Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Just Think Happy Thoughts
Chapter 5: Dark Drawings
3 reviewsGerard can't remember last night, but he drew something he doesn't remember thinking of
0Unrated
Here's the new chapter! I hope you love :) Enjoy!
When Gerard had gotten back to his apartment from the coffee shop on Saturday, he'd been confused and depressed. He and Celeste had been having a normal conversation that was supposed to be questioning the other, so why had she suddenly bolted as soon as he asked about marriage? Determined to find out but scared to call her again, Gerard had spent the rest of the day drawing his comics, reading, and drinking. By that night, he'd gotten himself into a drunken stupor.
The next morning, he could barely remember anything past 7 the night before. Ugh, I need some aspirin, he groaned, pulling himself off the couch. As he stumbled towards the bathroom, he noticed a stack of papers on the kitchen counter that hadn't been there the night before. Confused, he got three painkillers out of the bathroom and swallowed them.
"What are these..." Gerard muttered, walking over to the counter and picking up the papers. The first page was filled with what appeared to be song lyrics, but he'd never heard them before in his life. "'Well let's go back to the middle of the day that starts it all, I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling...' What is this?" he asked himself, reading one of the lines on the paper. Everything was in his drunken handwriting: an awkward mixture of cursive and normal handwriting that slanted way too much.
Setting the page filled with lyrics down, he looked at the next piece of paper. It was a drawing, but it took him a while to figure out what it was because it was so smudged. After staring at it for a good five minutes, he finally made out what it was. "The fuck?"
Extremely distorted and surrounded by what looked like black clouds, was a person laying face down on what looked like grass. The arms and legs were spread out in unnatural ways, as if the person had fallen. Clearly, the person had fairly long hair because the face was completely covered. There appeared to be a puddle of something dark spreading out from the person. Blood? However, any other details were too hard to distinguish. Everything was in dark pencil and smudged.
"What the fuck was I on last night...?" Gerard whispered, setting the drawing off to one side. It was clearly his work, but he'd never drawn anything that different before. However, it was one of the best drawings he'd ever done. It was bolder than his normal work. Frowning, he continued to look at the stack of papers. The rest were all drawings in the same bold, strong manner. Some were of what appeared to be superheroes or villains, others were different places in the city that he visited regularly.
Deciding he needed to remember exactly what he'd been on when he drew these, he went back over to the couch and looked at the empty beer bottles and pill bottles. There were only Xanax and Vicodin. "So painkillers, anxiety meds, and booze gives me great inspiration..." he mumbled, walking into his bathroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After he'd showered and cleaned his house up a little bit, Gerard decided to call his brother and friends. After making up with Mikey the day before, he figured it would be a good idea for all of them to hang out a little bit. He quickly grabbed his phone and dialed his brother's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mikes. What are you doing later?" Gerard asked, biting his lip. He was worried his brother was mad at him again.
"Um, I dunno. Probably nothing. Why?" Mikey sounded skeptical. He'd been called way too many times by Gerard and then by the time he got over, his brother was stoned and crying about Lizzie.
"I was wondering if you and the guys wanted to come over. I drew some things last night and I wanna show you," Gerard said, surprising himself. It hadn't dawned on him until he'd said it that he needed to show the drawings to someone.
"Yeah, I think I can make it. When do you want me over?"
Gerard glanced quickly at the clock. Noon... "How about an hour? That cool?"
"Yeah," Mikey said brightly. "I'll see you then."
Gerard quickly called Frank and Ray, who both agreed to the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three men arrived at Gerard's house at exactly the same time. He opened the door and laughed. "Did you drive together?"
"Yep!" Frank said happily, flouncing into the apartment. "So Mikey said you drew stuff?"
Gerard brightened and quickly collected the stack of paper. He'd put the lyrics and the picture of the body under his bed; they weren't meant to be seen by any eyes other than his own. "Yeah. It's a lot different than what I usually do." He handed the papers to his brother, who stared at the top page intently. Ray and Frank clustered around Mikey, each staring at the drawings. There were about 10 pictures, and it took at least 5 minutes before anyone said anything.
"Gee, why'd you start drawing like this suddenly? I mean, yeah, they're great, but they're darker than what you usually draw," Ray said, speaking for the first time.
Gerard suddenly realized he hadn't come up with a good excuse. If he said he'd been fucked up when he drew them and didn't even remember it, they'd get pissed at him. "I dunno, really. I just kinda started doodling last night and I was feeling kinda sad about Celeste so everything just came out differently. I like this more than my usual style, though." That should keep them occupied, he thought, pleased.
