Categories > Original > Humor > Tilly Tales!!!
It was an overcast day at Kat High. Mrs. Katlin got the students attention. "Class, today we have a special visitor," she said.
"ORLANDO BLOOM!?" gasped Coco.
Mickey slammed her head against her desk. "I somehow doubt that," sneered Mickey. "Is it Joey?"
"No," said Mrs. Katlin.
"Wednesday? Shawn? Corey?" asked Mickey?
"No! No! No!" said Mrs. Katlin. "It's Kitten Elementary!"
"Oh joy!" sighed Roxy. That's the school that Tilly, her worst nightmare, attended.
"They are going to read us some stories," said Mrs. Katlin.
Mickey put her English stuff away. "Purr-fect way to spend English!"
Chris was laughing. "What's soooo damn funny?" sneered Mercy?
"Mickey said Purr-fect," laughed Chris.
"Very funny," said Killaconey confused.
"Don't you get it?" asked Chris? "She's a cat!"
"Ok...Chrissy, just stop before you make a complete fool of yourself!" said Mickey.
"Ok, let's hear the first story," said Mrs. Katlin. "Tilly Gum!"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Roxy.
"Sakura Roxy Pockey!" snapped Mrs. Katlin.
"Hi, I'm Kimberly Ann Gum's adorable wittle sister, Tilly," said Tilly.
"And Tilly, what story will you be reading us?" asked Mrs. Katlin?
"Cliff Genie, Swimming Pool, Desert Genie, and Head phones," said Tilly.
"Tilly, dear, you can only read one story," said Mrs. Bunson, Tilly's teacher.
"They're mini stories," said Tilly.
"Ok then!" said Mrs. Bunson.
~Cliff Genie.
One day Coco, Kim and Roxy were stuck on a small cliff. They needed to get back to the main land. Kim found a magic lamp and rubbed it. Out came a magical genie.
"Oh! Genie!" said Roxy. "We need your help!"
"You need to get back to the main land?" asked the Genie?
"Yes!" said Kim.
"Ok, this is what we'll do, you jump off the cliff and say what you wanna turn into to get to the other side," said the Genie.
"I'll go first!" said Roxy. She jumped from the cliff. "DRAGON!"
She turned in a dragon and flew to the other side. When she landed, she turned back.
Kim flung herself. "Hawk!" she too flew to the other side. Coco's turn was up, she jumped.
"CRAP!" she yelled. "I forgot!"
She turned into shit and fell to the ground below.
"The end of that story," said Tilly.
Coco's mouth hung open. "You killed Coco!" cheered Mercy.
"You turned me to doo doo!" cried Coco.
"Wasn't that a blonde joke?" asked Mickey?
"Cha," said Tilly. "Blonde jokes inspire!"
"Cha!" said Mickey. "I know!"
Chris looked at Mickey. "I'm a blonde!"
"Your point being?" asked Mickey.
"Cary Elwes is blonde!" said Chris.
"OMG! I sorry Cary!" cried Mickey.
"She cares more about an old man than meeeee?" gasped Chris?
"Ok, next story!" said Tilly. "Swimming Pool"
~Swimming Pool
Wanna know the EASIEST way to kill Coco? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.
"The end of the swimming pool" said Tilly
Smo let out a gasp. "I made a poopie!"
"Thanks for sharing," said Roxy.
"I can't believe I died again!" gasped Coco.
"Dude, you didn't die," said Kim. "It was a suggestion."
"Man, Tilly, we gotta hang sometime!" said Mercy and Killaconey.
"Tilly, you gotta come in during Math or Science!" laughed Mickey.
"Not math!" said Chris. "I love math!"
"Well, I hate math and I hate Mrs. Van Kat," said Mickey.
"You are a very cheery thinker," said Mittens.
"Alrighty! Desert Genie!" said Tilly.
"Any deaths in this one?" asked 13?
"No, sorry," said Tilly.
"Damn!" cursed Cat.
