Categories > TV > Life On Mars
"I just want to go home, Nelson." Moaned Sam, one afternoon, while propped up at the bar in the Railway Arms.
"Here," said Nelson. "Put down your drink and follow me. I've got something to show you."
Nelson led Sam round the back of the pub, and up to a vehicle underneath a tarpaulin, that he had parked in the yard.
"Look at this, Sam." He said as he pulled off the tarpaulin to reveal a beautiful silver Ford Cortina.
"Wow, Nelson, that's a lovely car."
"Thanks, but it's more that a car - look!"
Nelson pointed to the front dashboard, and attached there was a box with a flashing digital display. It looked very much like an eighties alarm clock.
"What's that?" asked Sam.
"That my friend," he said as he slapped the roof of the car, "is what powers this here time machine!"
"You mean to say, Nelson, that this, this is a time machine?"
"Yep, I've got a sliver machine. It flies sideways through time. Do you want a ride?"
"Nelson, how come you've got a time machine?"
"Come off it Sam, you didn't think I was from 1973 did you?"
"What? Where are you really from then?"
"2039. I'm really a mad inventor and I was watching this old film from the 20th Century one night on telly, and it stuck me that all the science wasn't rubbish, and could actually work. See look," he said pointed to the back of the car, "it's got a flux capacitor and everything!"
"Wait a minute, you're having me on right? It's in a Ford Cortina? How'd you manage that?"
"Originally I had it all set up in the wife's car. I wanted to go back to 1792, to see the start of the Industrial Revolution, and well I err, kinda made a mistake when keying in the date on the key pad. How was I supposed to know that in 1972 they were putting up the Arndale Centre right where I landed? It was a field in 1792! Of course I totalled the car. The wife will give us a right bollocking when I do get home."
He walked round to the front of the car and opened up the driver's door.
"Anyway, I salvaged what I could out of the wreak, and bought a new car. I figure if I'm going to go home, I might as well do it in style. I only finished it this morning"
"Does this mean you can take me home?"
"Sure, I can drop you off in 2006 on the way, no problem! Get in!"
Sam climbed in the front seat, as Nelson started up the engine. They drove for a bit until they reached the building site, that would one day be the Mancunian Way. Nelson backed up and started the engine.
"We have to get up to the right speed, so I need to give myself a good run up first." He said.
The engine ticked over, as Nelson keyed in the date on the pad.
"Right, it's the 21st of July 1973, and we want to go to 2006. That should do it."
Sam felt butterflies in his stomach. He was finally going home. Nelson released the break, and the car roared into action. It went faster, and faster, until lights started to flash on the dashboard, and then pow, they vanished. All that was left that afternoon in 1973 was a couple of trails of fire, where the wheels had once passed over the road.
Sam felt the car bounce, and then crash!, bang!, the front of the car hit a metal pole of some kind. The bonnet was a mangled beyond recognition.
"No!" shouted Nelson. "Not again!"
The sun was dimming, and it looked like it would set in a half and hour or so, as Nelson tried to fiddle with the key pad.
"Damn! It looks like this is broken! I won't be able to get the parts till at least 2025. Ah well, looks I'm stuck in 2006 now. Still it could be worse. 2006 was an interesting year. I'll get to see the wettest drought on record!"
Up till now Sam had kept quite. He was still a bit shaken up, but he was home, or at least he thought he was till he craned his neck out the window to see just what it was they hit.
He opened his door and got out. Much to his annoyance he saw the front of the car was embedded into a rather familiar billboard, which proclaimed the building of a new flyover. What made matters worse, just to the left was a rather familiar building site and all!
"Oi mate," said a passer by. "That looks pretty bad, do you need any help?"
"Umm... yeah - can you tell me what the date is?"
"21st of July."
"And the year?"
"1973 of course. You alright?"
Sam rested himself against the car, and put his head in his hands. It hadn't worked, he was still here. Why was he still here? Then it suddenly struck him.
"I'll call an ambulance." said the passer by. "There's a phone box round the corner."
"Before you go," said Sam. "What time is it?"
The man looked at his watch.
"Around ten past eight."
"Nelson?" asked Sam, lowering himself so he could talk to him from across the other side of the car. "When you keyed in 2006, did you put it in date or time?"
"Why, Sam? Haven't we moved forward in time then?"
"Umm, yes we have, by about four hours!"
