Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Unfair As It May Be
FORGIVE ME FOR BEING GONE FOR SO LONG. I believe that I'm back for good now, I'll try at least to post once or twice a week! I hope you still love me... =[
Chapter Seven
I spent the next two weeks enduring cold-sweats and puking constantly. I lived on a diet of soup and chocolate instant breakfasts, when I could keep those down. Gerard, knowing what withdrawal was like, stayed to help. Frank caught me so many times trying to get to the cup he almost tauntingly put just out of reach in the kitchen. They watched me constantly after the first try.
Constantly, that is, until they had to go to a band publicity meeting, sort of an interview. They did take me with them, of course, but... I was a sick, unshowered mess and I would probably not be welcome, so they put me in a back room with a blanket, a comfy couch and a TV remote. Ray and Mikey sat and talked with me for a few minutes while Gee and Frank went out for a smoke. I really liked Ray, and not just for his fro. He was being really sweet about everything that was going on.
Frank came back in to tell them they were needed, kissing me on the forhead and hugging me before leaving. I had to convince him I was content before he left, but secretly, I wasn't. He'd been acting really distant for a while. He didn't sit and watch TV with me, we didn't cuddle, he made me sleep on the sofa even though he couldn't catch withdrawal. Even after I'd brushed my teeth he wouldn't kiss me on the lips.
Truthfully, I was getting fed up. It was really depressing knowing that the person you loved with all your heart was becomming distant from you... Our relationship had seemed perfect for just a few days, all the happiness and giggling and cuddling involved. Nothing, however, is a perfect as it seems. Not even the most perfect pairing on the face of this earth. Not even the seemingly most perfect relationship... It was when I realized that fact that I decided to kill myself. I brought the cup of pills with me, getting them from the house last-minute on the grounds that I felt sort of hungry and I was going to get a snack. Frank had no idea, and I was hoping he wouldn't until it was too late.
I downed the cup of pills slowly, contemplating before each one. I sat on the sofa, and waited. For the next five minutes, nothing seemed wrong. I slowly noticed my vision blurring, and I closed my eyes, completely forgetting what I had done, wondering what was causing it. When I opened them, all I heard was a screaming and crying, Frank crouching over me pleading, "How many did you take?! How many?!"
How many what? Why couldn't I focus on anything? Why couldn't I keep my eyes open... What was happe...
I was laying on my back, strapped to something. I tried moving, almost breaking limbs as I struggled to get free, until I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up to see that Frank was sitting next to me, staring at me longingly, tears in his eyes. "Frankie," I mouthed. Was I in heaven? He looked so perfect, so beautiful. His gorgous face started to blur, I felt myself losing control of my mind, my body...
Suddenly, I was crouching in the corner of an ambulance, seemingly unnoticed. Colors were faded, shapes were warped.. It was as if I was watching a drama on an antique TV while on acid... I was vageuly aware of Frank sobbing and holding my convulsing body down to the stretcher while another man shot me full of all sorts of drugs. I became shockingly still, what little color I had draining from my body.
-Franks POV-
What had I done wrong? I loved her. Did she not love me? I'd taken her into my home, nursed her through withdrawal, promised her everything... Had I ever let her down? What had I done to deserve this?
"Hey, kiddo," I heard Gerard's voice pierce the painful silence as he lightly tapped on the door. He handed me a veggie burger and a water, all I could stomach since Conny had slipped into a coma a week ago today.
The doctors said it would take time to recover from the combined effects of such heavy drug use and the suicide attempt, but I was still worried. I couldn't bear to lose her. Every time the thought crossed my mind I couldn't help but break down. This girl was my everything. I'd been quietly in love with her since the day we met, even knowing that she was headed down the wrong path. It would ruin me if I lost her...
"Oh, Frankie..." Gerard sighed, gently pulling me out of my daze with a warm embrace. I realized there were tears streaming down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them off. All I'd done this past week was cry. "Why don't you eat this and then head off for a shower and some sleep? I promise, I'll take good care of her while you're gone..."
I didn't want to leave her side, but I agreed. I ate a few bites of the burger, grabbed my pack and left for home. I stripped down, not even looking at myself before getting in the shower. I'd lost a good fifteen pounds within the week, and I was already too thin to begin with. I had to admit, I looked disgusting. I washed off, then sat on the shower floor, closing my eyes.
