Categories > Original > Humor
The Haunted Masion
0 reviewsThe Cats, Lizard and feret go to the Haunted Mansion. Kinda based on the attraction at Disneyland/ Walt Disney World
-1Illiterate
It was a cold and dark October night. Coco, Mercy, Mickey, Billy, Lydia, Veruca and Killaconey were standing outside an creepy old mansion.
Killaconey: See this mansion? It's haunted by spirits! But not just any spirits, chicken spirits!
Mercy: Chicken spirits?
Killaconey: Yup! And there are 999 clucking chickens in there, or says the lengend.
Lydia: Lengends aren't always real!
Killaconey: Well, prove me wrong!
Lydia: How?
Killaconey: Go in there!
Lydia: Noo!
Killaconey: I'll pay anyone who goes in there!
Coco: Did you say pay?
Killaconey: Yup, but you need two more peeps to go with ya!
Coco: Mick, Merc! Come with!
Mickey: Don't ever call me MICK again! Preppy lil' bastard!
Mercy: And what makes you think we'd even want to go in?
Coco: I'll get you both a jock for the up coming dance!
Mercy: Jocks are assholes.
Mickey: I don't go to school!
Coco: I can get one to go out with yas!
Mickey: I'm married!!!
Killaconey: Chickens!!! Hahaha!
Mickey: I'm no chicken! It's just that it'd be boring to go in there!
Billy: C'mon babe, let's go home, put the kids to bed and let's do it!
Mickey: Do what?
Billy: Make love to Nightmare Before Christmas!
Veruca: OVERSHARE!
Lydia: I did not need to know that!
Mickey: I'll be going in with Coco!
Killaconey: Good! Mercy?
Mercy: Fine, whatever.
Killaconey: Good luck!
Billy: Bye babe.
Mickey and Billy kiss
Mercy: Break it up!
Lydia: Bye mummy...
Veruca: Mummy, get me a chicken!
inside Mansion
They get into an elevator. They begen to go down.
Voice: Welcome foolish assholes to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, for 6 days and 5 romantic night! You have stepped into my elevator of nightmareish chicken happenings and uh....um....shit!
Mercy: Who are you?
Voice: Diana Gravey! I am the owner of this goddamn mansion and I was once a chicken farmer! Then....I saw the beast!
Mickey: The devil?
Diana: No, McKenna and now I'm a ghost! So why y'all here?
Coco: Cause we were dared!
Diana: Ok um.......now lets see if you can make it out of here....ALIVE!
The elevator stops
Diana: This chamber has NO windows and NO doors!
Coco: It's got to have a door! It's an elevator!
Diana: You REALLY shouldn't mumble!
Coco: Fook you!
Diana: Don't you mean Fuck?
Coco: That's a bad word!
Mercy: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
Coco: Y'ALL ARE SINNERS!
Diana: Anyway, you must find a way out!
Diana's voice fades away
Coco: You two! Quit breathing!
Mickey: Why?
Coco: You two are wastin' MY air!
Mercy: How can it be your air?
Coco: It has my name on it!
Mickey: Sorry, I can't read whatever writing you put your name in.
Coco: Then, since you TWO aren't following MY instructions, do you have any idea how to get out?
Mickey takes out a chainsaw.
Coco: You wanna know sumthun, Mrs. Martin? You get scarier every waking second.
Mickey saws down one of the walls, which leads into a hall.
Mercy: Hey look! An opening! I'm just THAT good!
They began to walk down the hall.
They see a coffin. On it was a see through chicken. Then, the lid jerked!
Coco: AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH!
???: Get me out!!!!!!
Diana: Don't even try to get her out!
Mercy: Why not?
Diana: She's a bitch with a whistle!
Mickey: Sounds annoying!
Diana's voice fades away again.
Mickey: Look! Another room!
Mickey turns to walk to the next room but slips and falls in a puddle.
Mickey: The fuck did I--AW GROSS!
Coco: Sorry! Just be glad it's not shit!
Mercy: Didn't you go before we came in?
Coco: YEAH! But the person in the coffin scared me!
Mercy: You scare me!
They go into the next room. In it is a crystal ball. A face appears within the ball.
???- Hello, I'm Madam Mittens. I will look into your future and see what will happen to you...within in the next week!
Coco: ME! Do me first!
Mercy: Do you know how wrong that sounded?
Coco sits down.
Mittens: You will be asked to play a part in an upcoming movie.
Coco: ALRIGHT!
Mittens: Mickey, come.
Mickey sits down.
Mittens: May I ask YOU a question?
Mickey: Shoot
Mittens: Why do you smell of urine?
Mickey: Why don't you ask HER! points to coco
Coco: Just tell her what's gonna happen in the next week.
Mittens: You will be expecting another kitten.
Mickey: DAMN!
Mittens: Mercy!
Mercy sits down.
Mittens: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You don't wanna know.