~ Desert Genie
One day, in Death Valley, Kim, Roxy and Coco were stranded. Then, Roxy found a magic lamp and rubbed it. A magical genie came out of her butt. "Well, this is odd," said Roxy
"I will grant you 3 wishes," said the genie.
"I wish for protection against everything for all of us!" said Roxy.
She got her wish. "Kim?"
"I wish for food!" said Kim.
Kim got a bunch of food. The genie turned to Coco. "You better wish for water or y'all won't survive!"
"I wish for a car door!" said Coco.
She got a car door. The genie went back into Roxy's ass. "Why the fuck did you want a car door?" gasped Kim?
"So, when it's hot, I can roll down the window and when it's cold, I can roll the window up!" said Coco.
"Idiot!" mumbled Kim.
"Since when did I have butt genies?" asked Roxy?
"I am soooooo not an idiot!" screamed Coco!
"Oh!" laughed Killaconey. "You soooooo are!"
"Shut up!" whinned Coco.
"Can I please finish my story?" asked Tilly?
"Go on Tilly," said Mrs. Katlin.
~ Head Phones
One day, Orlando Bloom layed his eyes on Coco. "Hi!" he said.
Coco ignored him. She walked on. Then, he noticed that she was wearing head phones. He ran over to her and yanked them off. "Hi!"
She stood there, not moving. Then she fainted. He checked her pulse. She was dead. Orlando freaked. He listened to the head phones.
A voice was saying 'Breathe in, breath out' over and over again. He got up and ran.
"That was soooooo sad!" cried Coco.
Mickey just sat there laughing her ass off. "Go ahead!" sneered Coco. "Laugh it up!"
"She was gonna do that anyway," said Chris.
"Mickey!" sneered Coco. "How would you like it if it had been you and Joey or you and
Wednesday or you and Ville?"
MIckey stopped laughing and narrowed her eyes. "See, I ain't an idiot like ya, so I don't need no tape telling me when to breath!"
"I gottta bonus story!" said Tilly.
~ Bonus.
Roxy was walking along and she exploded.
That wasn't a story!" said Smo.
"There had to be a catch...I hadn't died in any of the other stories," said Roxy. The bell rang. They all left.
~End~
"ORLANDO BLOOM!?" gasped Coco.
Mickey slammed her head against her desk. "I somehow doubt that," sneered Mickey. "Is it Joey?"
"No," said Mrs. Katlin.
"Wednesday? Shawn? Corey?" asked Mickey?
"No! No! No!" said Mrs. Katlin. "It's Kitten Elementary!"
"Oh joy!" sighed Roxy. That's the school that Tilly, her worst nightmare, attended.
"They are going to read us some stories," said Mrs. Katlin.
Mickey put her English stuff away. "Purr-fect way to spend English!"
Chris was laughing. "What's soooo damn funny?" sneered Mercy?
"Mickey said Purr-fect," laughed Chris.
"Very funny," said Killaconey confused.
"Don't you get it?" asked Chris? "She's a cat!"
"Ok...Chrissy, just stop before you make a complete fool of yourself!" said Mickey.
"Ok, let's hear the first story," said Mrs. Katlin. "Tilly Gum!"
"AHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Roxy.
"Sakura Roxy Pockey!" snapped Mrs. Katlin.
"Hi, I'm Kimberly Ann Gum's adorable wittle sister, Tilly," said Tilly.
"And Tilly, what story will you be reading us?" asked Mrs. Katlin?
"Cliff Genie, Swimming Pool, Desert Genie, and Head phones," said Tilly.
"Tilly, dear, you can only read one story," said Mrs. Bunson, Tilly's teacher.
"They're mini stories," said Tilly.
"Ok then!" said Mrs. Bunson.
~Cliff Genie.
One day Coco, Kim and Roxy were stuck on a small cliff. They needed to get back to the main land. Kim found a magic lamp and rubbed it. Out came a magical genie.
"Oh! Genie!" said Roxy. "We need your help!"
"You need to get back to the main land?" asked the Genie?
"Yes!" said Kim.
"Ok, this is what we'll do, you jump off the cliff and say what you wanna turn into to get to the other side," said the Genie.