The next thing I was aware of was Ray standing over me, giggling softly with a towel in his hand. I was half asleep for a moment, before I realized I'd been woken up by the sudden lack of water rushing over me. When I did come to, I was completely embarrassed. There was Ray, looking at me flopped on the shower floor, completely naked. I grabbed the towel, violently drying myself off before throwing on the clothes Ray handed me.
"I brought you a preeeesssseeeent," Ray said in an annoying voice. I looked at him expectantly as he disappeared and returned with a carton of Ben&Jerry's Brownie Batter. I gained a whole new realm of respect for Ray, at that moment.
"Well, I think you were out for a good four hours. Feel rested?" Ray asked, and my eyes widened. I looked at my fingers suddenly, disgusted at how pruney they looked. He chuckled at me. Good thing for electric water heaters, or I would've woken up to a much colder surprise.
"Do you want to head back...?," more tentatively. I sighed, nodding. I was eager to see my beautiful Conny, but not in the state she was in. I slept the entire car ride, and climbed the stairs to her room in a half-awake daze. What I saw when I got there was definitely not what I'd expected.
"Hey, baby," a voice I'd been longing to hear spoke hoarsely. I rushed up to Conny, hestitating before wrapping my arms around her in the longest hug I'd ever given anyone. My eyes welled up and overflowed with tears as she smiled sleepily at me.
-Conny's POV-
"Can we just live in this moment forever?" I asked. He was holding me so tightly, he felt so warm. I could tell at that moment that he loved me. But at the same time an overwhelming guilt was beginning to wash over me. I'd put the poor thing through so much shit, and I could tell just by looking at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, he'd lost weight..
I'd been out for about a week, the doctor told me. They'd almost lost me in the ambulance. The worst thing was, Frank hadn't left my side for more than a few hours. I'd taken up the time he could've spent meeting fans, signing pictures, going to lunch with the band.. It was so scary when I woke up and the only thing I saw was Gerard practically hyperventilating, trying to grab any doctor he could. All I wanted was my Frankie, but he'd left a half hour before. I had no idea what was going on, and I'd just wanted held.
"Yes, baby. We can live forever, if you've got the time."
hardeeharhar. see what i did there?
Chapter Seven
I spent the next two weeks enduring cold-sweats and puking constantly. I lived on a diet of soup and chocolate instant breakfasts, when I could keep those down. Gerard, knowing what withdrawal was like, stayed to help. Frank caught me so many times trying to get to the cup he almost tauntingly put just out of reach in the kitchen. They watched me constantly after the first try.
Constantly, that is, until they had to go to a band publicity meeting, sort of an interview. They did take me with them, of course, but... I was a sick, unshowered mess and I would probably not be welcome, so they put me in a back room with a blanket, a comfy couch and a TV remote. Ray and Mikey sat and talked with me for a few minutes while Gee and Frank went out for a smoke. I really liked Ray, and not just for his fro. He was being really sweet about everything that was going on.
Frank came back in to tell them they were needed, kissing me on the forhead and hugging me before leaving. I had to convince him I was content before he left, but secretly, I wasn't. He'd been acting really distant for a while. He didn't sit and watch TV with me, we didn't cuddle, he made me sleep on the sofa even though he couldn't catch withdrawal. Even after I'd brushed my teeth he wouldn't kiss me on the lips.
Truthfully, I was getting fed up. It was really depressing knowing that the person you loved with all your heart was becomming distant from you... Our relationship had seemed perfect for just a few days, all the happiness and giggling and cuddling involved. Nothing, however, is a perfect as it seems. Not even the most perfect pairing on the face of this earth. Not even the seemingly most perfect relationship... It was when I realized that fact that I decided to kill myself. I brought the cup of pills with me, getting them from the house last-minute on the grounds that I felt sort of hungry and I was going to get a snack. Frank had no idea, and I was hoping he wouldn't until it was too late.
I downed the cup of pills slowly, contemplating before each one. I sat on the sofa, and waited. For the next five minutes, nothing seemed wrong. I slowly noticed my vision blurring, and I closed my eyes, completely forgetting what I had done, wondering what was causing it. When I opened them, all I heard was a screaming and crying, Frank crouching over me pleading, "How many did you take?! How many?!"
