Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Where Is My Mind

Why Is There So Much Pain?

by i-stole-the-cookies 1 review

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Erotica,Romance - Characters: Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2011-08-09 - Updated: 2011-08-10 - 2536 words - Complete

Chapter Three

My dad was too busy to come and get me which made me feel so special. So, instead I temporarily lived with Gerard, Mikey and their parents. I have to say, at first the boys found it difficult to adjust to living with a girl. It was quite amusing actually. Except with Gerard walked in on me when I was nude. We were both embarrassed about that. Me, because I've always been self-conscious of my body and Gerard, because he was guy.

Mikey helped me catch up on my school work, we actually sat one weekend over Christmas and went over everything that I had missed. I hadn't seen Frank since I was in hospital. He came over once to drop off Christmas presents but I was asleep on the couch. I didn't even get a chance to thank him for helping me the day I was attacked.

"What do you think is wrong with him?" I asked Gerard. He came to pick me and Mikey up from school but Mikey needed to stay and go over an assignment. We were in the car, heading back to the house.
"I don't know what to tell you." Gerard said. "I'm telling the truth, he doesn't speak about it."
"Ok, but why won't he speak to me?"
"I think he was scared." Gerard said. "I mean, that first day you were in the hospital, he ended up staying the night himself. He had a really bad panic attack. I think he thought you were going to die."
"I hadn't thought. Maybe we should go see him." I said.
"Didn't you see him at school today?"
"No he wasn't there." I said. "Which is strange? Unless he's sick. He's allowed to get sick its, freakin' January." Gerard drove into the direction of Frank's house.

We drove for what seemed like hours but we were there. His parent's car wasn't in the driveway so I assumed they were out or at work. We parked outside of the driveway in case Frank's parents came home and wanted to park in their space.

We knocked on the front door and Frank answered immediately. He didn't look sick but he didn't look healthy either. Something was wrong.

"Hey buddy." Gerard said.
"Hey guys, come in." Frank said, he moved so we could go in. "How are you Roxy? Are you still in any pain?" He asked as he closed the door behind us.
"My head hurts a little now and then, but the doctors said that would happen for a while." I replied. "Why weren't you at school today?"

He gave us an expression that I had never seen on him. I saw it on myself the whole time, and on him it just looked terrible.

"Frank what happened?" Gerard demanded. I touched Gerard's arm as a signal to calm down a little. I then, took Frank's arm and led him into his sitting room where we sat down with my arm around him.
"Tell me what happened." I told him calmly.
"My parents..." He began. Tears filled his eyes. "...splitting up."
"Oh baby." I said. He wrapped his skinny arms around my waist and held me. I stroked his cheek, to comfort him. Gerard left the room and came back with a glass of water. He set it on the coffee table and sat in the arm chair facing us.
"I'm 18 now! I didn't think this would bother me so much." Frank sobbed. I don't think I had ever seen him cry this much.
"Its ok, Frankie." I whispered. "Everything's gonna be alright." I took the glass and told him to drink. He sat up and did as he was told.
"Did they say why?" Gerard asked. Frank shook his head.
"I've seen it coming for a long time. I was preparing myself for it." Frank replied. "I didn't think I'd take it this bad. Neither did they. I screamed, I threw things, I basically threw a fucking hissy fit, stormed out, got drunk." He took another sip of water. "I came home, dad was on the couch, my mom was crying in her room. I just went into my room, and I tried to sleep but I couldn't and then the next thing I knew, you guys were knocking on the door." He drank more water and we all stayed silent.
"Do you wanna come stay with us?" Gerard asked after a few minutes. "I mean, Roxy is in the spare room but you could bunk with me or Mikey."
"No, thank you. Roxy is already there I don't want to make the place crowded." Frank said. "But thanks."
"I'm going to California in next week." Gerard looked surprised. "I was going to tell everyone at dinner," I said to him. He nodded and let me carry on. "How about you come with me, while your parents get everything sorted. It'll be easier for everyone if you're not there during the dividing up shit and moving out process. Believe me."
"That sounds like a good idea. I've never been to California." Frank replied with a sort of smile. "What about school?"
"We can always catch up. And there's always summer school as well." I said to him. "First you need some sleep." I stood up and pulled him up by his hands. "Maybe a shower too."
"Can someone stay with me?" Frank asked. "I don't want to wake up and be alone again." I volunteered to stay.

