Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > When Our Cars Collide
My eyes flickered open as the light from my open curtains cast down onto my face. I sat up groggily and rubbed my eyes. Wait. Why was the curtain open it had been closed when I had fall asleep. I got to my feet resting a hand on my bedside table. I felt something crunch under my hand. I looked down and there was a note. My breath caught in my throat. I would recognize that handwriting anywhere. It was… Gerard’s.
What but how? That wasn’t possible, was it? He was dead. I mean there was no body, but it had been confirmed right? There is no way that this could be from Gerard. My Gerard. My brother. I pulled the note closer to my face and examined it closely there was no denying it. It was Gerard’s handwriting. But none of this was making any sense. How could it be here? He couldn’t possibly be …. Alive?... could he?
I ran to my bathroom and showered and dressed, I grabbed the note in my hand and ran for the door. I would find him. I would show him that I remembered, that I was still here waiting for him. I would find my brother if it killed me.
The street was cold on my bar feet. It had snowed the night before, but I continued to ignore the biting cold. I needed to know where he was. Now that I knew he was out there somewhere.
I hated turned onto the street where Gerard’s apartment used to be. I walked under the fire escape and looked up at the window. I began to make my accent up the flights of stairs. I pulled my coat closer around myself as I reached the top. My destination. My breath came out in rasps. I began to try and opened the window and it squeaked open slightly.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I heard the window squeak open. I bolted out of bed and into the corner of the room into the shadows out of view. My eyes darted to the ray of sun that flew into the room as the stranger entered. I squinted slightly from the brightness and remained in the shadows as to not burn myself. My eyes widened at the sight of the intruder.
His mousy brown hair and round glasses, His thin frame and height. Those hazel eyes that used to look up to me so much. Mikey. My lungs constricted painfully as I held back tears, while I watched him drop to his knees and cry. I hesitantly stepped forward; he spun around to seek out the source of the movement.
“W-who’s there” he stammered, oh how I missed him.
“M-Mikey, it’s me” I said softly and walked into his view range. I saw his body tense and heard his heart rate accelerate.
“B-but, h-how, t-that’s not possible, y-you’re dead” he stammered falling back onto the floor and crawling slightly away.
“Mikey please, you have to understand” I said and moved towards him slightly only to see him shrink back. My hand recoiled and I cat my gaze downwards.
“Please” I whispered helplessly.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Those eyes, that hair. But it wasn’t him. He was different. He was dead. His skin was so pale. And he almost looked unnatural. This wasn’t my brother. This wasn’t Gerard.
How could he be? Gerard died in a car crash. There was nothing explaining why he should be here, before me. Right now. Unless…
“ How?” I questioned.
“ I’m a vampire Mikey” his words froze my heart. When did that happen? How long had he been alive for?
“How could you not tell me Gerard? It hut so much to know you were dead, and you don’t even let me know that you never died!” I shouted standing up to face him dead on.
“W-what, b-but Mikey you don’t understand…”
“ No. You didn’t tell me. You let me wallow in my mourning of you. You let me cry for you. You didn’t even care” and with that I ran away.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“ No Mikey wait” I could after him but he was already long gone and there was nothing that I could do to bring him back.
I sank to my knees there was nothing I could do. He was gone and I could not follow as the sun was still up. I knew he hated me now. And I understood that. I would hate me too. I guess that I was just scared. Scared that he would hate me because of what I had become. Or because I was no longer what I used to be. But now that I think about it. That was stupid. I mean this is Mikey I am talking about. He would accept me no matter what. How could I disclude him like this. This was my entire fault and I deserved it all.
I heard someone enter the room from behind me and felt cold hands wrap around me and hold me tight. I lent back into his chest it was times like these that I was thankful to have frank by my side. I do not honestly think that I could possibly make it through without him with me.
“ It’s all going to be ok G,” he cooed stroking my hair as he let me cry on him. But I knew it wasn’t. I knew it was too late. I knew I would never get him back. I would never have.
Mikey. And I knew that right now he was whom I needed the most. I needed my brother with me. I wanted him here. But that was never going to happen. I knew that he hated me now. And it was my entire fault. It was my fault that I could never hold him in my arms or comfort him again.