Mercy: Yes I do.
Mittens: OMG! I didn't know someone could be soo damn violent!
Mercy: It's a good vision then.
They go into the next room. It's a ball room. They see Smo tied to a chair.
Mercy: So THAT'S where he's been!
A chicken appears on his chest and begens to peck him to death. Once Smo is dead, Mercy hugs the chicken.
Mercy: I love you.
???: WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN TAKEN YOU ALL?
They turn to see a kitten in a bride's dress.
Mercy: Who the hell are you?
???: Tilly! The chicken princess!
Mercy: Could you please guide us to the nearest exit?
Mickey: Why? I kinda like it here! It kinda grows on you!
Mercy: I wanna get out before Miss. Prissy shits herself! And plus don't you wanna make love to Bil-
Mickey bitch slaps Mercy!
Mercy: Ass!
Mickey: Asshole!
Mercy: Mother of asses!
Mickey: Bee-otch!
Mercy: Bitch!
Mickey: Bitch ass!
Mercy: Bastard!
Mickey: Bastard Fuck!
Tilly: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mickey: Yeah?
Tilly: See the green sign that says exit? That's the exit.
So they get out.
Killaconey: So how was it?
Mickey and Mercy: A complete waste of our time.
Veruca: Hey, Coco, wasn't that a white skirt? Why is it yellow?
Billy: And babe, why do you smell of urine?
Mickey and Coco: We'll tell you on the the ride home!
~Next Week~
Mercy, Mickey and Coco were AIMing each other.
KillerLizard9: Remember what that head said.
Frenchie3: That rhymed! ^__^
KSGURL97: Shut up!! ><
KillerLizard9: Ne-way, did any of that shit she said came true?
Frenchie3: Yup :(
KSGURL97: Yup 8D
KillerLizard9: Mine did too! ^__^
Frenchie3: Did you just put a face!? 0___________0;;;;;;; Mine came true
KillerLizard9: Yup! Mine was good! ^^ I slaughtered McKenna!
KSGURL97: Congrats! ^^
KillerLizard9: What happened to you Coco?
Frenchie3: I got stared in a movie! But my parents aren't happy about it!!!
KSGURL97: Why not? 0.o
Frenchie3: I dunno!
KSGURL97: What's the title?
Frenchie3: Hot, Steamy, Sexy XXX
KSGURL97: Do you know what those X's stand for?
Frenchie3: Nope!
KillerLizard9: It's a porno!
Frenchie3: NO IT"S NOT!
KSGURL97: Yes it is!
Frenchie3: You are just jealous that I get to be in a movie! -_____-
KillerLizard9: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
~End~
Killaconey: See this mansion? It's haunted by spirits! But not just any spirits, chicken spirits!
Mercy: Chicken spirits?
Killaconey: Yup! And there are 999 clucking chickens in there, or says the lengend.
Lydia: Lengends aren't always real!
Killaconey: Well, prove me wrong!
Lydia: How?
Killaconey: Go in there!
Lydia: Noo!
Killaconey: I'll pay anyone who goes in there!
Coco: Did you say pay?
Killaconey: Yup, but you need two more peeps to go with ya!
Coco: Mick, Merc! Come with!
Mickey: Don't ever call me MICK again! Preppy lil' bastard!
Mercy: And what makes you think we'd even want to go in?
Coco: I'll get you both a jock for the up coming dance!
Mercy: Jocks are assholes.
Mickey: I don't go to school!
Coco: I can get one to go out with yas!
Mickey: I'm married!!!
Killaconey: Chickens!!! Hahaha!
Mickey: I'm no chicken! It's just that it'd be boring to go in there!
Billy: C'mon babe, let's go home, put the kids to bed and let's do it!
Mickey: Do what?
Billy: Make love to Nightmare Before Christmas!
Veruca: OVERSHARE!
Lydia: I did not need to know that!
Mickey: I'll be going in with Coco!
Killaconey: Good! Mercy?
Mercy: Fine, whatever.
Killaconey: Good luck!
Billy: Bye babe.
Mickey and Billy kiss
Mercy: Break it up!
Lydia: Bye mummy...
Veruca: Mummy, get me a chicken!
inside Mansion
They get into an elevator. They begen to go down.
Voice: Welcome foolish assholes to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, for 6 days and 5 romantic night! You have stepped into my elevator of nightmareish chicken happenings and uh....um....shit!
Mercy: Who are you?
Voice: Diana Gravey! I am the owner of this goddamn mansion and I was once a chicken farmer! Then....I saw the beast!
Mickey: The devil?
Diana: No, McKenna and now I'm a ghost! So why y'all here?
Coco: Cause we were dared!
Diana: Ok um.......now lets see if you can make it out of here....ALIVE!
The elevator stops
Diana: This chamber has NO windows and NO doors!
Coco: It's got to have a door! It's an elevator!
Diana: You REALLY shouldn't mumble!
