Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Cemetery Drive, Jersey
"HAPPY BRIDAL SHOWER!!!!" I yell in Emmy's ear almost hitting her in the face with the persent my Dad got her. I got her one too! Dad's is just a little more...Housey.
She giggled and took it. "What is this?! It's like 5,000 pounds!!" She shook the 5 ton box and heard little to nothing. "Why must your Dad make things so complicated?!"
"Beause he's my father." I remind her. She rolls her eyes and tears the light ducky paper that covered it. She gaped. "WHY DID YOUR DAD BUY ME A KITCHEN MASTER?!?!"
I sigh. I really hate explaining my Dad's insane logic. "And I quote! 'If she's going to be a wife and a mother she needs to have one of these. My mother always wanted one and--' Blah blah blah. I just zoned out after that."
"Your dad is crazy." The twins say to the right of me. "Yes girls, I know this." They shrug.
Just reminding you."
"Mr. Igoe is awesome!" Frank pointed out. "HE GAVE $20 JUST FOR TELLING HIM HIS TIE LOOKED GOOD!"
"That's because I hated the thing." I tell him. THE TIE HAD A FRICKEN MONKEY ON IT!
"SCREW YOU!"
Emmy looks around. "Okay this is scarring me. Where's Aj?" I think we all jumped at the thought. We all knew when Aj is alone that all hell is breaking loose just outside our door. I don't want to die...
Frank bolted up and ran to the window. "Oh thank god the sky is still blue!" We all look at him like the crazy person he is. "If Aj was ending the world the sky would be neon green with her evil spaz powers!"
"True that." The twins agree, nodding in their creepy motion.
There was a silence of pure fear. Then, we heard the door slam open. "ARE YOU READY FOR THE BEST BACHELORETTE PARTY EVER?!" Loud clubbing music filled the house. In about five seconds I see Aj fist pumping into the room with a bag full of something and a boom box on her shoulder.
"AJ! SAMMIE IS TRYING TO SLEEP!" Emmy snapped at her sister. Aj mocked her with her tongue out and turned off the speakers. "And didn't I tell you I'm having a bridal shower not a bachelorette party?! I have a kid!"
"YOUR NO FUN!" Aj spat. "Can we at least enjoy the liquor?" She asked, taking out smores voka from that santa-like bag.
"DUDE WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!" I yell running over to it. I haven't had this stuff in a year!
"From Mom and Dad. They were passed out from some crack or boos. So I raided their liquor box." Aj shruged. "It was never hard to anyway."
"Your an idiot." Emmy hisses. "Love you too." Aj mumbled. "ANYWAYS!" She yelled, digging through the bag again and pulling out-- Oh god. "PENIS POP FOR YOU! PENIS POP FOR YOU! PENIS POP FOR YOU TOO!" She handed each of us a penis shaped lollipop.
"Ewwwww." I stare at the thing.
"Gerard's is bigger." Frank looked at the lollipop lightly, even turning it every which way. Emmy and I gaped at him, horrified. While the twins and Aj fell over laughing. He noticed our looks. "What?! It is!"
"Enough talk about Gerard's dick! OPEN YOUR BACHELORETTE GIFT!!" Aj soved a tall package in Emmy's face. "Do I have-"
"YES!" Aj screamed. Emmy eyed the gift then tore it open. "AJ! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS?!" Emmy threw the black dildo across the room. Aj shrugged. "Like I'm telling you mommy dearest."
"Why the hell did you get a dildo?!" Emmy stressed. "A Dildo!!"
"Because Ray might want to be alittle experimental and I want you to be perpared!"
"THEN WHY IS IT BIG AND BLACK?!"
"Once you go black you never go back!"
"AJ!"
"Hey lookie! The babies up!" Aj skipped over to her little turtle, as she will call her. "Hey Sam Sam! Did your Mommy wake you up with her yelling about dildos and penis pops?" Aj cooed, picking her up and cuddling. Sammie giggled in her aunt's arms.
"DON'T TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT! I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW WHAT A DILDO IS UNTIL SHES AT LEAST 13!" Emmy screamed. I look at her. "Emmy, you and I both know she'll be curing at age 5 and she'll know how guys like Frank and Gerard do it by the time shes 7."
"I CAN TELL HER NOW!" Frank suggests.
Emmy looked horrified. She ran over and took Sammie from Aj's hands. "My baby!!" As I sit there laughing I felt something poke me in the back. I turn and see Aj with the dildo. I jump out of the way. THAT THING TOUCHED ME!
"Ungard!" Aj yelled, holding it forward, using it as a sword. She poked the air in a skillful way."I HAVE A NIFFTY SWORD!!"
What are we going to do with her?