Gerard sighed and stood up too. "I'll tell mom and dad that you're staying here tonight. I'll also tell them that you're going to California."
"Thanks Gerard." I replied. I gave him a one armed hug and then set about getting Frank cleaned up.
"Do you want me to bring you a bag of stuff?" He asked. Gerard, going through my underwear? No thanks.
"If you give me five minutes, I'll get Frank in the shower and then I'll come back with you to get some stuff." I said to him. I looked and Frank to make sure he was ok with that and he nodded.
"Bath might be better than I shower. I think I pulled a muscle in my back, climbing in the window last night." Frank replied. I smiled at him and led him upstairs.

After running a bath for him. I left to give him some privacy and went to go get some some stuff. I left Gerard to tell Mrs Way what had happened and she thought it was a good idea for someone to stay with Frank. Gerard dropped me off at Frank's again but he wasn't willing to let me go.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.
"What are you talking about? Of course I'm sure." I said. "I don't have feelings for him anymore, Gerard. I have feelings for someone else."
"Who?" He asked.
"None of your business." I said to him. "I'll see you tomorrow." I was annoyed at him for the tiniest reason. And it wasn't even because of him. I got out of the car as Gerard said something. I didn't quite catch what he said so I decided to ignore it.

I let myself back into Frank's house and I went up the stairs. There was no sound except a few splashes of water. I knocked on the bathroom door and he told me to come in.

"Hey, how you feeling?" I asked him, while I was thanking God for bubbles. I didn't need to see Mr Winky today, no siree. But maybe just a peek...NO! Stop it Roxy!
"I'm alright now I suppose." He replied.
"Ok, I'm gonna go fix you something to eat." I told him.
"No, could you stay with me?" He asked. His eyes filled with tears again and I couldn't say no to that. I smiled at him and nodded. I put my stuff by the door and went to sit on the toilet lid. It was quite a small bathroom so, everything was quite close together. The blue and white tiles have been there since I could remember. I had known Frank for a long time. Longer than, Gerard and Mikey.

I clasped my hands together, struggling to find something to say. And then I thought of something.

"How's Andie? I didn't see her at school today either." I said. He looked glum again.
"Andie, ran off with some wannabe rockstar to New York, I think." Frank said.
"I'm sorry Frank." I replied. I moved and knelt by his side. "Its not been your day today, has it?"
"She ran off before Christmas, I just didn't tell anyone." Frank replied. "Well, thats not true, I was going to tell you but then you were in hospital."
"Is that why you called that day?" I asked. He nodded and shifted uncomfortably. "Back still bothering you?" He nodded again. "I'll maybe figure out how to give massages in the next half an hour...see what I can do." I giggled. "I might make it worse, so that's not a good idea." Frank smiled again.
"Everything is so shit." Frank said. "I mean, first, you and I fall out."
"But then we made up" I pointed out.
"Yeah, but then your mom attacked you and killed herself with alcohol." Frank's voice was getting louder. "and then my parents annouce they're splitting up and Andie ran off and I can't take it anymore." He started crying and I didn't know what to say.
"Frank, I'm ok with my mother being dead. In fact, I'm better off without her. Andie was a stupid slut." Thats all I had so far. I dipped my hand in the water, sleeve and all to find his hand. I gripped his hand tightly and pulled it out of the water. My sleeve was soaking and so was the floor now but I didn't care. "You saved me by coming to the house that day, you knew what kind of state my mother was in but you still came. You were so brave." I sighed. "and with your parents, I know you can be brave and mature about it because you're strong. You are the strongest person I know and..." I couldn't believe what I was going to say next. "Its one of the reasons why I loved you so much."