Coco: Fook you!
Diana: Don't you mean Fuck?
Coco: That's a bad word!
Mercy: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!
Coco: Y'ALL ARE SINNERS!
Diana: Anyway, you must find a way out!
Diana's voice fades away
Coco: You two! Quit breathing!
Mickey: Why?
Coco: You two are wastin' MY air!
Mercy: How can it be your air?
Coco: It has my name on it!
Mickey: Sorry, I can't read whatever writing you put your name in.
Coco: Then, since you TWO aren't following MY instructions, do you have any idea how to get out?
Mickey takes out a chainsaw.
Coco: You wanna know sumthun, Mrs. Martin? You get scarier every waking second.
Mickey saws down one of the walls, which leads into a hall.
Mercy: Hey look! An opening! I'm just THAT good!
They began to walk down the hall.
They see a coffin. On it was a see through chicken. Then, the lid jerked!
Coco: AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH!
???: Get me out!!!!!!
Diana: Don't even try to get her out!
Mercy: Why not?
Diana: She's a bitch with a whistle!
Mickey: Sounds annoying!
Diana's voice fades away again.
Mickey: Look! Another room!
Mickey turns to walk to the next room but slips and falls in a puddle.
Mickey: The fuck did I--AW GROSS!
Coco: Sorry! Just be glad it's not shit!
Mercy: Didn't you go before we came in?
Coco: YEAH! But the person in the coffin scared me!
Mercy: You scare me!
They go into the next room. In it is a crystal ball. A face appears within the ball.
???- Hello, I'm Madam Mittens. I will look into your future and see what will happen to you...within in the next week!
Coco: ME! Do me first!
Mercy: Do you know how wrong that sounded?
Coco sits down.
Mittens: You will be asked to play a part in an upcoming movie.
Coco: ALRIGHT!
Mittens: Mickey, come.
Mickey sits down.
Mittens: May I ask YOU a question?
Mickey: Shoot
Mittens: Why do you smell of urine?
Mickey: Why don't you ask HER! points to coco
Coco: Just tell her what's gonna happen in the next week.
Mittens: You will be expecting another kitten.
Mickey: DAMN!
Mittens: Mercy!
Mercy sits down.
Mittens: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You don't wanna know.
Mercy: Yes I do.
Mittens: OMG! I didn't know someone could be soo damn violent!
Mercy: It's a good vision then.
They go into the next room. It's a ball room. They see Smo tied to a chair.
Mercy: So THAT'S where he's been!
A chicken appears on his chest and begens to peck him to death. Once Smo is dead, Mercy hugs the chicken.
Mercy: I love you.
???: WHAT THE HELL HAS BEEN TAKEN YOU ALL?
They turn to see a kitten in a bride's dress.
Mercy: Who the hell are you?
???: Tilly! The chicken princess!
Mercy: Could you please guide us to the nearest exit?
Mickey: Why? I kinda like it here! It kinda grows on you!
Mercy: I wanna get out before Miss. Prissy shits herself! And plus don't you wanna make love to Bil-
Mickey bitch slaps Mercy!
Mercy: Ass!
Mickey: Asshole!
Mercy: Mother of asses!
Mickey: Bee-otch!
Mercy: Bitch!
Mickey: Bitch ass!
Mercy: Bastard!
Mickey: Bastard Fuck!
Tilly: HEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mickey: Yeah?
Tilly: See the green sign that says exit? That's the exit.
So they get out.
Killaconey: So how was it?
Mickey and Mercy: A complete waste of our time.
Veruca: Hey, Coco, wasn't that a white skirt? Why is it yellow?
Billy: And babe, why do you smell of urine?
Mickey and Coco: We'll tell you on the the ride home!
~Next Week~
Mercy, Mickey and Coco were AIMing each other.
KillerLizard9: Remember what that head said.
Frenchie3: That rhymed! ^__^
KSGURL97: Shut up!! ><
KillerLizard9: Ne-way, did any of that shit she said came true?
Frenchie3: Yup :(
KSGURL97: Yup 8D
KillerLizard9: Mine did too! ^__^
Frenchie3: Did you just put a face!? 0___________0;;;;;;; Mine came true
KillerLizard9: Yup! Mine was good! ^^ I slaughtered McKenna!
KSGURL97: Congrats! ^^
KillerLizard9: What happened to you Coco?
Frenchie3: I got stared in a movie! But my parents aren't happy about it!!!
KSGURL97: Why not? 0.o
Frenchie3: I dunno!
KSGURL97: What's the title?
Frenchie3: Hot, Steamy, Sexy XXX
KSGURL97: Do you know what those X's stand for?
Frenchie3: Nope!
KillerLizard9: It's a porno!
Frenchie3: NO IT"S NOT!
KSGURL97: Yes it is!
Frenchie3: You are just jealous that I get to be in a movie! -_____-
KillerLizard9: Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
~End~
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