"Ah well. Pub?"
"Pub!"
The End
"Here," said Nelson. "Put down your drink and follow me. I've got something to show you."
Nelson led Sam round the back of the pub, and up to a vehicle underneath a tarpaulin, that he had parked in the yard.
"Look at this, Sam." He said as he pulled off the tarpaulin to reveal a beautiful silver Ford Cortina.
"Wow, Nelson, that's a lovely car."
"Thanks, but it's more that a car - look!"
Nelson pointed to the front dashboard, and attached there was a box with a flashing digital display. It looked very much like an eighties alarm clock.
"What's that?" asked Sam.
"That my friend," he said as he slapped the roof of the car, "is what powers this here time machine!"
"You mean to say, Nelson, that this, this is a time machine?"
"Yep, I've got a sliver machine. It flies sideways through time. Do you want a ride?"
"Nelson, how come you've got a time machine?"
"Come off it Sam, you didn't think I was from 1973 did you?"
"What? Where are you really from then?"
"2039. I'm really a mad inventor and I was watching this old film from the 20th Century one night on telly, and it stuck me that all the science wasn't rubbish, and could actually work. See look," he said pointed to the back of the car, "it's got a flux capacitor and everything!"
"Wait a minute, you're having me on right? It's in a Ford Cortina? How'd you manage that?"
"Originally I had it all set up in the wife's car. I wanted to go back to 1792, to see the start of the Industrial Revolution, and well I err, kinda made a mistake when keying in the date on the key pad. How was I supposed to know that in 1972 they were putting up the Arndale Centre right where I landed? It was a field in 1792! Of course I totalled the car. The wife will give us a right bollocking when I do get home."
He walked round to the front of the car and opened up the driver's door.
"Anyway, I salvaged what I could out of the wreak, and bought a new car. I figure if I'm going to go home, I might as well do it in style. I only finished it this morning"
"Does this mean you can take me home?"
"Sure, I can drop you off in 2006 on the way, no problem! Get in!"
Sam climbed in the front seat, as Nelson started up the engine. They drove for a bit until they reached the building site, that would one day be the Mancunian Way. Nelson backed up and started the engine.
"We have to get up to the right speed, so I need to give myself a good run up first." He said.
The engine ticked over, as Nelson keyed in the date on the pad.
"Right, it's the 21st of July 1973, and we want to go to 2006. That should do it."
Sam felt butterflies in his stomach. He was finally going home. Nelson released the break, and the car roared into action. It went faster, and faster, until lights started to flash on the dashboard, and then pow, they vanished. All that was left that afternoon in 1973 was a couple of trails of fire, where the wheels had once passed over the road.
Sam felt the car bounce, and then crash!, bang!, the front of the car hit a metal pole of some kind. The bonnet was a mangled beyond recognition.
"No!" shouted Nelson. "Not again!"
The sun was dimming, and it looked like it would set in a half and hour or so, as Nelson tried to fiddle with the key pad.
"Damn! It looks like this is broken! I won't be able to get the parts till at least 2025. Ah well, looks I'm stuck in 2006 now. Still it could be worse. 2006 was an interesting year. I'll get to see the wettest drought on record!"
Up till now Sam had kept quite. He was still a bit shaken up, but he was home, or at least he thought he was till he craned his neck out the window to see just what it was they hit.
He opened his door and got out. Much to his annoyance he saw the front of the car was embedded into a rather familiar billboard, which proclaimed the building of a new flyover. What made matters worse, just to the left was a rather familiar building site and all!
"Oi mate," said a passer by. "That looks pretty bad, do you need any help?"
"Umm... yeah - can you tell me what the date is?"
"21st of July."
"And the year?"
"1973 of course. You alright?"
Sam rested himself against the car, and put his head in his hands. It hadn't worked, he was still here. Why was he still here? Then it suddenly struck him.
"I'll call an ambulance." said the passer by. "There's a phone box round the corner."
"Before you go," said Sam. "What time is it?"
The man looked at his watch.
"Around ten past eight."
"Nelson?" asked Sam, lowering himself so he could talk to him from across the other side of the car. "When you keyed in 2006, did you put it in date or time?"
"Why, Sam? Haven't we moved forward in time then?"
"Umm, yes we have, by about four hours!"
"Ah well. Pub?"
"Pub!"
The End
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