We stayed silent for a long time. I still held his hand and it was getting cold. I let his hand drop back into the water and he cleared his throat.

"You don't love me anymore." He stated. I nodded and looked at the wet floor. "What if I could make you change your mind?"
"You can't just make someone love you." I said. "So don't even think about it." I stood up and grabbed a towel to dry my hand. I left the room muttering something about food.


An hour later, Frank and I had made something that resembled a pizza. There was all sorts of crap on it but it actually tasted really good. How it took us an hour, I'll never know.

Frank didn't bother dressing fully so he just wore some shorts. I really wish he would put on a shirt. I was being distracted from the T.V. Frank started falling asleep on the couch and I thought it would be a good idea to get him upstairs to his bed.

"Frank?" I shook him a little and startled him. "Sorry babe, but you're falling asleep, lets get you to bed." I looked at the clock. It was only 8 o'clock. Poor thing was exhausted. Just then, Frank's mom came in the front door. Obviously upset about something.

"Frank honey?" She called.
"In here mom." Frank mumbled. His eyes filled with tears again but he managed to put them away. "I can't deal with this right now."
"Its alright, I'll handle it." I replied. Frank's mom came in and was surprised to see me.
"Hey, Mrs Iero." I said brightly. "Frank's not feeling well, so I'm just gonna take him up to bed."
"How are you dear, since-" I cut her off.
"I'm feeling better, thank you." I replied. "Do you mind if I stay the night?" I've had a hard day at school and I'm just not up to walking home."
"I can always give you a lift?" She was trying to get rid of me.
"Mom, I'd like it if Roxy stayed. She can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep on the floor." Frank said.
"Like hell are you sleeping on the floor." I muttered. "I'll be gone first thing in the morning." I told Frank's mom.
"I suppose." She muttered something incoherent and went off to the kitchen.

Me and Frank scurried off to his bedroom. I found the bag that I brought with me and found my pyjamas inside. I awkwardly motioned to the door with my pyjamas and went to the bathroom to change. The bath water was stil in the bath. Men. I unplugged the drain and let the water disappear.

I brushed my teeth and went back into Frank's room. He had managed to drag the spare mattress from the spare bedroom into his bedroom. The mattress was a double mattress and it filled most of the room. I sighed and didn't bother arguing with him. I found the spare blanket in his closet and spread it over the mattress. I made sure Frank got in his own bed before I got into mine. I turned off the light and climbed into my bed.

I closed my eyes and few moments later I was asleep. I didn't think I was that tired but I guess I was. I woke up about an hour later with the sound of something smashing downstairs. I nearly screamed. I turned over and saw that Frank wasn't in his bed. Oh no. They were fighting. All of them. I didn't know whether to get involved or not. But then I heard Frank's upset voice and I had to. I got up, the adrenaline pumped through me as I made my way downstairs.

"Whats going on?!" I yelled. Ok, thats not what I wanted to yell. "Can't you see what all this fighting is doing to your son?!" Because that's much better...
"Roxy, this doesn't concern you, honey." Mr Iero said.
"No disrespect Mr Iero, but it does concern me. My best friend in the whole world, is falling to pieces. His parents, the only two people he has ever really trusted and loved are pushing themselves away from each other and him. Its killing him!"
"Roxy..." Frank said. "Don't." I ignored him and continued.
"My parents split up and it wasn't easy. They didn't make it easy by fighting." I had calmed down a bit. "I know you guys don't love each other, I get that, I really do. But Frank is the most important person in this whole situation. You need to make it easier for him and let him know that nothing is going to change. You need to tell him that you will still love him, no matter what happens." I took a breath, turned on my heel and went back upstairs.
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