FicWad

My heart, though no longer beating, belongs to you honey.

I pressed my head against the window of the funeral car and watched the rain drops hit the glass like little bullets, I watched the little path they make as they trickle down the glass. I thought about the first time I met Frank, it was raining like it is now, I was running home to get out of the rain when I smacked into him and made him fall. But now little Frankie isn’t here. He’s gone. He’s dead.
“Gerard we’re here.” Mikey said softly to me and I gave him a soft fake smile.
we walked into the and we sat down in the first row right up close to where Frank’s body was.
Ray and Mikey were crying hysterically, but I’d already cried myself dry, everyone took turns going up to the stand and saying something about how great Frank was, when I came to my turn I walked past the coffin trying not to look at it, knowing I’d never be ready to see what was inside.
“I-I…” I opened my mouth to talk but nothing came out. I risked a glance over to the coffin but wished I didn’t because the tears welled up in my eyes and I fell to my knees and started bawling my eyes out. “I LOVE YOU FRANKIE!” I yelled. Mikey rushed over to me and picked me up off the ground.
“Gerard…” Mikey started.
“No no no no no no no.” I buried my face in his shoulder and shook my head. Frank wasn’t dead, this was just a dream, a sick twisted dream, and soon I’ll wake up and Frank will be there with his arms around me still asleep.
“Gerard come on alright. We’re going to bury him now and frank wouldn’t want you crying over him like this.” Mikey said in a calm voice and motioned for me to walk with him.
I didn’t answer but followed any way. Mikey walked over to the coffin and went to close the lid.
“Wait.” I stopped him. I stood over Frank and stared down at his face. He was truly gorgeous, even in death. He was wearing his favourite shirt and Vans. The under takers really did a good job on his face, he had red eyeliner on – the way he always did – and his hair was straightened and brushed. He looked like he could be sleeping. I brushed his cheek , it was ice cold and smooth. I bent down to kiss his lips, for the last time.
“I’ll always love you Frankie, I promise I will.” I whispered in his ear. “Now and forever.” I glanced down at the ring on his finger. I remember him saying on our wedding night that he wanted to be buried wearing it, ‘so that angels in heaven don’t try the flirt with you.’ I smiled at the memory and another tear rolled down my cheek.
“Ready then?” Ray asked with tears in his eyes.
“No.” I said bluntly with a small smile. “Never will be.”
They closed the lid on the coffin, concealing my Frankie forever. We all took a side of the coffin, Mine being the one closest to his heart, and lifted it up to rest on my shoulder. We walked down the long stairs of the church in silence, me not even breathing.
We reached the open grave, where frank was going to be buried. It took everything I had not to jump in there with him, and be with him forever. We were all handed a black rose, Frank’s favourite flower, to put on the coffin, the coffin itself was beautiful. Black with white edges and a red heart right over where franks heart is. I read the grave stone:
Here lies Franklin Iero-Way.
Husband to Gerard Iero-Way.
Dearly missed by all.
Dearly missed was an understatement. I loved my little Frankie more than life itself. I don’t know how I was going to cope without him here. I wasn’t.
I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my hand, I realised I was squeezing the rose so tightly that it pierced my skin and drew blood. I threw the rose onto the coffin and the rest of the guys followed. The minister said a few words and they lowered the coffin into the ground and started cover him in dirt.
“Come on Gerard.” Ray put his arm around me. “Let’s go.”
We all got back into the cars, but me on my own in the first car and the other two guys in the second. By this time the rain had soaked me and my hair was dripping onto the carpet of the car, I started at the golden ring on my finger. My wedding ring. My promise to Frank that I would love him forever and ever, years and years, until we grew old together.
“Umm were here now sir.” The driver broke my train of thought.
“Thanks.” I gave him a small smile. I got up out of the car and walked up to the hall where most of the guests were already here. Sitting on the chairs and making small conversation, but it all went quite when I walked in. everyone just staring at me, god knows what I must f looked like all the crying I’ve been doing lately. I simply gave them all a small smile and went over to where ray was standing.
“Hey Gerard, how you doing?” ray asked giving me a small hug.
“Alright I suppose.” I sighed and looked around the hall. It was decorated with pictures of Frank, but one of them caught my eye. It was of me and him on our wedding day, during our first dance. I sighed again. there was a band in the corner playing songs that Ray and Mikey had picked out.
“Ray do you mind if I like go?” I asked not really wanting to stay around here.
“Okay then. Do you want me to drive you?”
“No i-I’ll be alright.” I smiled and walked out. My house was only a ten minute walk away anyway.
The rain had stopped for the most part but the sky was still grey, and even black in some places.
when I got home I went straight up to the bedroom, took off my jacket and threw it on the bed.
sighing I flopped down onto the bed and brushed the hair out of my eyes. Then I remembered. I got up and walked over to the wardrobe and dug around in it until I found what I was looking for. The little brown box. I took back over to the bed and opened it. There it was. Shining in the light that came through the window. I picked it up, it felt lighter than I remembered. I held in my hands looking it over. The gun. I slowly put it up to my head. I knew I had to do this. I rested my finger on the trigger and closed my eyes.
“I’m coming Frankie.” I whispered and pulled the trigger.
………… Nothing. I felt nothing. I opened my eyes.
Don’t even think about it Gee.
A note said in the box, I picked it up, it was Frank’s handwriting. Underneath the note was a letter, the envelope had my name on it so I opened it :
Gee,
if you’ve found this than your being an idiot. The gun isn’t loaded so don’t think about using it. I’m watching over you from where ever I and I swear that I’ll never let anything hurt you, ever. And don’t worry about me anymore I’m fine, don’t worry about the angels flirting with me either because I’ve already got my angel, Gee. You. And you’ve got me, and you will ALWAYS have me, hone I promise. My heart, though no longer beating, belongs to you honey. I’m waiting for you up here but I hope I’m waiting a long time. I hope you have a long happy life without me Gee. Find someone else. Someone to love you like I do. I doubt you’ll find someone that loves you more than I do, because I do love you Gee, more than I can ever say. I’ll still kiss you when you’re sad. I’ll still hug you while you’re sleeping. I promise I’ll take care of you.
Love you , now and forever.
Your Frankie.
xoxox
Suddenly life didn’t seem so bad to me anymore.