Categories > Movies > Saw > Wal Mart

Wal Mart

by Brideofbillie 1 review

What happens when John Kramer, Amanda Young, Billie the puppet and Billie's wife, Jill go to Wal Mart? Much chaos!!

Category: Saw - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2006-05-29 - Updated: 2006-05-29 - 802 words - Complete

K2K factory

Jill came running down the stairs. "John! John! John! Billie! Billie! Billie! Amanda! Amanda! Amanda!" she yelled.

"What is it Jill?" asked John?

"I found THE coolest place on the web!" said Jill. "It's called Wal-Mart!"

"Is that a market that sells things for walls?" asked Billie?

"No!" laughed Jill! "You're so silly, Billie!"

"I've heard of those Wal-Marts!" said Amanda.

"Really!? Are they cool?" asked Jill.

"Nope and they're no place for a robotic young girl!" said John sternly.

Wal- Mart

"How the hell did I ever let HER drag me to Wal-Mart?" asked John to Amanda.

"Cause you can't say no to that puppy dog face," said Amanda.

"This place kicks ass!" said Jill!

"No it doesn't," scoffed Billie.

"Yes it does!" said Jill. "Or maybe you just need to see it from my height!"

"Are you saying I'm small?" inquired Billie?

"Yes, now get offa your trike and get on my shoulders!" said Jill.

"You know I can't move! Someone has to move me!" said Billie.

"Then how do they love each other?" asked Amanda to John.

"You don't wanna know," said John.

So, Jill put Billie on her shoulders. "Does it kick ass now?" asked Jill?

"Nope," said Billie.

Jill set him on his trike. "Party pooper!" she squawked.

"Jill, what do you want to do here?" asked John?

"You'll see!" said Jill. She went into a crowd.

"Sale on aisle 12! Sale on aisle 12!" said a voice that came through the intercom.

Jill fell to the ground and began to scream. "NOT THE VOICES! THEY'RE BACK! ARRRRGH!"

Everybody got panicked! Then, an elderly lady knelt down to Jill and offered her a yellow lollipop. Jill took it and stood up. The crowd left. John took the lollipop. "Hey!" scoffed Jill! "If you want one, you get down there and scream!"

"You're not allowed to have sugar!" said John.

"Why not?" pouted Jill?

"Don't you remember last time?" asked Billie?

"Why? What happened last time?" asked Amanda?

"It was great dude!" laughed Jill.

"Amanda ain't supposed to have 5 heads!" said Billie.

"I had what!?" asked Amanda?

"Yeah, you were passed out, I was on a sugar high and I had this potion- never mind," said Jill.

"Where do I put this?" asked John. No trash can was around. He stuck the lollipop in Billie's hair.

"You just didn't put that in my hair," said Billie.

"It's a good look for you," giggled Jill.

They all walked into the video game area. There was a Xbox 360 demo. Jill began to play. She won round one. Then she went onto round two. She lost. She punched the tv, which broke. "Oh good going!" said a security guard. They all turned to see three guards.

"Don't you guys have a Krispy Kream to go and raid?" asked Jill?

"That's it!" said a guard and the chase begun. Billie wasn't being a part of it and rode out of the store.

Toy asile

Jill got a a pack of marbles. She let them loose down the aisle. She waited for the guard. The guard slipped all over the marbles and fell down. Jill ran to a different aisle.

Other side of toys
A guard took a Nerf gun and loaded it and began to fire at Amanda. "Oh shit!" she squeeked! Then as two of the Nerf balls came closer to her, she jumped back and did that whole Matrix thing. She ran down a different aisle.

Water sports area
John was far ahead of his guard. John found a slip and slide and set a trip wire so the guard would trip and slide. John was ready!

Jill got on one of those plastic tricycles and peddled down the previous aisle. "How the fuck does Billie do this?" she asked herself?

She forgot about the marbles and they got stuck in her trike and she slammed into a self. Her face fell off. The guard took one look at that and ran off. Jill got up and put her face back on.

"What the hell's his problem? Never seen a robot, I guess," said said.

Amanda grabbed a yo-yo. The guard came. "Take another step and I'll use this!" she teased.

"Wow! A yo-yo!" said the guard. He took another step.

"I'm warning you!" she warned! The guard got closer and she hit him in the balls with the yo-yo.

He fell to his knees.

Just as John planned! The guard tripped and went sliding down the slip and slide! The guard slammed into a self and got knocked out. John ran to join up with Amanda and Jill.


They found Billie outside. "Have fun?" he asked?

"Hell's yeah!" cheered Jill!

"Hell's no!" scoffed John as he crossed his arms.

"Hell's yeah!" laughed Amanda.

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