FicWad

The year was 1988 and the Girls tour was going strong. Like any other band, Crüe had some really good times and some really rough times. The members would fight constantly and put every tour in jeopardy of an early finish, but in the end their bonds were only strengthened by their differences. In specific, the bond between Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee had become seemingly unbreakable at one point. The Terror Twins, as they liked to be called, had formed a relationship like no other. They were practically brothers in public, but behind the scenes they were lovers. Their partnership went on until the early nineties when it all came crashing down. Nikki had been relapsing into addiction and he became extremely violent. He beat the drummer constantly, but Tommy tried to tough it out until one day he decided that he’d finally had enough. He left Nikki and, unknowingly, he took the bassist’s heart with him on his way out of the relationship. He also didn’t realize until years later that he’d left his own heart with Nikki.

It was you and me, and one hot summer.
Beading up with sweat, all over each other.
Soaking wet…

It was just another humid and stifling day in June of 1988. The gig was over and the boys were in the middle of rural Texas. Vince and Mick had gone off in search of cooler climates while Nikki and Tommy made the most of their alone time. The drummer pulled the older man into a secluded area backstage and tackled him onto a nearby couch. His long fingers clawed at the fabric of Nikki’s shirt as he fused their mouths together with a searing passion. Tommy straddled his lover’s waist as he worked to get them out of their clothes as quickly as humanly possible. Nikki took full control of the kiss as his hands rubbed up and down Tommy’s sides. The bassist’s tongue poked at the drummer’s bottom lip, demanding entrance. Once it was granted, Nikki brought his hands up to hold Tommy’s face. Their tongues mingled while the drummer got them both out of their pants. Their stage makeup smeared across their faces and their sweat was beginning to mix in with their saliva. Soon they had stripped out of their clothes and changed positions. Tommy lay on his back on the couch while Nikki climbed between his legs, lube in hand. The bassist slicked the lube over his extremely hard cock and lined himself up with the drummer’s entrance. He leaned forward to kiss Tommy and pushed in slowly as their lips made contact. Screams and moans spilled into the room as the night went on and the air was thick with want and need.

We didn't have a lot of time, so we didn't waste much,
Finding all the right places you wanted me to touch.
And all those memories make it so hard to forget about me.

Tommy sat up in his bed, breathing heavily. His eyes were bleary with sleep and his long hair was going in every direction. He forced his eyes to focus as he took in his surroundings. The year was 1992 and he was alone in his house. His eyes filled with tears as he recalled the dream he had been having. Tommy pulled his knees to his chest and thanked every god in existence that they weren’t on tour. He wouldn’t have known what to do if he was still around Nikki. What would he do around his ex-lover? Would he be crying like this? No. He couldn’t show weakness around Nikki ever again. Tommy gritted his teeth and glared through his tears at the ground. He let Nikki have all the control in the relationship, and what did that get him? It got him bruises, scars, and a broken heart. The drummer stood up and walked over to his full body mirror. He removed his shirt and stared deeply into the mirror. The bruises were gone, but the scars remained. He traced his fingers over a pale mark that ran from the top of his shoulder across his torso. The night he got that one he had tried to talk Nikki into going back to rehab. He turned away and headed for the bed. He hated to look at his scars, but no matter how many times Nikki hit Tommy, Tommy would always love him.

I bet you wish you had me back.
Another chance to get it just like that,
The best you ever had.
And do you close your eyes with her,
And pretend I'm doing you again,
Like only I can.
I bet you wish you had me back.

The room was dark. The only light that kissed the floor came from the brightly lit motel sign outside the window. The headboard of the cheap bed banged repeatedly against the thin wall. Nikki was making love to the most beautiful and amazing person in the world or at least he thought he was. His eyes were practically glued shut and he couldn’t hear anything that was going on around him. In his mind, he and Tommy were in bed together. The sheets were a mess and so were they. Their long, dark hair was sticking to their faces and the lust between them was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Tommy’s deep brown eyes were staring up at Nikki who was leaning down for a kiss that could sear the skin right off their lips. Tommy smiled into the kiss and wrapped his legs around the bassist’s waist while he wrapped his arms snaked around Nikki’s neck. The friction between them and the tight heat of Tommy’s body was getting to be too much for the bassist. Nikki was about to cum when he heard a high pitched moan that came from in front of him. He looked down and saw a young girl sprawled beneath him. He had been imagining the entire thing. He wasn’t with Tommy and he wasn’t in a good mood. He practically growled before climbing off of the bed and grabbing his pants and keys. He stepped out into the night and climbed into his car. He pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. He took a long drag on his smoke before he put the key in the ignition. He started driving, but he wasn’t sure where he was going. His mind had picked the destination before it told his brain. Before he knew it, he was sitting in front of Tommy’s house. His eyes filled with tears as he rolled the windows up. No one needed to hear him fall apart. The bassist buried his face in his palms and cried. He’d been living with the guilt of what he did to Tommy for almost a year, and he could barely live with himself. He’d sunk into a deep depression of sorts that he just couldn’t seem to get out of. He knew what could cure this ache, but it was the one person that he could never gain the trust of again. The cure was the one person who could kiss away all of his pains and fears. The cure was the person that Nikki had held so dearly, but still managed to hurt. The cure was Tommy.