---
Tell me the truth, how badly did it suck? I was told I was having a sleep over tomorrow soooo I needed to update. The weddings coming up soon! Yay! And This will be longer than I said because I need alot of time for---NOT TELLING! You'll know when I write it. So tell me what you think, da? DANKE! ~JS~
She giggled and took it. "What is this?! It's like 5,000 pounds!!" She shook the 5 ton box and heard little to nothing. "Why must your Dad make things so complicated?!"
"Beause he's my father." I remind her. She rolls her eyes and tears the light ducky paper that covered it. She gaped. "WHY DID YOUR DAD BUY ME A KITCHEN MASTER?!?!"
I sigh. I really hate explaining my Dad's insane logic. "And I quote! 'If she's going to be a wife and a mother she needs to have one of these. My mother always wanted one and--' Blah blah blah. I just zoned out after that."
"Your dad is crazy." The twins say to the right of me. "Yes girls, I know this." They shrug.
Just reminding you."
"Mr. Igoe is awesome!" Frank pointed out. "HE GAVE $20 JUST FOR TELLING HIM HIS TIE LOOKED GOOD!"
"That's because I hated the thing." I tell him. THE TIE HAD A FRICKEN MONKEY ON IT!
"SCREW YOU!"
Emmy looks around. "Okay this is scarring me. Where's Aj?" I think we all jumped at the thought. We all knew when Aj is alone that all hell is breaking loose just outside our door. I don't want to die...
Frank bolted up and ran to the window. "Oh thank god the sky is still blue!" We all look at him like the crazy person he is. "If Aj was ending the world the sky would be neon green with her evil spaz powers!"
"True that." The twins agree, nodding in their creepy motion.
There was a silence of pure fear. Then, we heard the door slam open. "ARE YOU READY FOR THE BEST BACHELORETTE PARTY EVER?!" Loud clubbing music filled the house. In about five seconds I see Aj fist pumping into the room with a bag full of something and a boom box on her shoulder.
"AJ! SAMMIE IS TRYING TO SLEEP!" Emmy snapped at her sister. Aj mocked her with her tongue out and turned off the speakers. "And didn't I tell you I'm having a bridal shower not a bachelorette party?! I have a kid!"
"YOUR NO FUN!" Aj spat. "Can we at least enjoy the liquor?" She asked, taking out smores voka from that santa-like bag.
"DUDE WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!" I yell running over to it. I haven't had this stuff in a year!
"From Mom and Dad. They were passed out from some crack or boos. So I raided their liquor box." Aj shruged. "It was never hard to anyway."
"Your an idiot." Emmy hisses. "Love you too." Aj mumbled. "ANYWAYS!" She yelled, digging through the bag again and pulling out-- Oh god. "PENIS POP FOR YOU! PENIS POP FOR YOU! PENIS POP FOR YOU TOO!" She handed each of us a penis shaped lollipop.
"Ewwwww." I stare at the thing.
"Gerard's is bigger." Frank looked at the lollipop lightly, even turning it every which way. Emmy and I gaped at him, horrified. While the twins and Aj fell over laughing. He noticed our looks. "What?! It is!"
"Enough talk about Gerard's dick! OPEN YOUR BACHELORETTE GIFT!!" Aj soved a tall package in Emmy's face. "Do I have-"
"YES!" Aj screamed. Emmy eyed the gift then tore it open. "AJ! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS?!" Emmy threw the black dildo across the room. Aj shrugged. "Like I'm telling you mommy dearest."
"Why the hell did you get a dildo?!" Emmy stressed. "A Dildo!!"
"Because Ray might want to be alittle experimental and I want you to be perpared!"
"THEN WHY IS IT BIG AND BLACK?!"
"Once you go black you never go back!"
"AJ!"
"Hey lookie! The babies up!" Aj skipped over to her little turtle, as she will call her. "Hey Sam Sam! Did your Mommy wake you up with her yelling about dildos and penis pops?" Aj cooed, picking her up and cuddling. Sammie giggled in her aunt's arms.
"DON'T TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT! I DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW WHAT A DILDO IS UNTIL SHES AT LEAST 13!" Emmy screamed. I look at her. "Emmy, you and I both know she'll be curing at age 5 and she'll know how guys like Frank and Gerard do it by the time shes 7."
"I CAN TELL HER NOW!" Frank suggests.
Emmy looked horrified. She ran over and took Sammie from Aj's hands. "My baby!!" As I sit there laughing I felt something poke me in the back. I turn and see Aj with the dildo. I jump out of the way. THAT THING TOUCHED ME!
"Ungard!" Aj yelled, holding it forward, using it as a sword. She poked the air in a skillful way."I HAVE A NIFFTY SWORD!!"
What are we going to do with her?
---
Tell me the truth, how badly did it suck? I was told I was having a sleep over tomorrow soooo I needed to update. The weddings coming up soon! Yay! And This will be longer than I said because I need alot of time for---NOT TELLING! You'll know when I write it. So tell me what you think, da? DANKE! ~JS~
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