I had chased him away. My own bother hated me.
He would never look at me the same; I had hurt him worse than any other. I was what everyone thought I was.
I was a…
Monster.
What but how? That wasn’t possible, was it? He was dead. I mean there was no body, but it had been confirmed right? There is no way that this could be from Gerard. My Gerard. My brother. I pulled the note closer to my face and examined it closely there was no denying it. It was Gerard’s handwriting. But none of this was making any sense. How could it be here? He couldn’t possibly be …. Alive?... could he?
I ran to my bathroom and showered and dressed, I grabbed the note in my hand and ran for the door. I would find him. I would show him that I remembered, that I was still here waiting for him. I would find my brother if it killed me.
The street was cold on my bar feet. It had snowed the night before, but I continued to ignore the biting cold. I needed to know where he was. Now that I knew he was out there somewhere.
I hated turned onto the street where Gerard’s apartment used to be. I walked under the fire escape and looked up at the window. I began to make my accent up the flights of stairs. I pulled my coat closer around myself as I reached the top. My destination. My breath came out in rasps. I began to try and opened the window and it squeaked open slightly.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I heard the window squeak open. I bolted out of bed and into the corner of the room into the shadows out of view. My eyes darted to the ray of sun that flew into the room as the stranger entered. I squinted slightly from the brightness and remained in the shadows as to not burn myself. My eyes widened at the sight of the intruder.
His mousy brown hair and round glasses, His thin frame and height. Those hazel eyes that used to look up to me so much. Mikey. My lungs constricted painfully as I held back tears, while I watched him drop to his knees and cry. I hesitantly stepped forward; he spun around to seek out the source of the movement.
“W-who’s there” he stammered, oh how I missed him.
“M-Mikey, it’s me” I said softly and walked into his view range. I saw his body tense and heard his heart rate accelerate.
“B-but, h-how, t-that’s not possible, y-you’re dead” he stammered falling back onto the floor and crawling slightly away.
“Mikey please, you have to understand” I said and moved towards him slightly only to see him shrink back. My hand recoiled and I cat my gaze downwards.
“Please” I whispered helplessly.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Those eyes, that hair. But it wasn’t him. He was different. He was dead. His skin was so pale. And he almost looked unnatural. This wasn’t my brother. This wasn’t Gerard.
How could he be? Gerard died in a car crash. There was nothing explaining why he should be here, before me. Right now. Unless…
“ How?” I questioned.
“ I’m a vampire Mikey” his words froze my heart. When did that happen? How long had he been alive for?
“How could you not tell me Gerard? It hut so much to know you were dead, and you don’t even let me know that you never died!” I shouted standing up to face him dead on.
“W-what, b-but Mikey you don’t understand…”
“ No. You didn’t tell me. You let me wallow in my mourning of you. You let me cry for you. You didn’t even care” and with that I ran away.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
“ No Mikey wait” I could after him but he was already long gone and there was nothing that I could do to bring him back.
I sank to my knees there was nothing I could do. He was gone and I could not follow as the sun was still up. I knew he hated me now. And I understood that. I would hate me too. I guess that I was just scared. Scared that he would hate me because of what I had become. Or because I was no longer what I used to be. But now that I think about it. That was stupid. I mean this is Mikey I am talking about. He would accept me no matter what. How could I disclude him like this. This was my entire fault and I deserved it all.
I heard someone enter the room from behind me and felt cold hands wrap around me and hold me tight. I lent back into his chest it was times like these that I was thankful to have frank by my side. I do not honestly think that I could possibly make it through without him with me.
“ It’s all going to be ok G,” he cooed stroking my hair as he let me cry on him. But I knew it wasn’t. I knew it was too late. I knew I would never get him back. I would never have.
Mikey. And I knew that right now he was whom I needed the most. I needed my brother with me. I wanted him here. But that was never going to happen. I knew that he hated me now. And it was my entire fault. It was my fault that I could never hold him in my arms or comfort him again.
I had chased him away. My own bother hated me.
He would never look at me the same; I had hurt him worse than any other. I was what everyone thought I was.
I was a…
Monster.
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