It was you and me, it seemed to last forever.
The way you taste, and I still remember,
The sounds we made…
One day in June, I stayed all night,
And made love to you like, the Fourth of July.
And all those memories make it so hard to forget about me.

It was a warm night in June of 1991. The Terror Twins slipped away after a kick ass show and gone to a little motel nearby. They ran the whole way, hand in hand like two giddy teenagers. They didn’t even bother checking in, Nikki just kicked a door in and Tommy closed it once they were inside, propping a chair underneath the knob. When the drummer turned around his lover was already out of most of his clothes and on the bed. The bassist had a huge grin on his face as he crooked his index finger at Tommy. The drummer eagerly undressed and climbed in bed with his lover. They kissed for what seemed like hours before things really started to heat up. Tommy’s thoughts of this night were interrupted when he heard a quiet knock at his front door. The drummer had been sitting on his bed, trying to tear his thoughts away from the scar that he had reminded himself of. He stumbled angrily from his bedroom to see who it was. His heart nearly stopped when he opened the front door, because lo and behold, there was Nikki. He was standing on the drummer’s doorstep, clad in nothing but a pair of tight black jeans. His makeup was running down his cheeks and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days. Tommy’s lower lip trembled as he stepped aside to let Nikki into his house. Once the bassist was in, the younger man shut and locked the door. He let all rationality leave his mind and body as he wrapped his arms around Nikki. The older man inhaled shakily as he embraced his past lover. When their arms let up and allowed for some breathing room Tommy rested his forehead on Nikki’s. The bassist brushed his lips against the drummers’ tentatively and Tommy responded my parting his lips for Nikki. Nostalgia washed over both of the men when they realized how much they had missed this. The distinctive taste of each other’s mouths was something that could never be forgotten or replaced in either of their minds. Before he realized what was happening, Tommy found himself on his bed with Nikki on top of him. His mind was screaming at him to stop everything before he got hurt again, but the drummer wouldn’t listen. He didn’t care if Nikki put him in the fucking morgue, he couldn’t stay away from him anymore. He loved him too much.

I bet you wish you had me back.
Another chance to get it just like that,
The best you ever had.
And do you close your eyes with her,
And pretend I'm doing you again,
Like only I can.
I bet you wish you had me back.

Birds were chirping and the sun was shining. Nikki opened his eyes to see where he was. He recognized the place, but he couldn’t put a name to it. He wasn’t at the motel and he wasn’t at his house, so where the fuck was he? He sat up and yawned. “Good morning Nikki.” The bassist’s heart skipped a beat when he heard the voice of his lover next to him. He looked over and saw Tommy smiling up at him. Memories of the night before came flooding back to him and he leaned down to kiss the younger man. “Morning baby.” He whispered before pressing a soft kiss to Tommy’s lips. “I bet you wish this was all real, huh? I bet you wish you actually had me back.” The drummer’s words confused Nikki. The bassist stared at Tommy for about a minute before everything went wrong. Tommy started clutching at his abdomen and screaming at Nikki to save him. The bassist blinked maybe twice before he saw blood everywhere. Tommy had been stabbed at least five times, but by who? He stared down at his trembling hands and saw a bloody knife. Soon everything began to fade. Tommy disappeared right before Nikki’s eyes and the world around him turned into black oblivion.

I bet you wish you had me back.
Every night,
Every time,
You see me when you close your eyes.
I bet you wish you had me back.
Another chance to get it just like that,
Like only I can.
I bet you wish you had me back.
I bet you wish you had me back.

Nikki sat up from his bed and screamed, “Tommy, I’m sorry!” sweat was dripping down his forehead and his heart was pounding. Someone rushed into the room with a cup and a wet washcloth. They lightly pushed him back into bed and draped the cloth over his forehead. “It was just another dream Mr. Sixx. You killed Tommy Lee in 1992, he’s gone.” These words that he had to hear every night still cut him worse than any knife ever could. Warm tears streamed down his cheeks as the nurse put the cup to his lips. Nikki was in a mental institution for the criminally insane because he killed his best friend and true love. The dream that he had was the same one that he had every single night. His dream is a distorted version of the night he killed Tommy. In reality, the bassist showed up to Tommy’s house and broke in while the drummer was sleeping. He then gave his lover one last kiss before stabbing him to death. Nikki drank the liquid that the nurse had given him and drifted back to sleep. Before the medication completely numbed his mind, Nikki wished for two things. He feebly wished to somehow have Tommy back in his life and he wished with all of his heart and soul that he could die that night. He wanted more than anything to join his lover in death.