but stronger than he looked, he somehow managed to keep a still trembling Gerard up with one hand.

''RAY!, Lemme in! I found Gee''

The door was opened in a instant by a stressed out Ray and Gerard was quickly transported from the warmth of Franks arms to the brown leather recliner on the tour bus. He whimpered slightly at the sudden change of temperature.

''Fuck Gerard what happened.'' Ray questioned, pushing the hair out of his friends face. Gerard just shook his head, still unable to talk about the events that led up to his break down. Ray sighed.

''Frankie call Mikes, tell him we found him. Pedicone grab the first aid kit from under the sink'' The guitarist grimaced as he looked down at the dry blood stains coating Gerard's once navy jeans. ''We gotta clean you up'' He said quietly.

As soon as the drummer passed the first aid kit to Ray he got to work bandaging Gerard's injured legs, surprised at how deep some of the wounds were and how Gerard barley flinched when the gauze made contact with his skin. He wouldn't even make eye contact.

Before long Mikey burst through the door making everyone close jerk their heads in his direction. He was out of breath from frantic searching, but still sprinted over to his older brothers side.

''Gee, please i'm sorry for shouting, i was just stressed and then we couldn't find you and i knew something was up, i'm sorry i didn't listen'' Mikey gasped for breath, his eyes brimming with tears before embracing Gerard who had subsequently began crying again upon Mikey's arrival.

''I-I'm s-sorree M-Mikey i r-ran off a-and w-e cancelled-d, i j-just c-couldn't d-deal with it'' Gerard choked out returning Mikey's hug as best he could.

''Do you want to talk about what happened?'' Mikey asked cautiously in a soothing voice. He was aware of how fragile his brother was at this minute like a delicate piece of glass, a delicate piece of glass with a huge crack running down the middle.

Gerard shook his head violently from side to side. He wasn't ready yet. In fact he was exhausted. He could feel his eyes drooping shut, Frank must of seen as well because at that moment he spoke up.

''Okay time to hit the hay i think, we can talk bout this tomorrow yeah?''

Mikey reluctantly nodded, obviously hoping to get more information from Gerard tonight. He helped Gerard to his bunk, letting him fall into a uneasy slumber. Gerard's last thoughts before slipping into sleeps grasp, were the same word's that had plagued his mind ever since his world had fallen apart only hours earlier. Gee..I love you...Goodbye


Gerard woke up in the darkness of his bunk. Familiar voices evading his subconscious from the next room. Through his hazy vision he saw it was only 1:46 am, according to the digital clock's neon red numbers.

''We shouldn't continue this tour if he's in no condition to sing, he's a wreck'' That was no doubt Franks voice, always had Gerard's best interest at heart, defending him at any cost.

''Frank, i know my brother. He's not gonna let us cancel the tour, our fans mean the world to him'' Mikey countered, frustrated.

''His mental health is a little more important than a few show's Mikey''

''Look we don't even know what happened yet, why are we jumping to conclusion's'' Ray raised his voice, clearly trying to keep the peace between the two arguing band members. Gerard continued to listen intently, wrapped under mounds of blankets that covered his body.

''Whatever happened, made him run and hide before we got up on stage, this is obviously something that really messing him up'' Frank shouted unable to hide the anger in his voice.

''Shut the hell up Frank your gonna wake him, he's fucking exhausted''

''Oh please, like you care. You were practically interrogating him earlier, as soon as you got back, you couldn't wait to ask all your questions'' Frank said coldly.

''FUCK YOU IERO'' Gerard heard Mikey storm over to the other side of the bus and slam a door, he then heard a lot of hushed whispering, only making out a few words. One phrase inparticular he heard loud and clear: 'Call Lynz'.

''No..no...no'' he began to murmur under his breath quietly only loud enough for him to hear. Just the shear mention of her name was enough to push Gerard over the edge. The thought of her with another man, broke his heart all over again.

Gerard heard the creaking foot steps of someone enter the room and make their way over to his bunk, he felt the mattress dip as someone lightly sat on the edge of the bed.

''Gee, you okay? You were crying'' It was Frank. Gerard only now realized that his cheeks were damp with tears. He sighed curled up deeper into the covers only to be pulled out his friends firm grasp on his wrists.

''Why were you crying Gee??'' Frank asked sadly, his hazel eyes filled with pity and concern.

''Because i made you and Mikey fight, because i let down our kids by canceling the show, because my problems are getting in the way of the band again and I can't even keep my family happy anymore.'' Gerard wailed before letting the tears fall again, it was hard to tell when he started crying again since he'd been doing it so often.

''Gerard.'' Frank still held his wrists firmly. ''please'' Frank didn't need to use a lot of words for Gerard to know what he was talking about. He needed to know what was going on.

Gerard inhaled sharply ''Lynz's been cheating on me, Bandit's not even my daughter'' Gerard looked down, ashamed. '' She chose him over me''

There was a awkward silence for a minute or so.

''Fuck Gee, i'm so sorry'' Frank broke the silence looking at him wide eyed, as if he now fully understood Gerard's actions.

''i'm sorry Frankie i really am, i just wasn't thinking straight and then Mikey shouted at me and it was-''

''Hey'' Frank cut him off. ''Stop apologizing, this is her fault not yours'' Gerard weakly nodded, still unconvinced.

''And hey, i can help you if you ever have trouble 'thinking straight' again'' Frank continued, smirking but before Gerard could ask him what he meant, his mouth crashed into Frank's in a tender kiss. This surprised Gerard but he let himself meld into Franks soft lips. They finally broke away and stared into each others eyes, getting lost in each others dark pools.

''That help you think straight?'' Frank giggled.

''Yeah definitely'' Gerard said, before cracking a smile. The first of many to come.



FUELED BY BOREDOM! And lack of sleep, i just had to write. R&R :)


BTW- the title's from Disenchanted (just in case you were wondering)