"What happened with your lady friend?" Ray asked, seeming to forget the different drawing style. He set the papers on the counter and went to sit on the couch. The three other men followed him, with Mikey sitting next to Ray, Gerard on the one armchair, and Frank curled up on the ground at Gerard's feet.
"We went to get coffee yesterday during her lunch break and everything was fine, then we started talking about marriage for some reason. She asked if I was gonna get married ever, so I figured it'd be okay if I asked her. Then she freaked out and left." Gerard scowled at the memory of it.
"That's weird. Did she say anything before that would make it seem like she would freak out?" Frank asked from the ground. He'd laid on his back for some reason and was picking at his cuticles.
Gerard thought back to the day before. "Well, she seemed really private about her family."
"Maybe she's just embarrassed or something?" Mikey offered. "I've noticed that people don't usually like talking about their families first time they meet someone."
Gerard nodded. "Yeah, probably. Oh well. I just don't know if she's gonna want to talk to me anymore. I'll probably call her later tonight."
The three guys agreed. "Just don't be a sappy, apologetic bitch, okay? The ladies don't like that!" Frank laughed, smacking his friend's leg.
"Shut your trap, Frankie!" Gerard retorted, casually hitting Frank's head. "She's only 19, I feel like enough of a pedophile already! I'm not gonna try to do anything. That'd be creepy as fuck."
Frank grinned slyly. "19, you say? Well, if you're not gonna tap that, do I get dibs? I'm the youngest one here!"
"Franklin, you have a girlfriend!" Ray said, laughing. "Don't be such a horndog. Jamia's too nice for that!"
Frank rolled his eyes. "I know, I know! I'm just saying. If Gerard doesn't bang his lovely lady, one of us just has to!" He winked. "And Mikey's the only one besides Gee who doesn't have a girlfriend...Mikey, I dub thee Sir Tap-A-Lot."
Mikey laughed loudly. "I am not gonna bang my brother's girlfriend!"
Gerard grinned. "She's not my girlfriend! Can we do something besides yell at me to get laid?"
"Like what?" Frank asked, seeming genuinely confused.
"What do we always do, Frankie?" Ray said. "We watch fucked up movies and eat. Shall we do that?"
The three other guys agreed loudly. Great, this is gonna be a normal day, Gerard thought, smiling. I need this. Especially since this might be one of the last times we spend together like this. Happy.
I hope you enjoyed! And I decided I'm going to make the chapters a little shorter so that I can get installments out faster than usual. R&R please, luvs! :)
xo Allie
When Gerard had gotten back to his apartment from the coffee shop on Saturday, he'd been confused and depressed. He and Celeste had been having a normal conversation that was supposed to be questioning the other, so why had she suddenly bolted as soon as he asked about marriage? Determined to find out but scared to call her again, Gerard had spent the rest of the day drawing his comics, reading, and drinking. By that night, he'd gotten himself into a drunken stupor.
The next morning, he could barely remember anything past 7 the night before. Ugh, I need some aspirin, he groaned, pulling himself off the couch. As he stumbled towards the bathroom, he noticed a stack of papers on the kitchen counter that hadn't been there the night before. Confused, he got three painkillers out of the bathroom and swallowed them.
"What are these..." Gerard muttered, walking over to the counter and picking up the papers. The first page was filled with what appeared to be song lyrics, but he'd never heard them before in his life. "'Well let's go back to the middle of the day that starts it all, I can't begin to let you know just what I'm feeling...' What is this?" he asked himself, reading one of the lines on the paper. Everything was in his drunken handwriting: an awkward mixture of cursive and normal handwriting that slanted way too much.
Setting the page filled with lyrics down, he looked at the next piece of paper. It was a drawing, but it took him a while to figure out what it was because it was so smudged. After staring at it for a good five minutes, he finally made out what it was. "The fuck?"
Extremely distorted and surrounded by what looked like black clouds, was a person laying face down on what looked like grass. The arms and legs were spread out in unnatural ways, as if the person had fallen. Clearly, the person had fairly long hair because the face was completely covered. There appeared to be a puddle of something dark spreading out from the person. Blood? However, any other details were too hard to distinguish. Everything was in dark pencil and smudged.
"What the fuck was I on last night...?" Gerard whispered, setting the drawing off to one side. It was clearly his work, but he'd never drawn anything that different before. However, it was one of the best drawings he'd ever done. It was bolder than his normal work. Frowning, he continued to look at the stack of papers. The rest were all drawings in the same bold, strong manner. Some were of what appeared to be superheroes or villains, others were different places in the city that he visited regularly.