"I'll go first!" said Roxy. She jumped from the cliff. "DRAGON!"
She turned in a dragon and flew to the other side. When she landed, she turned back.
Kim flung herself. "Hawk!" she too flew to the other side. Coco's turn was up, she jumped.
"CRAP!" she yelled. "I forgot!"
She turned into shit and fell to the ground below.
"The end of that story," said Tilly.
Coco's mouth hung open. "You killed Coco!" cheered Mercy.
"You turned me to doo doo!" cried Coco.
"Wasn't that a blonde joke?" asked Mickey?
"Cha," said Tilly. "Blonde jokes inspire!"
"Cha!" said Mickey. "I know!"
Chris looked at Mickey. "I'm a blonde!"
"Your point being?" asked Mickey.
"Cary Elwes is blonde!" said Chris.
"OMG! I sorry Cary!" cried Mickey.
"She cares more about an old man than meeeee?" gasped Chris?
"Ok, next story!" said Tilly. "Swimming Pool"
~Swimming Pool
Wanna know the EASIEST way to kill Coco? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.
"The end of the swimming pool" said Tilly
Smo let out a gasp. "I made a poopie!"
"Thanks for sharing," said Roxy.
"I can't believe I died again!" gasped Coco.
"Dude, you didn't die," said Kim. "It was a suggestion."
"Man, Tilly, we gotta hang sometime!" said Mercy and Killaconey.
"Tilly, you gotta come in during Math or Science!" laughed Mickey.
"Not math!" said Chris. "I love math!"
"Well, I hate math and I hate Mrs. Van Kat," said Mickey.
"You are a very cheery thinker," said Mittens.
"Alrighty! Desert Genie!" said Tilly.
"Any deaths in this one?" asked 13?
"No, sorry," said Tilly.
"Damn!" cursed Cat.
~ Desert Genie
One day, in Death Valley, Kim, Roxy and Coco were stranded. Then, Roxy found a magic lamp and rubbed it. A magical genie came out of her butt. "Well, this is odd," said Roxy
"I will grant you 3 wishes," said the genie.
"I wish for protection against everything for all of us!" said Roxy.
She got her wish. "Kim?"
"I wish for food!" said Kim.
Kim got a bunch of food. The genie turned to Coco. "You better wish for water or y'all won't survive!"
"I wish for a car door!" said Coco.
She got a car door. The genie went back into Roxy's ass. "Why the fuck did you want a car door?" gasped Kim?
"So, when it's hot, I can roll down the window and when it's cold, I can roll the window up!" said Coco.
"Idiot!" mumbled Kim.
"Since when did I have butt genies?" asked Roxy?
"I am soooooo not an idiot!" screamed Coco!
"Oh!" laughed Killaconey. "You soooooo are!"
"Shut up!" whinned Coco.
"Can I please finish my story?" asked Tilly?
"Go on Tilly," said Mrs. Katlin.
~ Head Phones
One day, Orlando Bloom layed his eyes on Coco. "Hi!" he said.
Coco ignored him. She walked on. Then, he noticed that she was wearing head phones. He ran over to her and yanked them off. "Hi!"
She stood there, not moving. Then she fainted. He checked her pulse. She was dead. Orlando freaked. He listened to the head phones.
A voice was saying 'Breathe in, breath out' over and over again. He got up and ran.
"That was soooooo sad!" cried Coco.
Mickey just sat there laughing her ass off. "Go ahead!" sneered Coco. "Laugh it up!"
"She was gonna do that anyway," said Chris.
"Mickey!" sneered Coco. "How would you like it if it had been you and Joey or you and
Wednesday or you and Ville?"
MIckey stopped laughing and narrowed her eyes. "See, I ain't an idiot like ya, so I don't need no tape telling me when to breath!"
"I gottta bonus story!" said Tilly.
~ Bonus.
Roxy was walking along and she exploded.
That wasn't a story!" said Smo.
"There had to be a catch...I hadn't died in any of the other stories," said Roxy. The bell rang. They all left.
~End~
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