How many what? Why couldn't I focus on anything? Why couldn't I keep my eyes open... What was happe...
I was laying on my back, strapped to something. I tried moving, almost breaking limbs as I struggled to get free, until I felt arms wrap around me. I looked up to see that Frank was sitting next to me, staring at me longingly, tears in his eyes. "Frankie," I mouthed. Was I in heaven? He looked so perfect, so beautiful. His gorgous face started to blur, I felt myself losing control of my mind, my body...
Suddenly, I was crouching in the corner of an ambulance, seemingly unnoticed. Colors were faded, shapes were warped.. It was as if I was watching a drama on an antique TV while on acid... I was vageuly aware of Frank sobbing and holding my convulsing body down to the stretcher while another man shot me full of all sorts of drugs. I became shockingly still, what little color I had draining from my body.
-Franks POV-
What had I done wrong? I loved her. Did she not love me? I'd taken her into my home, nursed her through withdrawal, promised her everything... Had I ever let her down? What had I done to deserve this?
"Hey, kiddo," I heard Gerard's voice pierce the painful silence as he lightly tapped on the door. He handed me a veggie burger and a water, all I could stomach since Conny had slipped into a coma a week ago today.
The doctors said it would take time to recover from the combined effects of such heavy drug use and the suicide attempt, but I was still worried. I couldn't bear to lose her. Every time the thought crossed my mind I couldn't help but break down. This girl was my everything. I'd been quietly in love with her since the day we met, even knowing that she was headed down the wrong path. It would ruin me if I lost her...
"Oh, Frankie..." Gerard sighed, gently pulling me out of my daze with a warm embrace. I realized there were tears streaming down my cheeks, but I didn't bother to wipe them off. All I'd done this past week was cry. "Why don't you eat this and then head off for a shower and some sleep? I promise, I'll take good care of her while you're gone..."
I didn't want to leave her side, but I agreed. I ate a few bites of the burger, grabbed my pack and left for home. I stripped down, not even looking at myself before getting in the shower. I'd lost a good fifteen pounds within the week, and I was already too thin to begin with. I had to admit, I looked disgusting. I washed off, then sat on the shower floor, closing my eyes.
The next thing I was aware of was Ray standing over me, giggling softly with a towel in his hand. I was half asleep for a moment, before I realized I'd been woken up by the sudden lack of water rushing over me. When I did come to, I was completely embarrassed. There was Ray, looking at me flopped on the shower floor, completely naked. I grabbed the towel, violently drying myself off before throwing on the clothes Ray handed me.
"I brought you a preeeesssseeeent," Ray said in an annoying voice. I looked at him expectantly as he disappeared and returned with a carton of Ben&Jerry's Brownie Batter. I gained a whole new realm of respect for Ray, at that moment.
"Well, I think you were out for a good four hours. Feel rested?" Ray asked, and my eyes widened. I looked at my fingers suddenly, disgusted at how pruney they looked. He chuckled at me. Good thing for electric water heaters, or I would've woken up to a much colder surprise.
"Do you want to head back...?," more tentatively. I sighed, nodding. I was eager to see my beautiful Conny, but not in the state she was in. I slept the entire car ride, and climbed the stairs to her room in a half-awake daze. What I saw when I got there was definitely not what I'd expected.
"Hey, baby," a voice I'd been longing to hear spoke hoarsely. I rushed up to Conny, hestitating before wrapping my arms around her in the longest hug I'd ever given anyone. My eyes welled up and overflowed with tears as she smiled sleepily at me.
-Conny's POV-
"Can we just live in this moment forever?" I asked. He was holding me so tightly, he felt so warm. I could tell at that moment that he loved me. But at the same time an overwhelming guilt was beginning to wash over me. I'd put the poor thing through so much shit, and I could tell just by looking at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, he'd lost weight..
I'd been out for about a week, the doctor told me. They'd almost lost me in the ambulance. The worst thing was, Frank hadn't left my side for more than a few hours. I'd taken up the time he could've spent meeting fans, signing pictures, going to lunch with the band.. It was so scary when I woke up and the only thing I saw was Gerard practically hyperventilating, trying to grab any doctor he could. All I wanted was my Frankie, but he'd left a half hour before. I had no idea what was going on, and I'd just wanted held.
"Yes, baby. We can live forever, if you've got the time."
hardeeharhar. see what i did there?
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