Deciding he needed to remember exactly what he'd been on when he drew these, he went back over to the couch and looked at the empty beer bottles and pill bottles. There were only Xanax and Vicodin. "So painkillers, anxiety meds, and booze gives me great inspiration..." he mumbled, walking into his bathroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After he'd showered and cleaned his house up a little bit, Gerard decided to call his brother and friends. After making up with Mikey the day before, he figured it would be a good idea for all of them to hang out a little bit. He quickly grabbed his phone and dialed his brother's number.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mikes. What are you doing later?" Gerard asked, biting his lip. He was worried his brother was mad at him again.
"Um, I dunno. Probably nothing. Why?" Mikey sounded skeptical. He'd been called way too many times by Gerard and then by the time he got over, his brother was stoned and crying about Lizzie.
"I was wondering if you and the guys wanted to come over. I drew some things last night and I wanna show you," Gerard said, surprising himself. It hadn't dawned on him until he'd said it that he needed to show the drawings to someone.
"Yeah, I think I can make it. When do you want me over?"
Gerard glanced quickly at the clock. Noon... "How about an hour? That cool?"
"Yeah," Mikey said brightly. "I'll see you then."
Gerard quickly called Frank and Ray, who both agreed to the time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The three men arrived at Gerard's house at exactly the same time. He opened the door and laughed. "Did you drive together?"
"Yep!" Frank said happily, flouncing into the apartment. "So Mikey said you drew stuff?"
Gerard brightened and quickly collected the stack of paper. He'd put the lyrics and the picture of the body under his bed; they weren't meant to be seen by any eyes other than his own. "Yeah. It's a lot different than what I usually do." He handed the papers to his brother, who stared at the top page intently. Ray and Frank clustered around Mikey, each staring at the drawings. There were about 10 pictures, and it took at least 5 minutes before anyone said anything.
"Gee, why'd you start drawing like this suddenly? I mean, yeah, they're great, but they're darker than what you usually draw," Ray said, speaking for the first time.
Gerard suddenly realized he hadn't come up with a good excuse. If he said he'd been fucked up when he drew them and didn't even remember it, they'd get pissed at him. "I dunno, really. I just kinda started doodling last night and I was feeling kinda sad about Celeste so everything just came out differently. I like this more than my usual style, though." That should keep them occupied, he thought, pleased.
"What happened with your lady friend?" Ray asked, seeming to forget the different drawing style. He set the papers on the counter and went to sit on the couch. The three other men followed him, with Mikey sitting next to Ray, Gerard on the one armchair, and Frank curled up on the ground at Gerard's feet.
"We went to get coffee yesterday during her lunch break and everything was fine, then we started talking about marriage for some reason. She asked if I was gonna get married ever, so I figured it'd be okay if I asked her. Then she freaked out and left." Gerard scowled at the memory of it.
"That's weird. Did she say anything before that would make it seem like she would freak out?" Frank asked from the ground. He'd laid on his back for some reason and was picking at his cuticles.
Gerard thought back to the day before. "Well, she seemed really private about her family."
"Maybe she's just embarrassed or something?" Mikey offered. "I've noticed that people don't usually like talking about their families first time they meet someone."
Gerard nodded. "Yeah, probably. Oh well. I just don't know if she's gonna want to talk to me anymore. I'll probably call her later tonight."
The three guys agreed. "Just don't be a sappy, apologetic bitch, okay? The ladies don't like that!" Frank laughed, smacking his friend's leg.
"Shut your trap, Frankie!" Gerard retorted, casually hitting Frank's head. "She's only 19, I feel like enough of a pedophile already! I'm not gonna try to do anything. That'd be creepy as fuck."
Frank grinned slyly. "19, you say? Well, if you're not gonna tap that, do I get dibs? I'm the youngest one here!"
"Franklin, you have a girlfriend!" Ray said, laughing. "Don't be such a horndog. Jamia's too nice for that!"
Frank rolled his eyes. "I know, I know! I'm just saying. If Gerard doesn't bang his lovely lady, one of us just has to!" He winked. "And Mikey's the only one besides Gee who doesn't have a girlfriend...Mikey, I dub thee Sir Tap-A-Lot."
Mikey laughed loudly. "I am not gonna bang my brother's girlfriend!"
Gerard grinned. "She's not my girlfriend! Can we do something besides yell at me to get laid?"
"Like what?" Frank asked, seeming genuinely confused.
"What do we always do, Frankie?" Ray said. "We watch fucked up movies and eat. Shall we do that?"
The three other guys agreed loudly. Great, this is gonna be a normal day, Gerard thought, smiling. I need this. Especially since this might be one of the last times we spend together like this. Happy.
I hope you enjoyed! And I decided I'm going to make the chapters a little shorter so that I can get installments out faster than usual. R&R please, luvs! :)
xo Allie
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